WATASHI GA SHINDA HI/THE DAY I DIED.DAI ICHI BU/PART 1.

SAKURA

"Just for once,finish the whole of her life!Don't run away and pretend you can do all of it like she did!It always ends up for the worse...."

The voice...
She sounds so pained like...like she knows she will not be heard,that weeping away would be more profitable than trying to talk to me.As if she has done so already and i feel as though strangely that she has.

Strange.
But as much as i do not wish to watch more of the awful happenings of my grandmother i suppose i should not ignore this feeling i have growing inside.
Saying..

No more.
Simply,no more.


NICHIBOTSU

I use my winged allies,my only friends truly to bear witness for me.

I can't go there again and watch his death before my eyes as i had the first time through it is more than enough power of pure heartache to strengthen me but i just can't....not again.

I will wait,he hated that i saw his fall the first many times.

"Soon enough you will not ever bleed.Soon enough you will have a family that will reverie your every effort and a wife that will be every need accomplished for your heart,body and mind....My little flower child you too will live again without any failing of happiness.I swear it."

SAKURA
Final day of month 1

I have seen more years of trauma in days or hours...i do not even know what it is now that my mind is becoming a mess of many lives lived and re lived over and over again.

The death though of that man.
I never really even get to know him he is there and gone in little moments of her memories and they feel so one sided(obviously I suppose)but I wonder if she ever really noticed how he became so.....

Tired.
Like he had no desire to even exist,like she was adding it on to him.

That first time he lived,he was vibrant alive and true but all the others he just became more and more quiet and trying to escape but couldn't.

Now though it is the first time he died that I am seeing,on repeat for whatever reason and it makes heart somehow burn,like I am feeling it for the first time with my grandmother and the fear I have been fighting against feeling is coming up and alive in me for the hundredth time now about him...

Noroi.

Watching this grief riddled warrior die before my eyes as though I were there hurts me so much that I wonder how my grandmother made it through it all with any of herself remaining at all.


Nichibotsu
1572

The men will not guide me anywhere!

"WHERE ARE YOU!"

I am screaming now,I can't escape this awful feeling in my bones.
Why why why why...why could you not listen to me Naga.
Why?

I told you that the men would not allow it,they already think you are a devil for claiming rite to the them at all no matter if Nobunga himself has told them you are going to lead them,calling you some kind of shaman or magician...

Where are you?
I am trying to call out but instead feel like if I am any louder I will be found out so I stay lower than I had been to reach where Nobunga said Akechi would run to and he is right,almost perfectly right and I do find him.

My golden shadow covered in crimson,the body of his father on the ground and a young man by as well who Naga lets run away,no sets free.

The moment when he turns to me my knees are weak from the force of such pain.Like he has become a crumbled rock that has finally utterly broken apart.