Layer 1 - Illusion: Memory 0 - DISSASSOCIATION

Because this website is stupidly limited and constantly changes my format, I have removed the original format and text effects. Some things may not make sense because of this. However, I've added subtle alternatives to replace these. W.I.P DRAFT - WILL HAVE ERRORS. READ OUR READER'S GUIDE IF YOU'RE STUCK WITH HOW TO READ WITH THE WRITING STYLE AND SPECIAL GRAMMAR (ALTHOUGH SOME RULES/STYLISTIC TEXT ARE DIFFERENT IN EVERY CHAPTER DUE TO THE LIMITS). Summary: Right aligned text in bold is extra simultaneous background information.

I AM LOOKING FOR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, GOOD AND BAD.

C.W: NONE

MUSIC PLAYLIST (choose): https://open.spotify.com/playlist/32y4BlBSZN7ZRxJnuFbzWE?si=74JF1f39QU2VNgy0T1uK-g

Layer 1: Illusion (Memory 0: DISSASSOCIATION)

My heart sinks with each breath I take.

Fuzziness envelops, strings my mind with lost memories.

Dreams draw my reality with an ink of lucid black and illusion.

Lavender fog devoid of real light distorts worlds I knew.

Anew.

Suspended in the absence of gravity, my numb body drifts through a boundless kaleidoscope. I see silhouetted endless bodies of myself, drifting like unused space waste. They all appear identically fragmented and disordered like a broken puzzle—some parts older, some younger, some distorting into bodies I’ve never lived through before. Their flesh, their bones, their skin...torn-apart. And...I—I try to look at my hand, but...my heart stops. My breath fastens.

All I see, is another broken mess of my body—inverted. Folded like different paper shapes. Unrecognisable, a mess in time between different ages, the same as the rest—parts of me, too—missing like them...

The sort of—abyss around me is engulfed in a hypnotic fog (some parts faint, some parts thick) of a dreamy type of...lavender. Something about it feels illusional—but—but when I try to think of the answer, my mind loops back to the question.

The lavender spirals an endlessly patterned universe of both make-believe and reality, safe like Home (exactly how I remember it). The kaleidoscopes mixed from two ocean-like worlds that spiral from the distant, deep dark like whirlpools, split apart and timeless. The red-pink jelly-like ocean is full of distortions and things in a psychedelic, sunny wild red; patterns ‘n worlds that all feel fake but anemoic. The other ocean, blue?, seems normal, but it’s almost rose-tinted in a way that makes it appear purplish—and the distortions in it are a deep midnight, calm blue pattern. Silhouettes of memories nostalgic. The reds are painted perfect with make-believe disorder in them, while the blues are painted imperfect but seem real with order. Their distinctive beauty pulls me into a trance, and unnoticably, I’ve been drifting forward. Some sort of—hallucination phases through me, and I feel it’s vibrations distort my nerves.

Sluggishly growing throughout the abyss feasts a seemingly endless, gargantuan lavender worm-like creature. But it flickers, as if it’s a memory from the past or a dying star, struggling to keep it’s form. It sprawls it’s vastly entangled body around the kaleidoscope like organs or brain cells, and deep into the dark depths of the unknown. The worm’s body is hallucinatory, split like a crack in psychedelic reds and blues (struggling to touch) that, both halves, clone endlessly like the blurred edges of a hallucination, and into their matching ocean where their split bodies are reformed into new smaller worms, scribbling red and blue, like mirrors to the split worm.

The creature dances in and out of phase, shifting between it’s trippy bodies looping in an endless, hypnotic rhythm.

From it and others deep below, distant breaths erupt heavy distortions that echo in vibrations through the timeless dark beyond the fog. Their sounds play like a lullaby and soothe my mind.

Along the main body in the lavender of the kaleidoscope, these GIANT lavender eyes protect (I can see it in them), emanating that same entrancing starry lavender, both fog and light—like an angel’s...—…………………

And—around the void, I see similar eyes that shine darkness as if exposing the illusions (when I thought they would shine lavender). Over a black background (which is just like everything here), their lavender pupils spiral like endless flower illusions. But they lack sclera. Their gaze is everything (whether I like it or not. Scary…).

Sprinkled along its body, melted rips and hollow gaps of nothingness spread wider, gaping wounds in reality itself. But I can’t tell what’s missing. I can’t even begin to imagine what should be there.

Nebulas ‘n galaxies spiral and spin across a frozen starry night sky—like a piece of abstract and stylised art.

I move where my hand should be. I’ve lost my sense of direction and can’t control it, but I move forward faster as if I’m swimming, and I can feel it like phantom sense.

Naturally, I try to hold my breath. But I don’t have a breath to begin with.

I squirm and keep swimming (forcefully) forward through the lavender as distant illuminated buildings blur into view.

Memories... They take shape as torn-apart structures and objects in flickering bubbles, twisting in contrasting lively lights. The ones that reach the lavender area out of their belonging blue-purple ocean reach in waves.

I swim through particles of lost dreams that wander the void, in awe of the colourful atmosphere. It all feels like an out of body experience.

Flexible ethereal strings in, out, and from the worm lit in bright lavender, playfully weave through this Home, binding everything like tangled chains. But safe :}

I feel a warm, gentle wind, harmonizing with the lost sunrise.

And from the red-pink ocean, childhood lingers.

It may be small and pretend but it’s real to me.

In distortions, plastic stars shine bright as if they were alive—back when “far away” still felt reachable. Tiny planets float in quiet unimportance, colourful clay creatures and doodles float, lost, clumsily crafted from forgotten creativity. Discarded toys waiting to be picked up again, fake clouds in silly shapes of my own worlds, and hanging nursery lights play around the nursery void mid-motion.

Waiting to be picked up again...

I feel a warm, gentle wind, harmonizing with the lost sunrise.

Gibberish voices whisper around me. From—below? From above?

Then, two barely identifiable words overlap in a multi-echoing distortion. Two names. One person.

“Neri…” 

 “Bliss…”

I only make one thing out of it.

Who am I today? No body. Just my brain and my choices.

Their voice strays off into the depths of the fog. In its place, a flood of unintelligible whispers creeps back in—infestations and ripples of sound gnawing through the silence without clarity.

Torn lakes flow, fragmented in the lavender. They mirror stars among nothing.

So...unreal... So...far... So...so...so...close

Surreal, unrecognizable shapes watch me from the edges of reality. Obscure patterns of nothingness stalk my every move, shifting when I do, following in a mind-bending way I just can’t describe.

Up ahead in my direction, I spot some sort of scribbling black in the shape of a door. The door is distorting in flickering static, chaotically warping and defying physics.

Getting closer, I observe the homely and safe memories in sentiment.

My vision feels numb with stings of a pain like no other. I don’t even know if I have eyes...

Then, as I begin to drift into the darkness, I think I can see it…?

Beyond the door, something catches my eye—something...familiar.

Oh my god… I recognise it…

The darkness lurches me forward—resisting when I finally manage to twist my way even in the direction of Home above……………… It jolts me in with a violent force, and suddenly, time begins to shatter. Gravity unravels, and I can’t get away…

The pressure surges against my eyes, desperate to focus, to hide.Then—something cracks.

A sharp, splitting darkness, powerfully erupts from deep within my mind. Like a fracture in thought, it spreads.

Somewhere in my mind.

I see it-

An instant flood of a chaotic neon melts around the throbbing magical lavender that flashes into my silent ears? A serene blue forms from the NEON! and distorts into and over the lavender. It begins to form a tranquil blue figure in a younger version of me—Bliss. Quietly, the blue shadow gently grabs my hands and opens me to a sense of warmth. “Shhh...it’s all gonna be okay... I’m gonna need you to trust me here, alright?” The blue shadow almost whispers—in an all-knowing raspy old adult’s voice.

His presence calms my brain, even if just a little bit. I hesitate to blurt out a sound. But I remember something, then let out a small nod. I then remember I don’t even have a head to nod, but despite that, he seems to let out a gentle smile.“Wasn’t it nice?”

"The past…?"I think as a whisper.

He nods.

"Can you…hear me…?"

He points around as if saying “in here”.

“But yeah… It was—perfect…"

He lets out a light chuckle, but then stops. Something flickers in his eyes and smile. “It was nice, I’ll tell you that. Come… One last time on the road?”

I grin and close my eyes?, taking his hand. “One more time on the road!”

Blue fog and blue light grow thicker and overpowers the f o g and? melts within the throbbing magical neon? My retinas pulse and laugh and live and die? Strings, colours, tangle, stretch my mind? The lavender and blue flashes into my silent ears? My neon colours faint like a brighter scared light? Time enlarging a shattering mirror-like memory inside the blue light? Bubble? He distorts and the memory warps a warping car—guiding my fingers into the bubble—reflecting a broken body of nothing with a face of nothing, can’t remembered, blaring through our poisoned will brain like electrified strings.