Popping Pills Piled

I turned in bed, the sheet rolling with me. I untangled my legs and got free. When my eyes moved to the side, Ai-chan sat at the edge of the bed. Suddenly she flopped next to me. The fabric didn't move. The pillow didn't press. Her short hair spread across my pillow, and for a moment, I really hoped she would leave her scent behind or her warmth.

But.

But she doesn't have those things.

She turned to me with a teasing smile. Sora. How are you feeling?

I didn't answer because she knew it already. We stayed like that for some time. My heart pounded in my chest. She chuckled and turned onto her back. Neither of us spoke. I think we spent an hour that way. Maybe more. Maybe less.

There was a loud thud from outside. I looked at Ai-chan and she looked at me. We knew what it meant.

She glanced at the door and sat down slowly, getting out of bed. I didn't realise that I was following her until I was standing beside her.

I turned the knob and opened the door. She peeked out from behind me.

The house was quiet. Even though Grandma cleaned the place, the darkness from the step-being was slowly filling the house. I looked at the roof where the dark fog swirled softly.

I stepped out. The floor creaked under my foot. For a second I thought it was the step-being, but then it struck me that it was the loose floorboard.

Ai-chan and I stood in the lounge. It was empty. On the table in front of me were onigiri, miso soup, and boiled eggs. I walked closer to the food and pressed my fingers on the onigiri. It was cold.

I looked around. No one was there. Next to the plate, I noticed a small paper.

Eat your lunch. We went to visit the neighbours.

My eyes stayed glued to the paper. I was waiting for the words to spill out, but to my surprise, nothing happened. I turned to the clock. It said three. 'It must be broken. '

The minute hand moved, making me almost jump. I blinked and then mumbled, "What about the breakfast?"

My stomach growled. I sat down and picked up the chopsticks. They still had that pattern from before. I took a bite from the onigiri and tasted the soup. Sadly, the rice was hard, and the soup was maybe cold. But I didn't care; I only ate.

Something smelt delicious. The aroma had filled the room. When I finished eating, I took my dishes to the kitchen. On the stove sat a pot of stew. I lifted the lid, the aroma curling around my nose while the liquid bubbled. I stirred it once and walked out.

I walked down the hallway and stopped near a door. It was Grandpa's room. I opened it. The air had his smell, an old, nostalgic smell. I didn't know what I wanted to do or what I was looking for.

His glasses. Ai-chan walked in behind me.

I quickly opened the drawer where I thought he kept the spectacles. But my hand found a bottle instead. Sleeping pills.

Rubbing my thumb along the plastic, I carried it out of the room. After some time I was back at the table. The plates were gone. I think I carried them back to the kitchen.

My gaze darted back at the clock when I noticed Ai-chan was missing. I stood up looking for her, and then I found her.

She stood in the kitchen and held the bottle directly above the stew. A drop of water from the tap fell on the plate in the sink. I slowly approached and stopped next to her.

A pill from the bottle dropped in.

Her purple hair bounced as she faced me. Sleeping will calm down the step-being.

I blinked.

The bottle was in my hand right above the stew. A tremor rose in my body as I tried to pull away.

Another pill dropped in.

I stared at my hand. It was mine. It was moving, but I wasn't the one moving it. My lips quivered as I forced out, "Stop."

Another pill.

"Stop."

Another.

I grabbed the hand holding the bottle and tried to pull it away. As I did so, the bottle fell into the stew and disappeared under the surface. My body stiffened.

I reached for the bottle, but the steam burnt, or maybe it froze. Either way, my hand jerked away. The stew gurgled with the pills floating on the surface and bubbles popping around them. Slowly the pills began disappearing.

My knees hit the floor. I didn't remember falling.

'If they eat this—' My breath hitched.

Ai-chan titled her head. It's fine. They deserve it anyway. It's not as if they care about you.

I stood and grabbed the pot handle. It burnt, but I didn't let go. I tilted it over the sink, and the liquid poured out with steam circling me. The mixture was grey and lumpy. I could see the vegetables gathering at the base. But the pills were already gone.

After a while I stood with the empty pot in my hands. I stared into it. My right hand was red where the handle had burnt, but it wasn't hurting. Instead, my mark felt like it was heating up.

Ai-chan stood near the door, her hair cast over her eyes.

The bottle was somewhere in the sink. Under the water. I reached for it and took it to my room. I couldn't let them find it. If they found it, they would know.

I sat on my bed, and Ai-chan sat beside me. I clasped my hands over my eyes. "D-don't do that again."

She looked at me blankly. Don't do what?

"Don't—" My voice stopped. I didn't know how to say it.

'Don't use my hands.'

'Don't possess me like you did to Kaito.'

'Dont scare me.'

I didn't say any of it. She nodded like she understood. Like she agreed. I didn't know if she did or not. I kept staring at the floor while she swung her legs.

I don't know how long passed. Time moved strangely again and then...

The front door opened. I could hear voices filling the air. First, Grandma's. She was laughing and joking about something. Then I heard Grandpa's low voice. He mumbled something.

I heard a few more voices before it all quietened.

Then...

"Where's the stew?"

Pause.

"I left it on the stove."

A longer pause ensued, as footsteps emerged from the kitchen. Many many footsteps.

"Haru", Grandpa's voice. Not loud but flat. He was talking to her. His voice rose and rose, and then, "Why does he always do things like this?"

"Because we left him, maybe..."

"Mother, let me talk to him." The new voice joined in. I believe it belonged to my father.

Everything fell silent when the banging started.

"Sora. Open this door," my father's voice. His voice was so different and yet so familiar. I could hear Grandpa in his tone.

"Kuya. This is why we called you back," my grandma spoke.

I didn't move. I decided to think about how weird their voices were. They were mad. They were sad. But I was bad.

More banging. "Sora."

Ai-chan sat on my bed. Watching me. I looked at her.

"Sora."

The sounds wouldn’t stop. My fingers twitched as I pulled the blanket over my head. The banging continued. Over and over. The same rhythm. The same voices.

"Ai-chan, make it stop!"

She didn't answer.

But the banging stopped. Maybe she did it... I did believe she would. I stayed under the blanket. The room was dark. Ai-chan was still here. I could feel her coldness.

I didn't look at her. I didn't know what time it was. I didn't know if it was still today. I didn't know anything.

Ai-chan.

Make it faster.

The clock moved. I watched it from under the blanket. Minute by minute. Hour by hour. She was doing it. The light outside changed. The light changed from grey to orange and then black.

"Why were they banging? I saved them." I finally looked at Ai-chan.

They don't know.

Thud.

I sat up.

"Sora. It's Dad.” The knob turned, stopped, then moved again. “Can you open this?"

I remained silent. I shook my head as if he could see past the door.

"Why did you spill the stew?" His voice seemed tired, not mad, just tired. I wanted to tell him, but he wouldn't believe me.

"Sora. I am trying. I am really trying with you. You should try too."

'I am trying too.'