The Phantoms of Yesteryear (Part 2)

“Soooo then, how are things going between you two?” Taira asked excitedly.

Ume was hearing his voice through her gaming headset. The two had been in the process of a late night session of Genshin Impact together.

Dressed comfortably in her pajamas and sunken into the large bean bag she has in her room, Ume’s focused eyes were latched onto the screen.

“Don’t you think that’s a silly thing to ask? You’ve been with us every time we’ve met.” she replied coolly.

A few chaotic mashing of the buttons needed to win the battle she’s fighting in came next, and she sucked on her cheek with angst while doing so.

“He’s mentioned how much he’d like to spend time with you alone. He’s just too nervous around you to ask.”

“Ehhhh… I dunno why,” She stood to her feet and got closer to the TV screen, throwing her leg on the ledge of her entertainment center and gripping onto her controller with heightened focus. “I haven’t given him a reason to be nervous around me.”

“He’s nervous because he likes you, obviously!”

This statement prompted a momentary distraction that caused her avatar to take some damage. With an agitated click of her tongue she replied, “We barely know each other though, I’ve only hung out with him like four times. It’s weird!”

“That’s how crushes work, Kimura!”

“I guess so…”

“Think about how cool it is to have someone like that interested in you. I mean, the guy is starring in that new drama coming out on NHK, he’s like, really big time.”

“Uwaa! C’mon pay attention, you’re killing me here!”

Taira got distracted while he said that, and Ume’s avatar got ganged up on by monsters.

“My bad!”

His avatar came in for the last second rescue upon realizing his mistake.

“For real though Kimura, I feel like you’re not excited enough about this. Hagi-senpai specifically came up to me at school to ask about you.”

“You two are already on a nickname basis? Moving awfully fast don’t you think?”

“I mean, we’ve spent almost every day together for the last month. He’s even taken me to some film sets!”

“...Exciting stuff.” she said with the enthusiasm of someone half asleep.

“Look, I’m just trying to support my two dear friends in love, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“But I’m not sure I even like him. He’s really nice, don't get me wrong, but maybe I’m just not interested in actually dating someone? I’m pretty busy, you know?”

“You’re just stuck up on Aki-kun.”

Ume lets her eyes wander off screen for a moment, and then Taira's character gets overwhelmed.

“H-Hey, a little help here!” he shouted.

“Do you want me to think about this game or your new buddy?? I can’t do both right now!”

“Alright, how about this.” Taira pauses the game in place, leaving the two to converse without any more distractions. “I’m going to meet Hagi-senpai and some of his friends for karaoke this upcoming Sunday. How about you join us? You’ll get to see how he acts around his friend group when he’s not nervous. You’ll be able to see how outgoing he really is.”

“Ehhh I don’t know… I have a shoot that morning so I might be too tired.”

“You have way too much natural energy flowing through your veins to use that excuse.”

“N-No seriously, I’ll be swamped!”

“Since when have you been so difficult? I thought Aki-kun was the only one who’d make up any excuse to avoid doing something he didn’t want to do.” Taira responded suspiciously.

“Stop mentioning Tani will you!?”

“Ahh, oh yeah… sorry about that.”

Their line went silent for a few dragging moments.

Taira broke it by saying, “I promise this is the last time I do this... I know how much Aki-kun leaving us hanging back in middle school has affected you. It was terrible for me too, I was completely alone until Hagi-senpai came around and helped me move on. I think he will help you move on too.”

“I have tons of friends now though.”

“...Girlfriends from the all girls school you’re attending.”

“There’s no difference between the two, I’m friends with you aren’t I?”

“The context of our friendship is different though. You’d be dumb to think otherwise. Unless you’re purposefully trying to stick a knife in my fragile heart??”

“....”

“So what do you say? Come hang out with us this weekend?”

Ume internally resisted this suggestion, but Taira has made a few valid points that struck at something distinct regarding the people she has surrounded herself with as a high school student. She may really like her current friends, models and schoolmates alike, but she has kept them at arm’s length.

The fear of getting too close to them and having them leave had become a defining feature of a latent anxiety she’s done well to suppress.

Perhaps taking Taira's advice will help her get rid of that oppressive fear? Only one way to find out.

“Okay fine, I’ll be there.”

--------------------

What started with a couple lunch and coffee hangouts along with Taira, turned into meeting Hagihara more occasionally for activities done at night. It wasn’t long before Ume was going to restaurants and karaoke bars with Higahara’s fellow actors and actress friends, spending time so late into the night that missing the last train home always seemed to be a possibility whenever she did.

She found herself having fun for a variety of reasons, he and his friends seemed so put together and mature, drawing the attention of passersby wherever they went. People would even stop them in the street and ask for autographs. Being in a group like that made her feel like she was in the company of giants, and to an outsider looking in she was standing as tall as any of them.

Seeing Taira come out of his shell was also interesting. He had dyed his hair blonde and pierced his ears, and flirted with girls at the mixers they would go to.

He would drink and really let loose when given the chance on nights where they had the privacy of a karaoke booth. A far cry from the otaku she played video games with, he managed to blossom into someone that found confidence in something other than his gaming skills right before her very eyes.

Ume never partook in underage drinking despite Hagihara’s older friends doing their best to pressure her into it. She noticed that Hagihara himself never took a sip, and he had told her it’s because he would always prefer to be on the same wavelength as her.

Initially received with an awkward chuckle, she did find his consideration charming. She especially found his talent on the mic to be impressive. One night, he sang a western song in English that she recognized as the opening theme to Only Yesterday, a Studio Ghibli film.

It was a very catchy tune with lyrics harkening toward a nostalgic homeland that does enough for the listener to reminisce about their own past fondly. It didn’t only have to be a home thought about in the song however, it could be a delicious meal prepared by grandparent, a perfect spring day spent outside, or the sweet memories of times spent with a friend.

Hagihara hit whatever high notes he needed to hit, drawing the oohs and awes of the crowd inside the booth. But his voice, along with the song stirred up a tempest of emotion within Ume. She was reminded of the movie the song was featured in, and how the main character in that story had grown up and reconciled with getting farther away from her time as a child.

The fondest of memories can become melancholic the more that time creates distance between them and the present, and hearing this song served as a reminder of that fact. He unintentionally made her appreciate the bittersweetness of now and then.

She had to quell a quivering lip once he finished singing, and she didn’t do a good enough job to keep him from noticing.

The impact that Hagihara Katsurou had on the world around him was a defining feature of his. He was like the sun, and every person he interacted with was orbiting around him.

At the conclusion of that night, Ume and Hagihara had to physically keep a drunk Taira upright as they walked through the late night streets of Tokyo. One arm on each of their shoulders, Taira was in a jovial mood despite making a bit of a fool of himself, and the three shared laughs that echoed off the buildings around them and brought vitality into an otherwise dull neighborhood.

“I’m glad that the owners of the karaoke bar are friends of mine, Tai made quite the scene stumbling out of there like that.”

“Maybe next time we keep the booze away from him.”

“Next time, huh?” Higahara asked teasingly.

Ume looked away after realizing what she said.

“Huueeyyy.” Taira said, literally inserting himself in the middle of their conversation. “Don’t talk about me like I’m dead. I’m right here you know!”

“You might as well be a corpse right now, can’t you at least try to stay upright?? You’re heavy!” Ume quipped in response.

“My mind is willing and able, but my legs have taken on the shape of wet noodles.”

“I think it's more likely that your brain has become noodles.”

“Hehe sorrrrryy, I hope I didn’t ruin your night together with Hagi-senpai. This was my first night ever drinking.”

“You literally drank last weekend too! You’re a perpetual law breaker, that’s why you’re in this sorry state!”

“Meeehhhh scold me later mommy, I feel like I’m gonna vomit.”

“Please don’t!”

Hagihara laughs, adjusting his grip on Taira’s arm. “You two sure get along.”

Ume sighed before replying, “I really do worry what kind of tomfoolery he’d get up to without me there. Are you doing a good enough job keeping him from self-destructing? A girl almost slapped him earlier for being a perv!”

“If not for nothing, he fits right in with my friends at school. He’s in good hands, he just got carried away tonight.

“That’s a relief.”

Taira threw his leaning head upright and shouted, “How can you two go right back to talking about me like I’m not here??”

The three made their way to the lobby entrance of a fancy high-rise condominium, and Ume let Hagihara take full control of keeping Taira upright.

“Take good care of him.” she said with a wave. “Give him lots of water!”

Hagihara waves back, but before she could walk off he asked, “Would you like to come up to my flat?”

“...Huh?”

“I live here on my own, but I have multiple beds, there’s enough space for both you and Tai to stay.”

He offered that bomb without a hint of apprehension for the damage it could cause.

“O-Oh…” The few seconds it took to conjure up a reply felt like minutes. “I think my parents would kill me. They’re already going to be upset that I’m coming home so late again.”

She declined as politely as she could without making the shock of his bold proposition seem obvious.

“Ah yeah, of course…” Hagihara said, shaking his head and smoothly moving his fringe from one side of his forehead to the other. “How about you and I hangout next week sometime? I’d like to take you to a movie.”

Ume looked at Taira, who seemed to be teetering on dozing off. “What do you think, Taira? Do you have time next week?”

He didn’t answer, but Hagihara spoke up instead.

“Actually, I was hoping it’d be just the two of us.”

By this point in their relationship, she had only spent time together in groups with friends or with Taira, so he’s officially asking her out on a date now.

She assumed that this proposal would come up eventually, yet the arrival of it did enough for her next couple heartbeats to feel distinctly uncomfortable. The truth was that she preferred to keep things the way they have been. Over the last couple weeks, she had come to the conclusion that she wasn’t ready to date Hagihara or anyone else for that matter. But by this point she’d spent enough time with him that if she rejected his advances now, there would be no way it would never go back to how it was.

Understanding that she was selfishly enjoying herself on borrowed time, she didn’t know how to navigate her way to a proper conclusion in regards to their relationship dynamic.

“....”

“Might be too soon.” Taira said with a hiccup. They both looked at him as he spoke. “Kimura has been too hung up on Aki-kun to give you a chance.”

“Taira!” Ume replied incredulously.

“It’s true though!” Taira wobbly moved away from Hagihara to stand on his own. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit unfair to Hagi-senpai? You know that he likes you, but you keep putting off doing anything about it.”

“W-What?”

“Don’t listen to him, he’s drunk.” Hagihara said with a deescalating chuckle. “There’s nothing unfair about my desire to spend more time with you. Please don’t feel pressured.”

Him saying that didn’t change the fact that she was very much cornered. The pressure he just tried to downplay was so overwhelming that she felt like she was squeezed inside an industrial compactor.

“I-I… uhmm…”

“Hagi-senpai is too nice.” Taira said with a slur of his words. “I think it’s time you finally look his way. Aki-kun is long gone Kimura, how is it that you’re the only one still clinging to him?”

“Stop mentioning Tani! You’re the only one here always bringing him up!” Ume replied with a cant of her head and her hands balled into fists.

“I will once you stop letting him hurt Hagi-senpai!”

“Okay okay,” Hagihara said, putting his hand onto Taira and shooing him towards the entrance to the lobby. “I don’t know why he decided to bring this up now. Try and cut him some slack, he’s not in his right mind.”

“....”

“Text me when you get home safe, will you?” Hagihara asked with a tender smile.

“...Sure. See you.”

----------------------

The following week went by without much contact between the three. The way that night ended had made things awkward and rattled her to the point that text threads that started between them went nowhere, and she even played her nightly videogames alone.

Taira didn’t even apologize for his outburst once he sobered up, opting to instead pretend like it never happened. She wasn’t used to anything of this sort, and she struggled to not let the ripple effect of that night drag the rest of her life away in its tide.

Everything she tried to do to mitigate the damage didn’t work, and she found herself in a rut. She wasn’t sure if it was something they would ever recover from.

The thought of all of that, was eating at her every moment of every day, until the very moment that she received a message on Facebook that absolutely purloined her entire world.

[Hey, long time no talk.]

Ume just about dropped her phone in shock.

The message came from Akihiro Tani.

A long two and a half years had gone by since they last spoke, she couldn’t believe that he suddenly reached out to her. She immediately reached out to her model friends, and a flood of texts invaded her phone offering her a wide variety of advice. An almost frantic pace back and forth in her room while scrolling through her friend’s messages was needed to ground herself before she could text Tani back.

She and her friends decided it’d be best to start with small talk, which worked great in the beginning. Not too long after, the two began informing each other what they have been up to, and it ended with making plans to meet at Mandarake in Akihabara on Sunday.

To say that she was excited would be an understatement, she could hardly contain herself in the days leading up to the meeting. She spent the hours at school in a cheerful mood, telling her classmates about their reunion with such enthusiasm that they had to remind her to talk about something else every once in a while.

The only people she didn’t mention it to was Taira and Hagihara; the anticipation of meeting Tani had pretty much taken both of them out of her mind completely. She could worry about them after the weekend ended.

And so, with all that excitement and expectation of the unknown built up over days, Sunday had arrived.

She had done her makeup perfectly, dressed herself in an outfit she just had a photoshoot in, and left her house.

Along the way she let little fantasies of what was to come tug at her mind. Although certain that he would be blown away seeing how she looks, she worried he might not even recognize her right away.

Maybe he’d be confused seeing her like this? Despite her confidence in her appearance, she anxiously set out to their meeting spot feeling like someone who had a giant pimple on her forehead.

Pulling out her phone and looking at her reflection in the camera, she managed a smile and said to herself, “I need to calm down, he’ll definitely think I’m cute!”

Exiting the train at Akihabara is always a bit jarring, the station being underground felt exceptionally crowded on this day, but she navigated her way through it and up the escalator while specifically on the look out for Tani’s familiar face. There was a chance that he’d be exiting the station at a similar time, and the thought of bumping into him sent her heart into a flutter.

Stepping outside, the afternoon sunlight illuminated the colorful world of Electric Town around her; people dressed in their cosplay were walking around and enjoying the festive atmosphere, the LED billboards and advertisements were clear and bright, the Mario Kart tourists even happened to drive by right at that moment.

The energy was palpable, everyone seemed as happy as she was at that moment.

After a short walk she reached Mandarake and waited outside the entrance. Peering at her phone to check the time, she let out a sigh of relief, knowing that she made it here a little early.

11:58

Tani would arrive in just 2 minutes.

Each second lasted forever.

And then 12 o’clock came and went in a flash.

Next thing she knew, it was 12:20.

Double checking past messages with him, she confirmed that the meeting time was noon. There’s no way he should be confused about when their date was supposed to start.

[Everything okay? I’m here.] she texted him on her Facebook app.

No answer.

She waited another 15 minutes, and when she looked at her phone and saw her last message still wasn’t read, she began to panic.

[Are you hurt?? Did something happen to you on your way here!?]

If he was this late, it must mean that something had gone terribly wrong. He had never once been late to anything dating all the way back to primary school. So her mind became flooded with dreadful thoughts--- maybe he’s been in an accident and got hurt? Maybe he’s feeling ill and is incapacitated? She hadn’t talked to him since the night before, a lot could have happened since then.

She tried to call him multiple times over the app, but both calls went unanswered.

1 o clock slid by in an agonizingly drawn out fashion, and follow up texts were still left unread. Leaned up against the outside wall of the building, her view of the bustling world in front of her was hectic and blurry. The face she had so desperately wanted to spot in the crowd earlier felt more like a distant dream that got ever more distant with each prolonged second that she waited.

She didn’t know what to do.

And so, she stayed where she was.

Another ten minutes passed, and she impulsively looked at her phone once more.

What she saw, delivered her heart the vicious slash that cut the last remaining string holding it together.

All the messages she had sent Tani had been read.

That meant that saw her concern, balked at her calls, knew that she was waiting for him where they planned to meet, and simply ignored her.

“Oh…” she muttered, eyes glued to the phone.

Managing to move her heavy fingers, she typed one more message,

[You’re not going to come, are you?]

The message was instantly read, and no response was returned to her.

His silence was her answer.

“Why?” she asked herself, leaning against the building.

She stood there watching groups of friends meet with each other, sharing laughs and making their way to their destinations. Their interactions seemed to be attacking her for even daring to believe she’d be amongst their ranks today.

Everything around her became heavy to the point that supporting the weight of her body was too much for her legs to bear, so she allowed it to take her to the ground and onto her knees. With her hands gripping the phone, she looked towards it as though it were a person and asked aloud, 

“What did I do to make you hate me?”

She could only answer that herself, and her answer is one that looked to destroy her.

On the verge of tears and mere seconds from allowing herself to fall apart in public, a familiar voice stopped her descent into an especially dark place.

“Kimura-san? Are you okay?”

Lifting her downtrodden face towards the source of that voice, she saw Hagihara standing there with an expression of concern. The sun glistened off of his blue hair, and his eyes glowed extra bright in the light as he held his hand out to her.

“What are you doing here?” She asked as she took his hand and was lifted to her feet.

“I had an autograph signing event nearby, I was just heading back to the station when I caught sight of you.”

“Oh… I see.”

“What’s wrong? You look upset.”

“I am upset, actually.” Ume shuffled her feet and hid her clenched fists behind her back. “I just got bailed on, so I’m super saiyan level upset. I can't believe my hair color hasn't changed.”

“As pretty as I think you'd look with blonde hair, I don't think it'd do enough to mask the troubled look on your face."

"Gee, thanks."

"Haha sorry, I meant no offense."

That got a rye chuckle out of her.

He put his hand on her shoulder and asked, "The person who no-showed... was it this Aki-kun that I’ve been hearing about?”

Ume’s face twisted in a way that revealed her true feelings about the matter. She was very obviously trying to feign anger when in fact, she couldn't have been more sad and hurt.

“It was… I’m sorry.”

That response lacked any of the faux resentment she had broadcasted earlier, and it revealed the reason why she had been avoiding both Hagihara and Taira. She couldn't find it within herself to move on from the hope that Tani would come back into her life. 

Hagihara waved his hands in front of him and replied, “No need to apologize, I understand. Tai gave me the rundown of your relationship with him. That’s why I wanted to give you space since our karaoke night.”

It would seem that Hagihara knew that this was the case as well.

“I can't help but want to apologize though, I haven't been straightforward with you about it."

"It's okay, believe it or not, I'm quite the patient guy." He returned his hand to her shoulder, prompting her to look directly at him as he said, "But you on the other hand... I think you're too patient."

"...?"

"You've waited long enough for him."

Tears started to stream down Ume’s face as she finally reached her breaking point. To her, hearing those words felt like the concluding sentence of an incredibly lengthy novel being read aloud. 

The novel had a devastating end.

“I suppose…” she murmured, finally yielding to a thought she had been too afraid to face for a long time. “I suppose you’re right.”

To Be Continued!