Chapter 1:

The monkey and the bum

En Passant Grandmaster Volume 5

August 26th, 2024...

At the esteemed cooking college, Tabemono gakuin, in Tokyo, a large silky sifaka perched in a tree as he managed to catch the tail end of a chess game between two well-dressed businessmen.

The lemur was known to be an infamous reporter known as Cyril Milverton. He had originally served as the aide to a notorious blackmailer and gossiper known as Rebelle Milverton Adler. However, after her untimely and unnatural passing, he assumed control of what was left of her tattered blackmailing empire. Cyril was a highly intelligent lemur and had learned human speech and language at a young age. He had also grown far larger than any in his species, though much to his annoyance, he had been unable to do anything about his face losing pigmentation.

As soon as the game finished, one man got up and stormed away in a huff, as Cyril took his place and glared at the man seated across from him.

"So care to actually be cooperative, Inohara?"

"Arere? Is that Cyril the silky sifaka?. What a sight for sore eyes. Oh, you know your name Cyril's actually a derivative of Kyrillos."

"I hope you die."

"Why so hostile? All I did was report on the black market trade you were apart of that occurred back in 2000. I mean, if anything, you should be glad I'm shedding light on the poachers who kidnapped and sold-"

"And now my origin is public knowledge."

"And it's oh so justified, you fluffy little blackmailing acolyte."

Cyril glares as the man set up the pieces. Having your past exposed was one of the things Rebelle, had told him was one of the worst things that could happen to a blackmailer. While she naturally listed plenty of countermeasures, Cyril had been unable to implement any, mainly because there were now greater forces against him than before, notably the organization, ILU, which Rebelle used to be affiliated with. ILU had once been one of the largest shadow organizations in the world, but just one year ago, it completely collapsed, mainly due to having many of its key members killed. As such, ILU was a shell of it's former self, though some of it's surviving members like Ginji Inohara, were desperately trying to rebuild it.

"I still think you all lost your heads when you deemed Madam Rebelle a traitor," Cyril glared.

"Then why not a quick game. You win, I'll admit we were wrong about her. You lose, you become my dinner," Ginji mused as he flashed his DESPER.

"In that case, you get a death by a thousand paper cuts when you lose."

"I'd be a monkey's bum if I lost, which is why I won't," Ginji sneered as he pocketed his DESPER.

Cyril nodded and began the game by moving his pawn to e4, while Ginji opted for moving his pawn to g6. Cyril knew about Ginji's preference for the modern defense though, and followed up with bishop to c4. Ginji fianchettoed his bishop to g7 and Cyril began an attack by moving his queen to f3. Ginji paid it no heed, and moved his pawn to e6, but after Cyril moved his pawn to d4, he began to chuckle.

"You play the Monkey's Bum? Oh, you really are a monkey," he sneered as he captured the pawn at d4 with his bishop.

"As a fuck you to you," Cyril retorted as he moved his knight to c3.

"My, how offensive. Pretty sure us ILU folks helped make you and your traitorous master the blackmailers you are today. Oh hold on, let me CHECK my records. Hmm, ah right. You're more like a washed up blackmailer now that Rebelle's dead," Ginji sneered as he captured the knight at c3 with his bishop.

"I'm only struggling because you refuse to acknowledge your mistakes. And isn't ILU now just a shell of it's former self? Must be if you're now one of the heads," Cyril scoffed as he captured said bishop with his queen.

"Oi, harsh words. Guys got feelings too," Ginji chuckled as he moved his pawn to f6.

Cyril went silent and moved his knight to f3 while Ginji moved his knight to h6. Cyril seized on the blunder and promptly captured said knight with his bishop as Ginji nervously moved his knight to c6.

"Oi, give me a break. I just played against my good friend, Mr. Zieglar. He's no slouch you know."

"Why would I go easy on you?" Cyril snarled as he moved his pawn to e5.

"Uh, for old time's sake?" Ginji shrugged as he captured said pawn with his f-pawn.

Cyril responded by glaring and slamming his bishop down on g5, leaving Ginji with no choice but to move his knight to e7 or lose his queen. He naturally chose the former, allowing Cyril to capture the pawn at e5 with his knight.

"Ahahaha! Now I can get away with a castle!" Ginji laughed as he castled king's side.

Cyril rolled his eyes and moved his knight to g4 as Ginji moved his pawn to h5.

"Now time to check something with you," Cyril glared as he moved his knight to f6.

"Hmm? Whazat?" Ginji mockingly asked as he slid his king to f7.

"You activate that DESPER?" Cyril glared as he castled queen's side.

Ginji blinked for a few seconds before clapping like an idiot. "Oh bravo! Three cheers for the monkey's bum! He got it!" he mockingly cheered while stealthily moving his pawn to c5.

"Did you really NOT activate it!?" Cyril glared as he captured the pawn at e6 with his bishop.

"Well... Uh... Um.. Haha."

Ginji struggled to find a response as he nervously captured the bishop at e6 with hos d-pawn, allowing Cyril to mercilessly capture his queen at d8 with his rook. Ginji naturally captured said rook with his own rook, but Cyril didn't care and moved his queen to e5.

"Now, wait, wait, wait, wit- Achk, I bit my tongue! Hold on, let's think this out a bit. You wouldn't kill me, would you?" Ginji nervously smiled as he moved his pawn to b6.

"I would, since Madam Rebelle would," Cyril glared as he moved his knight to e4.

"So loyal. But ILU can't just admit we were wrong, even internally. We got our pride and reputation you know," Ginji nervously chuckled as he moved his bishop to a6.

"ILU's effectively dead. Everyone's been wiped out, and the only ones left are incompetent clowns like you," Cyril glared as he moved his queen to f6.

"Come on, come on. Clowns can be viscous you know. And they say fools get the last laugh," Ginji nervously chuckled as he moved his king to e8.

"Then I hope you were an idiot and activated that thing. Checkmate," Cyril glared as he captured the knight at e7 with his queen, winning the game.

Ginji suddenly began trembling as his eyes began bulging. "No, NO! I'M GOING TO DIE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ... Just kidding! I never activated it."

"Figured. You were playing far too lax. Now be off with you," Cyril snarled as he leaped away.

Ginji gazed up and smirked as he dusted off his coat. "ILU's in tatters, huh? Well that ain't wrong. But now that DESPERs are more mainstream, perhaps maybe I can rebuild it. But then again, I have friends in Deep Blue places," he chuckled to himself.

The full game:

White: Cyril Milverton (2499) Black: Ginji Inohara (2722)

1. e4 g6

2. Bc4 Bg7

3. Qf3 e6

4. d4 Bxd4

5. Nc3 Bxc3+

6. Qxc3 f6

7. Nf3 Nh6

8. Bxh6 Nc6

9. e5 fxe5

10. Bg5 Ne7