Train Back Home

“If you hate me so much, then just divorce me and free me from this hellhole.”

“Oh, trust me, I am so gonna do it. I can’t put up with your ugly mug any longer.”

And yet… they never separated.

I wouldn’t call this love.

No.

In the seventeen years that I’ve been alive, I had never once seen them do anything that people in love are supposed to do.

This cannot be love. I refuse to believe it.

And this was the kind of environment that I grew up in.

So when I heard––

“…of course I would. I’d choose you over and over again. I mean, you are fun to be around, Finn.”

There was no way I wouldn’t fall in love.

And so I did.

I met Kayla on the train to my first day at my new school.

I was really nervous. I had transferred mid-semester, so the chances of me fitting in were low–– Not that it would’ve been any better if I had started from the beginning.

Anyway, I found myself staring at her.

Maybe because she was the only one wearing the same school’s uniform as me on that train. I didn’t want to be alone, so I thought maybe I can follow her.

As we reached our stop, she disappeared into the crowd getting off.

I looked around for her, but she was nowhere to be found.

I thought I had lost her, until––

“New student?”

I flinched. A voice came from behind me. When I turned––

“Yep. I haven’t seen this face before. This is your first time taking this train, isn’t it?”

“Huh? O-Oh. Yeah. Yes.”

“And… what exactly do you want from me? Your eyes were fixed on me the entire ride. Or…” as her lips were about to curl into a smirk, I knew what was coming, “…did you fall in lo–”

“NO! That’s not it. I was just, uh, I uhhh… forgot to check the class placements and…” Ok this is getting weirder “…I was wondering if you coul–”

I hadn’t even finished when she burst out laughing.

“Seriously?” She said, still giggling, “You forgot it on your first day of school? Are you sure you are gonna be okay?”

For some reason, seeing her laugh like that…it stirred something I couldn’t quite explain.

It felt like taking a train back home.

The way she tried to cover her mouth, laughing so hard her eyes started to water–– all of it felt…nostalgic.

“You are funny.” She said, wiping at the corners of her eyes. “Fine, we can walk together. So…what’s your name?”

“Finn. You?”

“Nice to meet you, Finn. I’m Kayla.”

And, for the record, I didn’t forget to check class placements.

I checked it.

More times than necessary.

I was so nervous that I had to get off the bed in the middle of the night to ensure I was set for the morning at least a dozen of times.

So no, I didn’t forget to check it.

I just needed something–– anything–– to avoid being alone on my first day, even if it was only until we reached the school gates, and I wasn’t gonna let a chance like this slip by.

We stepped out of the station, merging with the crowd. The morning air was cool, carrying that faint rush of weekday noise like cars passing by, distant chatter, the occasional honks and such.

Thankfully, the school wasn’t too far from the station.

“So,” Kayla started, glancing at me, “any particular reason for transferring in the middle of a semester?”

“Not really. My moth––No, my father, actually, got transferred around here so…“

“Around here? Where exactly?”

“That… uhhh there’s this company in the city center, yeah, my father works there now, so I had to transfer schools.”

She looked at me a second longer than I would’ve liked, not quite satisfied with my spontaneously made-up excuse, but thankfully she didn’t question further.

“We’re almost there–what class are you in by the way?”

“2C––“

I froze.

I fucked up.

I told her I didn’t check class placements so there was no way I should’ve known my class. 

Shit.

“Wait, really?” she said, her eyes lighting up. “I’m in 2B! Our classes are right next to each other. Lucky you.”

…Thank God.

Had she caught that, things would’ve gotten awkward fast.

We entered the school building together, greeted with the familiar noise of hallway filled with chatterings and voices, lockers opening and shutting.

Our classes were on the 2nd floor, where all the second-year classes were.

Kayla walked me all the way to my class.

“This is 2C. My class is that one there, just after this one. Well, looking forward to more of you, Finn.”

“Yeah…see you around.”

Just like that, she was gone.

And, there I was.

Alone again.

I stood in front of the classroom door, staring at it like some final boss of a video game.

Beyond this door awaits a whole new world, and tons of opportunities. I have got to make the most of––

“Dude, get the hell out of my way!”

“What’s this jerk doing just standing here?”

…Right.

I stepped aside quickly, letting a couple of students push past me into the classroom.

This one’s on me.

I was blocking the entrance after all.

Not a very good start, I’d say. Let’s do this again properly this time.

Once I step in, I gotta wear a big smile. Everyone’s attention will be on me, the new student. Alright. I’ve prepared my introduction already; there’s nothing to be nervous about.

As I slid the door open and stepped in…

No one cared?

…Huh?

Everyone was busy talking, laughing, scrolling on their phones and whatnot, wrapped up in their own worlds.

I mean it does save me from introducing myself, but still…

I scanned the room and quietly made my way to an empty seat.

Thankfully I found one.

Right in front of the teacher’s podium.

First row.

Amazing.

That’s the worst possible seat I could’ve gotten.

And that explains why it’s empty.

A few minutes later our homeroom teacher walked in.

Ms. Beatrice.

I was familiar with her already because we met during the paperwork.

“Alright class,” she began, placing her books down on the podium in front of me “as you all know already, a new student will be joining us starting today. He had to transfer mid-year because of some unavoidable circumstances, so please be welcoming to him.”

I glanced around to see everyone’s reactions and…

…Nothing?

Not a single student was looking at me.

I mean it does work for me but…the complete lack of interest is a little disappointing.

After homeroom we had six more classes.

They all went quite smoothly without anyone asking me anything. Probably because Ms. Beatrice had already explained everything.

And, just like that, the very first day at this new school came to an end.

Now it was time to pack my things and head home.

I started packing my stuff and made my way towards the door when I noticed something…

A familiar figure was standing there.

It’s Kayla! Why’s she standing there?? Should I say something like… hi??

No, of course not, she must be waiting for her other friends. Of course. We just met today; I shouldn’t be so presumptuous.

I stepped past her and started walking.

“Hey, Finn!” she called out to me,

“H-Hey Kayla,” things had gotten awkward, “we meet again!”

“Where were you sneaking to? I was waiting for you, you know.”

“Waiting for…me? That’s…Do you need something?”

“No, dumbass, I was waiting so we could walk home together. We live nearby, right?”

“Ah––yeah, YEAH. Right, we can totally do that.”

We started walking together, blending into the rush of students all heading to their homes.

“So,” she asked, glancing at me, “how’d your first day go? Made any friends? Or any…” I could feel something else coming by the way her lips were curling again, “…crushes?”

“H-Huh? N-No, of course not.”

I was expecting something but it still managed to catch me off guard somehow. I’ve always hated this––

…always?

“My day was honestly not very good today.” She continued, “My crush didn’t come to school today so I was feeling unmotivated the whole day long. It sucked.”

“Your crush…huh?”

Time passed so quickly while we were walking together that we had already arrived at the station. The train wasn’t there yet, and so we stood near the platform, waiting, along with other students.

“Quite a lot of students here now,” I said, “there weren’t any on our way to the school.”

“That’s because all of them take earlier trains. I, personally, prefer the last possible train. Coming to school super early sucks.”

“That so, huh?”

…Good thing I also took the same train as her.

I was so nervous that morning that I got the runs, otherwise I definitely would’ve taken the very first train to school.

Just a few minutes later, the train arrived, and boy was it crowded.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to suffer for long. My place was only 6 stops away, and it took some 15 minutes to get there.

Because of the rush, we couldn’t talk much in the train, which was disappointing.

And thus, after 15 minutes of awkward silence, my stop was finally on the display.

“Kayla, this is my stop. Are you getting off here too?”

The train slowed to a stop, and two girls who were in front of me got off and started walking ahead, busy in their own conversation. One of them sounded unusually animated for someone who had just gotten off a packed train.

Guess it’s everyday for them, huh? I’ll get used to this pretty soon too.

“Nope, mine’s the next one.”

“I see.”

“Looks like we don’t live even that nearby as we thought, huh?”

“Seems so. Well…bye!”

“Bye-Bye, see you tomorrow!”

See me tomorrow, huh?

I found myself holding onto that thought for longer than I should’ve.