Using Resources at Hand

Maria Brooks

It had been 15 hours since Dylus texted me. I refreshed my phone over and over again while heaving a gentle sigh.

Why did I continue talking to him after that incident? It was enough to make me wince and drop to the floor. I wanted to rip my hair out. It was hard to believe I had the audacity to give Dylus my number after I mistook him for my crochet plush.

I replayed the song on my record player in the music room.

If I am being honest, he seems like a sweet guy, but I don’t know anything about him. Besides, my parents comment on all of my friends. Even my father tells me not to associate with anyone besides someone I can trust.

I picked the green yarn up and began making a magic ring for my crochet doll hairpiece.

It was already time for my first lesson, followed by work.

I washed my face while staring at my reflection in the golden rimmed mirror. Sure, I had a smile on my face, but my eye bags were sunken and red. I didn’t even cry. After wiping my face with a soft face towel, I brushed my hair, put on jewelry, and applied makeup.

Maybe this concealer has what it takes to hide my insecurity.

“Bye, I’m going to class!” I said to Mother.

“Maria, our chauffeur has returned from his trip. He can drive you there,” said Mother.

“Umm…”

I do get tired on the way there.

“Sure,” I said.

“Great. Please call the chauffeur.”

The maid called him on the phone, and he appeared with grey hair and wrinkles, wearing a white and black uniform of the company.

“Please take me to class,” I said.

“Of course!”

We went to the parking lot, and he asked, “Which car?”

I said, “Which one is available?”

“All of them in this row.”

I pointed randomly in the air and said, “This one.”

My finger pointed at a glossy black RSCC-78A.

We boarded the car, and the ceiling showed a view like an aurora filled with twinkling stars. There were multiple seats and a tray of soda and snacks.

“What made you change your mind, miss?” asked the chauffeur.

“I thought that if I have a resource, I might as well use it.”

“A wise decision.”

I nearly fell asleep before my phone beeped multiple times.

Dylus: Hello. Sorry for the late reply. The train was way too crowded.

Maria: No problem.

Dylus: I thought I was going to pass out! Peak times, I swear.

Maria: I’m very sorry to hear this.

Dylus: No worries. Life is like that.

Maria: Yes.

There was no response for a while. I wanted to agree with him, but I couldn’t. My life wasn’t like that in a long time.

Maria: Are you okay?

Dylus: Yes, thanks for asking. What about you?

Maria: Feeling a bit depressed.

Someone would probably ask why, given how I had, well, everything. I had everything and everyone, aside from people I could talk to about anything. However, I wanted to be alone for a bit.

Dylus: What’s wrong?

Maria: Nothing.

We passed the scenery of green trees and flower beds, toward the campus, where people were cycling, crossing the street, and talking to each other.

Dylus: You can tell me. I keep all my secrets buried, along with those of my friends.

He just called me one of his friends. The friend zone tag hit me like a blade that missed me by a few inches. At least I wouldn’t have expectations anymore.

Maria: Alright, thank you. I’m going to my lesson now. I’ll talk to you later.

Dylus: Okay. My messages are open.

Maria: Thank you.

I got out of the car with my designer sunglasses on my head.

A guy whistled after seeing me.

The chauffeur exclaimed, “The nerve!”

“I know, right? Meet you in two hours,” I said.

“Alright, miss.”

I entered the class exactly two minutes late and went up the steps to sit in the back.

Ah, I hate being late.

I began taking notes when the lecturer told us that counseling practice would be offered next semester.

That’s right. I’m training to be a therapist. But why?

We began talking about data collection while I doodled in my notebook.

I wanted to help people, but can I really?

The scribbles of the moon, buttons, and dead leaves filled my margins.

The moon must have represented light in the middle of the darkness, buttons that represented memories, like my grandfather’s, and the leaves couldn’t have been more dead than the look in my eyes.

Can I even help myself?

Time passed quickly as I heard “Class dismissed!”

After doing a couple of breathing exercises, I got in my car. We zoomed past, and I asked the driver to play some music.

“We should get fuel,” he said.

“Alright, no problem.”

Stopping at the gas station, I suddenly got a call from an unknown number. Swallowing, I wondered if I should receive it.

“Hello? Maria?” said a voice.

“Yes? Who is this?”

“Look beside you!”

If this is some kind of stalker, I swear I should leave!

“There’s no one!” I whispered loudly.

“Look carefully.”

The voice seemed way too familiar.

“Bye!” I said.

I cut the call and blocked the number at once.

It was then that my eyes fell on a message.

Dylus: Sorry. I’m playing Truth or Dare with my friends, and Wil suggested I’d prank someone over the phone by scaring them.

Maria: Seriously?

Dylus: Yeah.

Maria: Don’t do that again.

Dylus: Yeah, sorry.

Maria: Did it really have to be me?

Every time the car stopped, I looked to my side to make sure no one was there. As soon as I got home, I ran back to the music room and played a new song. The wall was covered in a mural of sheet music of my grandma’s favourite song of all time. There was a small piano, a harp, and a cello in its case that my father used to play back when he didn’t have that shoulder injury. It was too bad I wasn’t good at either of those instruments.

Dylus: You okay?

Maria: I think so. Are you home yet?

Dylus: Yeah. Why?

Maria: Can I have a conversation with you?

Dylus: Sure.

Maria: Okay. I’m calling you.

Dylus: Oh, okay.

It would be better if we weren’t even friends to begin with. He had plenty of friends and a tough life. What similarities could he really have with me? I was just calling to gauge if I could keep him as a friend or not.

“Hello,” I said, coughing.

“Hello? Everything okay?” he asked.

“Yes and no.”

“What’s wrong?”

I said nothing and listened to the background noise of music instead.

“Is this music I hear?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m playing the acoustic guitar. Don’t mind me. Go ahead, Maria.”

“Do you believe that someone like me could ever have friends?”

“Hmm? What do you mean? You have friends.”

“You see… I always make friends and end up losing them.”

“Why so?”

“My parents are judgmental.”

“Oh. You are over the age of 20, right?” he asked.

“Yeah. 24 actually.”

“Cool. So am I. You shouldn’t let them meddle in your business anymore.”

“Yes. Well, here’s the thing. They’re usually right about people. These so-called friends only want to come over for a photo shoot. The only reason why they want to hang out is because they want me to pay for their dinner.”

He burst out laughing.

“What?”

“You’ve surely got some freeloaders as friends.”

“Yeah. I did, at some point.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“What?”

“You already have friends. Me, Wil, Liam, and maybe even Bianca.”

NO! I’ve been friend-zoned by a guy once again. I should put that on my hall of shame! Although it’s probably for the better.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. I’m pretty sure you’ll be a welcome addition to our group. Bianca has some issues, but I don’t blame her, considering what happened. Ever since our friend left the group, she has been complaining about the lack of female friends. I’m sure the two of you will get along.”

“Thank you for the warm welcome.”

“You’re really formal, aren’t you?”

“Yes. I’ve always been. Please don’t take it negatively.”

“I’m not.”

“Good.”

“Good. I’ll be on my way.”

“Yes. Wait!”

“Yeah?”

“Dylus, wait!”

“Yes?! What’s wrong?”

“If you know any guy who’s looking for a girlfriend, please inform me.”

“What the hell?”

“Yeah. Please be on the lookout. I’ve been searching high and low.”

He chuckled and said, “Okay. Fine. I’ll let you know.”

“Thanks! Bye.”

I cut him off, gritted my teeth, and looked at the ceiling.

Why is my life so boring? I have to do something to fix it.

It was then that I made up my mind. It was Operation: Find a Boyfriend. Of course, it wasn’t for the actual sake of finding one. I needed to mess with my own heart so that I’d feel something. I’d flirt with every and any guy…

But how does anyone flirt?

I proceeded to watch an old movie on DVD and noted everything in my designer journal with a sleek metal pen.

Step one is to fall off the stairs so that the male lead would catch me. Step two is to argue with the male lead until I fall in love. Step three is to have the male lead kiss me, and then, happily ever after.

Sounds crazy. Sounds like a plan.