Goblins are Cute, Right?

Okino Midori

“You…” Yoshioka said, worried. “You want to try talking to these two goblin children?”

Okino nodded, her eyes shining with determination. Her character, Cristiana, had a +2 in Charisma; she was literally born for this very moment. If she were required to make a Charisma check to determine her success, she would get to add two points to her roll, which was the highest in her party.

“Does Cristiana know Goblin-speak?” Kyoko asked, facing the ceiling of the karaoke box before meeting the gaze of her friend.

“She doesn’t.” Sugiyama sighed. He did it with that tone again where he sounded annoyed but not really, which was annoying as hell. “This is not normal. We decided to look for Purple Herbs in this part of the Ezuros Forest precisely because it’s far from the border, right? If there are children here, it means their parents are nearby.”

Okino raised a brow. “But—”

“If Cristiana fails in… whatever she’s trying to do, we’ll have to kill these children. And if they manage to escape, I can pretty much guarantee that we will have a goblin hunting party up our asses on our way to Galemoore.”

“I’m sure it will be fine, Sugiyama. These children won’t be able to escape, at least,” Tanaka commented, giving Okino a bit of confidence in a very weird way. “Trust. One hundred percent.”

“Right…” Yoshioka checked something behind his game master screen. “What are you trying to do, Okino?”

Okino sipped her oolong tea. Kyoko, her best friend, was waiting for her answer. The one beside her, Sugiyama, was doing the same. On her right was Tanaka, who seemed very interested, but that was a low bar considering that he was an easygoing soul who was always interested in the shit they were trying to pull.

Okino swallowed, letting her elegant poker face do the work. The problem. The problem was that she couldn’t bring herself to face them. And to be honest, she hadn’t thought this far. She liked the thought of having goblins, these little green things, as her goons. That was it. BUT SHE COULDN’T TELL THEM THAT. That would make her look stupid. Kyoko would judge her. Sugiyama might, too.

“Cristiana doesn’t k-kill children. I… also don’t want to have another fight since we lost all of our potions in our encounter with the pack of gray wolves. Maybe I could make them run away and leave the herbs to us? Then… we can go home and spend our hard-earned coin in the tavern and—”

“GM…” Kyoko faced Yoshioka. “Can I have Gustave check the surroundings?”

“Make a Wisdom check.”

Kyoko rolled a twenty-sided die on her side of the table. “Eighteen.”

Yoshioka nodded. “Gustave can confirm that there’s no one around. With an eighteen, let’s say that you also notice that these children are looking too delighted, almost teary-eyed, at the sight of these Purple Herbs.”

Okino gasped. She leaned toward the table, bypassing Kyoko to glare at Sugiyama. Similar to the shit he pulled on their previous session, he refused to look back at her.

“See? Their mom is probably sick and they wandered far deeper into our territory to get some medicine. I can ask them to share; I have a +2 in Charisma.”

“You don’t speak Goblin.”

Okino grit her teeth. “But that’s what Cristiana would do.”

“Cristiana won’t do something stupid—” Sugiyama paused. This time, he met her gaze and looked away at the very next second as if he had stepped on a landmine.

Sugiyama was right to think that.

“YOU DON’T KNOW HER—” Okino raised her voice, still very much in denial. “Maybe she likes little goblins. Maybe she thinks they’re cute. Maybe… MAYBE LIKE Gustave, she saw that these goblins are looking a little too happy about these herbs.”

“Make a Wisdom check,” Yoshioka chimed in, trying not to laugh. “Beat a 13.”

Great. Meeting or beating a 13 meant that she’d succeed. Okino borrowed Kyoko’s dice and rolled.

“…Eight.”

“Nope, Cristiana doesn’t see it.”

“GODDAMN.”

Tanaka kept smiling. “Still good. Don’t worry. Trust. One hundred percent.”

“Fine—” Sugiyama sighed. “Fine. You can talk to the goblins. But if things go wrong… Leon will be the first to ditch Cristiana’s ass.”

Gah. No one cared about Sugiyama’s character. At least Okino didn’t. A “spellcaster” with a +1 in Strength, Dexterity, and Intelligence—Leon’s stats were so bad that even Kyoko laughed when Sugiyama rolled them.

But that was not all. He liked to nag about their party’s affairs like he was the one in charge, but with only two spellbooks he could use once per day and a ring of fire bolt Yoshioka gave him out of pity, his words were meaningless.

Yes, Leon could ditch Cristiana, but if a goblin gets to him first… he would be toast.

So would she lose? Nah. Okino wanted to laugh. The best option right now would be to double down, to scream. This might be the best time to assert her dominance—but maybe she could do that later. After all, a plan might be stupid, but if it worked, then it wasn't stupid. Getting a good roll would prove Sugiyama wrong and she would get her goblin goons. It was a win-win.

“GM…” Okino faced Yoshioka with her newfound determination. GM was short for Game Master, which she felt cool using like Kyoko. “I’d like to approach these goblin children and I WOULD LIKE TO EXPRESS,” she glanced at Sugiyama, “that I need those herbs too. And maybe perhaps we could share.”

Yoshioka didn’t even try masking his smile. Jerk. “Communicating through vibes is a tough one. Make a Charisma check. Beat a 17.”

Kyoko passed her dice to Okino.

The firm nod they exchanged in that moment gave her all the confidence she needed. Right. Having a goblin minion would be cute. They could grow stronger and all. Bond. Then, she could be her own team. Okino kept that in her heart as she rolled the dice.

“F—” Okino swallowed. She looked at Kyoko, Tanaka… and at Yoshioka. “Five… p-plus two… Seven.”

Yoshioka flashed them a toothy grin. “The two goblins were surprised that a human actually talked to them. For a second, it really seemed like they intended to listen to what you’re trying to say… but—”

Kyoko breathed, trying her best not to smile. That almost brought tears to Okino’s eyes.

“Gustave draws his sword.”

“Noemi is going to take out her sickle too,” Tanaka added with a small laugh.

“Are they out of range?” Sugiyama asked, sounding a bit more pissed than usual.

“Yes. You would basically need to come out of hiding if you want to hit them with a firebolt.”

“That’s fine.”

Wait, why was he doing this?

“You’re going to have to cover more distance since you’ve chosen to step back to guard the cargo before this whole thing started. I’ll need you to make a Dexterity check to see if Leon can weave through the trees. Beat a 12.”

Sugiyama rolled. “That’s a… four.”

Yoshioka nodded. “Both Gustave and Noemi are hiding in the trees. Leon gets snagged by a branch on his way… but you all see the first goblin step forward to gingerly point a stone dagger to Cristiana. The second one stepped back to hide behind the first goblin’s shadow. We’re about to enter combat, everyone. Someone make a Charisma check for initiative.”

“Let me do it,” Kyoko said and rolled the dice along with Yoshioka. “Nine plus one. That’s a ten.”

“Beats the first goblin’s six. You guys get to go first,” Yoshioka said. “Since Leon got snagged by a branch on his way, he will need to act last.”

Tanaka cracked his knuckles. “Are the goblins aware that we’re around?”

“No.”

“Nice. I’ll have Noemi cut through the trees on the side and make a beeline toward the goblin at the back. She’ll try to cut its throat in one go.”

Okino didn’t know if she should be ashamed. But if there was one thing that made her heart melt, it was the fact that her teammates were covering her ass. Even Sugiyama… well, he tried.

Kyoko looked over at Tanaka. “Wait, why?”

“Oh,” Tanaka looked at them and smiled like the handsome man he was. “I’ll make it so that they can’t scream as they die.”

What…

“Dexterity check. Beat a 16.”

“Eighteen.”

Yoshioka whistled. “No need to roll damage. The second goblin won’t see you coming; attacks against utterly defenseless foes will kill them.”

Sorry. Okino screamed inside her head.

“Gustave will also take the opportunity to rush forward and attack the first goblin.”

“Make an Attack roll.”

“Natural 20.” Kyoko smiled and cutely sipped her iced oolong tea. She rolled two eight-sided dice for her damage. “Nine points of damage, total.”

Yoshioka let out a small laugh. “So—Cristiana.” He paused to laugh, again. Jerk. “The moment you realized that your attempt to communicate with these goblins had failed, you saw Noemi burst out of the treeline from the side to cut the second goblin’s throat before it could even realize what was happening. It stepped back, grabbing its wound… trying to put back the blood pouring out of its fingers until it eventually fell backward, dead.”

“Nice.” Tanaka smiled at the rest of them.

Okino gulped. The fact that he could say these things with the purest of smiles… It also didn't help that he was handsome. Tanaka was scary.

“The first goblin was mortified that the second goblin was killed by another human so quickly,” Yoshioka continued. “Cristiana, you could see the deep-seated anger in its eyes as it poised to scream—it was at this moment Gustave appeared from behind you to sink his dull blade deep into its skull. It died immediately… and you all managed to take two of them down with little to no noise.”

──────────

Sugiyama Nori

Sugiyama thanked Yoshioka for the session and welcomed himself out of the karaoke box first. It was the appropriate thing to do since Eiji—err, Tanaka—was still talking with Fujimaru Kyoko and Okino Midori.

They seemed to be having fun. Good for them. Of course, they would find Noemi cool.

Sugiyama sighed as he went out of the building.

The rest of the session was spent on their journey back to Galemoore. The highlight was them fending off some bandits, and the rest was just Cristiana roleplaying about how terrible and sorry she felt for having those goblin children killed.

Naturally, Sugiyama stepped back from that. It wouldn’t make sense for Leon to comfort her; he wasn’t even in the fight. It also wouldn't make sense for Sugiyama to talk as if he hadn’t just threatened Okino that he would ditch her ass. Worse, he had gone back on his word, only to get snagged by some branches because of a bad roll.

Why did he do that, anyway?

Sugiyama got himself a can of café latte from a vending machine. It was right outside the building, and he found this extremely convenient. Because it was here, he could just treat himself to lighten his mood after a botched session. He thought about pressing the cold can against his cheek for an extra cheer but decided against it.

This botched session was the second time this month. It was the second time since he started getting into this “hobby.”

The first session was ruined because Sugiyama rolled badly for his stats and expressed his disappointment a little too clearly. Eiji had to step in and remind him to chill out, saying that this wasn’t a job and they weren’t his coworkers.

For the second one… Sugiyama grimaced. He could still hear that nearly adorable, offended sound Okino made when she told him that he didn’t know Cristiana.

Fair point, to be honest. He had overstepped his boundaries. Again. So, he should at least apologize. Sugiyama leaned against the wall by the building’s entrance. He sighed, closed his eyes, and lifted the can to drink his coffee. The taste somewhat made him smile, bringing him a bit of strength to start his shift later that night.

Though by the time he opened his eyes, Okino was by the door, staring at him. Surprised.

“Yo.”

Sugiyama didn’t do well with surprises; he knew that about himself. Still, a part of him cringed at the thought of not being able to say a simple hi or hello out of panic.

Okino froze for about two seconds. “Wa—su-sup…” she replied, widening her eyes before turning her head away and back. Then she smiled at him, awkwardly. “H-homie.”

“I…” Sugiyama did not take his eyes off her. He sipped his coffee. Relax. He just needed to do just that. Okino was not a coworker. “You’re waiting for Fujimaru?”

Okino nodded, her gaze still wide and her lips pressed together.

“I see.”

The sound of a passing taxi filled their ears. Fuck. How should he go about this? Where was the memo? He couldn’t just pull up his phone to see a tutorial on how to make normal small talk with girls. Where was Fujimaru? What should he do?

Sugiyama glanced at Okino and she caught his eyes again. He looked away.

Should he talk about the weather? It was afternoon. Was it cold? No. That would be boring. Should he talk about his work, his upcoming shift? No, his work was boring, too. Wait, why did he feel like entertaining her, anyway? He could just leave—but… oh, right.

Something had been bugging him. And it wasn’t right to leave it at that.

“So…”

Sugiyama muttered, giving himself enough time to breathe so as not to fumble his words. He met Okino’s eyes once again and used the moment to point her toward the nearby vending machine.

“Can I get you something?”

“No, I’m—” Okino Midori paused. Her face fell flat, melting like ice cream, which she shrugged off by shaking her head. Then she smiled politely, pointing to the can in Sugiyama’s hands. “That one… please. I actually drink the same thing.”

Sugiyama smiled back as if he hadn’t just killed his own urge to scream. Cute. He kept that thought as he got the same coffee from the vending machine and handed it to her.

“Thanks,” Okino Midori said, her voice sounding a bit awkward yet cheerful.

Her smile. It was now less polite, even less so when she giggled upon pressing its cold surface against her cheek. Sugiyama couldn't be more thankful since this was what he needed to confirm.

The art of apology-making could be broken down into two simple steps. The first was to get a gift. The second was to apologize.

Now, Sugiyama wouldn’t go as far as to bow down in front of her. But the rest was simple, really. All he needed was a proper, serious tone, powerful eye contact, and the admission that he was wrong, followed by mentioning what he could do to not let it happen again. He knew every fact, which was why he considered himself a master apologizer.

Sugiyama set his eyes on her, making a point to look serious. “This is a peace offering,” he paused for dramatic effect. “I apologize. I’m sorry I offended you by getting a bit too handsy with Cristiana and what she would do. I’ll try not to do that and just have fun with you guys in the future, but please do be patient with me.”

Best apology delivered. Maximum execution. Trust. One hundred percent. Sugiyama cringed.

Sugiyama nodded to himself. He made sure to smile politely as he turned his back and walked away. Distance mattered, too. It was good that he got to say his piece. Now, all he had to do was give her the time she needed to think about—

“I…” Okino Midori raised her voice, compelling Sugiyama to turn his head back. “I’m… I’m sorry, too. And I…” Her gaze was earnest, shining. “I accept your apology.”

Sugiyama smiled back in a way that surprised him. It was… somewhat confusing.

He wasn’t entirely sure about it. But for a moment, the thought of being able to pat himself on the back for his performance didn’t matter. By the way she looked at him… he was glad that she had accepted his apology. Just that. Her reply had no trace of malice or even professionalism. It was an apology that was as awkward as it could ever be and nothing more.

It was pleasant.

“Thank you.”

What his face looked like when he said that just before he walked away didn't matter, either.

“See you next week.”

Sugiyama said those words even before he could imagine what they could mean. And when Okino basically screamed the same thing, the way it made his chest flutter was… for lack of a better word… divine. He let a chuckle escape his lips.

Work would suck balls, but maybe there was a benefit to making sure he’d live until next week.