Detective Yamamoto's Dating Service For Eligible Bachelorettes Part 1

TUESDAY

Satoshi struggled to concentrate. Detective Yamamoto was currently without a case, but the weather was so pleasant that even given the opportunity to get some writing done, he found himself zoning out and enjoying the sunshine streaming in through the window. He snapped back to reality at the sound of a knock on the door.

Serves me right, Satoshi thought to himself. This is what I get for being lazy.

He stood shakily from his chair, closed his notebook, stretched his legs, and plodded over to the front door. On the other side of the door was a woman. She possessed a striking figure, which she showed off to great affect. Judging by the clothes she wore, Satoshi expected she had recently been working out given the spandex. Between the top and the shorts, she left her midriff bare, displaying not only her toned core, but prominent tan lines that spoke of long hours spent outside engaging in athletics.

“Good morning, miss,” Satoshi said.

“Are you the detective?” the woman asked. Satoshi shook his head in reply.
“I'm just an assistant. Follow me.” He gestured for the woman to follow him and led her over to the detective's office.

In the office, Detective Yamamoto was enjoying the weather as much as everyone else. In deference to the heat, she had endeavored to wear as little as possible and succeeded. The unfortunately thin tank top didn't do much to preserve her modesty, but Satoshi had resolved not to look in her direction and he hoped any potential clients would be too desperate to make an issue of the detective's attire. When the detective didn't look up from her comic book, even as he and the woman audibly entered the room, he knocked on the door jamb and cleared his throat.

“Detective,” he said. “We have a client.” Detective Yamamoto looked up, placed her book on the desk while carefully marking her page, and stretched, revealing a little too much skin for so early in the day.

“Ah,” sighed the detective. “How can I help you?” Satoshi noticed that the woman took on a distinctly sheepish demeanor as though she felt uncomfortable talking about her problem.

“It's a bit embarrassing,” she said, fidgeting with her hands and confirming Satoshi's suspicions.

“Here, have a seat,” Satoshi interjected, indicating the chair in front of the detective's desk. The woman sat on the chair clumsily. Detective Yamamoto prompted the girl with a questioning look, as she still expected an answer to her question.

“My name is Junko and I'm a student at Shimokawa University. I've got a crush on a classmate, Kenji.”

“What's the problem?” asked the detective.

“Well, he likes girly girls, and I'm...” She trailed off as she gestured to herself, indicating her tomboyish physique. Satoshi could see where this was going, but he decided to put all the cards on the table.

“So how exactly can we help you?” Satoshi asked. He felt he could puzzle it out, but making assumptions had caused trouble before.

“I was hoping you might help me win him over.” The detective leaned back in her chair, bridged her fingers across her stomach, and regarded Junko.

“Seems interesting,” said Detective Yamamoto. “What can you tell me about Kenji?” Junko's eyes seemed to light up.

“A lot! He's studying for a degree in chemistry, he's a really smart guy. He's a member of the judo club and he's been one for a couple years, that's how I first met him. He had a girlfriend up until a few months ago. She was a really girly type, but she broke up with him.” Detective Yamamoto thought for a moment as Junko continued to ramble.

“I think I know what to do,” she said, sitting forward in her chair again. “If you're right and Kenji prefers girly girls, then we'll have to help you be more girly.” Junko looked slightly apprehensive, as if this could involve unsavory methods.

“What exactly do you mean?” Junko asked. Detective Yamamoto shrugged.

“Just a couple little things. A slight change in temperament and behavior, a new set of clothes, stuff like that.” Junko nodded.

“I think I can manage that,” she said. “Where do we start?”

“The mall of course!” replied the detective, standing up from behind her desk. “If you want to be more girly, first you need to look the part!” She began to walk towards the door before she remembered just how little she was wearing and gave definitive proof to everyone else. “We'll leave in ten minutes!” she declared.

The detective's estimate turned out to be rather optimistic. After fifteen minutes had elapsed, Satoshi took it upon himself to wrangle the detective. All the talk about fashion had inspired the detective to take a bit more pride in her appearance, despite the extra cost in time.

“Assistant,” she asked, holding up two bow ties. “Which do you think I should wear?” One was the purple bow tie she habitually wore. The other was a slightly repulsive red and navy blue plaid bow tie that contrasted horribly with the rest of her outfit.

“That one,” said Satoshi without giving it much thought and gesturing indistinctly.

“I thought you might say that,” said the detective, opting for the ugly bow tie. Satoshi sighed to himself, walking to where Junko waited with the detective a few paces behind him.
“I think we're all ready, right?” asked Satoshi, looking between Junko and Detective Yamamoto. Both women nodded. Satoshi opened the door in preparation to leave when he found that someone was preparing to knock on the door. She gasped in surprise.

“Oh, Airi,” said Satoshi. “What are you you doing here?” She smiled and held up a flat box.

“I was cooking last night and made too much food,” she said. “I thought you might like some lunch.” Satoshi took the proffered package and smiled in return.

“Thank you,” he replied. Airi’s gaze shifted to Junko.

“Oh, am I interrupting a case?” She sounded worried.

“Not really,” Satoshi said. “We were just on our way to get working on one.”

“What’s the hold up?” asked Detective Yamamoto from inside the office as she approached from behind. “Oh, Airi,” she said flatly. Airi raised her hands in a conciliatory manner.

“Don’t mind me, I was just passing by,” said Airi. Detective Yamamoto ushered everyone out of the office and locked the door behind her.

“We are too. We’ve got a case to solve,” said the detective, putting her office key in her pocket. The trio started to depart when when Airi called after them.

“When do you think you’ll have this case solved?” Satoshi turned to reply.

“If Detective Yamamoto’s record is anything to go by, a few days at most.”

“Wanna grab coffee when you’re done?” Satoshi smiled.

“Sure!”

~~~

After leaving Airi behind, Detective Yamamoto, Satoshi and Junko could now carry out their plan. The first step was to help Junko acquire a new, more feminine wardrobe, or at least an outfit or two to ask Kenji out on a date and carry through with it. Unfortunately, this necessitated visiting that most odious of places: the mall. Satoshi, in his experience, did not frequently patronize malls and he did not intend to change this, but helping out the client came first.

The first stumbling block, in Satoshi's mind, was the distance to the mall. He didn’t have a car, and while the detective technically did, Satoshi did not relish the opportunity to set foot in that rusted deathtrap. Somewhat mercifully, the most direct route to the mall consisted of mainly straight shots down fairly open roads, thus minimizing the chances of a disastrous outcome due to the detective’s idiosyncratic manner of driving.

After screeching to a halt in the parking lot, Satoshi shakily stepped out to get some fresh air and to try and stay outside of his breakfast. Junko, however, seemed to fair much better.

“You certainly know how to drive, detective.” said Junko. Satoshi wasn’t sure whether she was being sarcastic, and frankly, he feared she wasn’t.

“Thank you!” replied the detective, taking it as a compliment nonetheless.

Satoshi reflected upon walking through the entrance that it was somewhat fortuitous that this particular case had happened when it did. The mall was sparsely populated, and Satoshi hoped that this would translate to all the various clothing stores as well.

“So where do we go first?” asked Junko. Detective Yamamoto responded silently by walking up to a map of the mall. She put her hand to her chin and squinted as she attempted to decipher it. Satoshi and Junko belatedly followed her.

As Satoshi took a look at the map, it seemed as though Detective Yamamoto wasn’t struggling to find a clothing store so much as struggling to pick a clothing store to go to first, as there was a plethora to choose from.

“Do any of these look appealing?” the detective asked. Junko shook her head.

“I’m as lost as you are.” The two woman turned to Satoshi as though they expected a credible answer from him.

“I wouldn’t know any better than either of you,” Satoshi said.

“Then let’s go here,” said the detective, stabbing a finger down onto the map blindly. She pulled away her finger to look at the store she selected. “Perpetually 22,” she said.

“It’s worth a shot,” Satoshi shrugged.

Perpetually 22, as it turned out, might be just the store they were looking for. Based on the clientele and the mannequins in the storefront, it seemed as though Perpetually 22 served precisely Junko’s demographic.

The trio stood in front of the entrance with some hesitancy, if only because Junko seemed to be having second thoughts.

“Are you sure I need a whole new wardrobe?” she asked. Detective Yamamoto was adamant.

“Yep,” the detective said simply. “It can’t be avoided.” Junko still seemed a little hesitant, but before she could voice any disagreement, Detective Yamamoto grabbed her by the arm and dragged her inside bodily. Satoshi took a more sedate approach to entering the store.

Immediately, the trio were greeted by one of the sales representatives. She was a peppy looking girl perhaps a few years younger than any of them.

“Welcome to Perpetually 22!” she exclaimed cheerfully. “How can I help you?”

“Hello,” said Satoshi, taking the initiative. “We're here to get my friend here a few new outfits.” The saleswoman swiftly looked Junko up and down.

“Perfect!” she said in the same tone of forced joviality common to all salesmen. “Our sportswear department is right this way. Follow me please.”

“Actually,” Junko interrupted, “I was interested in something a little more girly.” The saleswoman blinked as she assimilated this new information and calculated a more suitable approach.

“In the case,” she said, now slightly less certain and forthright than before, “please follow me this way.” The saleswoman led the trio down a wide open walkway with racks of clothing on both sides before stopping at a large section. The saleswoman turned back to face her customers.

“Will you need any help picking out clothes?” she asked, clasping her hands together in front of her body. Satoshi, Detective Yamamoto, and Junko all looked at one another.

“No, I think we can handle it,” said the detective. The saleswoman nodded and began walking back to her post.

“Wonderful! Please let me know if you need anything.” After the woman walked off, Junko turned to face Detective Yamamoto and her assistant.

“Where do we begin?” she asked. In perfect synchronicity, Detective Yamamoto and Satoshi raised their hands to their respective chins.

“I think we should start with a nice dress,” said the detective. “Something to show off your legs. That'll get Kenji's attention.”

“A dress?” Junko repeated. There was a note of incredulity in her voice.

“Of course,” replied the detective. “What better way to show off your femininity than by wearing a nice dress?” Junko didn't seem convinced.

“Couldn't we start with something else?” she asked. The detective was adamant. She shook her head with authority.

“Nope, it's got to be a dress.” Before Junko had an opportunity to protest, the detective grabbed her by the arm and dragged her over to a rack of clothes. Without waiting for Junko's input, the detective started picking things from the rack and passing them over to Satoshi, who dutifully stood off to one side to carry the ever-increasing pile of things the detective thought might look nice. Detective Yamamoto stood back to admire the pile of clothes she had accumulated, then she grabbed one from the top of the pile and passed it to Junko.

“Here, try this on.” The poor girl suddenly resembled a small animal just realizing that it was sitting directly in the path of a large motor vehicle.

“Try this on?” she asked. “In public?”

“Well, you go into the changing room first,” the detective said, missing the point with determination.

“Right,” said Junko, wrong footed by the apparent density of the detective. She tentatively grabbed the dress from Detective Yamamoto's outstretched hand as though it might rear back and bite her. “I'll be out in a minute.”

One minute passed, then another, and then five. Detective Yamamoto had taken to tapping her foot, and when that proved ineffective, she started pacing by the clothing rack.

“Hey, assistant,” said the detective. “Can you go check on her?”

“What?” asked Satoshi. He had heard what the detective had asked him to do, but he didn't quite believe that he had really heard what he thought he heard.

“She's taking a long time!” whined the detective. “Can you go check on her?”

“Detective,” Satoshi started gingerly. “I can't just go into the women's changing room.” Detective Yamamoto sighed and crossed her arms, and resumed tapping her foot. The silence, prompted by the detective, began to stretch to an uncomfortable length.

“Alright, fine,” Satoshi grumbled, finally bending to the inevitable. He cautiously approached the women's changing room. Obviously he couldn't just go waltzing in. No doubt if he did just walk in, events would conspire to get him into all sorts of trouble. It frankly wasn't worth the risk. He craned his head around the corner.

“Junko!” Satoshi called, trying at once to keep his voice down and sound urgent. Junko didn't respond so he called again.

“What?” she said eventually, after a pause.

“Are you almost done changing? The detective's getting impatient.” There was another considerable silence, presumably as Junko formulated her answer.

“I don't think I can come out like this. Can you send the detective in?” Satoshi sighed and went back over to the detective.

“She wants you to go in,” he said without preamble.

“Me?” the detective said incredulously. She thought about it for a moment and then relented, plodding into the changing room while Satoshi stood outside. He heard muffled sounds emanating from the changing room. It sounded almost like an argument devolving into a scuffle. As he peered around the edge of the changing room corridor’s entrance, he saw Detective Yamamoto struggling in vain to dislodge Junko. She had changed, but had also firmly planted her feet and was refusing to leave. Detective Yamamoto’s tenacity eventually began to tell as Junko was worn down, ultimately losing her grip and plunging out into the open.

When the detective had succeeded in dragging her out of the dressing room, Satoshi saw very little reason for her to actually feel embarrassed. The outfit she had tried on first was a rather fetching dress. It wasn't particularly short or tight-fitting, but Junko certainly acted as if it were both, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

“What do you think?” she asked, simultaneously sounding like she didn't really want an answer and that she hoped it looked bad so she could take it off. Detective Yamamoto cupped her chin with one hand.

“It's a start,” she said noncommittally. “You'd have to try something else on for me to judge.”

“If you insist!” exclaimed Junko, moving towards the dressing room with almost indecent haste, not even waiting for privacy before starting to strip the dress off. A few minutes passed as Junko changed into the next outfit. This time, she didn't have to be prompted to come out and show off how she looked.

The second outfit, Satoshi thought, suited Junko a lot more. Rather than being a dress, which likely would have been too big a change from what she usually wore, the outfit was instead more of a middle ground. It consisted of a long skirt that fell past the knee and a blouse with multiple layers that folder over one another and had only a minimal amount of frills. Detective Yamamoto raised an eyebrow at this outfit.

“This one isn't bad either.” mused the detective.

“I guess I like it more,” said Junko, twirling slightly, making the skirt billow. Without additional prompting, Junko retreated back into the changing room in preparation to try on another outfit.

Satoshi felt his eyes beginning to glaze over. Once the initial excitement had passed, he became painfully aware that the entire process of shopping for clothes was terminally dull. He was only snapped out of his torpor by the detective snapping her fingers and waving one hand in front of his face.

“Assistant? Assistant!” said the detective. When Satoshi’s eyes refocused and he glanced up at the detective she continued speaking. “We’ve got the outfits. We’re calling it a day, and we've made plans to regroup tomorrow.” Satoshi internally sighed in relief as he began to follow Junko and the detective.

 “Thank you for shopping with us, come again!” said the bubbly saleswoman to the retreating backs of her three customers.