1.4 KMAS: Panel from Hell (Part 1)

Once the panelists were seated on stage, Tilly introduced them one by one. First, there was Elsa Periwinkle, 23 years old, half elf, school teacher, and regular contributor to both Meridian Kyros Magnus Appreciation Society and Society for Kyros Magnus Studies newsletters. Sitting to her left was Sir Ceril Codsworth, 72 years old, human, and a renowned historian (in his youth, now popular among conspiracy theorists). Next to Sir Ceril sat Tobias Stonesinger, 43 years old, dwarf, worked as a gardener at the Royal Palace for twenty years, and now, a published romantic poet. At the other end sat Clara (Just Clara), scion of the Davenport noble family, 19 years old, top student at Stormhaven Magical Academy, and columnist for the Meridian Times newspaper.

The panel began by Ms. Elsa Periwinkle giving her view on the topic.

"Respected panelists, fellow Kyrosians, and my students in the front row." Elsa waved, and some of the teenagers waved back. "As far as I am concerned, and as far as any elf is concerned, and to be frank, anyone with any amount of sentient thought or a logical mind is concerned, there is no debate here at all. There is only one woman for the Great Mage, and she is his wife, Lady Liriel Magnus, or Princess Liriel Everbloom, as she was formerly known. The man literally married her. I don't see what more evidence anyone needs to be convinced that she is the love of his life and the only one for him."

Liriel clapped along with many in the audience. "I like her," she said. "Logical, well spoken, and actually correct."

"But a bit boring," Sera noted. "I mean, who wants to hear that a man loves his wife? It's too obvious and lacks any drama."

Elsa continued her speech. "And as for this frankly absurd idea that the Great Mage and Queen Seraphina have anything inappropriate going on between them, all I have to say is that this is simply a manifestation of the backward idea that men and women cannot simply be friends."

"Hear, hear," Clara the top-student chimed in.

Elsa had more points to make. "I mean, they have known each other since they were children. How many of you would want to have romantic relationships with people who saw you eating dirt as a child?"

"I did see him eating dirt," the Queen whispered to Lady Magnus, which made Liriel smile.

"Therefore..." Elsa tried to get to her conclusion, but she was interrupted by a cough and a raised hand from Sir Ceril.

Elsa was annoyed by the interruption, but she did not forgo her politeness. "You have something to add, Sir Ceril?"

"Yes, my dear. I have plenty to add. Mostly to correct your naive view of the world."

"Naive? What are you..."

Elsa did not get an opportunity to finish her sentence. "Yes, naive, and frankly, historically illiterate. This romantic view you have of the elites of our society, while charming, goes against all known patterns of historical human behavior. People like the Great Mage and Lady Liriel, or even our dear Queen do not marry for love. These people have the weight of kingdoms and millions of souls on their shoulders. Marriage is simply a form of alliance to secure their power and strengthen diplomatic bonds."

"What diplomatic bonds are you talking..." Elsa tried asking, but she was interrupted again.

"I will tell all about these diplomatic bonds," Sir Ceril continued. "Clearly, the marriage between Lord Magnus and Lady Liriel was a pre-planned arrangement by the Everbloom royal family of Sylvanor in order to secure the most powerful Archmage ever to exist as their son-in-law. This improved their political position internally and put their external enemies on notice."

"So, you are saying that the Great Mage and Lady Liriel did not fall in love, but it was all a prearranged thing from the Everbloom Royal..."

"Of course it was pre-arranged. I wouldn't be surprised if they had planned it since the day they learned of the Great Mage's powers. I am sure some kind of betrothal took place at that early date. Now I assume you are all wondering why our own royal family did nothing to stop this marriage. I am sure they tried, but the High Elves simply outmaneuvered them and secured the son-in-law first."

"I am sorry, but this is simply absurd," Elsa said. "Respectfully, Sir Ceril, have you ever met a high elven noble? They are..."

"Of course I have. How dare you question my credentials, you silly girl."

Clara stood up from her seat and shouted. "Old man, will you shut up for a second. You don't let her speak and constantly interrupt her. I am sick of hearing your nonsense."

Sir Ceril was about to explode. Never in his life had he been so disrespected. People talked behind his back all the time, but he was a renowned and respected academic, so they always offered him the courtesy of not mocking him to his face. "Why, you brat?" Sir Ceril yelled. "I am going to tell your father how disgracefully his daughter is behaving."

Clara remained unfazed. "Go and tell him. He will have a good laugh," she taunted.

Sir Ceril got up from his seat to teach the young girl a lesson, but his arthritis got the better of him, and he had to sit back down again, cursing and yelling at Clara.

Tilly had to show up to calm both panelists down. Once everything settled on stage, Elsa tried to continue her train of thought. "As I was saying, anyone who has ever met a high-elven noble can clearly see why this line of thinking is absurd. High-elven nobles simply do not ask commoners, especially an orphan, to marry their daughters, whether he is the Great Mage or not. The only way this would ever have worked is if Lord Magnus and Lady Liriel fell in love with each other, and then the Everbloom Royal family simply had no choice but to agree to the marriage."

"Were your parents annoyed about you marrying Kyros?" Sera asked Liriel.

"No. The first time they met him, they were mainly scared. Then, when Kyros and my brother started throwing fireworks from the top of the palace, they were worried that the two idiots were going to blow the palace up." Liriel smiled, recalling the memory. "I think they were mostly relieved with the marriage, as it meant Kyros would be returning to Meridian, and he and my brother would be separated."

"Kyros and the crown prince threw fireworks? Are we thinking of the same crown prince? Your brother Elarian, who is famously a dignified bore?"

"He is only dignified in front of others. Whenever he and Kyros get together, their collective mental age decreases by about fifteen years."

"So, what happened after the fireworks? I can't see the nobles being too thrilled."

"Nobody dared complain about Kyros, but my father had to deal with complaints from many nobles about 'Inappropriate behavior from the Crown Prince.'"

"Seems accurate," Sera chuckled.

"What about you? Did your parents ever try to get you to marry Kyros?" Liriel asked.

"No. Are you joking? My mother would have had a heart attack if I had told her that I would marry Kyros. She was always yelling at me to stay away from him. And telling me how I should be spending time with proper refined girls my age and not rolling around in the dirt with that 'naughty boy.'"

Liriel seemed surprised by this revelation. "But I remember hearing that she liked Kyros."

"Oh, that she did. She would have been thrilled to have him as a son. But she didn't like us hanging out together. She thought we were a bad influence on each other."

"Sensible woman," Liriel said.

"Hey, that's mean," Sera whined, and both women laughed.

Even though he allowed Elsa to make her argument in full this time, Sir Ceril was not so easily defeated. "I hear you, my dear," he said. "You do make what may seem like good arguments to those who are unfamiliar with serious research and scholarship. But I must point out the big flaw in your statements."

While Elsa remained polite, she could no longer mask her annoyance. "What's that, Sir Ceril?" she asked.

"You said that the Great Mage is an orphan. This is simply incorrect."

"What are you talking about...Sir Ceril? Everyone knows that the great mage is an orphan."

Clara did not miss this chance to berate Sir Ceril. "Yeah. Did you forget to take your medicine again, old man? You are supposed to be historian; why are you spouting nonsense?"

"Shut your mouth, you mannerless brat. Let me educate you on the more intricate points of cutting-edge historical research."

"I can't wait to hear this," Clara said, rolling her eyes.

"From years of study, and after consulting many ancient texts and writings, I have come to the conclusion that the Great Mage Kyros Magnus is the descendant of Astraxergon the Red, the ancient King of the Dragons."

This revelation was received with confused stares and some polite claps from the audience. But Clara, who had no reservations about humiliating Sir Ceril, burst out laughing.

"Come on. That's your big theory? That he is descended from a mythical creature that never existed."

"Astraxergon the Red existed despite what 'some people,'—here Sir Ceril paused and gave Clara a withering look—"in their ignorance suggest. Granted, it was a time before written records, but there is much evidence that a civilization of dragons ruled the world before the other sentient races took over."

"Here we go. It's the ancient dragons conspiracy theory again. How long are you fools going to keep pursuing this nonsense when all evidence from magical theory, biology, and chemistry goes against this idea? Seriously, old man, dragons are not sentient; they were never sentient. They are animals. Come by the academy one of these days. I will have one of the first years teach you some basic biology."

"Despite all the mockery from the ignoramuses, my words will one day be proved right," scoffed Sir Ceril. "There is no doubt in my mind that Kyros Magnus is a descendant of Astraxergon the Red. I am now in the process of constructing a full lineage of the Great Mage, and only a few links in the chain are missing."

"So, you are saying that Astraxergon, or whatever figment of your imagination, which was a massive beast, was going around knocking up women?" asked Clara.

"No, you imbecile. Dragons in ancient times could transform into humans and other sentient races."

"How convenient. So how exactly do we test this theory of yours? Do we check if the Great Mage has a tail?"

This made a portion of the audience laugh.

"He doesn't have a tail," Liriel confirmed when the Queen looked at her.

Ceril was growing even more furious. "You disrespectful brat. How dare you..."

Before he could try to get up and hurt his knees again, Tobias the poet tried to change the direction of the debate by asking a question. "Sir Ceril. We have heard your thoughts on the human-elven diplomatic relationship. What are your views on the Great Mage and our Queen's relationship? Do you see anything romantic there? Or simply a partnership of convenience?"

"An astute question, master dwarf." The historian gave Tobias a wide smile. "While I tend not to indulge myself in fantasies..."

"Could have fooled me," Clara quipped.

"As I was saying," Ceril continued pretending not to have heard Clara. "I tend not to indulge myself in fantasies, only facts. While I have no definitive evidence on the romance between Lord Magnus and Queen Seraphina, I suspect there is truth to such an assertion."

"But what about his marriage to Lady Magnus, Sir Ciril?" Elsa asked.

"You see, little girl, I suspect that this marriage, as I mentioned before, is nothing more than a political ploy. I believe that the marriage is a loveless one. On the other hand, I believe that the Queen and Lord Magnus have a deep romantic connection."

Elsa was completely dumbfounded. "But, Sir Ciril, how can you say that the marriage between the Great Mage and Lady Magnus is a loveless one? Lady Liriel literally gave up her royal title to be with him. If that is not a sign of her love for him, I don't know what is. And it seems to me that you are simply asserting a relationship between the Queen and Lord Magnus without any evidence."

"You tell him, girl," Liriel yelled out from the crowd, a bit louder than she had intended. It earned her a few stares from her neighbors, who quickly went back to focusing on the discussion when they saw that it was just a random half-elf.

Sir Ciril was not about to go down so easily from clumsy attacks of a school teacher. "Ahh, but my dear, I am not simply asserting it. It is a well-known fact among certain circles that the Queen was seen crying alone on the day of Lord and Lady Magnus' marriage."

"You were crying?" Liriel asked Sera.

"Yeah. He put ghost pepper powder in my coffee."

Liriel chuckled. "Oh yes, I remember. He was afraid of you pranking him on his wedding day. I believe it was some sort of preemptive attack."

Sera pretended to be shocked. "Preemptive? Liri, it was a blatant unprovoked attack on a head of state."

"But you were planning on pranking him?"

"Obviously, but that's not the point."

On the stage, Clara was done with Sir Ceril's theories. "I have had enough of the old man's nonsense," she declared. "Let someone else speak for a change. Master Tobias, we haven't really heard your thoughts on the debate. I am sure you have something interesting to say."