Track 02 - The Dark of the Matinée

“I think you should be a race car driver!”

“Yeah? I’m too young to drive a car, though, anyway! All that’s grown up stuff! I’m happy with just you! Do you want to go to the bakery next? or the robot combat zone?

The alien furrowed its brow in concern. “But Jun, aren’t you always saying you can’t sit still and that your legs get itchy if you stay in one place? If you became a race car driver, you’d be moving all the time! Then, you’ll be all better! No itchy legs! And you’ll be able to put all your energy into making friends! It’ll be even easier with a cool car, too.”

I thought about it for a second. Ufi was often right about these things. This explanation, one forged in all of five minutes as I played with my model city fashioned from bits and pieces my mother found in local pawn shops, or things that were gifted by friends, was one that seemed plausible. “Do you have any friends, Ufi?

“Yep! Lots! We’re part of his super secret team that travels the galaxy stealing treasure and stuff! Where I'm from they call us the Crusaders!” Ufi said this with a high degree of satisfaction, and when he did, he spun around to suddenly be wearing a trench coat and a newsboy hat.

“Isn’t stealing bad?”

Ufi shrugged. “Depends who you're stealing from. We still from the people with money and then we give it to people that don't have any, so that means it's good!” That seemed right to me. Mother and father were always saying that we should share our things with people who need them, so it seemed only right that they do it in space too. “And um, well.”

“Hmmmm?”

I felt my face go hot as I curled up and buried my head in my pyjamas. It was so difficult to talk about the fact that I didn't have any friends. Everyone around us was telling my mother and father that by now I should be invited to parties or playdates, but I never was.

I always ended up getting it wrong. I would get so excited about talking to someone that I would run up to them and yell about all of my favourite things in their face at once, and it would scare them away. It was like there was a great spinning thing inside of me hurtling, wanting to get out. A great, destructive anticipation for something I didn't know I was expecting.

“I decked out Minato in the playground today.”

“Minato? The popular one? That big guy who's friends with all the boys in your class?”

“Yeah…”

Ufi said down, his chin resting on his hands, eyes fixated on me. “Why did you do that? More importantly, how? He's got like an army of henchmen or something! How did you get close enough?

“I wanted to talk to them about Capsummon! I got a rare Funkey in a pack and wanted to tell them! I was only gonna talk to them for five minutes and then I would go! I thought…I thought that because they like Capsummon too! We could talk about it and…but…then!

“But that’s not what happened?”

I shook my head.

“And what happened instead was that you got angry and them for barging into a group you were not invited to, and yelled at them? Even if it was an accident?”

I slumped down the sofa, defeated. “I thought that if we could talk about something we like then we could be friends! That’s what everyone else does! They can just walk up to someone and say, ‘I like soccer,’ and they just talk about soccer and then they’re friends! But when I try to do it, I can’t! And then I get all sweaty and feel sick, and they laugh and walk away from me! And then! Because I! So they!”

Ufi had to defend themselves from accidental blows caused by my erratic hands. He stayed silent and patient until they stopped and then placed his hands firmly on my shoulders. “I just wanna have one single friend,” I told him, “Then I can be happy.”

Ufi joined me in being seated low against the sofa. “That’s why we have to get the speed out of you buddy. You've got this thing inside you that isn't going to stop moving, and since you can't get rid of it, you have to catch up to it.”

“How do I do that? I don't have the money to buy a car.”

Ufi smiled brightly, “I’ve been trying to tell you! Become a race car driver, be the fastest person alive, and then you'll be able to outrun anything, and the speed will never be able to catch you! Trust me, the next time you feel dizzy, just run! It doesn't matter whether you're at school, or at home, or at a friend's house, run! Run and don't stop running until you feel better.”

I could feel the nervous energy bubble up inside me. I decided to test Ufi and rapidly jogged on the spot. I almost fell backwards in surprise when the palpitations vanished and the nervous twitching ended almost immediately. Unlike before, they did not return. I waited ten minutes, twenty, thirty.

My body was still. I cried into Ufi’s fur.

“It’s all right Jun, it’s okay. I’m here.” His teddy bear hand caressed my back. “You just have to move. Never stop moving. Always look forward, and you’ll be fine. As of now the old Jun Miyamoto is dead. The new Jun is gonna run all around the world!

I hugged Ufi tight, tears bursting forth like that time I flooded the bathroom after leaving the tap on before school.

“I’m gonna be faster than everyone!”

“Yep! And when you finally feel like it, you can get all the energy you have and destroy all of them too!”

***

If you didn't know how to find Free Home before you went looking, you would never find it. A small and unassuming venue, snuggly nestled between a trendy clothing store and an upmarket sushi restaurant. There were no markings to show that it was there. In fact, the only clue that something unusual might be happening was the middle school boy dressed as a Kamen Rider preaching about the end of the world.

Everybody liked Ichi.

He wasn’t there that evening, having been replaced by your run-of-the-mill hobo asking for change. I gave him one hundred yen.

Stepping inside Free Home was like night and day. As soon as you got past the thick, soundproofed door, you were greeted with a spectacle of light and sound unlike anything in Japan. People of all colours of every spectrum you can think of coupled with the most gaudy mixture of holiday decorations. Christmas lights on the ceiling, Hanukkah candles used for lighting the way to the bathroom. I liked the army of blowup dolls that guarded the green room best.

Who knew that Santa Claus, Cyndi Lauper and Dr Evil from the Austin Powers movies was the super team we needed?

“Mama! Mama-san, it’s me! Vodka lime soda on the rocks!” An elegantly dressed woman emerged from the back of the bar. Dressed in a black-and-white vintage cocktail dress and looking like she could bench press a house, Mama gave off a distinct Marlene Dietrich vibe, if Marlene Dietrich could also kill you with one punch.

“June-bug darling! It's so wonderful to see you! How are you doing? Well, I hope. Is everything okay…you know?”

I shrugged. “So-so.”

“Ah, I’ll get you two, okay handsome?”

“Greatly appreciated, thank you.” I planted two kisses on her cheeks, and she giggled before drifting back behind the bar before emerging a few seconds later with my drinks.

“I must say June-bug, I am so very proud of you! I'm so happy to see you out and about, angel. I was worried I would have to visit.”

"I can handle myself, Mama.”

“I'm not for a moment suggesting that you can't! It's just that I heard about it, the discussion? At Danny's. It couldn't have been easy for you.”

I stared at her blankly. “Hm? It's okay, Tatsuya is gonna Tatsuya. He's a dick, but I'm sure we'll patch things up. Are they here?”

“The others?”

“Yeah.”

Of course, baby cakes. They're in the green room, but why-”

“Why didn't you tell me? I need to go get set up.”

“Pardon?”

I made my way towards the green room. Mama followed me, desperately trying to say something. But I was too focused, it was like Daiki said, we just needed to have a good show and everything would be put behind us. I'm a hard worker, I know I am.

I trust Daiki.

I opened the green room door to find Tatsuya at the opposite end of the room at his drum set. As soon as he noticed I was there, he slammed his sticks down onto the floor and rose abruptly from his seat.

“What the fuck are YOU doing here?”