Amity... Once again...

Dear....

Hey journal,

I had second thoughts and I opened the Amity door again. There was a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I had done something wrong.

So I opened it and was once again welcomed by darkness. And a very familiar feeling.

I prepared myself this time. Hoping I was right.

I flicked the switch and there was the axe again.

Except I wasn't anywhere near it this time. The guy wielding it missed me completely, the blade striking the floor loudly.

I didn't shoot this time. I took the butt of my shotgun and slammed it into his gut. He dropped to the floor, letting loose whatever was in his stomach and then holding his hands up.

"Wait," he said. "Please."

I did a quick check against tunnel vision, kept my barrel steady. I heard the sound of someone coming down the stairs again. I knew who it was before she came into view.

She gasped when she saw me. Instead of the smile she had wore before, there was a mask of terror...

...at me.

The guy moved to grab something but I let loose a shell into the wall near him and pumped the action, making sure he knew I meant business. I asked him why he tried to kill me.

"Wouldn't you?" he asked me back, sweating, afraid but alert. "I come down the stairs with my kid going nuts staring into the shadows. And then you come through some damn door out of nowhere!?"

I felt a knot in my stomach. The way they all looked at me. I wasn't the hero here.

I asked him why the kid was in the cage. He didn't answer at first, I leaned forward and yelled at him to answer.

"He wanders," he revealed finally. "He's been like that since we found him. Sometimes I don't even think he knows it. He just up and disappears. He comes back but...he gets hurt sometimes, sometimes real bad."

The young woman pleaded for me to take what I wanted and leave. She rushed over to the man's side and more into the light.

There wasn't a mark on her. The nightgown was old but it was high quality. The way she clung to him and he to her, putting his body between us.

I don't think he was the kind of guy I thought he was. What she had said he was. And all at once, it came crashing down. She lied. Not just to save herself, but to save the kid.

The guy was just trying to protect them.

I'm the monster.

I didn't realize that I was crying until they started looking at me funny. I wiped away my tears with a sleeve, reached into my backpack and left some food and water.

I told them I was sorry. Then I walked out the door, shutting it behind me.

The Old Man was waiting on the other side. Smiling at me with teeth that seemed too perfect for him.

"Not everything is as it seems eh?"

I broke down. I asked him what this all was? What the hell is going on?

I asked about Emily.

"She'll be ok."

I looked up at him, how would he know?

He just smiled and tapped a finger on his forehead.

There was a moment of quiet between us. I looked back at the door and wondered about the family beyond it.

"Don't worry about them, their story ended on a very happy note. Long before you arrived."

I looked back at the Old Man and something in my brain clicked. It wasn't just the woman wearing an old-fashioned nightgown. The guy was wearing some rather vintage clothing himself. Trousers with suspenders and a white shirt. The kid had been wearing pantaloons.

"Just an echo," the Old Man said. "An echo of a very old song."

That must've been why I was able to go back and do things all over again. Do them differently.

My curious hand acted before my brain could tell it otherwise. I tugged on the door but it wouldn't open. The Old Man laughed.

"Nope, that one's closed. Time to open another one."

I asked him about the Letting being closed. He chuckled and tugged at his beard.

"Yeah, you already came through that one. Proud of you though. The enemy really thought he'd get you on that one."

What enemy? The Old Man just scoffed.

"Don't listen to him."

He stretched his arms out again and looked as if he was about to leave when I asked him to stay for one more question. He said he'd entertain me.

I asked him about Maricel.

"She's closer than you think."

And with that, he left. Sinking through the floor again as if it wasn't even there.

Closer than I think? The hell does that mean? Is she behind one of the doors?

How does he know about Emily?

Does he even know anything? Why am I listening to some old fart who's probably feeding me a line of bull?

I'm thinking back now about the whole thing with Mom, and then with that family. If the Amity door remained closed after what I had just done. Was the Letting door closed because I had forgiven Mom?

But I didn't come into the castle that way... Did I? No. I'm certain I didn't.

The room where I ran into mom was on the opposite side.

And who is this enemy the Old Man talked about?

My head hurts and I feel like I'm starting to unravel. Between everything that's happened and the Old Man's cryptic non-answers I can't tell whether I'm coming or going.

It's getting harder and harder to endure.

Will I ever find a way out of this place?

Emily, I hope he's right. I hope you're ok. You're a woman I didn't deserve. Especially during that dark time when I got back home. I'm starting to think I won't see you again.

I love you Emily. Please be happy.