17-The Illegal Maid Cafe

[Scene: "Cafe Mofu-Mofu" - Dressing Room]

Rinka stood by the door, holding a clipboard. She was wearing a sleek, terrifyingly strict "Head Maid" uniform with glasses.

Rinka: "Listen up. To pay off your 300,000 yen debt from the hotel, I have rented this failing Maid Cafe. You will serve. You will smile. You will generate revenue."

Chi-chan: "I refuse! I am a Demon Princess and this skirt is indecent as well!"

Rinka: "Every time you complain, I extend your shift by one hour."

Chi-chan: "How is this? Welcome back, Master! ...Die." (She muttered the last part).

Poko: "Rinka! Help! My buttons!"
Poko was wearing a standard size M uniform. It was fighting a losing war against her curves.
PING. A button shot off and embedded itself in the wall.

Rinka: "I don't know do whatever but If you rip the rented fabric, I’m selling your fur coat."

Rinka: "Table 4 ordered the 'Love-Love Omelet Rice'. Poko, go draw a cute picture with ketchup."

Poko: "Roger! I’m an artist!"

Poko ran to the table. She grabbed the ketchup bottle.
Poko: "Here I go! Moe Moe... KYUN!"
Poko squeezed the bottle  too hard.
SPLURT.
Instead of a heart, she drew a red blob that looked exactly like a murder scene.

Customer: "Is that... a kidney?"

Poko: "It’s... uh... abstract art! Master!"

[The Special Show]

Rinka: "We are not getting much customers. We need a 'Special Event' to rip off—I mean, entertain and attract them. Chi-chan, get on the stage."

Chi-chan: "Do what? Sing? I sound like a dying crow!"

Poko: "I have an idea! Maid Cafes need a sexy dance show!"

Rinka: "Do it."

Poko: "Transformation Magic! STAGE POLE!"
Poko placed a leaf on her head.

POOF.

Poko transformed.
She became a Vertical Chrome Dancing Pole planted in the center of the stage.
However, because it was Poko, the pole had a raccoon tail at the base, and the metal was fluffy and furry.

Poko (Pole Form): "Climb me, Chi-chan!"

Chi-chan: "NO! This is beneath my dignity!"

Rinka: (Cracks knuckles)

Chi-chan: "FINE! I will perform my best moves 'Dance of the Serpent'!"

Chi-chan jumped onto the Poko-Pole.
She tried to do a sexy spin. But she just looked like a brat playing on a playground jungle gym.

SQUEAK. SLIDE.

Chi-chan: "It’s slippery! Poko, stop sweating!"

Poko (Pole Form): "I can't help it! Your claws are tickling me!"

Chi-chan slid down and her legs got hooked around the pole, hanging upside down, her maid skirt flopping over her face (revealing bloomers). She was flailing her arms.

Chi-chan: "AM I ALLURING?! POKO?"

Customers: (Uncomfortable silence) "Is... is she stuck?"

Suddenly, the cafe door kicked open.
BANG!

A grim-faced Police Officer walked in. He was holding a baton.

Officer: "Routine inspection!"

The Officer froze.
He looked at the stage.

He saw:

A Chi-chan in a skimpy maid outfit.

Hanging upside down on a pole.

Screaming.

The Officer’s face turned purple.

Officer: "FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN CAFE?!"

Rinka: (Quietly taking off her Head Maid uniform and putting it in the trash) "Baku-chan. Let’s go."

Baku-chan: (Waking up from the dishwasher) "Is the shift over...?"

[Scene: The Police Station]

It was sunset.
Chi-chan and Poko were sitting on chair. They had been lectured for 3 hours about "Public Decency."
Rinka stood over them, looking furious.

Rinka: "Cafe got shut down. The fine is 50,000 yen....your debt has increased."

Chi-chan: "It wasn't my fault! It was all your fault!"

Rinka: "I see."

Rinka pulled out a plastic bag from her purse.
Inside was the "Giant Baby Costume" (Diaper and Bonnet).

Chi-chan: "No. Rinka, please. We talked about this. I have pride."

Rinka: "The Police Officer said you looked like a 'lost child'. So, you will dress the part."

Rinka: "You will stand in front of the station holding a sign that says 'I WAS A NAUGHTY MAID.'."

Chi-chan: "THIS IS SO UNFAIR....!"

Rinka: "Put on the diaper."

Chi-chan: "NOOOOOOOO!"

(Rinka forcefully puts the bonnet on Chi-chan's head).

Baku-chan: (Patting Chi-chan) "You look... very cute. Like a giant angry baby."