Detective Yamamoto's Dating Service For Eligible Bachelorettes Part 2

WEDNESDAY

As had been agreed upon previously, Detective Yamamoto and Satoshi met Junko in a small public park. As the detective had promised, the park was deserted save for them, thus saving Junko any extra potential embarrassment. As things stood, she was embarrassed enough wearing the sundress they had ultimately decided on, but Detective Yamamoto hoped to break her of that habit, in no small part by intimating that Kenji might really like sundresses.

“First things first,” said the detective, adopting the tone and demeanor of a drill sergeant. “Posture is key.”

“My posture?” asked Junko confused. “What needs to change about my posture?” Detective Yamamoto produced a small wooden rod like a conductor’s baton and used it to poke, prod, and shift Junko. The detective made subtle adjustments to how Junko held herself so that she accentuated her own figure. The detective took a few steps back and used her fingers to make a frame around Junko, blocking out everything else. She closed one eye and scrutinized her new posture, like a pretentious artist might admire an abstract sculpture.

“This is good for a start,” said Detective Yamamoto. “Try walking towards me.” Detective Yamamoto analyzed Junko as she took one step forward before throwing up a hand for her to stop.

“What is it now?” asked Junko. Satoshi was keenly aware that a note of irritation had entered her voice. Detective Yamamoto pointed downwards towards Junko’s waist.

“You have hips, yeah?” Junko, wrong-footed by the detective’s apparent non-sequitur, nodded. “Well, use them!” exclaimed the detective. To demonstrate her point, she began to walk and made sure the exaggerate the motion of her hips as she walked. Junko adopted her regular posture, as though it occurred to her that she might be the subject of a practical joke.

“You can’t be serious,” she said flatly. The detective, who had been walking in a wide circuit, stopped and turned to Junko. She looked affronted briefly, and then adopted an expression of impassiveness.

“I guess not. After all, I’m not the one looking for help to get a boyfriend,” said the detective, glancing down as though her fingernails had suddenly become more interesting. Satoshi feared that Detective Yamamoto might have touched a nerve, but he was quickly proven to be jumping the gun. Junko thought about it and relented.

“You’re right, you’re right,” she sighed. “Alright, you want me to walk like this?” She tried to imitate the detective in a way she felt was as serious as possible. Detective Yamamoto inspected her from every angle.

“It’s a good start.”

‘It’s a good start’ turned out to be a very prophetic phrase as Satoshi was to learn. Posture and swaying her hips had merely been the first lesson. Detective Yamamoto, over the course of the entire day had also intended to teach her how to sit, how to laugh, how to appropriately fawn over a significant other, and all sorts of other inane things that Satoshi sincerely doubted Kenji would ever notice or care about to any significant degree.

“I think this will be the last lesson for today,” said Detective Yamamoto. She paused for dramatic effect. She gestured for Satoshi to walk over next to Junko. “Assistant, if you please.”

“What’s the last lesson?” asked Junko, taking the bait.

“Handholding!” the detective declared, clasping her hands together to punctuate her statement. Satoshi didn’t see it firsthand, but he could certainly feel the embarrassment radiating off of Junko like heat from an incandescent light bulb. Upon reflection, it might have been his own embarrassment too.

“Handholding?” he asked, hoping he might have misheard. By way of explanation, Detective Yamamoto approached the pair, seized each of the hands by the wrists, and touched them together in the same manner that a carjacker would hot wire a car by connecting a live wire to a de-energized circuit. If Junko had been radiating heat like a light bulb before, she was a furnace now, and her embarrassment was rubbing off on Satoshi, who felt his face turn red.

“You guys aren’t doing it right,” grumbled the detective. “You have to interlace your fingers! Do it like this!” To demonstrate, she took Satoshi’s hand and wiggled her fingers in between his. She held up the conflux of their hands and showed if off to Junko. “Now you do it!” She dropped Satoshi’s hand and looked expectantly at the pair.

Tentatively, Junko made the first move, grabbing Satoshi’s wrist with one hand as though she expected it might wriggle and escape. With her free hand, she briefly touched her fingers to his and drew away, as if she had just touched a live wire. Slowly, and agonizingly slow from Satoshi’s perspective, she mimicked the detective until she and Satoshi were holding hands. Satoshi thought he could feel Junko’s frantic heartbeat from her hand, but he couldn’t be entirely sure that he wasn’t just feeling his own.

“There, you’ve got it! You guys are naturals,” said Detective Yamamoto, winking at them. If Junko had been a furnace before, she was downright molten now. Satoshi’s and Junko’s hands parted like two poles on repulsive magnets that had been forced into close proximity. Satoshi coughed uncomfortably and Junko turned away from him, clearly red in the face. Detective Yamamoto glanced down at her watch.

“Wow, it’s been a long day, huh?” she asked. “I guess we can call it a day. You should have everything you need now.”

~~~

The walk back to Detective Yamamoto's office was spent devising a strategy for tomorrow, as it was decided that Junko would confess to Kenji. If he was being honest with himself, Satoshi wasn't confident in the plan, if the word plan even applied to the loose assortment of ideas and goals they had cobbled together. As the detective and Satoshi parted ways with Junko, she seemed more confident than she had been when they first met her. This wasn't saying much, of course, but it was definitely a good sign.

“Well,” said the detective. “It looks like we've got a busy day tomorrow.”
“I'll say,” sighed Satoshi. “I'll meet you back here tomorrow morning?” Detective Yamamoto nodded.

“We'll meet here and then head over to Shimokawa University.” Satoshi nodded in agreement and began to walk home.

THURSDAY

The meeting between Satoshi, Junko, and Detective Yamamoto at the detective agency had been brief. They had convened early in the morning just long enough to establish a rough plan of action for how they hoped the day would go down. Nothing was set in stone, of course, as it was essentially a given that things would deviate from the plan almost as soon as it was enacted. Nevertheless, if anyone had any complaints, they didn't have any solutions or anything constructive to add.

The car ride to Shimokawa University was quiet. An air of tension suffused the car, and as was frequently the case, Satoshi felt he had to break the silence. He settled for clearing his throat. Detective Yamamoto pulled her car into the commuter parking lot and engaged the parking brake.

“Time to face the music,” said the detective, shutting off her car. The three exited the car. Satoshi stretched his legs. Junko smoothed out the front of her sundress.

“I guess we had better take up our positions,” Satoshi said. The others swiftly agreed. The three of them walked into the large campus courtyard situated between a group of academic buildings. Detective Yamamoto took Junko and the two of them took up a position off on the periphery, generally away from prying eyes. Satoshi took to his role as the bait, walking through the courtyard. As had been discussed, it was his job to find Kenji and keep him in one place, but so far he wasn't seeing him. Satoshi spared a glance to the detective. She merely shook her head, indicating she wasn't seeing Kenji either.

Satoshi was starting to feel a little frustrated when, seemingly at random, dozens of people began to leave the academic buildings and pour into the courtyard. He looked to the detective and Junko again. Detective Yamamoto turned to her client, who nodded. The detective, in turn, nodded to Satoshi. He began to scan through the crowd. For a moment he was unsuccessful, but someone caught his eye. Kenji, or who Satoshi assumed to be Kenji, was exactly as Junko had described. Dark hair, glasses, wiry build. He wore clothing generally more formal than the rest of the student body. Satoshi began to walk towards him and adopted an approachable and conversational disposition.

“Excuse me,” said Satoshi, once he was in comfortable conversation range. “Are you Kenji?” Kenji stopped walking and turned slightly to face Satoshi.

“I am. Do I know you?”

“No, you wouldn't know me. I heard you were a friend of Junko. Do you know where she is?” Kenji gave Satoshi a quizzical look.

“No, not lately. She's been busy.”

“Oh, alright,” said Satoshi, rubbing the back of his head with his left hand. That was the signal. Just as they had planned and practiced, Junko began walking towards the pair. Kenji seemed to be just about to say something when Junko caught his eye. He turned to look at her and then turned back to address Satoshi, but he had already slunk off during the distraction.

“Good morning Kenji,” said Junko. She made sure to walk and flutter her eyelids as the detective had taught her. As Satoshi crept away, he endeavored to remain inconspicuous but stay within earshot.

“Morning Junko,” replied Kenji. He seemed slightly puzzled, as if he had noticed something was not quite right, but couldn't pinpoint what precisely or why. “Hey, some guy was looking for you.” When he noticed Satoshi had up and vanished, he glanced around.

“Never mind that right now,” said Junko. “I wanted to talk to you. It's important.” Kenji turned his head back in her direction, but he still seemed slightly puzzled.

“Okay, what did you want to talk about?” Junko took a deep breath and seemed to muster every ounce of her resolve.

“Kenji, I love you!” she said, bowing her head down. “Please go out with me!” Kenji looked surprised for a moment as if he had been expecting something entirely different.

“Sure,” he replied simply. He gestured over to one of the other academic buildings. “I've got another class in a few minutes. Wanna walk with me?” Junko's face, which had been wearing an expression of concentration, softened into a smile.

“Let's go,” she said.

“You know,” said Kenji, as he and Junko began to walk off, “I was wondering when you were going to make a move.” The conversation between the two started to fade into the background noise of the campus. “By the way, are you trying out a new look?”

“I guess you could say that,” replied Junko.

“That's a shame,” said Kenji. “You look cute, but I thought you were always cute anyways.”

Satoshi took a wide lap of the campus courtyard and met up with Detective Yamamoto, who wore an unmistakable expression of satisfaction.

“Looks like everything worked out,” said the detective.

“I'll say. Congrats on another job well done,” Satoshi replied.

~~~

Satoshi sat down heavily in the chair opposite Airi at the cafe table.

“Busy day?” she asked, smiling. She slid a cup of coffee across the table. “I’ve already ordered for you.” Satoshi nodded at the question and offered his thanks at the statement.

“Against all odds, things turned out alright.” Airi leaned forward in her chair.

“Tell me everything,” she said.

FRIDAY

Satoshi answered the insistent knocking at the door. When he opened it, he was mildly surprised to find Junko. She was dressed as was usual for her; something vaguely athletic. She was also accompanied by Kenji, to whom Satoshi nodded at politely.

“Good morning,” Satoshi said. “Can I help you?” Junko shook her head and briefly glanced at her boyfriend.

“You and the detective have already done plenty,” she said, smiling. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded envelope. “I just wanted to drop this off.” Satoshi accepted the envelope.

“Oh, thank you,” he said, looking down at the envelope in his hands. When he looked up, Junko and Kenji had already started walking away. Satoshi returned to the detective’s office and tossed the envelope on her desk.

“Don’t worry, no new client.” he said. “Junko stopped by with Kenji to drop this off.” Detective Yamamoto looked up and reached for the letter. She tore the envelope open and removed the contents. In addition to the letter was a check, which the detective immediately stashed in her desk. She took a moment to read the letter and smiled to herself.

“Well, that was very nice,” she said, also placing the letter into her desk.

“What did Junko say?” Satoshi asked.

 “Nothing too important,” said Detective Yamamoto, still smiling to herself. “It’s just thanks and payment for a job well done.”