Chapter 3: Mao’s Soliloquy

After the sun had set, Mao returned home, lifted her bag, and slammed it onto the bed.
She set the bag down on the floor after it bounced slightly, then sat down on the edge of the bed.

—I like you.

Even though it had taken her that much effort just to say those three words, she had piled on several times as many words afterward and ended up saying things that didn’t even make sense.

She buried her face in the pillow and shouted, “Idiot!”
She cried for a little while like that, then pushed herself upright.

What lingered in her ears were Haruka’s words.
—I like you.
She had been so overwhelmingly happy that she’d lost her sense of reality.
Even though she had properly said, “Me too.”

—This is how you do it.
Those few words were the cruelest thing she had heard in her entire life so far.

Should she have done the same thing to Haruka, right there and then?
—No way I could.

“There were only the two of us, so you should’ve known who I meant!”
The words slipped out as a shout before she realized it.

What kind of face was she supposed to greet Haruka with starting tomorrow?
Would Haruka even be willing to talk things through?

Even if it was just asking for advice, being able to talk at all made her happy.
But the topic itself was something trivial—what she should do about her relationship with Nezu-kun.

It’s not that Nezu-kun did anything wrong, she added silently in her mind.

She picked up the toy shaped like a cat teaser that sat by her pillow, and when she flicked the tip with her finger, it swayed gently.
Ever since she was a child, she’d found herself staring at it whenever something happened.
As she followed the swaying tip with her eyes, her fingers and nails began to move without her realizing it.
Each time the motion seemed about to settle, she flicked it again—over and over, again and again.

By the time she noticed, quite a bit of time had passed, but her mind had calmed.
Next time, I’ll talk to her properly.
Next time, I’ll tell her how I really feel.

“Haruka-san, I like you.”
Say it clearly.
So that next time, she could get a proper answer.

—Because surely, it wouldn’t turn out worse than it is now.