Keeping Abreast of the Situation

Jules and Ryan both screamed when they realized the other was with them in the shower. Naked.

He pulled his towel off the shower, burying his head in it as Ryan’s voice screamed in his ear. “Why are you in here?!”

“I’m taking a shower! Why do you have boobs?!”

“BECAUSE I’M A WOMAN!”

“I CAN SEE THAT, WHY ARE YOU A WOMAN?!”

The screaming abated as the towel was ripped off his face and shoved around his waist. Then he was spun around to a clearly irate Ryan, who’d wrapped a towel around herself. “I didn’t want to pretend to be a guy. But this was the only way they’d let me on the show.”

“Why in the hell,” asked Jules, “would they let a woman compete on a show to date a woman against men? I mean, do we even know if Kristina’s into chicks like that?”

“Bruce told me she was!” gasped Ryan. “Please don’t tell her yet. If it gets out now, I’m done for.”

Jules couldn’t take it. None of this made sense. What show does this kind of stunt casting? AT any rate, he had his limits. “I’m not going to tell Kristina. It’s not my place.”

“Oh, thank you!” She threw herself at Jules and wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

“….Ryan?”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe hug me when you’re done with your shower. Because you might not be straight, but I very much am.”

----

Jules quickly dried himself off and got dressed, in such a hurry he didn’t notice he was barreling headlong into someone else.

What was it with his head and ramming it into women’s breasts?! Now he’d accidentally done it to Bruce’s assistant… uh… Ellen? No, Elena.

Jules immediately backed up into the door, hands up in front of his chest as he notices Bruce standing there with her. “Whatever it is, I didn’t do it and I didn’t see it.”

“Elena, produce the contract he signed to get on the show and turn to the page about ethical and moral infractions.”

Bruce’s assistant pulled out a familiar thick packet of paper from her pantsuit, flipping through its contents impossibly fast. “…Where do you have room to store that?”

The contract was shoved in front of Jules’s face, with Elena’s finger pointing to a specific part of the page.

“I already agreed not to tell anyone,” urged Jules. “What kind of monster do you take me for, that I’d out that Ryan’s a lesbian unless you threatened to kick me from the show?”

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “You joined a dating show for money.”

Jules could not argue with that.

---

The private party Jules had won an invite to was a shockingly intimate affair.

Waiters would float around, serving the guests a rotating helping of sliders, sausage cheese balls, and frybread. Games of cornhole and a mechanical bull had been set up to entertain, though at the moment Kristina’s brothers were taking turns trying to out do the other.

Tyrone explained the odd choice of cuisine – and entertainment – to Jules and Ryan when they arrived. He was actually recounting it to the bachelors who’d made it there.

“I told you she was a rancher’s daughter,” he said between bites of an elk slider. “Her dad’s a Wyoming bigshot. So it looks like she got them to bring a little slice of home to here.”

Jules scarfed down a bison burger without a second thought. “What brought a guy like you to Wyoming?”

“You mean a black man?” Tyrone grinned. “Yeah, there ain’t many of us there. I grew up on Westerns and wanted to be a cowboy. It’s that simple.”

Zach grinned, holding a half-empty plastic cup of beer. “Is that right? I’m sure you see a lot of kinds out there.”

It was subtle, but Zach was setting off a well-developed sense Jules had developed from being around Derek and Sean. He was pretty dang sure the guy was gay. Which made sense, given he was here for the money.

“Real subtle,” deadpanned Parker.

The men eventually moved to play some cornhole. But near the minibar, Jules could see Kristina taking a seat and downing a shot of what he assumed was some strong liquor. It was now or never.

----

Kristina snapped back to reality as a shot was slid in front of her and someone took a seat next to her. “Plus one?” Whoever it was, it sounded like they tried to take a shot and then nearly coughed it up. “Oh my god… ugh… pooooooison.”

Kristina’s laugh lasted only a moment before she realized who had joined her. Jules. “You here to mock me for winning the game?”

“Not if you’re going to take the fun out of it.” He gestured to the shot he provided. “A peace offering.”

She looked at the shot for a moment before downing it without much care.

“Heck of a party,” said Jules. “It’s a lot less ‘extra’ than I expected.”

“Had to fight them at every step to stop them from doing it.” Kristina swirled her finger on the top of her shot glass. She’d have flipped a table if they’d gone through with serving her tarts and scallops.

Jules rolled his eyes. “Give me pigs in a blanket any day.”

“I know, right?” It dawned on Kristina that this was the longest conversation she’d had with Jules. He hadn’t been demeaning or snide the whole time. Even his jab about the game wasn’t going for the jugular. “What are you playing at?”

“Same thing you are.” He waved at the man tending the minibar, who came over with two more shots. “Rum and soda for me from now on. We’re playing at being on a dating show. I recognize that look in your eye. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t have something riding on this.”

He raised his new shot glass to Kristina, who raised hers in kind. She had no trouble downing it. Jules went into another coughing fit.

Alright. Let’s play ball. “You’re lucky you survived the first cut. You think I’m going to tell you?”

“Why not? Who else are you going to tell?” Jules gestured to the bachelors playing cornhole. “Everyone here’s either an idiot who thinks they’ll find true love or a bastard who’s here to humiliate you on national television for a payday. What doesn’t add up is why you agreed to this charade.”

Kristina knew Jules was playing her. But there was something so refreshing about a guy being this honest that she almost had to respect him. At least he wasn’t trying to make out with her every time she blinked.

“If this is how you want to play things, let’s test you.” She lightly punched him in the arm, but she swore she saw it spin around the shoulder socket like an action figure. This guy was a real string bean. “I was going to use some of the Tell the Truth cards on the guys I took one-on-one dates with. What do you think they’ll pop up as?”

The bartender brought Jules another drink at his request. Kristina could see Christian starting to notice her sitting alone with Jules, and figured they didn’t have long left.

“Craig’s a waste of your card even if you could use it on him,” said Jules. “Kyle was stupid enough to take a rancher’s daughter on a horseback ride without knowing how to ride a horse, of course he’s here for love. Let me guess, Spike took you to a concert for his own band?”

Kristina nodded. How’d he guess?

“Hundred percent here for the money. Also free publicity for his band.”

A firm hand slapped down on Jules’s shoulder and squeezed, making him squirm. With a careful smile, Christian leaned over. “I think someone needs to share.”

“Cornhole not going well for you?”

Jules found his chair suddenly pulled out from under him, hitting the ground with a thud. He was then rolled away on the ground by Christian’s foot, who then took his chair. “Hey there.”

Kristina found herself submerged in the pablum of being the star of a dating show for the rest of the party. Her attention was constantly being pulled in every direction. But those five minutes she had with that absolute jerk were the most at-ease she’d been this entire show.

A little smile curled at the corner of her lip, which Christian clearly though was for him. If that moron Jules was right, maybe she’d keep him around. For now.

She could always throw him into the sun later.