Unrestrained

Quiet is the night. No wind, no critters, just them. Even from here, I could make out what they were saying.

Despite herself, Chihara's posture was stiff, and her expression was nothing short of resentment.

"You're joking, right?" she muttered. "Did you seriously think I would accept your apology after... after what you did?"

"Ouka, I'm telling you!" Jizou cried out, desperate. "That senpai was the one who coerced me into doing it! It wasn't my fault! We've been friends since high school! You have to believe me!"

"I don't care if it was or wasn't your fault! The fact is that it happened. If I were to take you back... I'd be disrespecting myself. But even in a world where that is possible, I don't want to forgive you. I refuse to. I can't even look at you as a friend anymore."

"What?! Ouka!"

"That's enough, Kenji!"

Her raw voice echoed into the night.

"That's enough... So, please... Just go away. Stop bothering me, and move on. I'm not the one for you. Not anymore."

Chihara turned around and quickly packed up her belongings. Without missing a beat, she began walking away until Jizou spoke.

"That third-year guy... Kinoshita Kazuha. You're seeing him, aren't you?"

"W-what...? Ah—!"

Jizou forcefully took her by the wrists and pinned her to the bench. The school bag fell, plopping onto the ground with a soft thud.

"Kenji! What... W-what are you doing?!"

"This isn't right... I finally had what I wanted. You. And now you're telling me that you never want to see me again? How am I supposed to accept that?"

"Are you crazy?! Let go!"

"No. Please, try to understand where I'm coming from, Ouka. I wanted you for so long, and now I have you... I'm not letting you go."

He leaned closer to her, but by that time, I was already there. Without a single shred of hesitation, I drove my foot right into his stomach, knocking him back.

"...Kinoshita...?"

Chihara's voice was lost in my ears. She was looking at me, but my gaze was fixed on Jizou. I don't even remember moving. My legs just... moved on their own.

"You..." Jizou growled as he stood up.

"Hey, kid. I'm only gonna give you one chance. Tell me... What the fuck were you trying to do to Chihara?"

He didn't answer right away. Maybe he was coming up with an excuse. Or maybe he was reflecting on what he had just committed.

I wanted to give him a chance. I wanted to see if he could give me something, anything at all, because even now... I still couldn't believe what I had witnessed just then.

"It's all because of you," Jizou muttered. "You're the one who tried to take Ouka away from me."

And now, he won't even answer my question. He's too lost in his own world. Then again, I have no right to judge, because so am I.

"Yeah. I am the one who tried to take her away from you. My question to you is... What are you gonna do about it?"

"You bastard!"

He rushed forward, immediately telegraphing which arm he would use. When he swung, I pulled back just enough to narrowly dodge it. At the same time, I landed a punch on his hip. The moment he staggered even just a little, I struck his face with my other hand.

When he fell to the ground, so did I — right on top of him. My hand clenched tightly into a ball before descending.

One strike became two.

Something cracked in the distance.

Two became four.

Cold struck from above, but I couldn't register it.

Four became... I lost count. I don't know how many times I struck his face, nor did I care about how much blood soaked the ground. I only had one thing in mind.

Break him.

"Kinoshita!"

I froze, except it wasn't the cold that touched me this time. Instead, it was Chihara's arm, looped around my chest from behind.

"That's enough. P-please..."

I didn't want to. My head was telling me to break his arms, his legs, everything... so that he could never hurt Chihara again.

And yet, despite that... I let go. My hands were still shaking, my chest was pounding, but my eyes were starting to clear up.

With a chilly breath, I tilted my head to meet the sky full of rain.

Only then did I realize what I had done.

"Chihara..." I whispered. "Are you... okay?"

"...Yeah. I'm okay, Kinoshita. I'm okay..."

With a sigh, I stood, but I couldn't look Chihara in the eye. I then plopped down onto the bench, hanging one arm over my eyes.

"Jizou Kenji. I know you're awake. You can stay there and bleed out if you want... but I would rather you pick yourself up and get the fuck out of here."

It only took a few seconds before the sound of grunts and shuffling footsteps slowly began to fade away.

Suddenly, I flinched when I felt a hand landing on my chest.

"Kinoshita...?"

Chihara's voice. Like always, it was gentle.

I lifted my arm just enough to glimpse her peering through the gap, tears still slipping down her cheeks. At once, I sat up and reached for her, my hand hovering in the space between us, but I didn't dare to touch her.

"Chihara. You're not hurt anywhere, are you?"

She sniffled, clenching her teeth, and dropped her forehead onto my shoulder. First came the whimpers, followed by convulsive gasps.

For a while, we sat there like we usually did. But it was different this time, because now... It was raining. Just like the first night we met.

Both of us were broken. It almost seemed like nothing had changed since then.

Her, with Jizou Kenji.

Me, with Kimura Junko.

Here we were, still broken — still fighting pointlessly.

Eventually, the rain let up, reduced to only a slight drizzle.

I was tired and cold. Didn't feel like getting up, even though I was drenched. But right now, I really couldn't care less about myself. What I was more worried about was Chihara.

"Hey," I said. "We should head in."

She didn't answer.

"Chihara."

Still nothing.

From here, I could only see her lips twitching. Worried that she might have fallen asleep, I moved a bit, which caused her to flinch just slightly.

"Chihara?"

"...Kinoshita..."

Sluggishly, she lifted her head, and the look on her face nearly reignited the anger that burned in my chest just a bit ago. It was dry of tears, eyes swollen, but it seemed like they could fall again at any moment.

"Is there... something wrong with me?"

"What?"

She lowered her head again.

"When you see me... What's the first thing you think of? You said 'cute', right? A lot of people would agree, but more would rather say... 'perfect'. My name is Chihara Ouka, a perfect girl who is cute, smart, and kind. Do you... agree with them?"

I turned to face the flooded courtyard. Normally, on a night like this, it'd be so beautiful. Now, it was more gloomy than ever before.

"No. You're not perfect. If you were... You wouldn't have any reason to cry."

"Hah... Yeah. You're right. Everyone..."—her voice cracked—"Everyone likes me. Everyone wants to be my friend. But if I'm so perfect... then why did I get cheated on? Why am I crying when everything about me is so flawless? Why... do I have to feel this way?"

She drew a deep, shaky breath.

"I thought if I could keep it up… if I could just be perfect… I wouldn't have to worry. I'd be happy. So when Kenji cheated on me... it shattered everything. Did I mess up? Was I not enough? Could I have done something better? That's why I tried not to let it get to me. That's why I kept up that perfect image. If I didn't... then I'd get left behind again. Now, I understand. I'm not perfect. Not even close. Maybe losing my relationships... is a natural part of who I am..."

Hearing all of this… It hurts. I always knew there was more to Chihara than what she let people see, but I never imagined it would be something like this.

I was blind. Worse, I became part of the problem — one of the very people who helped turn her into this.

With that, I rose to my feet, grabbing her school bag from the damp ground. Then, I stepped in front of her, extending my hand.

"Let's get you inside," I said. "Any longer than this, and you'll catch a cold."

She waited to take my hand. What for? I didn't know.

In complete silence, we made our way through the courtyard. And the entire time... I never let go of her hand.