Chapter 6

I glanced around as she stepped out of the door, but luckily, the hallway was empty.

‘No one is here. No one will see us’, I kept repeating in my head as I followed her down the hall.

She led us deeper into the mansion, and for a moment, I was confused about where she was taking us. I knew the main entrance was just over there, but I assumed she must know another one, or maybe she wanted to show me something along the way.

I wondered what lay behind all those closed doors we passed on our way. Classrooms? Staff rooms? Storage? I had no way of knowing, since none of the doors had labels. Finally, she opened a thick metal door, and we stepped outside. I took a deep breath, feeling fresh air filling my lungs, and looked around curiously.

We stood in a backyard, and a wide path opened before us, leading to what I guessed was another building I could see in the distance. The morning mist swirled above the grass, and in the distance I could see old pine trees still partially hidden in the haze. I shivered and zipped up my hoodie.

“Aren’t you cold?”

I gave her a glance, but she shook her head and smiled.

“I love it. It makes me feel alive and real!”

She began to dance in front of me, reaching out for me to join her, but I froze, the memories of last night flashing in front of my eyes at her words. She was so different now. Who was she? I didn’t dare to ask her for a name, feeling it wouldn’t be Xiaolian or Naomi.

Who was she…? And why? Despite her weirdness, I felt oddly safe in her company. She felt so familiar, so... I wish I could name the strange feeling growing in my chest, leaving me dizzy and weak, yet at the same time, in a weird way I’d never felt before, complete.

“You should try Yuna.”

I blinked as her voice broke my stream of thought, forcing me back into the chilly backyard. I took a deep breath and looked at her.

“Try what?”

“Be alive! Feel the grass under your feet and the wind in your hair. Be real.”

She smiled and took my hand before I had time to step back.

“It…It’s cold.”

I looked away, feeling dread just thinking about it. Even with the strange familiarity, being in her company was embarrassing. She let go of my hand and looked at the trees, trying to hide her disappointment. A pang of guilt shot through my chest. I shouldn’t be like this. Weren’t we friends after all?

“You know, Yuna, you are just like us.”

“What… what do you mean?”

I looked at her with rising panic as breathing suddenly became difficult and something began to tug at my chest, making my head spin.

I’d lost it a long time ago…. If only I knew what it was.

“What do you mean?!”

I gasped for air.

“It’s okay,” she said.

Her hand soothed my back, and she whispered,

“Be alive, be real, and I will tell you.”

No… My stomach twisted with nausea, and I gasped for air as my vision became blurry and the veil of light opened in front of my eyes.

“What are you doing here?!”

Farah’s voice cut through the air, and I opened my eyes, seeing her running towards us from the mist. Her dark tracksuit was damp with sweat, and her long hair was tied in a ponytail flailing behind her. Instinctively, I stepped behind Xiaolian.

“What are you doing?”

She halted in front of us, panting heavily, her forehead covered with sweat. She looked at us with a frown, and I shivered when her eyes met mine. Had they always been so yellow and intense?

“I am showing her around,” Xiaolian said flatly.

I looked at her, surprised by the tone of her voice, and I shivered seeing her face devoid of any emotions, just like she had been when I first met her.

“It is not your job!”

Farah’s frown deepened, and Xiaolian stepped back, lowering her head under her gaze.

“You are not any better, Yuna!”

Farah turned to me. I shivered as her eyes fell on me, but I held my ground despite the rising fear. Xiaolian was my friend. But Farah’s eyes looked like…

“Fine! I will show you around. If that’s what you wanted.”

She frowned and looked me up and down, and only then did I realise my hoodie and shoes were gone. I looked around, confused, and a wave of embarrassment flooded my mind, and I looked away, trying to hide my flushed face. What had happened? Where had they gone? My long hair fluttered in the wind at the slightest breeze, and I suddenly became aware of the cold, rough ground beneath my feet. I felt so exposed.

No… Why didn’t I wear my shoes anymore? My face flushed with embarrassment and bewilderment, and I tried to step back, wishing I could hide from her gaze, but she grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards her. I glanced at Xiaolian, but I only caught a glimpse of her back as she turned away and walked to the door, seemingly indifferent to my fate. But...we were friends…

I spotted my clothes lying on the ground next to the door, but Farah pulled my hand and began walking to one of the buildings in the distance.

“Let's go, I have other things to do than this.”

No... What if someone saw me like this? I glanced at Farah, trying to hide my vulnerability, but I was sure my flushed face gave it away. She still held my hand, but her grip softened. She did it on purpose…

Please, let no one see me. There must be people around, and Madame Faber… No… I shivered. I should run away, but somehow, I knew I would never outrun her, and my stomach tied into a knot when I thought about what would happen when she caught me.

By now, my feet were numb with cold, but that only made them more sensitive to the small pebbles lining the path. I started to limp as I tried to keep up with her pace.

To my relief, she stopped when another path crossed ours.

“Over there are the tracks and tennis courts, and the stables are to the left. You can see it on your watch too, but people get lost all the time. It is better to see it by yourself,” she added with a softer voice and let go of my hand.

Normally, I would have loved to go to the stables. I loved horses, but now I was just cold and embarrassed beyond reason, so I just quietly nodded at her words and looked ahead, and she followed my gaze.

“There are the sports facilities. There is a gym in the mansion as well, but over there you can do all the cool things.”

She smiled and continued walking, and I forced myself to follow her. She slowed down, adjusting her pace to mine, so walking became more bearable.

“Do you like sports?”

I looked at her, surprised. Why was she asking? She must have already known the answer. Why did she, out of nowhere, try to be nice to me? But my politeness prevented me from ignoring her question.

“I did fencing back in Japan. Foil. I was pretty good at it.”

Involuntarily, I smiled at those memories and asked,

“What about you?”

“Wrestling, but I never had enough time to be really good at it.”

I looked at her, surprised more by the fact that her frown had suddenly gone than by the sport she had chosen. Somehow, it suited her.

We halted in front of another old-looking building covered in creeping vines, and I looked at the heavy metal door. I hoped we would go back now.

“I can show you inside.”

I sighed and looked down as she opened the door without waiting for my reply, and I followed her inside.

I peered at the wide corridor with lockers on one side and a row of benches on the other when the door behind me closed with a loud clang, and darkness, illuminated only by the light from the window at the far end, hid all the details from my eyes.

Suddenly, Farah leaned towards me. I flinched at her unexpected proximity and she looked deep into my eyes and whispered,

“Have you had enough, Yuna?”

I shivered under her gaze and stepped back only to feel the cold wall behind me. She took a step towards me and reached out, and I recoiled as she brushed away a strand of hair from my cheek before reaching behind me and switching on the lights.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, okay?”, she said softly and stepped back, giving me some space to breathe. “So stay away from her.”

I looked at her, confused.

“W-why? What do you mean?”

She sighed and gave me a look.

“Just do it, okay? For your own good.”

I shivered, feeling exposed and vulnerable. The floor under my bare feet was freezing cold, and even if we were inside, it didn’t really change much after all the time I had been exposed to the elements.

“Yuna…”

Hesitantly, she took off her jacket and offered it to me.

“Just take it, okay?”

I looked at her, surprised, but she avoided my gaze. Should I refuse it? Why was she doing it? Did she want something from me, or did she really mean it? What had she meant when she said…?

“I’m trying to protect you, okay? I suck with people, I know.”

She still stood there with her jacket hanging from her outstretched hand as she spoke without looking at me. Suddenly, I felt sorry for her, and a pang of guilt shot through my chest. I took it and put it on. It was too big and smelt of mint and lavender.

“Thank you.”

I sat down on the bench and pulled my legs up, picking my feet off the freezing floor.

“Farah…”, I started, but my mind went blank.

Everything was so confusing. I couldn’t even formulate my thoughts into a question.

“Yeah…”

She leaned against the locker on the other side and looked at me.

“What... what does all of this mean?”

She looked at her watch.

“We should go back. It’s late already.”

“Farah... Please…”

She sighed.

“You have no reason to trust me, so you wouldn’t believe me anyway.”

“Try,” I challenged her, but she shook her head.

“No, it would only make it worse. And now I've screwed up again. I’m no good with people.”

Her shoulder slouched, and she looked away.

“We should be going. Can you walk back?”, she asked softly.

What other choice did I have? I only hoped no one had noticed my clothes lying there so I could pick them up without anyone spotting them.

“I think I can, but… Tell me something, anything… It is so confusing.”

She walked to the door, and I followed her. When she turned off the lights, she leaned over and whispered,

“This place is not what you think it is. You can see it if you know where to look. Just don’t get into trouble,” she added and opened the door and stepped outside.