Life's Unyielding Cycle

Just like our world has four seasons, life also has multiple seasons. For me specifically, the spring season is my favorite. It's a season of beauty. The beautiful Sakura blossoms growing on the trees, some even falling and covering the roads and the entire surrounding areas. Families gathering, and all around it's just peace and smiles.

One thing that we don't notice about spring is that it's also a season of growth. Flowers grow and bloom beautifully after falling in the autumn season. Teenagerhood is also the same as spring. We go through different physical and emotional changes. We grow and bloom just like the alluring Sakura blossoms. Although not all of us bloom. There are some exceptional ones among us who take all the spotlight.

Spring also brings along a new session of school. It was the day of the entrance ceremony. I was not particularly excited. My relationship with my parents, more specifically my father, had deteriorated to such an extent that even though we lived under the same roof, we wouldn't even meet eye to eye or talk to each other.

The last time we chatted was when I graduated middle school. Calling it a chat would be me being overly optimistic. In particular, it was just a few words of confirmation of my graduation.

"Hmm! Graduation. Where do you plan on applying for high school?"

"That's none of your business, father."

He didn't say anything more after that. If I'm being honest, I expected him to give a harsh response. I was being very disrespectful. I was pretty pissed off at him. By this point, I hated him a lot.

I had to endure bullying on a daily basis. The one thing that made me smile the most was now the thing that took every bit of it away. I had thrown away everything I had written down. Maybe he did realize how I felt, that's why he didn't respond, or he simply dismissed it as a rebellious phase.

The morning sun coming through my window. The sun rays striking my face. Sounds of feathers whirring outside my window while the birds chirped loudly. An indication to wake up before I get late on the first day itself.

Did you ever think that getting off the bed also required a lot of effort, or was I just too lazy? I, for once, hated waking up early.

The loud ringing of the alarm echoed in my head continuously till I silenced it. Following traditions, I didn't get off the bed. I fell from it. I fixed my bed and then went to change.

Heading downstairs, I knew I had to face him again. I wasn't afraid of him, but I could never bring myself to say my true feelings. As of this moment, I was running in the horse race we call the ordinary route of life. Going to school, then applying for a good college, then a good job. No innovations at all.

Sitting down on the dining table, he was holding his newspaper as usual. Both of us didn't want the other to say anything. The silence was deafening. I ate quietly and then stood up to leave.

A voice called out to me. It was my mother.

"Take care and enjoy your day."

I didn't bother to reply. Even when my mother wasn't involved, I just didn't want to admit I was acting like a spoiled brat.

I put on my blazer and left for the ceremony.

I'm used to taking my diary with me since the last year of middle school. It's the only place which contains my true feelings, but it also contains something more. In those two years, I had stopped writing. However, some days I did try to write again. I wrote a little, around two pages. But I was constantly disturbed by the recollections of those days. Those sounds of laughing and name-calling still echoing in my head.

So I never messed with it again. It just stays there like an abandoned child or a murderer looking for salvation.

Reaching the school grounds, I couldn't just walk away without admiring the sight in front of me. They were covered in a blanket of Sakura blossoms. Not the entire ground, but one part of it was fully covered. Students taking pictures around it. Friends laughing and cracking jokes. They probably knew each other from the time they spent in middle school.

As for me, I deliberately chose a high school which was far away from my house and middle school. I had to make sure no one recognized me from before. I needed to start afresh. Find a new purpose in life. If it's not fulfilling the dream I pursued earlier, there must be some other reasoning for my existence. And spring is the best time to find that reasoning.

The large board at the gate spelling "Entrance Ceremony," the school building decorated with ribbons, volunteers leading the freshmen towards the gymnasium. Some were walking silently, while some indulged in gossip already.

There was this group of three girls who were constantly gossiping loudly behind me. I thought I should call them out, but I didn't want to stand out again and get a new wound. Unfortunately, I did hear their words.

"Hey! Hey! Clara, Karen, do you remember Hana?"

"Hana? Who was that again?"

"Aoi Hana! You know, that so-called popular princess of our school."

"Ahhhh! Not her again. I thought I would never hear her name again."

They said together.

"Listen! Listen! There have been some rumors running wild about her."

"What's so new about that?"

"Yeah, what's so new about that? They were circulating even in middle school."

"There was one which said she was dating the third-year senior Kirito."

"Though they all turned out fake in the end."

"You guys just trust me on this one. These are basically confirmed."

"They say she has become a delinquent."

"Delinquent? Huh? Why would someone who has so much fame become a delinquent?"

"I don't know, but it's confirmed she has been acting like a delinquent."

"Partying in clubs. Dating bad boys. Some even said she was seen hanging out with the yakuza."

"Heh! I always had this eerie feeling that something was wrong with this girl."

"Yeah, same here."

"Wait guys, there is one more rumor circulating."

"Can't be any worse than this, right?"

"She might be attending our school."

"WHAT!"

The shout was so intense one could have heard it from miles away.

Before they continued chitchatting, one of the volunteers went up to them.

"I request all three of you misses to please move towards the gymnasium as the ceremony is about to begin."

They lowered their heads and silently nodded.

If what they were saying about that delinquent girl attending our school was true, there would be chaos coming our way sooner than we could even expect it.

I entered the gymnasium and took my seat. What followed next was the same old boring speech given at every high school by the principal. He mainly said to love and respect your peers. To work together and enjoy our time here.

The second it ended, I went out to check the class list. To see where I ended up.

I ended up in Class 3.

The one name that was shining brighter than the others.

Those three girls were also looking at it.

At the very top of Class 2.

It was Aoi Hana.

At the very least, I was grateful I didn't end up with a troublemaker.

Entering the classroom, first of all I checked my seat, which was according to our roll number. I had gotten the corner right seat, which was near the window.

Settling down, the class teacher entered.

"Kindly settle down everyone. Homeroom is beginning."

"I'm Miss Yuki. I'll be your class teacher. I will teach you Japanese literature."

I didn't bother paying attention to what she was saying. I was looking outside the window. The cool breeze still hitting its mark.

The homeroom ended. It was time for Japanese literature.

The one thing I used to love so much back then.

Now, even if the entire school would be enjoying it, I couldn't any longer.

While everyone was reading, I had the book open, but I was no longer indulged. I wasn't reading nor was I trying to understand it. I constantly kept peeking outside.

The atmosphere for me was so suffocating that I needed constant fresh air to breathe properly. Though I had to make sure that the teacher thought I was paying attention, so she didn't call me out and attract attention towards me.

The class went on, and then the ringing of the bell flooded the silent hallways, indicating the end of the lecture.

Miss Yuki announced some homework and then left.

One of the boys and a girl stood up.

"Everyone, let's introduce ourselves and get to know each other better."

"We only have a year. We might not end up together next year."

The silent classroom erupted into louder chatter.

I decided to leave quietly. I didn't want to get noticed or involved.

My seatmate noticed my intention.

I packed my bag.

The next lecture was in a different room.

His voice called out to me.

"Aren't you a hasty one? Not going to introduce yourself?"

"Already leaving?"

"Introduction is a self choice. I chose the easy way out."

"You're just trying to isolate yourself."

"I'm not isolating myself. I'm just avoiding unnecessary attention."

"You're an odd one for sure."

I left the room. Moreover, my absence wasn't noticed.

The rest of the day went by like normal. Nothing out of place happened.

It was late afternoon. Everyone started leaving for their homes. Some of them had already formed friend groups. They were going out for karaoke. Typical high schoolers.

I decided to stay longer for studying. Though in the name of studying, I was just avoiding going home.

Once I complete high school, I'm moving out.

After everyone left, I took out my diary and wrote about the day. From the beginning till the end of the school day.

Turning pages, I stumbled upon the two pages of story I had written in the last two years.

At that moment, nature called, and I left the diary on my seat.

Running to the bathroom as fast as I could. Relieving myself there.

Looking at myself in the washroom mirror, realizing the glow I once had on my face had vanished. The greyish-colored eye bags were clearly visible, specifying lack of sleep and too much stress.

Reaching back to class, my heart started beating rapidly. My panic increased.

At that time, I had no idea the unyielding cycle of life had brought me the person who was attached to the other end of my red string of fate.

It was her...