1.5 KMAS: Panel from Hell (Part 2)

"Indeed, my dear madam," Tobias said before giving Clara a slightly creepy smile. "We have heard the standard theory of a fulfilling marriage and also the story of an unrequited love between the Great Mage and our Queen. Both theories have their pros and cons. And as someone who worked in the palace gardens for over 20 years, I would like to clarify one point. The Queen and the Great Mage are indeed very close."

This started instant gossip and chatter in the audience.

"You mean to confirm the unrequited love theory, Master Tobias?" Clara asked warily.

"I did not say that, madam." Tobias gave her another creepy full-toothed smile. "I merely meant to point out my own observation that I have often seen them playing together."

"But that's not evidence of a romantic relationship," Elsa argued.

"Indeed not, madam." Tobias now graced Elsa with his now signature smile, which made the half-elf politely but quickly turn away. "It is only evidence of closeness. Which brings me to my main point..."

Tobias Stonesinger stood up, looked at the other panelists one by one, his gaze lingering far too long on Elsa and Clara, and then he looked at the gathered audience. "Why does he need to choose?"

The audience looked at each, not fully clear on what was said.

"I repeat," Tobias said. "Why does the Great Mage have to choose? He has two well-renowned, accomplished, and beautiful women in his life. Why does he need to favor one over the other? I posit that this is neither a dedicated marriage nor a story of unrequited love. This is simply a man who is in love with both of the women in his life."

Elsa and Clara looked at each other. Liriel and Sera stared at the dwarf in disbelief. Sir Ceril seemed to be very interested in his shoes. And most of the audience sat there with their mouths hanging open, while a small section of the audience clapped and cheered.

Elsa was the first to speak up. "Master Tobias, what you are suggesting is absurd and frankly, insulting."

"But, Madam, what's so insulting about it?" Tobias asked, his face showing genuine surprise. "They are simply one man and two women in love."

"What you are suggesting is a harem."

"Is it? I suppose it is. Maybe if we include more women into the mix. I wonder who would be a good fit." Tobias eyed up both Elsa and Clara as if gauging their fitness for his hypothetical harem.

"Master dwarf, what you are saying is immoral, illogical, and disrespectful," Elsa said sharply. "A man cannot love more than one woman and cannot be with more than one woman."

"Why not? Dwarf kings used to do it all the time."

"A thousand years ago," Clara noted.

"There are more recent examples, right here in Stormhaven. I am not mistaken, am I, Sir Ceril?"

Sir Ceril, who had been quite uncomfortable since the beginning of this line of reasoning, looked up momentarily from his shoes and said, "Umm...yes...Ethelred the halfwit from the previous dynasty did marry three women at the same time. It was around four hundred years ago."

"See, even a king of Stormhaven had a harem," Tobias said happily.

"One of his wives ran off with the stableboy, the other used to sleep around with everyone in the palace, and the third murdered him. Not really a glorious example to support your theory, Master Dwarf," Clara retorted.

Sir Ceril reluctantly nodded along with Clara's clarification.

"I am just saying that we don't have to demonize a man, or dwarf, for wanting to be with more than one woman. I mean, is it really that big of a deal? You can be a dutiful husband and still ask your wife for a threesome. Is it really your fault that she packs her bags and goes to her parents? It's not like you were asking her to kill someone. Sometimes people just overreact, you know."

In the audience, Liriel leaned in and said to her friend, "I told you we should not have come."

"You might have been right," Sera agreed. "But still, I wonder, who would have seniority?"

"Me, of course. I would be the first wife."

"But I am the Queen. Shouldn't I have higher rank?"

"I am older."

"Just by one year, Liri. Me and Kyros, we are the same age."

"That doesn't count."

Tilly came on stage just in time to save the audience from more of Tobias' fantasies. She told the panelists that it's time to focus on Clara's ideas and reminded everyone that there were children present. She also subtly warned Tobias to not say anything too crass or weird.

Clara began after Tobias reluctantly sat down. She stood up and turned to Elsa. "Let me start by first apologizing to you, Miss elf." She bowed and then turned to Tobias. "And to you, master dwarf."

"Why are you apologizing, Miss?" asked a confused Elsa. Tobias, though, seemed happy.

"You know, it's for all the racism and stuff from my ancestors to yours."

Ceril scoffed derisively.

Elsa wasn't sure what anyone's ancestors had done to anyone else's ancestors, but she had already seen too much craziness on the panel. She decided not to press the issue and simply gave a polite smile.

"I would be remiss," Clara began, "If I did not call out the blatant misogyny on this panel. I am sorry, Tilly," she said, looking at the President of the Appreciation Society, who was standing to the side of the stage. "But you should seriously rethink spending the Society's money on old cranks and conspiracy theorists." She looked at Sir Ceril, who did not even glance in her direction. "And let's not forget the absurd Harem theory we all just witnessed." Clara glanced at Tobias but quickly turned away when he gave her another creepy smile. "And the most severe misogyny of all was directed at our own beloved Queen and a woman as wonderful and accomplished as Lady Liriel."

"I like this one," Liriel said.

"Me too," Sera agreed. "Finally, someone who says it like it is."

Clara continued, "Clearly, our proud and noble Queen is not in some sort of unrequited love over a man. Even though he is a man as wonderful as our beloved Great Mage. A woman need not be defined by her love for a man. She is great and amazing, with or without him."

The Queen hooted and hollered along with many of the other women in the audience. Even Lady Liriel gave a big smile.

"The Queen and the Great Mage are clearly lifelong best friends." The intensity in Clara's voice increased, clearly encouraged by the audience response. "And their relationship is a purely platonic one."

Another round of cheers and applause followed. Elsa too joined in on it, happy that another panelist was on her side.

"And of course, a woman as beautiful, graceful, smart, capable, and elegant as Lady Liriel..."

The cheers and claps grew louder with each adjective.

"...is not in love with the Great Mage," Clara said.

The cheers suddenly stopped as everyone tried to process what they had just heard.

"What did she say?" Liriel asked Sera. "Did she say that I was in love or not in love with Kyros?"

"I think, she said that you were not in love with Kyros."

"Huh?! What?! Why would she say that?"

Sera shrugged.

Elsa, on stage, was just as confused as the rest of the audience. "Ms. Davenport, I think you meant to say that Lady Liriel is in love with the Great Mage."

Clara smiled at Elsa like an adult indulging a child's fantasies before letting them know of the reality of the world. "It's just Clara, Elsa. I don't use my family name. And no, I did not make a mistake. You heard it right. I said that Lady Liriel is not in love with the Great Mage."

This gave rise to another round of gossip and loud discussions from the audience section.

But on stage, Elsa, who had endured Sir Ceril's condescension and Tobias' creepiness, was now feeling betrayed by what she thought was her only ally on the panel. "But...but Ms. Clara," she said. "This is absurd. I thought at least you were on the sensible side."

Clara did not seem to take it to heart and just smiled. "I don't blame you for feeling that way, Elsa," she said. "You have just bought into the official narrative. It seems sensible and reasonable, but ultimately it's all smoke and mirrors. What we need to do is look beyond the official narrative to get at the true heart of the matter. We have all looked at many facets of this problem but missed the most obvious solution of all."

"What exactly are you saying?" asked Elsa.

"I am saying that it's not the Great Mage that Lady Liriel loves. I am saying that Lady Liriel is in love with Queen Seraphina."

The revelation was so shocking that the entire audience gasped in unison.

But Clara was not done. "And of course Queen Seraphina loves Lady Liriel. Remember that anecdote about the Queen crying on the wedding day. All of you believed that she was crying over the Great Mage, when in fact, she was crying over Lady Liriel, the love of her life who was getting married to someone else."

"But, but, then what about the Great Mage?" Elsa managed to say, despite the now chaotic state of her mind.

"Ahh, the Great Mage is truly a great man. In order to facilitate the love of his two best friends, he sacrificed his own love life and got married." Clara did the air quotes when saying the word 'married.' "He did this just so that these two wonderful women could love each other without any unwanted scrutiny from society."

Sections of the audience now started nodding along, at least slightly convinced by Clara's ideas.

"Liri, I didn't know you loved me so much," Sera teased her friend.

"Don't you start as well," said a clearly annoyed Liriel.

"I mean. If I had only known I would have whisked you away and married you."

"Stop it, Sera."

Sera was in no mood to stop when she had been handed such good material for teasing her best friend. She wrapped her arms around Liriel and said, "It's not too late for us, Liri. Come on, give me a kiss. Let's seal this deal."

Liriel tried pushing the Queen off of her. "Get away from me, you freak," she yelled, while giggling and trying to protect her cheeks from the Queen's lips.

But the Queen was far too agile for Lady Magnus. When she brought her lips to the front, Liriel quickly covered her face with both hands, which gave Sera the opening to kiss Liriel's cheek.

"Sera," Liriel whined while trying to see if she got any lipstick on her cheeks. Thankfully there wasn't any. "You are so weird, Sera. If Kyros hears of this, I am never going to live this down."

"That's true. He would probably set us up on dates just to mess with us."

The Queen and Lady Magnus both started laughing at the thought.

Meanwhile, on stage the panel was winding down. Clara, having dropped her bombshell theory, was now smugly sitting back in her chair. Sir Ceril too seemed to be in a happy mood. Clara's wild idea had made his dragon heritage theory seem more respectable, and Sir Ceril was overall happy with his performance.

"I think the panel broke your girl," Sera said, pointing at Elsa.

Elsa was staring out into the distance, confused and slightly disturbed by the entire discussion.

"Yes. She was the only one who got almost everything right."

"But her ideas were also the most boring. I mean, a happy marriage can't really compete with the descendant of an ancient dragon, and running interference for the relationship between his two wives who are deeply in love."

Tilly was back on stage to let the attendees know that lunch would be served in ten minutes. She asked everyone to line up and get their meals while maintaining proper decorum that the Great Mage would be proud of.

Liriel and Sera, who had both seen Kyros stuffing his face, laughed silently at the mention of the Great Mage's decorum.

Tilly then let the fans know that results of the Perfect Partner contest would be announced after lunch. She also asked everyone to stay and watch the play about the Great Mage's defeat of the Ancient Lich Lord Vermithrex, written, produced, and directed by Tilly herself.