Silva's Aside: Precious Friends

“You’re stirring too slow,” I instructed Heidi. “You’ve got to whip those eggs. If they’re not foaming, they won’t turn out right.”

“Yes, of course,” she said. Though her tone was as gentle as ever, Heidi’s frustration was plain. “How did you ever do this every day for that brutish prince?”

“You get used to it?” I said with a shrug. Truthfully, I liked cooking. There was something relaxing about making delicious food. And with how picky Anno could be, he was the best taste tester.

I smiled, despite myself, and proffered my hands for the bowl. “Is it too hard for a lady such as yourself? I can take over if you want.”

A scowl escaped her delicate expression. Nose scrunched, she pulled the bowl of eggs away from me. “I said, I would cook for our dear Hero this time, and I mean to do it.”

I held my hands up in defense, “Whatever you say, Heid.”

Gertrude giggled. She stood at the opposite counter, chopping a slab of ham into strips with single strokes. “Be nice to her, Silva. She’s trying her best.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I was glad to see them both back in their right minds again. Whenever they were around the Hero, they were so…creepy, like their entire personalities revolved around him.

Though we were cooking for him, much to my chagrin, this was precious time with my friends—what little I had left—where they could be themselves. The kitchen was brighter, warmer than the rest of this gloomy tower.

It was bittersweet, not knowing when I would see their faces again. Below, the Hero’s forces were amassing at the base of the tower. Why, I did not know, but I was to join them to march as their leader.

Heidi returned to whisking. Her pace was improving, but her grip on the instrument was awkward. Odd, given how graceful her hands usually were.

I moved behind her and placed a hand over hers, “Here, hold it like this.”

She shuddered at my touch and stepped away. “Thank you, but I don’t need correcting,” she muttered before stepping away.

I frowned at her back. After all this time, Heidi still retreated from physical contact she did not initiate. As much as I wanted to blame the Hero for her timidity, I could not. She had been like this since I first met her, before she had even seen him.

Heidi had been a prestigious musician from the highest courts of Blumentau, that much I knew. She was famous, living in luxury. She had favor with the queen and captured the hearts of countless citizens with her music, including the prince’s. Yet she chose to leave it all behind and become our first companion.

I knew as much about her now as I did then. But I knew that she was a lot like me, closed off with a surprisingly short temper. Admittedly, that made her cute. I couldn’t help but prod and tease her because of it. It was fun to see the little glimpses of her whole nature. The sides of herself that were different from me, that she wouldn’t show to anyone else.

Sometimes, I knew I went too far. And I saw something in her that made me want to hold her and never let go.

Beneath all the eloquence, Heidi was hurting. That flute of hers was proof enough. Even now, it poked out from her apron pocket. That thing she called mother.

I wanted to destroy it, and I believed that some deep part of Heidi did, too.

A clattering of metal brought our attention to Gertrude. The knife was on the ground, and Gertrude was rubbing her bandaged arm. We were by her side within a second. “What happened?” I asked, “Did you cut yourself?”

“I’m fine!” said Gertrude. “I switched to the wrong hand out of habit.” She bent down and picked up the knife with her good left hand. Her face was as bright as ever.

My heart ached at the sight. Gertrude was too good for this world. Why a pure-hearted girl like her had been sold into slavery as a child was a question reserved for Iliana Herself. Not even I had the courage to imagine the horrors she had endured. And yet, her smile remained so innocent. She was as cheerful as the day we rescued her from Reisenreich's Coliseum, where she was nothing more than their plaything, forced to fight for the giant’s amusement.

Gertrude was supposed to be free. She was supposed to lead whatever life she wanted now. She had only changed prisons. The Hero, that subhuman trash, had yet to take responsibility for hurting her. And I would bet my life that he did not care.

Filled with sudden emotion, I threw my arms around their necks and pulled them toward me, pressing my forehead against theirs.

“What are you doing?” Heidi shivered again and tried to free herself, but I would not let her.

Gertrude cried, “Be careful, Silva. I’m still holding the knife!”

But I paid her no mind. “You look after each other, all right?”

What would they do without me? Up until now, I had refused to let him touch them, but the Hero’s will was too strong. Even with Heidi’s aversion to physical contact, they would give in to his demands eventually. I would have without them.

Gertrude let out a confused grunt. “Why does it sound like you’re leaving? You only just got back.”

“Yeah, well…” I did not know how to tell them about the strange women who were puppeting the Hero. Nor could I tell them how they had enlisted me as a General. All I said was, “I won’t be gone long. There may be a lead on finding Lina.”

This was a lie—just a little one. I didn’t have faith in Anno’s ability to keep that troublemaker out of danger, but he was the only one I had to rely on right now. I did not count Lina amongst my friends. She was too dangerous.

Heidi succeeded in pulling away, openly scowling as she clutched the mixing bowl, “Do mind the eggs, Silva. You nearly spilled them.”

I grinned at her. “Whoops.” I had not noticed that she was still holding it.

If only Lina hadn’t come into our lives. Ald Alira’s secret princess. From the moment we met, the Hero was obsessed with her. Whether he could sense her hidden power or just found her clueless act appealing, Lina had become the sole target of his affection.

That had been the start of my secret, unwanted jealousy, born from the Hero’s influence. But even he had grown bored with Lina for a time, which gave her the chance to escape. Whether she had vanished accidentally or on purpose, Lina’s disappearance had been a relief—a chance to have him…all to myself.

I started and looked up, unsurprised to see the Hero hovering in the doorway. Beneath his dark armor, his stance was awkward. No matter how much power he gained or how confidently he presented himself, beneath it all, he was a boy playing pretend.

“Something smells good,” he said. “Breakfast for dinner?”

My friends were gone as they turned loving smiles at him. “We’ve got bread baking in the oven, sweetie!” said Gertrude.

“Yes! And I’m just about to start the eggs, my love!” said Heidi. I could practically see the hearts in their eyes.

Heidi made to pour the eggs into a pan, but I stopped her before she could. “Wait for it to heat up. You’ll know it’s ready when the butter starts to bubble.”

Her face reddened, and she glanced in the Hero’s direction, who only stared. “I-I know that.” The all-familiar vein appeared on her forehead. She tried to mask her frustration with one of her smiles, but it was twisted into a grimace. Her hands threatened to crush the wooden bowl.

I had gone too far by accident. “Sorry.”

It was not enough to calm her. The vein became more prominent. “Why do you feel the need to nitpick everything I do?” she whispered, “Especially in front of him?”

Before I could say anything, Heidi closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After a moment, she opened her eyes. Her smile was properly fixed in place. “Forgive me,” she said calmly. “That was quite rude.”

I shook my head. “Why are you apologizing? I was the one who—” I tried to catch myself. But it was too late.

Heidi turned away and resumed stirring the eggs. The whisk scraped the bottom of the bowl, but I could still hear her muttering beneath it. “Nothing right. Nothing right. Can’t even apologize right. Why am I like this?”

Her stirring became more violent. The bowl’s content threatened to slop over the sides. I was filled with the overwhelming urge to hold her in my arms again, tell her everything was okay, but I knew it would only agitate her further. Beside me, Gertrude helplessly watched Heidi’s meltdown. She’ll be fine, I thought to myself. I would apologize as soon as she calmed herself.

But then he decided to open his big, stupid mouth and say, “Be careful. You’re about to spill.”

Heidi’s hand slipped as she tensed, causing the bowl to fall from her hands, splattering egg all over the floor, her face, and her blue dress. The bowl clattering to the floor was like a thunderous drum. The following silence thundered even louder.

The humiliated Heidi said nothing. Her body quivered as she tried to hold on to her smile like a lifeline.

He gave her a sheepish grin. “Oops?”

Her smile failed her.

All at once, Heidi’s expression broke. But she refused to let any of us see it for long. Pressing her hands to her face, Heidi ran past the Hero, who did nothing to stop her, and through the doorway.

“Heidi!” cried Gertrude. Avoiding the mess of eggs, Gertrude chased after Heidi. Her calls echoed down the hallway. The rational part of me knew that I should go after them, to not be in the same room alone with him. But I was too furious to listen to it.

My hand was crushing his throat before I realized. I lifted him in the air. With my accumulated strength, it was easy. Even beneath his armor, he was thin and gangly. What was not easy was choking the life out of him. No matter how much I squeezed, his windpipe refused to close.

He smiled down at me and sighed. “Are we fighting again? You know you’ll lose.”

“I don’t care,” I snarled. “I’m not going to let you get away with hurting her!”

He brushed my fingers with his. “It wasn’t my fault. You’re the one who kept nitpicking her.”

My fury blazed, even as that secret part of me thrilled at his touch. With a roar of disgust, mostly at myself, I threw him as hard as I could at the wall across from me and made a break for it.

But he was blocking the doorway before I could even take a step toward it. While awkward, he was unmovable. I tried to move past him, but he pushed me back, causing me to stumble.

His grin was thrilled. “Whoa there, where do you think you’re going?” He began to walk toward me slowly.

I was one to talk about Heidi having a bad temper.

In all senses of the word, I had messed up.

There had to be a way to bluff myself out of this. “Oh well, I tried,” I said, glancing at the Hero-shaped hole I had made in the opposite wall. “But that was a pretty impressive attempt, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yeah,” was all he said.

“Looks like I lost. I think I’m going to go check on Heidi.” But he kept advancing.

“Hang on. How often do we get to be alone together anymore?”

As little as possible. I had never liked him, the boy who called himself the Hero. He was a means to an end, a way to live out the adventure that I had craved all my life. I was grateful for Heidi, for someone who did not secretly leer at me when he thought I didn’t notice. For someone who did not try to sneak a grab at me. I could always quash those with pure contempt. But he was no longer that weak boy.

Despite his nature, I had never once feared him as a man. Until now.

I took a step back. “Let’s not do anything rash, here.”

“Why not?” he said, eyes dancing beneath his bangs. “I just can’t get over how cool you are. I want to be that cool, too.”

I refused to shrink away, though I wanted to with all my pounding heart. “What about the others? They’ll be back any second.”

“What about them?” He whispered. “Right now, it’s just you and me. And besides, I wanted to give you one last gift before you have to leave, my general.”

My back hit a wall behind me. Instinctively, I reached for Reynard’s handle. But before I could draw it fully, the Hero placed his hand atop the pommel, blocking me, while at the same time slamming his hand on the wall by my face, sending an equal mix of fear and excitement racing through my body. Slowly, he pushed my blade back in its sheath.

The Hero leaned forward, his face dangerously close to mine. “I never thought I’d get the chance to do a kabedon for real. Is this what having max charisma is like?”

He’d maxed out his charisma? No wonder the Hero had become so bold, so… magnetic. His pull was like trying to resist a crushing continent. But I wasn’t going to give in yet. My fingers fumbled for the telestone embedded in the grip. I could get away with Fox Flash, but before I could, his hand slid over mine.

My mind, the part that was still Silva, began to fade, replaced with elation. With what little of me I had left, I managed to whimper. “I…don’t want this.”

His breath tickled my face as he chuckled. “You’re such a tsundere. Be honest for once in your life.”

And, at his words, my resistance gave out. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. A last wave of disgust brought me one more moment of rationality. My final thought was of Anno—my prince and my friend, who I now wished I could have been more honest with—before my mind became his.

I’m sorry, Anno. I guess…I wasn’t strong enough, either.