Hopeful turns into LOL.

Can a man every really be ready to talk to a woman.
Really?

I mean i am twenty four years old in advanced classes so i can become a doctor,do some good to help other people avoid the heartache of what my Grandpa and to be completely honest me and Dad too went through.

I don't want that for anyone,but right now i am on a sunday walk,pacing like i am about to tell bad news to a patient instead of just asking a girl out.
(I am likely a jerk to for the fact i am asking her out just after breaking up with Eriika....i am so dead,so dead.)

This building if it could speak would cry out how mad i am that i am pacing in front of it before anyone has even come in to work but i was so excited last night at just the thought of it,talking to her for longer than a tackle takes to connect.
I just want to be with her.

That is..
Until i actually see her.

My feet are faster than i have ever done on the treadmill in trying to escape being seen by her and her father who is climbing out slowly but with a gravity to him,like he knows how to use his stature,his manner to make you(meaning a heart racing fool like me.)so completely lost in the fear he creates with a look that I am losing my nerve that I guess I never really plucked up in my internal weed filled garden of dreams.

That dream being a cherry blossom dress wearing,heeled boot walking,pink lipstick adorned young woman that turns a simple act of getting out of a car and opening the front doors look like a show that should be produced and directed and thoroughly rewatched over and over again by me.

"Oh stop it!"

Myself argues pitifully against me and loses to another who makes a quick and frightening appearance so fast I jump out of my skin.

"If you are here to eat then eat until that skinny body of yours gets fat.Don't mind that.If you are here to just watch me climb out of my car I politely tell you to leave before my shoe finds a new resting place behind you.Wonderful in my mind,need new shoes anyway my darling tells me.If you are here to sniff her like the dog you are being right now by just standing there picturing filthy things like I know you are,I was young once too but that girl you are looking at is a joy and pure.No even before you try to lie.Don't.So choose wisely.Why are your here?"

Can hearts just stop and pop out?
Maybe if I am to become a doctor at some point I will need to figure that out,plus survive this encounter.

Here I am a grown man just as scared as when I first talked to Eriikas mom,she was like looking at a boxer who trained with her husband.
The best boxer in Japan he was,also how that daughter of his could slug me with such power like she did yesterday.

I stand up though and look this older man in the eye,try to keep my shoulders level and breathe in once before he looks at me like a weak failure of a man before time runs out.

"I came to-"
"To try out that new restaurant by us right?That place I saw you calling your girlfriend about?Dad let the guy alone,he has wooing to plan and not at me.Right?You are not interested in me."

Frozen.
Absolutely,completely frozen and still like a dead body I feel like right at this moment.

Even her father,that tall broad and looks like he could have trained samurai is a bit taken aback and even worse than that.

He looks like he actually felt bad.
FOR ME.

"I..I only came to...to talk to..."
"I figured,you needed someone to get advice from right?Absolutely,of course!I would do anything for you."

That princess is also such a thief.

Feet will not move but my eyes follow her as she enters the bakery,the wind picks up just as she turns to let me in behind her and her dad is somehow a cross between thrilled that I just got kind of shot down in a way but also like he felt a familiar sting.

"Just like your mother you are my dear daughter....Boy!"

Jumping I guess is on auto pilot for my future around him.

"Hands,Pocket.Face,UP.Eyes,Eyes.Curfew,Nine,after that six feet down and forgotten.Understood?"

I don't think I can compute a proper response except a nod,that was wrong move wrong wrong move.

"Yes sir,yes yes sir..."

He wags his head hard at me like his mercy might have been ill conceived but for whatever reason he seems to find watching my barely speaking sight to be absolutely amusing.


LATE

"Not that funny Dad."

Dad,he has a thunderous sort of laugh.
My mom said to her it was so adorable until they went to see comedy films together,just about any comedy he would laugh so hard  that the theater would almost have to escort them out if she didn't shove a cream bun in his mouth.

She is laughing at me now too,just a bit quieter and prepping a cream bun to shove in Dads mouth.

"Would you stop laughing at KenKen and try to-try to..."

Mom can't hold back either.
Dad matches her vibe and I just sigh and grab my offered stick of steak nearly tripping in my escape to get out of the house and into my car,being texted by them to come back all while sending me tons of laughing emojis.

"I will come home again when I have family that does not laugh at my misery!"

I lie,both are looking out the door laughing harder as I drive off trying to head back to the dorm in hopes I can calm down and evaluate how I went wrong.

How come that I got my best shirt.
One in fact that I have had any girls tell me made my have the whole v shape look perfectly.
My best jeans.
Butt check approved by said girls.
Even my usually messy hair I had pulled in a half ponytail to make my cheekbones and jaw show upon better.

"Liars..."

That is all I can think of those shop girls that were going to..

"Make sure she can not look elsewhere!We promise."

"Liars..."

I look in the passenger mirror and recall all the things she said like it were a song that the radio would not stop playing and it keeps skipping in one part.

"I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS!I will help you get yours too,mark my words that girl you are wooing will have no other choices but you after I am done.We will make a prince charming even more so and I will be like your fairy who gets its all done right.I am your girl!She will be yours forever."

If I could just scream maybe that would help but no.

Introverted quiet people don't yell,they brood so if she likes broody maybe I should...

Maybe I should?

"Idea,maybe put into action?"