A Good and A Bad News

…Why do I keep running into him?

There he was––sitting on the far side of the bench with his legs crossed, completely absorbed in his phone.
His back was slouched in a not-so-strange manner.

I remained frozen in front of the bench for a moment before regaining my sense.

…

I gotta do this.
I have to.

I took a breath and walked up to him.

“H-H-Hey…” I muttered, “C-Can I sit here?”

…

Nothing.

...

Maybe he didn't hear me. 

"Can I–"

Suddenly, he lifted his head to glance at me quickly before retreating back to his phone.

…

Surely, he didn’t ignore me, right?
He just couldn’t hear me, right?

He looked up again.
This time he just lifted just his eyes, didn’t even bother to lift his head properly, and kept looking at me.

...

He’s…really staring at me.

“I asked if I can sit here?” I said, a little louder this time, “It’s not occupied, right?”

“Ah––”

He flinched.

“…Yeah, sure.”

He started scooting to the side.

Then more.

And more.

I’m not carrying some kind of virus, you know.
You are gonna fall if you scoot any further.

“H-Hey, watch out, you’re gonna fal––“

And he did.
Or, he would’ve if I hadn’t grabbed his hand on time.

“Are you okay, Finn?”

“Y-yeah,” he replied, steadying himself, “It’s nothing. I’m fine. I, uh…”

He paused for a moment.

I sat down on the other side of the bench.

“The weather is great today, isn’t it?” he said, looking up at the sky.

“Yeah…really…lovely…”

I was gonna use that conversation starter. FUCK.
Now I gotta think up of something else.
This sucks.
Think, me, think!
Oh––

“I like kids.”

…

…

WHAT THE HELL????!!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK ???!!!
Why in the world would I say that??? I

t sounds weird and congrats now I sound like a predator.

“Me too…”

…Woah

Maybe it was only me who was reading into it too much.

“…not in a weird way though.” He added.

…

OH MY GOD
I did sound wrong!
I want to die…

As I was busy in self-hating, he stood upright, and started walking away.

“Do you really not remember me?”

The words left my mouth before I could stop them.
I didn’t think about anything, they just…got out.

He stopped mid-way.

Then slowly turned to look at me.

…

And walked away.

…

Huh?
What’s this…Am I…crying?
I’m not even that sad…

The tears came anyway.
Like they had been waiting.

After a few minutes of sitting there in silence, I got up.
Wiping my tears, I turned towards home.

This weekend has got to be the worst one EVER.
Things can’t get any worse.

The whole walk home, everything kept replaying in my head.
Everything.
Every word.
Every pause.
Every look.

And, in no time, I was in front of my door.

I reached for the handle.

Huh?
Oh––FUCK ME! My keys!

Turned out things could get worse.

I slid down against the door and sat on the floor, burying my face in my arms.

And gradually, my thoughts drifted back.
Back to when things were better.

…

“Morning, Finn!”

“Mornin, Lena!”

“You are so late,” 8-year-old me complained, “my mom said you might not come today.”

“Sorry, Lena,” he said in an apologetic voice, “My mom was crying again…I had to stay with her.”

“Your parents were fighting again?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine. Let’s go, Lena.”

We lived next door, so we walked to school together almost every day.

Because of that, everyone teased us a lot.

After school, we’d go to the park.

Just the two of us.

“What are we playing today, Lena?”

“Hmmm…” I tapped my chin, “Hide and Seek!”

“Just us?”

“Of course!”

“Ok! Sounds fun!”

“You are IT! Count to forty. And don’t go home this time. Try harder to find me, ok?”

“I will”, he said, “I promise I will find you, Lena.”

…

‘Find me’, huh?

…
I wonder what happened to you…

Judging from his reaction today, there’s definitely something going on.
Why would he actively avoid me??
If he’s really not Finn, then I’m just a random girl to him.
A classmate at best.
He has no reason to go out of his way to avoid me.

…

It has to be her.

Kayla.

…

“Ah––hey, Lena!” Lotte’s voice snapped me out of it. 

I looked up

“Look at you," she said, walking up to me, "waiting for me outside like a child. I told you to not miss me too much, didn't I?”

“You sure took your sweet time, Lotte.”

She snorted and unlocked the door.

We stepped inside.

I kicked off my shoes and headed straight in.

“You…” she said, slipping off her heels and putting them aside, “ended up going out, huh?”

“…yeah,” I shrugged, walking towards the kitchen and opening the fridge out of habit.

Only ingredients here…nothing to eat.

“So,” I called out, “how was your date?”

“It was sooooo good!!” She yelled back, already halfway into the living room.

“After the aquarium we got ice-cream together.” She continued, jumping onto the couch, “And, guess what––he had already made a reservation at a restaurant. And without telling me!”

“Sounds fun,” I replied, taking a sip out of the water bottle, “I’m definitely not jealous.”

“Also,” she added, “One good and one bad news for you. You see, I did a bit of digging up.”

I paused.

“…On what,”

“On our guy. The fake Finn.”

I walked out of the kitchen into the living room, and stood there, emotionless.

“What did you find out?”

“You don’t look very excited.” She said, narrowing her eyes, “Guess you meant what you said earlier, huh?”

She leaned back.

“Good. Then I won’t tell you anything.”

Wait…I know what I need to know already, but hearing more things won't hurt, right?

“Well,” I began, trying to sound casual, “It’s not like I care about that fake Finn guy or anything, but… there’s no harm in knowing, right?”

Lotte looked at me.
And smirked.

“What?” I frowned, “Your efforts would go to waste if you don’t tell me.”

“I will tell you.” She said sweetly, “But, you have to make me tuna sandwiches first.”

“Huh? Didn’t you just eat on your date you fatass?”

“Aw, c’mon,” she waved it off, “it got used up on my way here. Don’t be stingy now. Do you wanna hear or not.”

“I…” I sighed, “Fine, have it your way.”

I walked into the kitchen again, tying my hair up out of habit.

Bread. Tuna. Mayo.

Some spices.

Cheese slices. Lettuce.

And of course, pickle.

My hands moved on their own.

I’d made these so many times, I didn’t even have to think anymore.

I walked into the living room and placed the plate in front of her.

“Are you ready to tell me now?”

“Finally!” she said, grabbing one and taking a bite immediately.

And then another.

And another.

“Yef, I gan dell yu now––“

“FINISH CHEWING FIRST!”

She finished the sandwich even faster than I prepared them.

“Whew, that was really good.” She said, “Marry me already! I want to eat your cooking forever.”

“Yeah, Yeah,” I said, “I’m telling Alice that you are cheating on him.”

“Aw, relax,” she grinned, “He can keep being my side chick.”

“Are you gonna tell me or not?!”

“Calm down now. I'm gonna tell you." she began, "Which one do you want to hear first? Good or bad news?" 

"Good one...maybe?"

"Ok," she said, making dramatic pauses, “I asked Alice about our guy, and turns out they’re classmates.”

“WHAT?” I straightened. “Really? Do they know each other?”

“Well, well,” she smirked, “look who suddenly cares.”

“Oh my GOD you’re the worst, Lotte. Just answer the damn question.”

“They not only know each other, they’re like best of buddies.”

I paused.

“And he didn’t tell you about him before?”

“Actually…” she scratched her cheeks, “he might’ve mentioned a Finn a few times…I don’t really care about other guys, you know.”

“LOTTTEEE!!!” I stood up, “You’ve known about Finn this whole time and you didn’t bother to tell your friend whose life’s purpose is to reunite with a guy named FINN??”

“Calm down, Lena.” She shrugged, “How would I have known that he’d be the same Finn. We still don’t know, do we?”

“Yeah…about that…”

“Anyway,” she continued, her tone shifting slightly, “Now comes the bad news.”