Chapter 4

                                                                         Gerda

Fuck, I hadn’t expected they would attempt to disable the ship’s systems remotely and try to ground the ship back in the dock. Manual flight wasn’t my strength, but I must have done something right, considering we were still in one piece. I glanced at the console, but it only displayed the basic instruments. The systems were still rebooting after the emergency shutdown.

I wondered where we were heading since I had activated the jump drive so far from our planned entry point, making our flight plan a piece of junk. At least I must have really freaked them out jumping so close to the station, so they got what they deserved for trying to stop us. I smiled, trying to release some tension.

Only then did I look at Kaya. I froze. She was sitting on the floor next to her seat with her knees pulled up under her chin, sobbing.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

She didn’t respond or even move, so I was forced to walk over to her. I really hoped she hadn’t banged her head or something as we were taking off.

“Are you hurt?” I asked as I started checking on her.

Her body felt cool under my palms, but except for a small bruise on her forearm, she seemed unharmed.

“Kaya…”

I repeated her name a few times, hoping to get her attention, but it didn’t seem to work. Our takeoff must have really freaked her out.

“It is okay, we made it. You can meet your mum or whatever…” I tried, but it didn’t make any difference.

Then what? I hadn’t signed up to babysit her, but I wasn't a complete asshole either… After all, it wasn't her fault she was like this.

In the end, I covered her legs with my jacket and sat down next to her, wondering what else I should do. The ship was now flying on autopilot, and I didn't want to test my luck by taking it out of hyperspace.

Part of me hoped that the computers would somehow compensate for our incorrect entry and we would arrive where we had planned, maybe just a bit delayed. But that was a worry for later. Even if we had followed the original flight plan, it would have taken us a week to reach our destination. So no matter where the ship was taking us, I was sure we had at least a few days to kill until anything major would happen.

She shifted closer, clinging to me, but I let it be for now. It wasn’t that bad in the end.

                                                               Kaya

“Thank you…”, I managed to whisper in the end.

Gerda turned to me from where she sat next to me.

“For what?”

I looked down, suddenly unable to explain what I meant. It sometimes happened to me, especially after my brain shut down from being overwhelmed by outside stimuli. It was so embarrassing and frustrating that it often led to another shutdown, so I instinctively moved closer to her, and to my relief, she didn’t object.

I wished I could explain to her what it really meant to have someone staying with me when it happened, but for some stupid reason, I couldn't form a coherent sentence in my head. How could I explain in simpler terms that I had always been alone when it happened. Even if the school nurse had sometimes stayed with me it felt fake, as if she only did it as a part of her job, and I was sure she hoped I would leave as soon as I could. So it meant a lot that Gerda stayed, even though she could have left at any time.

After a while, she gestured for me to get up.

“You want to explore the ship?”

I felt better, so I nodded, and she helped me stand and put her jacket over my shoulders. It felt heavy and unfamiliar, yet strangely comforting at the same time, and I pondered that paradox of feelings and sensations as we started to look around the ship.

It was the first time I had been on board, even though my family had bought it a couple of years earlier. Like always, they never took me with them, afraid that my presence would destroy the image they tried to uphold. It made me sad at first, but, like with everything else, I got used to it and accepted it as part of my everyday experience.

Mum would never do such a thing to me… But why had she given me away? I glanced at Gerda. She never talked much, but I’d figured that her family wasn’t that great either, even if they were her real family. So what if mine was the same? What would happen if, at the end of this journey, I found something even worse than what I had? What then…?

The thoughts filled my mind as we made our way through the ship. It was so frustrating, but no matter what I did, I never managed to shut them away completely. At least Gerda seemed to be pleased with our discoveries and noted something on her pad, muttering something to herself. She was so confident and always knew what to do, but I didn't want to rely on her forever. I felt I had so much to offer, but it always seemed that no one wanted what I had. It was not fair. What if she would also treat me like that?

                                                                     Gerda

At least the ship was well supplied, so there was one thing less to worry about. Being hungry sucked, and you never really got used to it, no matter how many times it had happened.

Clothes could be an issue, as we hadn’t dared to take any with us, and what we’d found on the ship was too big, but I was sure that with some luck, I would manage to adjust some before we landed. Not having money had forced me to learn how to fix stuff, but I never imagined that skill would come in handy on an interstellar yacht worth billions of credits.

But that was a task for later. I was exhausted as the realisation of what we had actually done slowly sank in. Stealing a ship was probably enough to put me in trouble, so I probably didn’t need to worry about the unauthorised launch, lack of pilot licence, or violating all those flight rules. Not ideal, but what other choice did I have? The world was unfair, so it was up to me to set it straight, even if just for us. Us…? Yeah… At least for a while.

I glanced at Kaya sitting next to me on the sofa in the living room. Or mesa or saloon, or whatever this space was supposed to be called. It had a place to sit down, and that’s what counted for now. She smiled, noticing my gaze. Why did she always need to smile? I was sure she was never like that back at school…

I looked away. So what now? I’d never really considered this part of the journey, since part of me never believed we would manage to go so far with our plan. Being disappointed sucked, so I spent most of my time planning for scenarios where we would get caught rather than wondering what we would do if we actually managed to get the ship. I had learnt a long time ago that it was better to always prepare for the worst. That attitude had saved my ass on many occasions, so it felt really strange that I actually managed to succeed with something.

Sure, I’d managed to succeed with other stuff before. My grades were really good, but that was only because I would rather stay in the library than go home after the classes ended, so that success was just a side effect of living with the Bitch rather than something I actually wanted. So this felt different. It was mine from the beginning to the end.