Deep Ocean

It was the day of the funeral.

Ludwig was gone, and Sophia was devastated. He was a caring father who wanted to do everything for his daughter. Some friends that were close to him, or his coworkers to be precise, were thinking about what will happen with their work now.

Smith was holding Sophia so that she wouldn't fall. Ludwig was lying there in a casket as the dead usually do. He was in a suit and he had this peaceful look on his face which the dead sometimes have.

Mary visited as well with Wilson. She was sad on the inside maybe, but on the outside she was showing a stoic look.

At the funeral there was a young apprentice of Ludwig's, a hard-working baker called Igor. Igor was from Russia and he loved the life far away from his homeland. He cared about Ludwig deeply, but he just couldn't cry.

Igor was wondering if it was okay not to cry. Other people are so stoic. Some are just standing and not crying, but I should be able to cry, right? No, it is not important. This is not about me. I can cry later. To this day, Igor wonders if he ever cried about Ludwig. He thought about him a few times, but he was not sure if in any recent history he cried about something meaningful.

Igor was in a relationship with a beautiful woman, Liza. Liza was able to ignore Igor's stupid deadpan or sarcastic jokes, and also she was caring and patient to listen to Igor when he had his issues.

Liza was talking to her friend, Amelia. "You know, Igor is a great guy, but he is so bothered by the weight of life."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like, I get it, life is hard, life can seem meaningless, but you can't just wrestle with those thoughts for many hours a day. Am I crazy for thinking that?"

"Hm, I get what you mean. I also like to look positive at the world. Depressing stuff is not really my groove."

Liza was nodding and adjusted her nice blue hair. Liza had long, long legs. She was tall, and it was this height that prevented her from looking round. She was carrying around a few extra kilos of weight, but because of her height it was looking good on her.

"It is hard for me, Amelia, to always be the one who shines the light."

"My husband is positive mainly, so it is easier for me," Amelia responded. "If he is negative or depressed, I know he can do it and bring it back around."

"I mean, Igor can do it as well, but I just never know. It feels like he is always on that edge. He is always going deeper and deeper in that black ocean."

"Girl, just leave him then."

"What? No, never. I love him."

"In the world full of pain, you must always find the little rays of hope," Igor said while shaking Sophia's hand. "I loved your father. I am truly sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, Igor."

Smith was still beside Sophia like a wall of support. With his gravelly voice, he asked Igor about his connection to Ludwig.

"He was my sensei. I don't know what I am going to do now."

Smith looked at the floor and then back up. He was piercing through Igor's eyes. "Listen, young man, I can see you care deeply, and that is all you can do. It is enough. You don't have to do nothing more. Just go into the world with care and heart."

"Thank you, sir." Igor said and bowed slightly.

When Sophia received the news, she was crying uncontrollably. Smith was there, not knowing what was happening, trying to calm her down, but Sophia's whole body was shaking and the tears were dropping.

"It is going to be okay," Smith was repeating and trying to hold Sophia safe in his arms. He let her go to the bathroom and wash her face.

"Can you make some soup?" Sophia asked, indifferent and empty.

The room was full of light and shade. The air was filled with these tiny invisible particles. Smith was absorbing the sight. "Of course I will make mushroom cream soup."

"Great."

Wilson was home with his wife, sad for Sophia.

"I guess this is how the world is functioning. Someone gets pregnant and the new life will come. But some lives go back into nothingness."

"Wilson, you are too, too dark. Lighten up. It is important that we are fine. Sophia is a strong girl. She will be alright as well. William is great for her. He will help her."

"I guess you are right. Let's watch some rom-com series or something."

"Ugh, but I am in a mood for some real rom-com, you know."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Wilson asked, oblivious to his series and movie choices that he makes and likes.

"You always say rom-com, and then it is the most tragic stuff ever. Not only do they not end up together, but a lot of weird and tragic stuff happens, and all of that is not good for the baby. Put on some predictable, funny thing, alright?"

"I will, I will."

The days were passing by. The winter had come. The bakery was working under the young apprentice, Igor. He was immersed in the work, and as his sensei, he would always give his all and strive for perfection.

He would, same as Ludwig, sometimes wonder why something was not done yet. I said how it needs to be done. Why is it not done yet? Do I do it? Do I just go mental on the person who I gave this task to?

No, that is not what a leader would do. I will be patient.

Patient was also Smith with Sophia. The two of them were seeing each other, and he would give her space when she needed it. He was the pragmatic one, and he had no issue with being put on the sideline for the process of healing through which Sophia was going through. If she would get angry at the world or a kitchen plate, Smith was there to make the save, like a top football goalkeeper.

"Why me? Why me?"

Smith was looking at Sophia while she was pacing around asking this question.

"Why do bad things have to happen to me?"

Smith was thinking how this question was wrong and that it leaves space for other people to have bad things happen to them. But he was quiet. It was not time for this blind semantics.

Trying to calm Sophia down, he remembered this talk that he heard over the bug in his psychiatrist's office. This woman got cheated on, and then she slept with her ex-boyfriend's father, mother, sister, and brother. Smith thought that was really extreme. And he couldn't imagine the rage and chaos to do something like that. Go and ruin a whole family, or just like, is that even revenge if they all enjoyed it? Smith was going down a spiral of his own, as he often would.

Sophia, who was panicking, was asking him, "Are you listening? Are you hearing me?" with a gentle voice. She noticed that her loving partner had something on his mind. "Sorry, love. I know this is also hard for you. Thank you for being here for me."

Smith cleared his throat. "No, no, I am glad to be of help."

"You know, Smith, I bet that some priest is responsible for this."

"What?"

"You know them. They just drink wine and drive. It's all they do. I know their methods of work. Yeah right, the blood of Jesus. They are just getting drunk all day with stupid reasoning. I know we have an epidemic of drunken priests driving around. I know it. I just can't prove it yet."

"Yet?" Smith raised his eyebrows.

"You think it is not possible to prove it?"

"Look, darling, the proof is sometimes not the thing that you need to feel good, but it is the proof that is needed to prove something."

"What?"

"Yes, exactly."