Chapter 16

“How did you know about it?”, Xiaolian, or rather Naomi, asked quietly.

I was pretty sure it was she who was talking, but I didn’t dare ask, not sure how she would react. But using her name, even if only in my head, made her more real for me, and that mattered a lot.

We sat on the makeshift bed on the floor in our room. We had decided that Farah would stay with us, not daring to separate, but I couldn’t focus on our conversation, feeling so exposed in my nightgown, and I kept pulling it down over my legs.

Farah shifted where she sat, stretching her arms, and I forced myself to look away.

“When they patched me back together, Dr Akane took me in. I had nowhere to go.”

She shivered, and a wave of nausea flooded my body as she mentioned my aunt's name. Was she… Was she even my real aunt…?

“As I grew older, I started to help her with her research. She was open about it… They pushed the boundaries of ethics but never really crossed them, or at least I thought so back then.”

I listened to her talking with sickening dread, becoming dizzy, and I gasped for air. Naomi shuffled closer and leaned into me, and her cold body offered me some comfort.

“Until last year, I believed they were doing something good…”

She turned her gaze away and fell silent. I wanted to ask what had happened last year, but one glance at her pulling her knees to her chest stopped the question from leaving my mouth. Silence fell over the room until I hesitantly said,

“It’s late… Maybe we should go to bed.”

She nodded, relieved.

“Yeah, let’s get some rest…”

I hesitantly reached out and took her hand, and Xiaolian took the other.

“It's okay…”, I whispered, daring to lean into her.

“Thank you..."

She sighed, and her body relaxed as Xiaolian rested her head on her shoulder.

“We should rest,” she murmured, but none of us dared to move, and we sat like that, huddled together. It felt so good… It felt so real… And for the first time since I arrived at the institute, I felt safe and at peace.

Finally, Farah broke the embrace and lay back on her improvised bed, and we got up and went to our beds. I gave them one last glance before turning off the light, and darkness fell over the room. I stared up at the dark ceiling. Farah had told us we would leave after breakfast, hoping that the arriving students would take the attention from us. But what if they already knew? No, Farah was right. If they did, they could have taken us down in the bunker. We were safe here… We were safe… I heard the others tossing and turning for a long while, but in the end, I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up when my alarm rang.

It took me a moment to orient myself, and for a brief second, everything that had happened just felt like a bad dream. But one glance at Farah sitting on the floor reminded me of what we had seen, sending cold chills down my spine. It was real…. And that meant…

I glanced at Xiaolian sitting on her bed, and I shivered.

“Morning, Yuna."

She smiled and bounced up from her bed. I blinked. Who was she this time?

“It will be okay...”

Farah tried to smile as she pulled the duvet to the side, and I got up and walked over to the wardrobe to get dressed. We didn’t dare pack anything, fearing it would draw too much attention, so we would leave with what we normally wore for a walk. I put my phone and wallet in my pocket and glanced at Xiaolian.

At least she had agreed to put some normal clothes under her onesie and change once we’d left the estate. Even she knew how impractical it would be to hike to the closest town in it. I hadn’t found a way to take any shoes for her, but she seemed unbothered by it.

When our watches pinged, we looked at each other and left, slowly walking to the cafeteria. It would be okay. It would be okay… Xiaolian’s hand brushed against mine, and I looked at her, surprised as she took my hand in hers. Who was she this time? How many others did she have? But I smiled back, finding a strange comfort in her presence.

When we entered the cafeteria, a wave of noise washed over me. Many new students had arrived last night, but I was sure more would come soon. The hall wasn’t even half empty, and tomorrow our semester would officially begin.

We picked up our food and sat at a table near the entrance, but the knot in my stomach and the growing uneasiness of what would come took away my appetite. It would be okay… It would be okay…

“You should eat something, Yuna.”

Farah glanced at me. I nodded, but still couldn’t touch my food. At least whoever Xiaolian was right now didn’t have such problems, and I smiled watching her devour her meal. Should I ask her for her name…? I glanced around. No, not here. Later …

I tried to eat, but in the end, I just waited until breakfast finished so we could mingle with the students leaving the cafeteria. I kept glancing around, looking for Madame Faber, but she was nowhere around. Even if I dreaded seeing her, I would have preferred to know where she was, but I tried to tell myself she was probably busy with the arriving students or supervising something for the upcoming semester. But the growing uneasiness on Farah’s face chilled me to the core, and the walls of the cafeteria started to close in on me, drowning me in the background noise. I gasped for air.

“It will be okay, Yuna,” she whispered, brushing her hand against mine.

I sighed, trying to push away the growing uneasiness until Farah finally nodded, and we got up and joined a group of students passing our table. My heart was pounding as we reached the main hall, and I glanced at the heavy wooden door. It was open.

"I-I can show you around if you want…”

Farah's voice seemed to echo in the hall. It sounded so unnatural, and I hesitantly glanced around. Had anyone noticed it? She gestured for us, and I was sure my gait was awkward and unnatural as she led us to the door. I held my breath as we reached it, passing a small group of freshmen hanging around the entrance. I could feel their curious gazes as their eyes fell on Xiaolian. I took her hand and pulled her closer, trying to ignore the laughter that followed us as we walked behind the mansion.

Only when we were out of sight did I dare to take a breath. My neck hurt with all the tension I held, but when Farah turned to me, I just nodded and jerked my head towards the path, not wanting to worry her with my shaky voice.

It would be okay, I told myself, holding on to Xiaolian’s hand as we carefully walked towards the distant woods. It would be okay. We had found each other… We were whole… She leaned into me, and I inhaled her soft rose scent and let it soothe my mind. It would be okay…

We arrived at the woods unseen, and I could feel myself relax. It was colder here, and the air was damp and smelt of pines, and I was relieved we were finally out of anyone's sight. Farah halted and turned to us.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded and tried to smile, feeling exhausted. Xiaolian let go of my hand and looked around.

“It is so beautiful here, I love this place.”

She smiled, unable to hide her excitement. It wasn’t Xiaolian, it was that other girl… What was her name? Sneha…? Involuntarily, I smiled, watching her. She seemed so happy… Could you be happy even if you are not real? The sudden thought passed through my mind, and I shivered, staring at the ground. Was I real?

“It's okay, Yuna, soon we will be out of here. Don’t worry.”

I nodded, and we continued down the path, deeper and deeper into the forest until I finally could see the tall wall through the trees and the decorative metal gate at the end of our path.

“We made it…”

I smiled and sighed with relief, running to the gate when I was suddenly jerked back by a pull at my core, and the veil of light burst open before my eyes. It only lasted for a moment, but I stumbled and fell to the ground. My vision was still blurry when I opened my eyes, but I shivered when I saw her cold blue eyes looking into mine.

“Good girls don’t run like this… You could have hurt yourself, Yuna,” she said with a smile, and a sharp pain exploded in my wrist, and everything went black.