Chapter 2

                                                                      Gerda

When Kaya finally stopped clinging to me, I regretted even more that I had followed through with this plan. Apparently, the crowded deck was too much for her, and she had proceeded to have a panic attack. Not ideal considering that the plan was to go unnoticed.

I knew it wasn’t her fault. She was special, I’d figured that much from our time in school, but still… It wasn’t she who would get the brunt if we got caught. Her father had money and the right connections, so it would be me who would get fucked.

At least the ridiculous uniform I had decided to wear for the occasion had hopefully convinced everyone I had it under control, so now all that was needed was just a bit of bullshit to get security to let us through to the docks. Once Kaya had calmed down, that is.

I was still holding her hand as I leaned against the cold glass of the aquarium and took a deep breath. Tickets cost a fortune, but it was dark and quiet, so at least it calmed her down. Luckily, most idiots preferred to get mashed in the customs-free bar rather than watch fish swimming against the darkness of space.

"S-sorry... I..." she mumbled.

I shrugged.

“Just don’t freak out again, okay?"

She lifted her gaze and smiled. Fuck, did she try to make me feel guilty on purpose? I wasn’t an asshole. If I were, I would have taken her launch card, dumped her somewhere on the station, and flown off with the ship long before she realised what had happened. If she would even manage to connect the dots… I sighed.

“Do you want to watch some more fish or something? We still have some time."

She nodded happily and pulled me to another tank. At least there was no harm in staying for a bit longer. It was better to board the ship during the busiest hours when the chance of someone questioning what we were doing was the smallest.

                                                                          Kaya

I could watch the fish swimming beneath the stars forever and forget about all the sadness and sorrow of the outside world. But I couldn’t ignore the growing uneasiness deep in my chest, a nagging feeling alerting me that the tranquillity wouldn’t last forever and that we would soon make our way to the docks, board the ship and leave.

The thought filled me with dread, and I moved closer to Gerda. At least she didn’t push me away as she had done before, and I was happy for that.

It was true that I didn’t have any good memories of my home, and most of my time there had been nothing more than loneliness and longing for something I couldn’t name. But even so, it was the only thing I knew, and I didn’t know what the future would bring in its place.

Would I really find my mom at the end of this journey? If I didn’t, I wouldn’t know what to do, and if I did… If I did, I would ask her why she had given me away, and I didn’t know if I was ready for the answer.

Gerda suddenly took my hand and pulled me towards the exit. It went so suddenly I didn’t have time to protest, and I could feel my chest tightening, realising what we were about to do. We walked through the endless hallways filled with noise and bright lights, and the smell of the air-conditioned atmosphere felt so suffocating that I didn’t dare to let go of her hand for fear I would have another panic attack.

It was more chilly than I had expected here on the station, and I wondered if Gerda had meant something other than a light dress and sandals when she suggested I should wear a casual outfit. But it was summer, and I had been afraid of standing out too much on our way to the elevator, but now I felt self-conscious, and I was sure everyone was watching us as we made our way to the dock.

I really hoped we wouldn’t get in trouble or even that the worst father or mother would have noticed I had taken the card with the launch codes from their bedroom, but the chances of that were slim. They had bought Morning Glory only because they could afford it and because people of their status should have an interstellar yacht, not because they actually enjoyed flying it.

At least I didn’t need to worry they would notice my absence until at least tomorrow, since they cared even less about me than about interstellar travel. 

                                                                               Gerda

Once we arrived at the security check, I leaned over to the security officer and whispered a few complicated words about Kaya’s diagnosis and mixed in some bullshit about a programme run by the Youth Explorers that fulfilled the dreams of her kind of people.

Living with the Bitch had taught me how to spin a tale, since it had been my job to hide her addiction and general fuckedness, so I had become quite good at it. Not that I was grateful for it, but a skill was a skill in the end.

I watched with satisfaction as the security guard gave me an embarrassed smile and stepped aside, letting us into the docks without any further questions. It had gone easier than I had expected, but I wouldn’t rely on those tricks too heavily. After all, we were trying to do stuff no Youth Explorer had any business doing.

I tried to walk with a confident stride along the hallway, staring straight ahead. I had only seen the model on a holoscreen before, so as the reality of what we were about to do dawned on me, I began to doubt whether my 30 hours in the simulator and 5 hours in the cockpit of the stinky Aerodyne-7 were enough to handle it, but what other choice did I have? Living with the Bitch for another couple of years? Joining the Navy? No… I knew that would never be an option.

We turned a corner, and the passageway gave way to a grand hall with a glass wall that revealed a row of ships docked just outside. There was no mistaking which one was Kaya’s, or rather, her family's. It looked exactly like something specially designed for people with too much money and too few brain cells to use them wisely. It would be fine, it was all automatic…

I halted in front of the airlock and nodded at Kaya to go ahead, but she just smiled in response. I sighed.

“Open the lock, you have the card."

I glanced around as she fumbled with her bag, suddenly realising what we were doing. Why did it take her so much time? It was a fucking card, how difficult was it?

"I-I have it…” she mumbled and pushed it into the lock.

I braced myself for the alarm or a sudden shout from security, but the airlock opened with a hiss, and the air fell still. I cast one last glance at the hall before taking her hand and pulling her inside. I slammed the lock, and only when the door closed behind us did I dare to take a deep breath.

We were in.