I flipped the page of my manga, my eyes following the speech bubbles but my mind wasn't processing it because it was stuck on the girl walking to and fro past me. She was dressed for an outing and currently bustling around the house to keep up with that outing.
"I'm off." Finally, she said.
I didn't say anything back which caused her to stop and turn to me. After letting out a deep sigh she said, "I won't be back until later this evening, I've already told Mom and Dad. There's food in the fridge or you can make something for yourself."
I scoffed under my breath. What did she think I was, a child? I am very capable of taking care of myself.
When I continued to ignore her, she sighed again before turning around and leaving. Immediately I heard the door slam shut, I dropped the manga in my hand and ran my hands through my bangs.
Misumi and I weren't on speaking terms after the words she threw at me the other day. I became indignant at the thought of her words and I couldn't bring myself to forget about it. So I chose to stop speaking to her, as childish as it seemed, it helped me calm down and process things. I think understood why she said those things but that didn't mean I forgave her, not at all. Not unless she took it back.
I sighed in boredom, I was the only one left at home. Sometimes, I really hated not being able to go anywhere. I hated the feeling of loneliness that creeped up on me, reaching it claws out and taking hold of my heart, it consumed my mind that the only thing I could thing about were dangerous thoughts. I curled up into a ball, ready to drown in the sorrow of my thoughts when my phone rang, pulling me out if my trance.
I sat up, my hand reached for my phone and placed it on my ear without checking who it was because I already knew. This was the first time he would call me, I couldn't help my curiosity and excitement.
"Hey." I said softly, trying to hide the excitement behind my voice.
"Hi. How are you doing?" So formal, it made me smile.
"I'm...good. and you?" I said back.
"Good. Are you home right now?"
"Um yeah. What's up, you coming to pay me a visit?" I asked. A teasing tone lavedy voice.
"Yeah, I'm actually at your doorstep."
Wait. What? I ran to the front door, took a deep breath before turning the doorknob and opening the door slightly. Lo and behold, a uniform wearing Takashi stood on the other side with a beaming smile on his face.
I shut the door immediately, running my hand through my hair and clothes to make sure I didn't look like a mess. I opened the door again, this time to let him in.
"What are you doing here?" I hissed, confusion bloomed on my face.
He beamed, strutting in like he owned the place. "I came to see you."
"What about school? Aren't you worried." I said, following behind him as he walked into the living room.
"Nope, I already took care of it." He looked around the living room, spotting the bag of cheese balls I had left lying on the table, the big bottle of cola beside it and my laptop which layed open with an episode of demon slayer playing on the screen.
Crap, I forgot to clean up. I wished the ground would open up and swallow me whole right now. He was going to find out that I was a neet, a weird shut in otaku. I didn't want him to know that.
I shut my eyes tightly as he turned to get a better look at the screen. I waited to hear the disgust in his voice when he figured out what I was.
"You watch anime?" He asked casually.
"Um... Yeah." I whispered sheepishly. Silence followed soon after, my heart continued to best steadily like a ticking time bomb waiting for the explosion to erupt.
"Cool. You know when I..."
"Wait.. You don't mind?"
"No, not really. I am supposed to?" He looked confused.
"Um no... I guess. I'm just surprised that you don't mind. I expected you to be.. you know."
"If it's something that you enjoy and it makes you happy then it shouldn't matter to you what I think. I mean, I can only dream to make you as happy as anime does." Am awkward silence followed soon after before his eyes widened in realization of his words. "I'm so so..."
"Do you want to seey room?" I blurted out.
"W... what?" He stuttered.
"My room. Do you want to see it?" I bit my bottom lip as I waited in anticipation of his answer.
"Sure."
I couldn't contain my excitement. I grabbed his hands and pulled him towards the stairs, over the stairs and I didn't let go until we stood inside my room.
Once we got there I spread my arms out, a proud smile on my face. I had never felt this giddy with excitement. I worked so hard on my room, decorating it with wallpapers of my favourite animes, sheets of paper filled with drawings of my favorite characters littered the walls of my room. An entire shelf full of mangas and novels, a Daizai dakimakura, some stickers and a bunch of other stuff.
"Wow." He breathed. His eyes darted around the room.
Wait, wasn't this all too much. Did I move too fast? I did, didn't I?
"This is amazing." He breathed. He walked over to the wall where the head of my bed rested. White sheets of papers littered with hand drawings of anime characters hung on the wall. "Did you do all these?" He asked.
"Um yeah. I know they're not that good." I blurted out almost immediately.
He scoffed. "I'm jealous. I can't even draw a straight line. This is incredible." He left the wall and turned to my bookshelf. "Have you read all of these."
I nodded sheepishly.
"Wow, you must have a lot of free time." He said.
"Like you don't believe." I muttered expecting him not to hear me but he did.
"Hey."
"What?"
"Let's go out."
I blinked, twice before his words processed in my head "What!!"
"Come on. It's going to be fine." He walked out of the door.
I got up too and followed closely behind him. "No no no, not possible. I can't go out."
"Yes you can."
"Yeah but that's only on special occasions and my parents must be around. I can't go out alone."
"You won't be alone, I'll be with you."
"Thanks but no, I'm not allowed to. I..I can't." I froze in my step...
He stopped before turning around the face me. "Hey, if you don't want to go it's fine. I won't want to force you to do something you don't like. But do you really want to spend the rest of your life confined and restricted. There's more to the world than what you're allowed to see and I want to show it to you but only if you want me to..."
I bit my bottom lip, my mind raced to decide on what to do. I let out a sigh of defeat, I want to go out and this was an opportunity literally presenting itself to me. "Okay. But we have to be back before Misumi gets back..."
"Already setting am alarm..." He pulled out his phone from his pocket and set an alarm for half past four.
"And I have to change my clothes. I'll be back." I turned around and ran up the stairs. Five minutes later I stood at the door, Takashi in my front, his hands reaching for the door knob.
I watched as everything seemed to play in slow motion. His hands closed around the knob, twisting it and just as he was about to pull it open my hand reached out and clutched a sleeve of his shirt.
"Im scared." I whispered. "Can I close my eyes?"
He took my hand in his other hand. His hands felt warm again mine. The sound of the door creaking open filled my ears followed by the sound of feet scruffing against the floor. I took a deep breath, fully concentrating of the feeling of his hands around mine. My legs followed as he pulled me gently behind him . My ming blanked and I couldn't hear or feel anything else except the sound of my heart beat pounding in my ears. I couldn't count how much time had passed and how many steps more I had taken before I heard Takashi say, "you can open your eyes now."
My breath froze as I looked at the building in front of me. "That's my house." I cried in excitement. A soft laugh fell from my lips before tears began to pool around the corner of my eyes. This was the first time I would see the front of my eyes from this angle and it felt surreal. I looked around, I could see my room from here. It looked lonely and deserted like an abandoned part of the house. Was this was Misumi saw every morning whenever she turned to wake goodbye to me. That felt sad to think about.
I felt a gentle tug on my hand and I turned around to look a Takashi. "Let's go." He beamed.
This, this was all possible because of him. My chest tightened at that thought, an intense feeling of gratitude along with something else I could not identify settled in my chest.
"Okay." I smiled back.
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