Hoe Phase

Returning from her walk with Hank, Bridget kicked off her winter boots, threw her hat and mittens in the general direction of the coat closet. Blowing warm air into her cupped hands, she set about sorting the mail at the kitchen table.

Her eyes scanned as she sifted through the coupons, local flyers, assorted junk mail, until her eyes landed on a large manila envelope. It was hand addressed, with a official government stamp in the return address corner.

“This is it” she said to herself. “It’s finally here!”

Tearing gently into the sealed envelope, she pulled out a formal looking document. Her hazel eyes scanned the page, behind her black cat eye glasses, a smile creeping onto her face as she read.

“CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE” it read at the top of the page.

“I’m finally free of that fucker,” she muttered out loud, sending Hank into a frenzy of tail wags and head tilts, as he attempted to understand what his mom was talking about.

Just a few months before, Bridget had mailed in all the paperwork and notary signatures to finalize the divorce between her and her now ex-husband, Robert. She had all but forgotten about it, until opening this letter.

Bridget looked over at Hank, wagging his fluffy golden tail and tilting his big empty head in her direction. “We did it, Hank, I’m finally free!” Hank began to bark as he sensed the excitement in his mom’s voice. He wasn’t sure what they were celebrating, but he was fairly certain it meant extra treats and walkies for him, and now he was even more frenzied than before. He stood up, resting his paws on her shoulders, and the pair danced around the kitchen for a while, smiling at each other.

Suddenly, there were tears running down her face. She was happy that this horrible chapter of her life was finally over. And yet, there was a feeling of sadness within her that she didn’t expect. She needed to move on to bigger and better things, and she knew this, but there was a small part of her that would miss the familiarity of the old, and didn’t feel ready for the new. It felt scary and unfamiliar. For the first time in 12 years she was officially, government-ally, single. Being single was a lot scarier than she initially thought it would be. Which is why she ended up with Hank in the first place. A girl alone in the city needs a bit of protection. Hank, in retrospect, was the wrong choice for protection. He loved everybody, and everyone loved him. If a burglar broke into their apartment, Hank would happily show him where mom kept the valuables. Not that she had anything of much value anymore, thanks to her ex. He had sold just about everything of any value before he left her high and dry for his affair partner, Emily.

Memories began to flood into her mind of the last 12 years with Robert. He seemed like a good guy at first. They had a lot of fun. At first. Then his true nature started showing itself, bit by bit. Taking control of every aspect of her life, one thing at a time. Restricting her access to friends, forcing her to work long hours at a job she hated so he could work part time (when he didn’t call in sick) and sit at home all day playing video games. Bridget had nothing against video games, she enjoyed them herself. But spending more time gaming than working was really starting to become a problem, especially when the bills were due. She was still unsure where he managed to keep the audacity. The audacity to make her pay all the bills alone while he did whatever he wanted, watching her struggle financially. The audacity to cheat on her before, during, and after their wedding. The audacity to bring his mistress to the house and introduce her to his wife as a “work friend."

One day Robert told her he had to go comfort Emily because she and her fiance had just broken up and she needed his support. He didn’t come home. She didn’t want to believe he would actually leave her. They had just gotten married 6 months earlier, after all. That was the day her tiny little world shattered. She didn’t know it at the time, but  Robert leaving her for his mistress was the best gift he had ever given her. The gift of freedom from under his thumb. It would be a month or so before she realized how lucky she was to be out of that tragic relationship. That was the day Bridget signed herself up with Buzz. As she created her dating profile, posting recent pictures and a little about herself, decided this would be her chance to play around. The chance she never got in her twenties. Now, at 32, it was finally her time to have a little fun. Nothing serious. She was done with boyfriends, partners, husbands. She just wanted to get laid with no commitments. Her “Hoe Phase,” as she affectionately called it.

That was 6 months ago now. Bridget rubbed Hank on his big empty golden head and let his paws fall to the ground. She was certain earlier today that she would not be using Buzz again anytime soon, after the “Steve” debacle. But now she had something to celebrate, and celebrating alone was just no fun. She opened her phone and logged in. Immediately faces appeared on the screen for her to approve or deny.

“I’ll just match with one more, spend the night, and get it out of my system,” she said aloud to Hank, who was not listening, as he had been served a bowl of kibble and was happily munching his dinner.