Chapter 5:
Chapter 5 - Fireworks
When the Cherry Blossoms Bloomed
Finally it's summer vacation. I'm finally free from the enclosures of school. I lie in my bed, staring at the ceiling. Boredom fills my entire body. Outside, Cicadas are buzzing without shame as if there's no tomorrow. The summer heat is scorching. What's something I can do…? Summer homework?
….
Hell no.Who even does summer homework at the start of summer vacation?I let out a sigh.The memory of mom appears in my head…Should I…? Should I really visit mom? I’m left contemplating as I lie on my bed for a couple of minutes. I debate upon myself if I should or not. Once again I sigh. I guess I should visit. At least once.I get up from my bed. Now seems like the best time since my schedule is free.
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Surprisingly, mom was placed in room 501 again. Inhale…Exhale… Okay. I'm ready.The door creaks open. Mom…She's sitting on her bed with her gaze fixed on outside the window. It's mom. It's just mom. It's just mom… I burst into a dash. I can't bear it. The sight is too painful. All the memories just come back flooding all at once. It's overwhelming. It's overwhelming! As I'm running, a few tears run through my face yet it feels like warm blood.I'm panting heavily. I…can't. Slowly, I walk to the staircase. I don't feel like using the elevator.I clutch the stair rails tightly as I walk down. I desperately walk down until I eventually reach the ground floor. I walk past the receptionist without making eye contact and bow as I walk out.
Dad… What would you think of this?
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My head aches. The sight of Mom was unbearable for me… What would Dad think about this if he was here? Would he be disappointed? Upset? I don't know… It's been too long…
What if… what if I visit Dad? It's been so long since I last did. Should I? I feel like that's best. I come to that conclusion as I'm walking through the sidewalk.
The cemetery Dad is in is quite a walk away from home so I rarely visited. Well, that's a part of it. But I feel like I should now despite its distance.
On the way, I buy some flowers. They're pretty pricey to be honest but the reason for that is beyond me. Finally, after quite a long walk, the cemetery is within sight. And finally I'm inside.
Go straight…Turn left… Keep going straight…Then what again?
As I'm deeply pondering where the grave was I pass by it already. Realizing, I turn back.
So it was here. I slowly approach the gravestone labeled Takahashi.“Long time no see. Dad.” I mutter.“Are you lonely here?”“I'm sorry for not visiting often.”“What an irresponsible son I am, don't you think? Hehe.” “Ah. I bought some flowers by the way.”“Here.”I lay them down by the grave. “Mom is still recovering. But it's still not the same as before. I don't think it ever will be. I really miss both of you, you know?”I take in a deep breath.“Why did you have to leave me?” “Why couldn't things just remain as they were?”“If that didn't happen that day… Would things be better?”“Dad… Why did you have to die that day?”
“Why?”
“Do you even hear me? Are you even listening?”
I pause for a moment to catch my breath.
“If you are… I'm sorry.”“I’m sorry. I don't know if I appreciated you enough…”I say intending to scream. Yet it comes out as a faint voice. “I took everything you and mom ever gave me for granted.”“Now that I look back on it, I can't help but feel regret.”Sadness and guilt fills my entire body and my chest feels heavy as if a dumbbell is pulling down on it. Yet no tears leave my eyes. “This is useless isn't it?”“Haaaah…..” “Dad, I hope if you are listening that you will forgive me. I hope you'll forgive me for being the irresponsible and ungrateful son I was.”I stand up from the kneeling position I was in. “Goodbye dad. I'm gonna try to visit more often from now on.” I say as I'm about to walk away. Smiling faintly, I walk away and the gravestone grows farther until I eventually turn and it leaves my sight.
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‘That was one way to start summer vacation.’ I think as I'm walking on the sidewalk on the way back. A sigh escapes me. A moment after, my stomach grumbles. Right, I haven't eaten yet. There's a family restaurant nearby. I'll just eat there.
A door chime clanks as I enter and a staff member welcomes me. I find a table and begin ordering.
Later, I'm now done with my meal. I've paid for the food and I've already left the restaurant. Should I return home now? I think for a bit. Maybe I should walk around a little.
A gust of wind hits me as I'm walking and a sense of calm accompanies it. I think about earlier. ‘Perhaps all of this is for a reason.’ This thought appears in my mind as I'm walking. Maybe this really is all for a reason. A reason that I am yet to know. With these thoughts in mind, I keep walking, all the while appreciating the scenery around me.
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The door creaks open as I enter my apartment. I'm finally back. The quiet and dark atmosphere greets me and the door closes with a faint click. I walk aimlessly around the area then sit down at a chair. Suddenly I remember something…someone. Haruka. I haven't seen her in a while. I wonder if she'll still be in that spot. I check the clock and see that it's almost time for sunset. It's about the time Haruka usually goes there. I stand up from my chair. Maybe I should check.
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Seeing this familiar scenery somehow lifts my heart. The path tainted with fallen leaves and the trees lined up like chess pieces as far as the eye can see. Soon after, I reach the place. I take a peek. She's there! For some reason I'm filled with an indescribable excitement. I take a deep breath then make my way through the gaps in the trees.The moment I slip through the trees the scene opens up to a wider view. Haruka, standing in the center, is wearing a light pastel blouse tucked into a high-waisted skirt that dropped down below her knees. A pair of white sneakers, a canvas tote bag slung over her shoulder, and a straw hat. Her outfit really spits out summer. And for some reason, I'm really fond of it. “Haruka?”As my voice comes out of my mouth, Haruka turns around almost at the same moment. Her gaze catches mine. Her round eyes stare directly at mine and her short hair sways in the light breeze. “Kyosuke!” She exclaims gleefully.“Hi” I say in a calm tone. “Hi” Haruka responds.I walk a few steps closer.“Haven't seen you here for a while.”“Yeah”The rays of sunset illuminate all it touches. Beside me, Haruka stands staring into the distance. The next second I realize she's looking at me. “Did something happen?” She asks curiously.“Huh? Oh nothing much.” I reply.Again with her sudden questions…“Hmmm.. Okay” She says while lightly nodding.What is that supposed to mean? “Ah! Kyosuke look!” Haruka points up to the sky.“That cloud looks like a turtle!” She exclaims amused.“Ha?” I blurt out. I look above to where she's pointing. My eyes land onto a cloud that does indeed resemble a turtle. I burst out laughing.“Pfft hahahahahahaha!” I laugh while clenching my stomach. “What are you laughing about???” Haruka says, slightly pouting.“Nothing, nothing.” I say still chuckling.“I just found that funny, that's all.” “It actually looks like a turtle though…” She says.She looks up again.“Ah! It deformed!” She exclaims. I look at Haruka and notice she looks upset. She’s upset over a cloud..? Again, I start to chuckle. “Hey!” She starts to pout. Quite cute not gonna lie..I get embarrassed a bit upon thinking that but my laughter covers that up.
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Haruka and I spent some more time together until Haruka said she had to go since it was getting late. I asked if I could accompany her but she declined and said there was no need. I waved my goodbye and watched her make her exit.
Now it's just me and the scenery. The final bits of sunlight disappear from the sky until it's left shrouded with a black hue with barely a star in sight. ‘I should head home.’ I think. I mean it's getting really late. But… a part of me doesn't want to leave this place quite yet. I take a seat on the ground and gaze up at the night sky. More stars are visible now. “Just let me stay here for a bit more please.” I plead to the sky.
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By the time I arrived back home, it was way past nine. I take off my shoes. “I'm ho-” Oh wait… Mom is no longer here..I let out a disappointed, exhausted, lonely, and sad, sigh. No wait… More like that sigh was me releasing everything in me, even for just a moment.
I continue to go about my routine and eventually find myself on my bed. Once more, I sigh. I feel like I'm sighing all the time recently… I recall the events that went about today. I remember Haruka with her childish antics. As I'm recalling that moment I let out a soft chuckle. All the while I'm blankly staring at the ceiling as if it is the screen where I'm watching my memories from earlier play on. Then I recall my grave visit.…A moment of silence in both my mind and atmosphere lingers. Once again, like a consistent alarm clock, I sigh. You know what, I should sleep. Today was a long day. Huh, I wonder what'll happen tomorrow. For a moment I think that it'd be a normal and plain day, then I remember Haruka. ‘I want to see her again.’ I think. My day surely won't be plain if I get to spend time with her. I make this conclusion then slowly drift into sleep.
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A new day starts. My eyes open to a new morning. Rays of sunlight enter my room as if demanding me to get up. So as if accepting those demands, I get up from my bed to start my day. A yawn escapes me as I sit up. Walking to my door, I rub my eyes while deliberately ignoring the summer homework that I know I must do eventually. I then perform my morning routine as per usual. The summer heat sure is getting to me… I'm starting to sweat buckets at this point… In the midst of this scorching heat, Haruka pops into my mind. Haruka… I feel like seeing her is the only thing I'm anticipating for today. I wonder what I should do in the meantime though. I guess I'll just scroll through my phone the whole day until then. Since I've finished eating breakfast and all, I return to my room to isolate myself and doomscroll. Once again, I pass by my summer homework and continue to let it rot on my desk. I lie on my bed and start doomscrolling for who knows how long.
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Hours passed. I ate a simple lunch and went straight back to doomscrolling. I feel like now's a good time to see Haruka. She's probably there. I feel… quite excited and I don't really know why. Perhaps her cheerful attitude is why. Anyways, I should go now. I get up, tidy up and change into more decent clothes then head out.
It's quite hot. Those are the thoughts that fill my head. I don't feel nervous about seeing Haruka probably because we've been seeing each other almost everyday for a few months. I do remember being nervous before, but now that feeling is almost entirely gone. I'm here. Taking a peek through the trees, I see that Haruka isn't there. Eh whatever. She'll be here eventually. I squeeze through and walk towards the edge, then take a seat.
After some time, I start to doze off a bit. I'm getting quite sleepy. My eyes start closing and I start lying on the soft, silky grass…..
I fell asleep…? My eyes open a bit. Oh damn I did sleep. Upon realizing this I bolt up.“Oh, You’re finally awake!”“Woah!” Huh? I look towards who said that.“Rise and shine!.” Haruka says while giggling. She's sitting right beside me on where I was laying down. “Oh H-Haruka.. Hi. You're here.”“Yeah I've been here for quite a bit.”“What?!”Haruka then starts laughing.“You looked like you were sleeping so soundly so I didn't bother waking you up.” “Eh-ah-uh okay…”She laughs a bit while slightly covering her mouth. Then she turns to the view and stops. Her expression changes and she gazes blankly as if thinking about something important.“Is something the matter Haruka?”“Hm? Oh, ahh, it's nothing. Just thinking about something.”“Okay.” I reply“The summer festival is in a few days.” Haruka mentions.“Oh right. I forgot about that. I won't go there anyway. Too many people for my liking.” “Oh, I see.” Haruka replies.“You know, you can get a good view of the fireworks from here.” Haruka says.“Ohh, that’s interesting.” I reply.“Yes, it is. When the fireworks soar up into the sky, it gets reflected into the water making it such a beautiful sight.” “It’s a sight worth seeing.” As she says this I gaze into her eyes and notice that it’s filled with lots of excitement. It really must be that pretty huh. Maybe I should go see it for myself on the day of the festival. “Oh and it’s also perfect here since it’s far from all the hustle and bustle of the festival.”“Trust me you should see it.”“Perhaps I should.” I reply.After that, both of us stay silent for a bit. As if In sync with us, the world is silent too. Suddenly, as if an alarm clock went off, she gasps. Her expression changes into a mix of surprise and worry. Did she remember something? “Shoot. Kyosuke, sorry I have to go.”As she says this she's already walking away backwards while waving. Since it's all so sudden all I do is just watch her leave and wave back while saying a faint “Oh bye” along with it. Within a span of a few moments, Haruka is gone. Now it's just me and the river. Her words finally process in my mind.
“You know, you can get a good view of the fireworks from here.”
The fireworks…Huh..
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My phone chimes. The only person who would text me is Shota for sure. I reach for my phone.
Shota: [Yo! Wanna go to the summer festival? I know you don't like it but trust me, It'll be fun!]
I stare at the text message. Uh.. Should I?I begin typing.
[Uhh.. I'm too lazy to go through all that. Just thinking about the amount of people is draining me…]
I send in response. In a flash, Shota replies
Shota: [Trust me! You should go. It'll be fun I swear!]
Ugh. There's no going through this guy is there.
[Fine. Just this once then. But you better buy me food.]
There's really no persuading him to avoid going, is there…
The last time I went to a summer festival was back in 4th grade with my parents. That memory then saturates in my head as I recall it. I remember the bright, festive atmosphere. Mom was in a beautiful and sophisticated traditional yukata. I vividly remember Mom and Dad smiling at each other and them enjoying their time as if they were teenagers again. And I was just smiling and enjoying everything I was seeing. Those times were nice… I wonder if I could enjoy it like that again. I guess it is worth a try. With this thought in mind I close my eyes and decide to sleep.
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Shota: [Let's meet at 5 at my house. I'll be waiting so don't be late!]
“Don't be late” huh… Big words coming from you, Shota..
[Got it] I reply.
Today is the day of the summer festival. It feels almost entirely like a normal day that I would have forgotten about it if Shota did not text me. There's still lots of time before the festival so taking a nap would probably be the best way to pass the time. I turn off my phone and set it aside and lay down facing the wall. I begin to fall asleep.
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I wake up. I get my phone to check the time. Oh shoot. It's 4:33. Seeing this, I jolt up from my bed and hurry to get ready.
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After a ton of rushing to dress and freshen up, and running through the streets, I arrive at Shota’s house and ring the doorbell.
While waiting for him to answer, I think about my attire. Is this okay to wear to the festival? It seems pretty plain… just a t-shirt and shorts with a sling bag.. No this is probably fine. I swear I've seen people wear this to the festival too before. And why am I even worrying about this? Not like anyone will care anyway.
As I think about all this stuff I hear a door click open and a voice that seems quite unnecessarily loud reaches my ears.
“Kyosuke!” Shota shouts while running to me. “You're here!”“I was actually thinking you wouldn’t come and end up ghosting me knowing you..” Shota utters.“I’m not that unreliable you know.” I reply.“Sure…” Shota says in an unconvinced tone.“Anyways let’s go already!” Shota follows.“Yeah, yeah, let's go.” I respond”
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The festival is booming with people in beautifully patterned Yukatas and others in casual outfits like mine. Good. My attire isn’t out of place. All kinds of different aromas reach my nose and the lights of the festival blend into the sky which is slowly losing color and light.Shota is walking joyfully and is enjoying the sights of all the stalls. What is he? A little kid? I let out a small chuckle seeing him like that. “Kyosuke, let's get some choco-bananas!”“Oh uh sure.” I reply.
Me and Shota walk around the festival and do all sorts of stuff. Shota drags me to almost every stall. We go goldfish scooping and I watch Shota fail miserably when his net gets torn and all I do is laugh. After him, I took my turn and scooped 3 goldfish. Shota looked at me with so much envy it was hilarious. We get takoyaki, candy apple, and all sorts of food to stuff our stomachs. Shota keeps running around like a little child and I feel like I could easily lose this guy if I take my eye off for even just a second. I guess this isn't that bad after all huh. But something's been bothering me… not in a bad way but I just can't take my mind off it. I keep thinking of… Haruka.
I told Shota I'm gonna take a break while he went trying to win a gigantic plushie in a game. I'm sitting down on one of the benches holding a cup of juice in my hand. I wonder when's a good time to go to the riverside. Wait, when do the fireworks even start? What if it starts soon…. Maybe I really should go there already. I'll just tell Shota I'm gonna explore on my own for a bit. Speaking of Shota… where is that guy in the first place??? I scan around the area trying to find him. Don't tell me he went running around on his own… I sigh deeply. I swear that guy. Well I guess that makes it more convenient for me. I'm just gonna call or text that guy later.
I stand up and throw my cup in a bin nearby. I look at the crowd once more. I wonder if Haruka is somewhere among all those people. Well whatever, we'll see each other by the riverside anyways. With that thought in mind, I make my way through the people and go towards the direction of the river.
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The light from the festival fades into the sky from a distance. Even from here, the music and festivities are still faintly heard while they blend with the calming sound of rushing water. A cool breeze gently brushes against my face. This place feels like a time out after playing intense sports and as if in sync with the soft summer breeze, my breath is calm and still. I rushed to go here in case the fireworks would start soon and thankfully, I'm still early. Haruka isn't here either. Wait… will she even go here? What if I misunderstood…? Well, I'm here already so–“Oh, Kyosuke.”A familiar voice says behind me. Upon hearing it, I hastily turn around. And as if injected with adrenaline, my eyes widen and my heart races. I stand stunned. It's Haruka. She's wearing a lavender colored yukata patterned with various sizes of white flowers. Seeing her, I feel like I've forgotten how to breathe. She has a white obi tied neatly and elegantly to her back. Her hair is carefully styled with a gold hairpin that has a white flower design and dangling orbs of jade. She looks like a character who stepped out of a movie and… I feel like my heart is about to leap out of my chest.
“Does it… look weird…?” Haruka says hesitantly. Her cheeks are slightly red.“You've been staring…”The moment she says that, my body goes stiff and I'm suddenly super flustered. “Oh– Ah– was I? Really?” I say, scratching my head. Shoot, that's so embarrassing… I'm getting more embarrassed by the second. And before I get to say anything more, Haruka quietly walks up to my side. As she stands beside me, I look at her and even though it's a bit embarrassing, I say“You actually… look quite… uh… you look good.” My face is heating up as if about to explode. Desperately, I look away the moment I finish speaking and without looking, I hear a gasp from Haruka. After a few awkward moments, I look back at Haruka. She's looking straight down and her face is bright red. “You're not lying… are you…?” Haruka says without raising her head. “I-I’m not!” I respond. Haruka chuckles while covering her mouth. I swear she looks so pretty right now… My heart feels like melting.
“Kyosuke?” Haruka looks at me. Her eyes have a look that's stern yet soft. I turn my body to face her. “Yeah?” Her eyes are looking all over the place as if to avoid my face and she's fidgeting with her yukata. Suddenly, she looks me in the eye. “I…I have something to tell you…”She looks at me with sparkling eyes like a river reflecting the stars in the sky. For a moment, the world is completely silent.“I-”
BOOM
Haruka's words suddenly get swallowed by the explosion as a large firework lights up the night sky. Both of us avert our gaze to it and I stare at it in awe. The bright and colorful fireworks reflect in the crystal clear water as they launch into the sky. Haruka was right when she said the fireworks looked amazing here. I look back at Haruka. She's looking blankly at the sky.“Hey… what were you saying just now..? I didn't get to hear you… sorry…” I ask. “Hm?” She gives off a surprised expression.“Oh– ahh it was nothing important… Just forget about it.” After she says that, her expression suddenly shifts to an upset look. D-did I do something wrong? What if what she said was important… I won't be able to forget that! Another loud boom echoes in the sky. The fireworks continue to light up the sky with pride and confidence. Giving up on thinking about what Haruka said, I just gaze at them.
After a couple of minutes, the fireworks come to a stop. It was such a beautiful show that I don't think I'll ever forget this night. And being with Haruka… made it even better. I turn to Haruka to tell her how beautiful the fireworks were and suddenly… my words are caught in my throat and a wave of shock hits me. Haruka is… Crying.
“H-Haruka?! W-why are you crying? Are you okay?”I'm just making things worse, am I…? What am I even supposed to do?Haruka looks at me. Tears run down her face like raindrops on a window.“It's– it's nothing. It's just that…”She pauses for a moment.“The fireworks were so beautiful.” Haruka says in a shaky voice.
And as she says those words with tears running down her face, she smiles.
Yet in that smile… a deep sorrow lingers.
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….
Hell no.Who even does summer homework at the start of summer vacation?I let out a sigh.The memory of mom appears in my head…Should I…? Should I really visit mom? I’m left contemplating as I lie on my bed for a couple of minutes. I debate upon myself if I should or not. Once again I sigh. I guess I should visit. At least once.I get up from my bed. Now seems like the best time since my schedule is free.
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Surprisingly, mom was placed in room 501 again. Inhale…Exhale… Okay. I'm ready.The door creaks open. Mom…She's sitting on her bed with her gaze fixed on outside the window. It's mom. It's just mom. It's just mom… I burst into a dash. I can't bear it. The sight is too painful. All the memories just come back flooding all at once. It's overwhelming. It's overwhelming! As I'm running, a few tears run through my face yet it feels like warm blood.I'm panting heavily. I…can't. Slowly, I walk to the staircase. I don't feel like using the elevator.I clutch the stair rails tightly as I walk down. I desperately walk down until I eventually reach the ground floor. I walk past the receptionist without making eye contact and bow as I walk out.
Dad… What would you think of this?
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My head aches. The sight of Mom was unbearable for me… What would Dad think about this if he was here? Would he be disappointed? Upset? I don't know… It's been too long…
What if… what if I visit Dad? It's been so long since I last did. Should I? I feel like that's best. I come to that conclusion as I'm walking through the sidewalk.
The cemetery Dad is in is quite a walk away from home so I rarely visited. Well, that's a part of it. But I feel like I should now despite its distance.
On the way, I buy some flowers. They're pretty pricey to be honest but the reason for that is beyond me. Finally, after quite a long walk, the cemetery is within sight. And finally I'm inside.
Go straight…Turn left… Keep going straight…Then what again?
As I'm deeply pondering where the grave was I pass by it already. Realizing, I turn back.
So it was here. I slowly approach the gravestone labeled Takahashi.“Long time no see. Dad.” I mutter.“Are you lonely here?”“I'm sorry for not visiting often.”“What an irresponsible son I am, don't you think? Hehe.” “Ah. I bought some flowers by the way.”“Here.”I lay them down by the grave. “Mom is still recovering. But it's still not the same as before. I don't think it ever will be. I really miss both of you, you know?”I take in a deep breath.“Why did you have to leave me?” “Why couldn't things just remain as they were?”“If that didn't happen that day… Would things be better?”“Dad… Why did you have to die that day?”
“Why?”
“Do you even hear me? Are you even listening?”
I pause for a moment to catch my breath.
“If you are… I'm sorry.”“I’m sorry. I don't know if I appreciated you enough…”I say intending to scream. Yet it comes out as a faint voice. “I took everything you and mom ever gave me for granted.”“Now that I look back on it, I can't help but feel regret.”Sadness and guilt fills my entire body and my chest feels heavy as if a dumbbell is pulling down on it. Yet no tears leave my eyes. “This is useless isn't it?”“Haaaah…..” “Dad, I hope if you are listening that you will forgive me. I hope you'll forgive me for being the irresponsible and ungrateful son I was.”I stand up from the kneeling position I was in. “Goodbye dad. I'm gonna try to visit more often from now on.” I say as I'm about to walk away. Smiling faintly, I walk away and the gravestone grows farther until I eventually turn and it leaves my sight.
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‘That was one way to start summer vacation.’ I think as I'm walking on the sidewalk on the way back. A sigh escapes me. A moment after, my stomach grumbles. Right, I haven't eaten yet. There's a family restaurant nearby. I'll just eat there.
A door chime clanks as I enter and a staff member welcomes me. I find a table and begin ordering.
Later, I'm now done with my meal. I've paid for the food and I've already left the restaurant. Should I return home now? I think for a bit. Maybe I should walk around a little.
A gust of wind hits me as I'm walking and a sense of calm accompanies it. I think about earlier. ‘Perhaps all of this is for a reason.’ This thought appears in my mind as I'm walking. Maybe this really is all for a reason. A reason that I am yet to know. With these thoughts in mind, I keep walking, all the while appreciating the scenery around me.
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The door creaks open as I enter my apartment. I'm finally back. The quiet and dark atmosphere greets me and the door closes with a faint click. I walk aimlessly around the area then sit down at a chair. Suddenly I remember something…someone. Haruka. I haven't seen her in a while. I wonder if she'll still be in that spot. I check the clock and see that it's almost time for sunset. It's about the time Haruka usually goes there. I stand up from my chair. Maybe I should check.
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Seeing this familiar scenery somehow lifts my heart. The path tainted with fallen leaves and the trees lined up like chess pieces as far as the eye can see. Soon after, I reach the place. I take a peek. She's there! For some reason I'm filled with an indescribable excitement. I take a deep breath then make my way through the gaps in the trees.The moment I slip through the trees the scene opens up to a wider view. Haruka, standing in the center, is wearing a light pastel blouse tucked into a high-waisted skirt that dropped down below her knees. A pair of white sneakers, a canvas tote bag slung over her shoulder, and a straw hat. Her outfit really spits out summer. And for some reason, I'm really fond of it. “Haruka?”As my voice comes out of my mouth, Haruka turns around almost at the same moment. Her gaze catches mine. Her round eyes stare directly at mine and her short hair sways in the light breeze. “Kyosuke!” She exclaims gleefully.“Hi” I say in a calm tone. “Hi” Haruka responds.I walk a few steps closer.“Haven't seen you here for a while.”“Yeah”The rays of sunset illuminate all it touches. Beside me, Haruka stands staring into the distance. The next second I realize she's looking at me. “Did something happen?” She asks curiously.“Huh? Oh nothing much.” I reply.Again with her sudden questions…“Hmmm.. Okay” She says while lightly nodding.What is that supposed to mean? “Ah! Kyosuke look!” Haruka points up to the sky.“That cloud looks like a turtle!” She exclaims amused.“Ha?” I blurt out. I look above to where she's pointing. My eyes land onto a cloud that does indeed resemble a turtle. I burst out laughing.“Pfft hahahahahahaha!” I laugh while clenching my stomach. “What are you laughing about???” Haruka says, slightly pouting.“Nothing, nothing.” I say still chuckling.“I just found that funny, that's all.” “It actually looks like a turtle though…” She says.She looks up again.“Ah! It deformed!” She exclaims. I look at Haruka and notice she looks upset. She’s upset over a cloud..? Again, I start to chuckle. “Hey!” She starts to pout. Quite cute not gonna lie..I get embarrassed a bit upon thinking that but my laughter covers that up.
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Haruka and I spent some more time together until Haruka said she had to go since it was getting late. I asked if I could accompany her but she declined and said there was no need. I waved my goodbye and watched her make her exit.
Now it's just me and the scenery. The final bits of sunlight disappear from the sky until it's left shrouded with a black hue with barely a star in sight. ‘I should head home.’ I think. I mean it's getting really late. But… a part of me doesn't want to leave this place quite yet. I take a seat on the ground and gaze up at the night sky. More stars are visible now. “Just let me stay here for a bit more please.” I plead to the sky.
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By the time I arrived back home, it was way past nine. I take off my shoes. “I'm ho-” Oh wait… Mom is no longer here..I let out a disappointed, exhausted, lonely, and sad, sigh. No wait… More like that sigh was me releasing everything in me, even for just a moment.
I continue to go about my routine and eventually find myself on my bed. Once more, I sigh. I feel like I'm sighing all the time recently… I recall the events that went about today. I remember Haruka with her childish antics. As I'm recalling that moment I let out a soft chuckle. All the while I'm blankly staring at the ceiling as if it is the screen where I'm watching my memories from earlier play on. Then I recall my grave visit.…A moment of silence in both my mind and atmosphere lingers. Once again, like a consistent alarm clock, I sigh. You know what, I should sleep. Today was a long day. Huh, I wonder what'll happen tomorrow. For a moment I think that it'd be a normal and plain day, then I remember Haruka. ‘I want to see her again.’ I think. My day surely won't be plain if I get to spend time with her. I make this conclusion then slowly drift into sleep.
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A new day starts. My eyes open to a new morning. Rays of sunlight enter my room as if demanding me to get up. So as if accepting those demands, I get up from my bed to start my day. A yawn escapes me as I sit up. Walking to my door, I rub my eyes while deliberately ignoring the summer homework that I know I must do eventually. I then perform my morning routine as per usual. The summer heat sure is getting to me… I'm starting to sweat buckets at this point… In the midst of this scorching heat, Haruka pops into my mind. Haruka… I feel like seeing her is the only thing I'm anticipating for today. I wonder what I should do in the meantime though. I guess I'll just scroll through my phone the whole day until then. Since I've finished eating breakfast and all, I return to my room to isolate myself and doomscroll. Once again, I pass by my summer homework and continue to let it rot on my desk. I lie on my bed and start doomscrolling for who knows how long.
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Hours passed. I ate a simple lunch and went straight back to doomscrolling. I feel like now's a good time to see Haruka. She's probably there. I feel… quite excited and I don't really know why. Perhaps her cheerful attitude is why. Anyways, I should go now. I get up, tidy up and change into more decent clothes then head out.
It's quite hot. Those are the thoughts that fill my head. I don't feel nervous about seeing Haruka probably because we've been seeing each other almost everyday for a few months. I do remember being nervous before, but now that feeling is almost entirely gone. I'm here. Taking a peek through the trees, I see that Haruka isn't there. Eh whatever. She'll be here eventually. I squeeze through and walk towards the edge, then take a seat.
After some time, I start to doze off a bit. I'm getting quite sleepy. My eyes start closing and I start lying on the soft, silky grass…..
I fell asleep…? My eyes open a bit. Oh damn I did sleep. Upon realizing this I bolt up.“Oh, You’re finally awake!”“Woah!” Huh? I look towards who said that.“Rise and shine!.” Haruka says while giggling. She's sitting right beside me on where I was laying down. “Oh H-Haruka.. Hi. You're here.”“Yeah I've been here for quite a bit.”“What?!”Haruka then starts laughing.“You looked like you were sleeping so soundly so I didn't bother waking you up.” “Eh-ah-uh okay…”She laughs a bit while slightly covering her mouth. Then she turns to the view and stops. Her expression changes and she gazes blankly as if thinking about something important.“Is something the matter Haruka?”“Hm? Oh, ahh, it's nothing. Just thinking about something.”“Okay.” I reply“The summer festival is in a few days.” Haruka mentions.“Oh right. I forgot about that. I won't go there anyway. Too many people for my liking.” “Oh, I see.” Haruka replies.“You know, you can get a good view of the fireworks from here.” Haruka says.“Ohh, that’s interesting.” I reply.“Yes, it is. When the fireworks soar up into the sky, it gets reflected into the water making it such a beautiful sight.” “It’s a sight worth seeing.” As she says this I gaze into her eyes and notice that it’s filled with lots of excitement. It really must be that pretty huh. Maybe I should go see it for myself on the day of the festival. “Oh and it’s also perfect here since it’s far from all the hustle and bustle of the festival.”“Trust me you should see it.”“Perhaps I should.” I reply.After that, both of us stay silent for a bit. As if In sync with us, the world is silent too. Suddenly, as if an alarm clock went off, she gasps. Her expression changes into a mix of surprise and worry. Did she remember something? “Shoot. Kyosuke, sorry I have to go.”As she says this she's already walking away backwards while waving. Since it's all so sudden all I do is just watch her leave and wave back while saying a faint “Oh bye” along with it. Within a span of a few moments, Haruka is gone. Now it's just me and the river. Her words finally process in my mind.
“You know, you can get a good view of the fireworks from here.”
The fireworks…Huh..
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My phone chimes. The only person who would text me is Shota for sure. I reach for my phone.
Shota: [Yo! Wanna go to the summer festival? I know you don't like it but trust me, It'll be fun!]
I stare at the text message. Uh.. Should I?I begin typing.
[Uhh.. I'm too lazy to go through all that. Just thinking about the amount of people is draining me…]
I send in response. In a flash, Shota replies
Shota: [Trust me! You should go. It'll be fun I swear!]
Ugh. There's no going through this guy is there.
[Fine. Just this once then. But you better buy me food.]
There's really no persuading him to avoid going, is there…
The last time I went to a summer festival was back in 4th grade with my parents. That memory then saturates in my head as I recall it. I remember the bright, festive atmosphere. Mom was in a beautiful and sophisticated traditional yukata. I vividly remember Mom and Dad smiling at each other and them enjoying their time as if they were teenagers again. And I was just smiling and enjoying everything I was seeing. Those times were nice… I wonder if I could enjoy it like that again. I guess it is worth a try. With this thought in mind I close my eyes and decide to sleep.
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Shota: [Let's meet at 5 at my house. I'll be waiting so don't be late!]
“Don't be late” huh… Big words coming from you, Shota..
[Got it] I reply.
Today is the day of the summer festival. It feels almost entirely like a normal day that I would have forgotten about it if Shota did not text me. There's still lots of time before the festival so taking a nap would probably be the best way to pass the time. I turn off my phone and set it aside and lay down facing the wall. I begin to fall asleep.
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I wake up. I get my phone to check the time. Oh shoot. It's 4:33. Seeing this, I jolt up from my bed and hurry to get ready.
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After a ton of rushing to dress and freshen up, and running through the streets, I arrive at Shota’s house and ring the doorbell.
While waiting for him to answer, I think about my attire. Is this okay to wear to the festival? It seems pretty plain… just a t-shirt and shorts with a sling bag.. No this is probably fine. I swear I've seen people wear this to the festival too before. And why am I even worrying about this? Not like anyone will care anyway.
As I think about all this stuff I hear a door click open and a voice that seems quite unnecessarily loud reaches my ears.
“Kyosuke!” Shota shouts while running to me. “You're here!”“I was actually thinking you wouldn’t come and end up ghosting me knowing you..” Shota utters.“I’m not that unreliable you know.” I reply.“Sure…” Shota says in an unconvinced tone.“Anyways let’s go already!” Shota follows.“Yeah, yeah, let's go.” I respond”
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The festival is booming with people in beautifully patterned Yukatas and others in casual outfits like mine. Good. My attire isn’t out of place. All kinds of different aromas reach my nose and the lights of the festival blend into the sky which is slowly losing color and light.Shota is walking joyfully and is enjoying the sights of all the stalls. What is he? A little kid? I let out a small chuckle seeing him like that. “Kyosuke, let's get some choco-bananas!”“Oh uh sure.” I reply.
Me and Shota walk around the festival and do all sorts of stuff. Shota drags me to almost every stall. We go goldfish scooping and I watch Shota fail miserably when his net gets torn and all I do is laugh. After him, I took my turn and scooped 3 goldfish. Shota looked at me with so much envy it was hilarious. We get takoyaki, candy apple, and all sorts of food to stuff our stomachs. Shota keeps running around like a little child and I feel like I could easily lose this guy if I take my eye off for even just a second. I guess this isn't that bad after all huh. But something's been bothering me… not in a bad way but I just can't take my mind off it. I keep thinking of… Haruka.
I told Shota I'm gonna take a break while he went trying to win a gigantic plushie in a game. I'm sitting down on one of the benches holding a cup of juice in my hand. I wonder when's a good time to go to the riverside. Wait, when do the fireworks even start? What if it starts soon…. Maybe I really should go there already. I'll just tell Shota I'm gonna explore on my own for a bit. Speaking of Shota… where is that guy in the first place??? I scan around the area trying to find him. Don't tell me he went running around on his own… I sigh deeply. I swear that guy. Well I guess that makes it more convenient for me. I'm just gonna call or text that guy later.
I stand up and throw my cup in a bin nearby. I look at the crowd once more. I wonder if Haruka is somewhere among all those people. Well whatever, we'll see each other by the riverside anyways. With that thought in mind, I make my way through the people and go towards the direction of the river.
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The light from the festival fades into the sky from a distance. Even from here, the music and festivities are still faintly heard while they blend with the calming sound of rushing water. A cool breeze gently brushes against my face. This place feels like a time out after playing intense sports and as if in sync with the soft summer breeze, my breath is calm and still. I rushed to go here in case the fireworks would start soon and thankfully, I'm still early. Haruka isn't here either. Wait… will she even go here? What if I misunderstood…? Well, I'm here already so–“Oh, Kyosuke.”A familiar voice says behind me. Upon hearing it, I hastily turn around. And as if injected with adrenaline, my eyes widen and my heart races. I stand stunned. It's Haruka. She's wearing a lavender colored yukata patterned with various sizes of white flowers. Seeing her, I feel like I've forgotten how to breathe. She has a white obi tied neatly and elegantly to her back. Her hair is carefully styled with a gold hairpin that has a white flower design and dangling orbs of jade. She looks like a character who stepped out of a movie and… I feel like my heart is about to leap out of my chest.
“Does it… look weird…?” Haruka says hesitantly. Her cheeks are slightly red.“You've been staring…”The moment she says that, my body goes stiff and I'm suddenly super flustered. “Oh– Ah– was I? Really?” I say, scratching my head. Shoot, that's so embarrassing… I'm getting more embarrassed by the second. And before I get to say anything more, Haruka quietly walks up to my side. As she stands beside me, I look at her and even though it's a bit embarrassing, I say“You actually… look quite… uh… you look good.” My face is heating up as if about to explode. Desperately, I look away the moment I finish speaking and without looking, I hear a gasp from Haruka. After a few awkward moments, I look back at Haruka. She's looking straight down and her face is bright red. “You're not lying… are you…?” Haruka says without raising her head. “I-I’m not!” I respond. Haruka chuckles while covering her mouth. I swear she looks so pretty right now… My heart feels like melting.
“Kyosuke?” Haruka looks at me. Her eyes have a look that's stern yet soft. I turn my body to face her. “Yeah?” Her eyes are looking all over the place as if to avoid my face and she's fidgeting with her yukata. Suddenly, she looks me in the eye. “I…I have something to tell you…”She looks at me with sparkling eyes like a river reflecting the stars in the sky. For a moment, the world is completely silent.“I-”
BOOM
Haruka's words suddenly get swallowed by the explosion as a large firework lights up the night sky. Both of us avert our gaze to it and I stare at it in awe. The bright and colorful fireworks reflect in the crystal clear water as they launch into the sky. Haruka was right when she said the fireworks looked amazing here. I look back at Haruka. She's looking blankly at the sky.“Hey… what were you saying just now..? I didn't get to hear you… sorry…” I ask. “Hm?” She gives off a surprised expression.“Oh– ahh it was nothing important… Just forget about it.” After she says that, her expression suddenly shifts to an upset look. D-did I do something wrong? What if what she said was important… I won't be able to forget that! Another loud boom echoes in the sky. The fireworks continue to light up the sky with pride and confidence. Giving up on thinking about what Haruka said, I just gaze at them.
After a couple of minutes, the fireworks come to a stop. It was such a beautiful show that I don't think I'll ever forget this night. And being with Haruka… made it even better. I turn to Haruka to tell her how beautiful the fireworks were and suddenly… my words are caught in my throat and a wave of shock hits me. Haruka is… Crying.
“H-Haruka?! W-why are you crying? Are you okay?”I'm just making things worse, am I…? What am I even supposed to do?Haruka looks at me. Tears run down her face like raindrops on a window.“It's– it's nothing. It's just that…”She pauses for a moment.“The fireworks were so beautiful.” Haruka says in a shaky voice.
And as she says those words with tears running down her face, she smiles.
Yet in that smile… a deep sorrow lingers.
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