Gorō’s Past and Megumi’s Feelings

“I’ll meet you, girls, later in class!” Megumi smiled at her two friends, Chiyo and Natsume, after Momochi exchanged a significant glance with her. “I have to talk with my brother alone.”

“Oh, okay!” Chiyo nodded, adjusting her glasses. “We’ll be in the courtyard for the rest of the break if you want to find us.”

“See you!” Natsume waved her hand at her.

They parted. Momochi instructed his Student Council member friends to wait for him in the office, so they left them, too. He and Megumi continued their way through the corridor alone.

“I reckon you want to go to the girls’ bathroom?” Momochi asked, eyeing her loose hair and the hairpins she held.

“Yeah, I should put my hair back up.” Megumi nodded.

She dwelt on the earlier events – how she confronted Shin and his cronies over the nerdy Yoshigawa, who ran away right after and left her at the senior delinquents’ mercy. Thankfully, those seniors listened to Gorō, who was well disposed towards her. He even protected her from Shin and beat him up for her! Although it was terrifying, it also filled her with gratitude and joy over restored justice. She didn’t condone violence, but her heart told her that, in those moments, Gorō had looked cool, just like Captain Rufy from her stories.

“I knew Gorō Shimura would be placed in your class today, although I opposed it many times when the board of directors discussed the matter,” Momochi said, interrupting her thoughts. He stopped and looked at Megumi, his eyebrows rising in the inner corners. “Megumi, how did you befriend that guy already? It’s been just two periods and a lunch break! Do you perchance… like him?”

“Huh? No way!” Megumi turned red like a tomato. “I don’t! I-I mean…” She cast her eyes down. She hesitated, pursing her lips, but then sighed in resignation. It was better to tell her brother the truth. “I… I guess I do, I think. A little.”

“Yeah, with all your gallant pirates, that was to be expected.” Momochi rolled his eyes, smiling. But then, the corners of his lips lowered again. “Shimura’s not just another delinquent, though, Megumi. I believe you should stay away from him.”

“Why?” Megumi asked. “I-Is it because he beat Shin up? He was trying to protect me, Momo! I know he was too violent, but Shin was being a jerk! And_”

“It has nothing to do with his violence, although I don’t condone it,” Momochi interrupted. “Boys fight all the time. But Shimura is different, as I said. He’s closer to that Captain Rufy of yours than you think, Megumi, and not in a good way.”

“What?” Megumi blinked in confusion. “What do you mean?” She grew frightened by his grave allusion to her character. Captain Rufy might be charming, but he’s a tyrant on his ship, and a man of questionable morals! She thought. How can Shimura resemble him in those ways? He protected me and stood up for me twice!

“They share a similar past behind bars,” Momochi explained, knitting his brows. “I bet it struck you as strange to have a student suddenly be transferred in November, right? It’s… It’s because he’s fresh out of juvie.”

Megumi gasped, colour draining from her face. It couldn’t be! But now that she thought about it, it made sense… Dazai Miyamoto mentioned during the lunch break that “they let Shimura out at last”. Back then, Megumi didn’t understand his words. Now, she realised he must’ve meant the juvie administration by “they”.

Tears came to her eyes. Why… Why did she find a criminal so attractive?! She knew there was no way to justify someone going to prison so young, and yet her heart yearned for a justification.

“Do… Do you know why he was locked up?” she asked, looking at her brother with sorrow. “If he’s a full-blown criminal, I’ll know to steer clear of him. But, if there’s a chance that there was a misunderstanding… Ugh!” She snarled and wiped her tears away with her wrists, angry with herself. “Of course, I know he’d be dangerous either way! But…”

Momochi watched her with sympathy, sorry for her troubles. He gently patted her head.

“Dazai told me it was because he stabbed some adult opponents with a broken piece of glass,” he said, indulging her curiosity. “It was a huge gang fight, and the older gangsters outnumbered them, so Shimura resorted to the sharp weapon he found at hand to protect his friends. But Dazai’s too fond of Shimura, they’re childhood best friends. So, his view of the matter might be biased.” He shrugged. “I… I can’t tell you to steer clear of Shimura when I’m friends with Dazai myself.” He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. He wished to lift his sister’s mood and show her that she wasn’t the only one befriending delinquents. “But I wouldn’t want you to be attracted to Dazai either, even though he’s my friend. It’s not as much about what kind of people they are as what sort of danger they carry.”

“Yeah, I understand.” Megumi sighed. “Thanks, Big Bro Momo!” She smiled bitterly, hugged him and buried her face in his chest. “I… I’ll tell Mom about this myself, so you don’t have to.”

“I wasn’t going to.” Momochi smiled back. “I wanted to mention that you tell her yourself, but you beat me to it.”

They laughed. Then, Momochi waved his hand at her and left her at the girls’ bathroom. Megumi smiled at him as he descended the stairs. But when he disappeared, the corners of her lips lowered. She sighed and went into the bathroom.

Megumi stood before a wash basin and began tying up her hair into twin tails with her sharp hairpins. When she was done, she eyed herself in the mirror. The reflection of a neat, orderly maiden in rectangular glasses, her eyes a bit swollen from her recent tears, gazed at her from there, downcast.

Your first crush, and you had to choose one straight out of juvie! She thought, chuckling at the irony. Aren’t I hopeless? Oh, well… She bent away from the mirror and adjusted her uniform. I’ve dealt with my emotions before. I can do it again. She reassured herself. Criminals aren’t my worth, so I’ll stop caring about him.

Sure of her rational powers, she strolled back to class. The break was still ongoing, but she wished to prepare for the Japanese lesson. It was her favourite subject alongside English. And she adored her teacher, Ms Yoriko Shinagawa, who was her mother’s student in her university days.

I wonder what Sensei thought of my essay on Akutagawa’s short story of our choice? She thought, excited about the results of the previous assignment. Has she read Yam Gruel? I bet she has! I wonder, did she see what I saw when she read it?

With a joyful smile, she pushed the classroom door open, but froze at the threshold and squeaked, going red. Shimura sat at the teacher’s table in the empty classroom, his face half-buried in his folded arms. He was gently rolling the teacher’s chair from side to side with a subtle push of his heels as he stared into space, brooding. The creak of the opening door and the squeak of the incoming Megumi caught his attention, and he jolted. He turned towards her, and their eyes met. He grew flustered.

Why is she here? He thought, his cheeks burning. I thought I’d have more time!

Oh, crap… Megumi thought, hot in her face, too. Why did he have to be here alone, of all people?!

She eyed Gorō’s fine build, his strong, delicate fingers gripping the edge of the table, his seemingly nonchalant pose with his feet crossed, and his mysterious dark eyes exuding intelligence and emotional ease. Her heartbeat increased so much that she heard it reverberating in her ears. She tried to remind herself of her conviction back in the bathroom, but her body was stronger, giving her flurries.

It’s no use… She thought, desperate, as she stared at Shimura. This guy’s too hot to ignore!