Me, You, and Ice-Cream

“You are…Finn, right?”

As I asked this question, I could feel my face getting warmer and warmer, and my heartbeat increasing by the seconds.

“Yeah?”

My face lit up.

“You finally moved out of Zittau! How did you find me all the way here?!”

I wouldn’t wanna show anyone the smile I was wearing at that moment.

“…”

There was a pause.

And something about it felt…off.

“…You’ve got the wrong person.”

No.

I didn’t.

I was so sure of it.

I could never mistake those eyebrows. That glint in his eyes. The warm smile he used to greet everyone.

And yet…

“Finn, do you know her?”

Now that was a girl I’ve seen before.

“N-No, I don’t. She must’ve mistaken me for someone else. Don’t mind her, we should go now.”

“Mhm, okay.”

And just like that, he left.

But you know what, now that I think about it… that guy can’t be Finn.

He wouldn’t do this to me.

He would also not ignore me like that.

Not me.

I mean, it doesn’t even make sense.

Why didn’t I see him before?

Why now? In the middle of the semester?

That’s because he’s a background character.

That’s why.

Maybe it was just a wishful thinking.

Anyway,

On to more important question; what should I feed myself tonight? It’s such a hassle to think of what to eat every single day.

Maybe I should make mushroom penne pasta tonight, huh? How does that sound?

But the mushrooms went bad.

Of course.

I forgot to check them.

Amazing. I hate it.

So… PBJs again? That doesn’t sound very “lecker” right now. I have been eating them for three nights straight. Even I deserve a change of pace. I’m not a prisoner.

Hmmmmmm…

But then again…it’s easy.

No effort. No preparation. No hitting the convenient store at 8 pm for it.

Right?

…

UGH

You know what, I’m hitting the convenient store.

Which would mean…going outside…in public.

I’ve already had one too many interactions today.

And I’d need to walk across the street and then some.

And the pasta wouldn’t cook itself I’d still need to cook it on top of going out to buy the ingredients.

I don’t deserve this punishment, do I?

…

Nevermind I can just stay home.

Eat PBJs. Watch anime.

Right?

…

“Aw c’mon… stop reading that stupid magazine and say something, would you, Lotte?” I said as I shot a glare at my sorry of a flatmate, “Your friend is going crazy over here and you don’t give a shit about her.”

“Why are you going crazy over a guy who might not even be who you think he is in the first place?”

“HUUH? I’m talking about whether I should go out or not.”

“You are obviously still not over today’s events. It’s so obvious by the way you are acting.”

“It can’t be him…nope. It’s just the mushrooms.”

“It’s written all over your face, little Lena.” She said, her eyes still fixed on the magazine. “You are hoping to run into him in the store, no? After you ‘found out’ he lives nearby?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about and HEY I DIDN’T STALK HIM!”

“Never said you did.”

“Fuck it and FUCK YOU. I’m going to the store.” I said, slipping into my sneakers, “I’m not sitting here spiraling over a guy who might not even be my childhood friend. Do you need something from the store?”

“Hey, you finally accepted it.” She finally decided to lift her gaze, “I’d take a cola, thanks.”

“Not happening. Nothing for you tonight.”

“YOU ARE THE ONE WHO ASKED! Bring me the cola PLEASE LENA.”

Unbeknownst to me at the time, something was waiting for me there.

…something big.

OK I need to stop being dramatic I’m not even halfway through the way.

That Finn-lookalike––I swear to God he doesn’t deserve to have those same features. It should be illegal.

Playing with my feelings like that. And after I thought that he had finally found me.

Guess it really was just a wishful thinking huh.

…

Hey.

Hey, hey, hey–– what’s this? Is he seriously controlling my emotions right now?

Alright. Time out.

And before I knew it, I was at the store.

I hurried to the fresh vegetables aisle and grabbed some mushrooms––and some shallots while I was at it.

Next was Lotte’s cola and… you guessed it––

ICE CREAM!

I mean, I do deserve little treat myself for making it here.

After picking up mushrooms I made my way all the way to the back of the store where frozen goods were stocked.

And there I saw it.

…something really was waiting for me here after all huh.

I mean…

What is HE doing here??

Is he picking ice creams for his nosy missus?

…OK time-out.

It could be for himself too I don’t need to be so aggressive.

And why should it concern me? He’s not even Finn.

Anyway, as an ice-cream connoisseur, I hold the right to judge his taste. Let’s see what he picks––

…

After seeing that, I was hit with a mess of emotions.

There was this excitement of being right… but also there was something heavier.

The guilt.

Afterall, he was holding that flavor.

The one that only Finn and I used to like back in Zittau.

Hell.

No one likes it here in this city either. I might be its only customer. It’s a miracle that they haven’t stopped restocking it already.

And I’m glad they didn’t.

I should’ve never doubted myself.

This fact alone doesn’t 100% confirm that he’s Finn…but it was everything I needed to stop believing otherwise.

That’s my Finn right there.

I’m gonna smack him for ignoring me–

My feet stopped midway.

She was there too.

There she is again being all clingy–

And then it hit me.

Wait…could they actually be dating?

No.

I need to trust him.

He wouldn’t do this to me.

But….

The doubt crept in anyway.

I acted impulsively earlier, and was about to do it again. I didn’t realize the situation I was in was actually very… awkward.

I hadn’t seen him in, what, 6-7 years, and he doesn’t even seem to recognize me.

And then there’s that girl who wouldn’t leave him alone.

I’ll be making fun of myself if I were to approach him right now.

Well, confirming my suspicion is enough progress for today. I should buy these stuff and head back home…

…or so I thought.

Why’s he right in front of me at checkout????

This moment couldn’t be more awkward.

UGH!

I’m looking homeless right now I mean I DIDN’T EXPECT TO RUN INTO MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND WHOM I HADN’T SEEN IN 6 YEARS WHILE RUNNING AN ERRAND?!

Ok…maybe I did expect it a little.

BUT THAT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT I LOOK HOMELESS RIGHT NOW!

The line was long, as expected of a Saturday night.

And I was so close behind him that I could smell his perfume…and also hear him talking with that girl…which I really wish I couldn’t.

Because I overheard some stuff I really wish I didn’t.

“Hey, Finn, I just realized…” she began, “does this count as a date?”

“Hmm…I don’t know?”

“I don’t want our first date as a couple to be a convenient store errand.”

“Right? It sounds weird. Maybe we shouldn’t count it then?”

“I guess so,”

…

I wish they had stopped restocking that ice-cream flavor.

Maybe I should’ve stayed at home after all.

Coming here was a mistake.

I didn’t even bother to hear the rest.

I couldn’t.

And just like that, I returned home.

“Hey, you are back.” Lotte greeted me with excitement, “I was dying of thirst give me my cola alrea– Where is my cola? Matter of fact, why are you empty-handed?”

“I’m going to bed. Good night.”

“Why are you down in the dumps all of a sudden? Wait a minute––”

Even without looking at her, I could tell she was either about to guess exactly what happened…

“AAAHH I should’ve gone with you! I could’ve prevented the robbery with my Shaolin Kung-fu.”

…or say something completely bizarre.

I didn’t want to let her continue, and closed the door.

That’s right.

I closed the door on my only friend.

I was really not being myself today.

Maybe I needed some sleep.