El and Eden

2054 - Nagano

I've always wanted to disappear. As far back as I can remember, I desired nothing more. I was that way as a child. The quiet type who rarely spoke unless spoken to. Someone whose fear of others continued to build without intervention until it hindered my ability to exist in public.

Family would say, "He'll grow out of it and become a fine young man," but were disappointed as I reached my teenage years and continued my pattern of antisocial behavior. By the time I reached high school, my parents had given up on me. I had no friends, and I refused to make any. Every day was the same tired routine.

Wake, attend classes, return home, sleep. I had no hobbies or interests, which hindered my ability to connect with people my age. Over time, my existence began to fade. Figuratively, I was invisible. My classmates didn't acknowledge me, but their distance was comforting.

I can't truthfully say I'd never had a friend. There were a few guys I spoke with casually, people who tried to include me in class activities, but I actively tried to avoid them, and eventually they gave up.

I walked to school in the mornings and took the same route every time. On my way, I passed a hotel. There was nothing special about it, and to anyone other than myself, they would've thought nothing of it. That route was the only source of happiness in my school days because I got to wave at the cute girl living there.

Every day, she gazed out a window on the third floor, watching students pass below. When I first noticed her in the window, I thought to myself what a pretty girl. But my idle admiration didn't go any further than that. A few days passed, and I continued to see her. How long was she staying there? By the end of the first week, I decided to act on my shallow attraction towards her.

It was out of character. I'd never go out of my way to be friendly to another person. It was too much of a hassle, and even simple interactions like a wave struck anxiety deep into my core. When I waved to her, I was surprised that she waved back at me. She noticed my small, insignificant existence, and it pleased me.

I continued to wave at her every morning, and I started looking forward to our small gestures of kindness. My desire to know her personally got stronger, as did my fear that she might leave. A month had passed, and she was still staying at the hotel. She must have some connection to the owner, I assumed.

When I graduated from high school, I stopped walking that way. I stopped going anywhere. It wasn't that I didn't care about visiting her anymore, but my aversion to the outside world was too intense. Nothing could get me to step outside of my room. I became a hikikomori and leeched off my parents' income. A man-child, I locked myself in my dark bedroom and indulged in the pleasures of life. 

Books, video games, and the internet became my escape. Talking to strangers online was easier and more fulfilling than in real life. They understood me, and we held the same opinions on society and the world as a whole.

During this time, I became cynical. I despised others and blamed them for my shortcomings. My online friends affirmed these delusions, encouraging the development of my hatred for the human race. They were even more sorry than I, men late in age who probably couldn't touch their toes if they bent forward.

Once, I confided in them my passion for the girl at the hotel. My small crush on her lingered even after years had passed. They did not take kindly to my admission of love for a female. I wanted to fit in, but I couldn't let go of her. 

When I thought of her, suddenly my life didn't seem so bad. Her kindness and refined behavior were more attractive to me than her looks. Since I had never been friends with a girl or talked to one besides my mother, I was uneducated in the aspects of femininity. Maybe that was what set me apart from my friends online. They were obsessed with women, but their inability to find a relationship with one bred hatred.

My hatred of humans extended to women as well. Like any man, I was attracted to them on a base level. Those feelings were never strong enough for me to act on. That's why my love for the girl at the hotel was entirely pure. I didn't view her as a woman to be romanced, but as an unlabeled person, levels above myself.

She was completely unreachable, and yet she lowered herself to my level by acknowledging my existence. You might think I was hypocritical, because there were plenty of people who acknowledged me but were pushed away by my own ignorance. Yes, I was only happy because I had reached out to her first.

Proud of my courage to put myself forward, I fell for her because she accepted that courage and made my small efforts worth it.

When I was 20 years old, I went to see her again. I was sure she wouldn't be there. She probably moved away and found a man to settle down with. She was awfully beautiful. I cursed at the thought of losing her to a human. All my time in isolation had led me to believe that she and I were separate from the rest of the world. We were not human, but something different. Something better.

I slipped out of the house and made my way to her hotel. The world terrified me, and even the birds chirping caused me to flinch. I stood below her window, waiting for her to appear. The curtains were closed, and it appeared the room currently had no guests. But I wasn't going to let my trip be for nothing.

Soon, the curtains moved, and the girl appeared. My expression must've been funny, since she started laughing softly when she saw me waiting for her. She waved brightly. She hadn't aged a bit since I last saw her. It wasn't only a wave, however. She gestured for me to enter.

Would I really be able to meet the girl after all these years?

I didn't waste any time entering the hotel to search for her. I was not allowed to leave the lobby unless I purchased a room, so I sat on a chair and waited for her to come get me. The minutes passed at a crawl, and I felt the eyes of people around me breaking through the protective shield I had built around myself. Just as I was about to leave, running out and never returning to the outside world, the girl appeared before me.

Long black hair that reached down to her hips, turquoise eyes, and soft, pillowy features. She captivated those around her and was capable of getting anything she wanted with her beauty alone.

She took me to her room, where I was lucky enough to speak with her. She had a light cadence to her voice, airy and soft. Unlike other humans, her presence comforted me. When I was with her, I couldn't stop thinking about the people online who told me to forget about her. Fearing what they might think of me if they knew I had met her in person, I closed myself off without worrying about what kind of first impression I was making. It didn't occur to me that I could simply lie about her to the people I considered friends.

"You finally came back. I waited so long to see you again," she said.

Her first words were heartwarming, and I felt something stir within me. I could hardly believe the girl I loved had been waiting to see me just as I had waited for her. Had I really made such an impression on her?

"I'm surprised you remember me," I responded, somewhat cynically. Finally meeting her for the first time, I wondered if she might have some ulterior motive behind befriending me.

"I could never forget you, Koharu," she smiled. My heart sank, body tensing as my name rolled off her tongue. My face, overtaken with dread, must have looked pale, since she took on a concerned expression.

"H-how do you know my name?"

She didn't give me a proper answer, just moved forward and kissed my cheek. Up until that point, I'd never had a proper interaction with a girl, let alone been kissed by one. The touch of a woman was as foreign and unattainable as riches and fame. Everything in me wanted to run. Leave and forget about her, because my body was screaming that something wasn't right. She wasn't normal.

But before I could make my escape, a burning sensation spread throughout my hand. Like my flesh had been dipped in the fires of hell, my hand melted, eclipsed by bone which molded and grew like an amoeba. My body reacted to her kiss, and like contact with her had triggered some primal evolution, my hand morphed into something hellish.

My bone stretched, and a shiny coating grew over it in place of the skin, which now dripped to the floor like honey. It curved, and once it had formed a new shape, it resembled the curved blade of a sword. What used to be a hand was now coated in metal. I screamed, and during the transformation, I felt vomit rise in my throat. Sweat soaked my back. It burned.

"Shhh," the girl covered my mouth. My eyes bulged, staring at my newly grown weapon. It wasn't possible. It was a fantasy.

"What the hell did you do to me!?"

"I'm sorry, it must've hurt a lot. You'll be able to hide it when you revert to your other self," she said. Though she apologized, she didn't seem at all remorseful. The girl kept on smiling, and she took my normal hand, leading me to a mirror.

I was forced to look at my reflection, and the hand that no longer was. She hugged me from behind, reaching her hands under my shirt and touching my chest. As I was still experiencing the pain and shock from my transformation, I didn't comprehend her flirting.

"Now that you have your weapon, you will be my protector," she stated.

"What do you need to be protected from?"

"...the angels. They're terrible people. They want to kill me—they've been trying for years," she bit her lip. "Soon it will become hard for me to defend myself."

The girl was insane. I could see it now. But with my hand destroyed, I couldn't simply walk away as if nothing happened. I needed to convince her to let me go, to allow me to return to my normal life. I wanted no part in her games. "Protecting her"—as if I were capable of such a thing. I was weak. Always had been.

I haven't mentioned my own appearance so far, and that is because I have always been ashamed of it. There wasn't anything interesting about me, which is another reason I was always invisible. I had short hair, glasses, and a scrawny build. There's nothing else to say. That's how bland I was.

"My name is El, and from now on you will be called Ko."

Ko. What an odd name. I wasn't ready to leave behind my name for her, but beneath my pride, I did like the name she'd chosen for me. It was just a shorter version of my original name, Koharu.

El was a scary girl, but she was also elegant and admirable. After our first meeting, I became attached to her hip, so to speak. I couldn't return home with a blade for a hand, and El didn't want me to either. She insisted I stay by her side for her safety. For the first few months, nothing happened. She had convinced the owner of the hotel that she was his daughter, using her power. The full extent of her abilities was a mystery to me. We were allowed to live in one of the rooms together, and it became my home.

I learned everything about her. El was terrible at keeping secrets, she told me. She loved to talk and share stories. But with me, she was especially loving. She took comfort in the fact that she was the only person to know my innermost thoughts. As a man, I rarely shared my troubles with others. The inner turmoil I'd suffered through for my entire life was unknown to even my family, who couldn't put a finger on the cause of my social anxiety. El knew it all. She cared.

What I learned was that El was a curse.

Her origins were unknown. She couldn't remember who spoke her into existence, just that it happened many years ago. She introduced me to the rules of the universe and the creator who made it all. A great being named Narava ruled the earth and sky. Alongside him was Flounn, the rules that governed the physical realm.

El was created to stop Flounn and to force humans to disobey its rules. She was chaos in human form. When humans were created, they were expected to follow the five rules of Flounn.

1. Living beings must respect the vow to love one another

2. Living beings must exist fairly and evenly

3. Living beings must not possess the power of their maker

4. Living beings must do only good

5. Living beings must care for each other

Her existence denied the first law. As time went on, her power steadily grew. She was able to control the emotions of humans and manipulate them. If a person could not see out of their left eye, they would lose the ability to love.

It is human nature to break the law. They are not perfect beings. They make mistakes and do things they regret. Everyone will act unfairly and lie. All will do wrong, and all will neglect those around them at some point. Some brim with so much love for others that they can't break the first law. That is why El exists, to make sure they break it.

In the end, the third law is the only unbreakable law. No human could attain the power of Narava, so they are safe from the consequences of breaking all five laws.

Rot.

A terrifying black substance that slowly eats your body until you disintegrate. A person who breaks all five laws will be devoured by rot and will die a slow, painful death.

When El finally matured, she would bloom and spread her power among the entire human race. The power within her, which was stolen from Narava at the beginning of time and planted into her by her maker, was intended to destroy humanity. If humans gained the smallest fraction of Narava's power, there would be no saving them.

By living with her, I became an expert on all things supernatural. I eagerly waited for the day her enemies would arrive, and I could prove myself to her. Because over the time we lived together, I had fallen deeply in love with her. I craved her. I sensed that she enjoyed it when I pined for her. I pushed aside my frustration. She wouldn't give me what I wanted.

I became a slave to her tricks, wrapped around her finger just as she wanted. El didn't want to do me harm, no, she was quite in love with me as well. But at first, I was unattractive to her, so she molded me into the man she desired. I grew my hair, and as I fought for her, I became stronger. By the time I reached 25, I was completely unrecognizable. So different that you could not match my new persona to my face on the missing posters.

Yes, my family had been searching for me. I never surfaced.

Finally, the time came when I had to defend my woman. An angel broke into the hotel one night, crept up the stairs so quietly he was almost undetectable. El sensed him before I could.

When I stepped into the hallway, a purifying aura swept through me. Before me stood the most gorgeous man I'd ever laid eyes on. I almost questioned my attractions. He had long white hair pulled back in a ponytail, deep blue eyes, and porcelain white skin.

He wore a blue conductor's hat and a suit the color of winter blue snow. Huge feathered wings sprouted from his back, trailing angelic stardust as he moved. He was to die for. I was instantly struck with jealousy that I could not be as beautiful as him. Behind me, El whimpered. Certainly, it had been out of fear, but my only thought was that she must be filled with desire for the stranger. Killing him became my number one goal. If he came here to harm my woman, I would not allow him to take another step.

"State your name," I demanded, pointing my sword hand at him.

"Eden. And who are you?"

"You may call me Ko, though you won't be around to use it," I grinned, crazed eyes.

His name was just as gorgeous as his face. It was definitely the name of an angel.

I shot forward, swiping at him in a flash of metal. His wings allowed him to jump and maintain his position above me. Eden was not confined to the floor, and he had many more tricks than I. While I could only use my pathetic hand to cut him, he was equipped with an all-seeing eye which blinked on his forehead. He predicted my actions before I moved, and reacted accordingly.

Struggling to land a blow on him, my frustration increased. He landed hit after hit on me, lashing my arms with a holy sword he manifested out of the air. It glowed white, and each cut sent a cold shock rattling through my body. When we stepped back, my arms were torn to shreds. El cowered in our room, hiding from Eden.

I hated him for scaring my woman and for stirring these feelings in me. I wanted him to die. The thought of tearing into such beautiful flesh delighted me. I'd become a deranged monster.

Trying from a different angle, I attacked his wings. I hoped to stop him from flying so he would be easier to catch. They flapped with incredible strength and sent me flying backwards. I was thrust against the wall. He was more of an animal than I was. He was delicate, almost feminine, as his wings fluttered in self-defense.

Eden walked towards me, but I had lost my will to fight. He held out his hand, aiming for my chest, and a blinding light shot from his palm. It cut my midsection, searing my skin. I grinned, finding pleasure in pain. Masochism born in me through my interactions with El had made me crave this kind of conflict. Dangerous situations where my life was at risk. Those were the thrills I lived for.

I passed out.

When I woke, El was nowhere to be found. Studying my chest, I noticed I had been marked, but not killed. The wound on my chest was still bleeding, though, so I rushed to find El. She always knew what to do.

The hotel was empty.

"El?"

My heart raced. Did Eden succeed in destroying her? Is that why he'd spared me? No...I felt different. I looked into the mirror, which was now cracked, and was shocked that my hair had turned white. I looked similar to Eden. These were the signs of magic being transferred. I instinctively knew what she'd done.

El made me immortal. She must have held me in her arms as I neared death, and watching the fragile life of her bodyguard waning at a rapid pace, she made a sacrifice. I wept at the realization. The woman I loved had given up everything for me.

I continued to search for her. The hotel was eerily silent. Sound from the outside world couldn't enter the barricade she'd put up. Now this place was ours.

She had carved a nest underneath the hotel, a cave where her huge gel-like form slept. It was green and yellow, transparent and lacking structure. When I touched it, it reacted to me and molded around my hand. I walked into it, allowing her to fully encase me in her mold. Inside El, I was warm like a baby in the womb. I became one with her, and I understood her completely. Only inside of her could I speak with her.

Eden did a good job weakening her, but he failed to eliminate his opponents. El was tough. She fought till the very end, and after executing all his strongest moves, Eden was forced to retreat. She was unable to keep her human form after granting me immortality, since the amount of power she held was finite. She could not afford to continue to use Narava's power to maintain her appearance. It must be preserved for her bloom.

I made love to El. It was unconventional, but fitting. I hated humans, and in the end, I fell in love with someone who wasn't human at all. It was probably for the best. I would've been repulsed by committing such acts with a human. Encased by her gelatinous form, I felt as safe as a child in his mother's arms. She was gentle, careful with me, aware that I was now small and weak compared to her.

I lived through many generations. The world's demise fit into El's plan, and I was by her side through it all. By day, I took the form of my former self, who had been forgotten as time went on. Each generation, I assumed a new name, allowing myself to live a new life as I waited for El to bloom. 

By night, I was her guardian, keeping her company in the form she knew best. I had forgotten about the things I used to fear. The world that terrified me, and the people in it. I lived for El, and her existence filled me with confidence. She encouraged me to become something greater.

Eventually, I covered my eyes. I was filled with love so strong it hindered my ability to protect her. I knew I would rot. I had already gained Narava's power through her transfer of immortality to me, and by gradually cutting off my feelings in the form of Ko, I would attract the black substance that clung to skin like shadow. It was the only thing that could kill me now that my body was immune to wounds and aging.

My only complaint was being unable to see her body with my eyes covered. But sight is not the only sense. Her voice caressed my ears, her smell tantalising, and her skin against mine reminded me that heaven did exist. 

Denied the pleasure of feasting my eyes on her bulbous figure, I transferred my energy elsewhere. Toying with our enemies and leading them astray kept me busy. El understood my need for company other than herself, but I realized she must have grown jealous of the time I spent in the world above, basking in sunlight while she withered beneath the city.

El is not a monster like me. She has restraint, and she's slow to anger. I believe she's not a curse, but a blessing.

I'll continue to wait for her, no matter how long it takes.

I'm waiting for the day she'll bloom.