It's Not Easy Being a Queen

“Let the plaintiff Nanni and the defendant Ea-Nasir step forward!”

The herald’s voice echoed through the vast colonnaded hall and audience chamber.

A stout, hunchbacked merchant with a scraggly beard, and a slender young woman clad in purple, approached the throne.

Queen Dido sat there with perfectly straight posture, her long chestnut hair falling in soft waves over her shoulders.

Her elegant, off-the-shoulder gown shimmered in delicate shades of pink and violet, the fabrics soft and flowing against her slender frame.

When she opened her large, luminous green eyes, the entire court fell silent in collective reverence.

“She is the wisest and most far-sighted ruler there has ever been…” someone murmured in the crowd.

“We are truly blessed to have such a queen!”

A court official cleared his throat as he lifted one of the large clay tablets from a stack and read aloud.

“The plaintiff Nanni accuses the defendant Ea-Nasir of having delivered copper ingots of inferior quality, despite having repeatedly assured her of their excellence beforehand. She demands restitution. Furthermore, he allegedly treated her messenger poorly when he attempted to settle the matter…”

“She paid for the copper far too late!” Ea-Nasir protested at once, loudly.

But Nanni fired back immediately.

“You fat, lying bastard! The silver was already with you, and you still stripped my messenger of his provisions and sent him back into the desert!”

She turned toward the queen, who was still listening with an unchanged expression.

“He already pulled the same stunt in Mesopotamia! I honestly don’t know why I ever agreed to trade with him here again, I thought maybe he’d changed…”

Ea-Nasir folded his arms.

“Perhaps my copper isn’t of such poor quality after all. Maybe that’s the issue!”

“It most certainly is not! I want my money back!”

“Make me!”

Before the two could come to blows, the guards dragged them apart.

“SILENCE!” the court official thundered at last, before turning to his queen. “Your Majesty, how do you wish to proceed in this matter?”

Dido closed her eyes, and the faint crease over her nose twitched almost imperceptibly.

The entire court gazed at their graceful queen in collective awe, as she was clearly contemplating the complicated trade dispute.

Only her handmaiden Eshmunet, who stood directly beside her throne, could sense her mistress’s heartbeat quicken.

She knew exactly what was going on inside her.

“My lady, your smile is twitching…” she whispered very softly, unheard by any other ears.

A vein became visible at Dido’s neck.

Again?! I have to listen to this sort of trivial nonsense AGAIN?! Yesterday it was fighting over goats, the day before it was that cabbage dispute, and now this? I am a queen, for Melquart’s sake! I meant to forge an empire here, instead, I'm drowning in bureaucratic drudgery!

She forced herself to breathe in and out calmly.

Then she opened her eyes again and straightened, speaking in a clear, authoritative voice.

“The delivered copper shall be examined by an independent assessor. Should any impurities be ascertained, the silver is to be repaid in full. The costs of the examination shall be borne by the losing party.”

For a moment, there was silence.

Then thunderous applause erupted throughout the colonnaded hall.

“She is so wise!”

“She is so far-sighted!”

“A true blessing, a true blessing!!”

Dido merely sighed and turned to the court official.

“Very well, Reganobal, if there is nothing further to decide, I shall retire to my...”

“Well…” the elderly official said hurriedly, “…there are still the numerous marriage proposals from princely sons that you continue to leave unanswered. Perhaps you might...”

But she had already seized her handmaiden by the wrist, hurrying off with her before he could finish.

“What’s that, Eshmunet? You have something urgent to show me? Then by all means, let me come with you at once!”

“B-but my lady…” Eshmunet stammered, startled as she was dragged along by Dido.

🏛️🏛️🏛️

Once inside her chambers, Dido slammed the heavy door shut and bolted it, then slid down against it with a sigh.

Eshmunet stood nervously before her mistress, her hands folded in the lap of her pale violet dress, which resembled that of a priestess of Eshmun.

Her shoulder-length silvery hair fell smoothly beneath the delicate headpiece she wore, and her large, violet eyes looked faintly worried in her pale, round face.

“Marriage proposals…” Dido repeated plaintively. “Carthage isn’t even close to becoming what I want it to be, and already they’re trying to match me with some idiotic princeling just to get their hands on my land! Can you believe it, Esh?”

Her handmaiden searched for the right words.

“Well, a queen does need a king…”

“Don’t you start as well, Esh!” Dido lamented. “Where exactly is it written that a queen can't simply rule alone?”

“That’s not what I meant, my lady…”

Dido buried her head in her drawn-up knees.

“It’s not as though I wouldn’t like to meet someone...” Her face flushed red at the thought and she broke off, gathering herself before continuing. “It’s just that all the guys here are so unbelievably incompetent! I simply cannot stand that sort of man…”

Eshmunet listened as she always did, even though this was a subject she herself knew little about and thus could offer little help.

My poor lady. I shall pray to Astarte that she sends her a capable man worthy of her.

Shortly thereafter, a knock sounded against the heavy chamber doors.

Dido sprang up in alarm and hastily composed herself before opening the door in her usual regal posture.

It was the same court official as before.

“Reganobal, what is it now? I told you I have no time for...”

“My apologies, my lady, but the fleet of the Trojans has been wrecked upon your shores.”

Dido’s eyes widened.

“The fleet of the… Trojans?”

“Or rather what remains of it. They appear to have been caught in a severe storm.”

“Who leads them?” the queen asked immediately, as quick as thought.

“A young prince of Troy, named Aeneas.”

“Aeneas…” Dido repeated the name, and something sparkled in her eyes. “Send them aid and assist in the recovery. I wish to receive this Aeneas at my court.”

Reganobal nodded and took his leave with a bow before she closed the door again.

“A Trojan prince?” Eshmunet echoed, puzzled. “I thought Troy was destroyed by the Achaeans?”

Her queen nodded.

“It was.”

She rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

“Aeneas of Troy…”

Then something gleamed in her eyes and she seized her startled handmaiden’s hands, a broad grin spreading across her lips.

“You know what, Esh? I believe I may meet a truly capable man, after all!”

Eshmunet swallowed.

“Oh my!“