Why?

Why am I even living? Why can’t I let go? I don’t do anything worthwhile. I’m essentially a hikikomori who’s forced to go to school. I don’t even know what’s going on with myself anymore. What’s worse is what’s lost. I used to be the person I dream of being now. It hurts, it really hurts. I wonder why I live but there’s no reason to die either.

I'm not essential, I can't even be dramatic without guilt, I can't even cry anymore. What am I? 

I'm just a piece of flesh floating through life.