The second act of the Chess Olympics' opening ceremony

"And welcome back. Now let's pick up where we left off," Nancy nodded as the Norwegian team entered dressed in viking attire and sang Ved Stanford Brua. 

"Good thing we came back now, because Norway is a big team to watch on both sides, but arguably more so on the women's," Danny stated. 

"Because of the maestro, yes? Not to mention, Kuon Nanya, formerly Japan's top player, who failed to make the team, has defected to Norway, making their title hopes far more viable." 

"Yeah, the maestro is strong, but much like with the men's side, Norway's only got one super star player with the rest being average, but now that Kuon's here, the team won't have to worry for the 3 matches the maestro is forced to sit out. Ah, in case any of our viewers don't know, maestros are only allowed to play 8 rounds of the tournament, though they can play these 8 in any set order." 

"I'd imagine most will try to sit out the early rounds, as those are the best chances of teams getting an easy opponent." 

Czechia came out next, proudly playing and singing Škoda lásky. 

"Ah, now that's a classic song the world over has heard. If you haven't heard of it, now's your chance to Czech it out," Danny grinned. 

"I'm only refraining from glaring because I'm good friends with Lucie who's down there and would approve of you invoking her catchphrase," Nancy sighed. 

"Come on Nancy, be a little nicer to me." 

Bulgaria was up next, performing Pustono Ludo i Mlado. 

"Look at that. Bulgaria's own hit idol group, LKZ69!" Danny swooned. 

"Do I want to know the meaning behind the name or why you're swooning over them?" Nancy glared. 

"Uh... Hey look, it's Kazakhstan!" Danny exclaimed as Team Kazakhstan entered singing Jаlğаn-аy.

"Trying to avoid the question. Fine, Kazakhstan has a strong women's team, so much so that it wouldn't surprise anyone if they won gold." 

"They've already got a gold Ewetuber duo, er, trio if we include their agent." 

"Remind me to ask for your search history once the broadcast concludes." 

Team Uzbekistan came in next and sang Ona Yurtim. 

"Fun fact, nearly every guy on the team is named, Nodirbek," Danny grinned. 

"I guess it's a popular name in Uzbekistan, especially amongst chess players," Nancy shrugged. 

Then to everyone's surprise, 5 women, 3 men, and two penguins walked out as a majestic song began to play." 

"Um, Nancy? Who are these guys?" Danny asked. 

"Perhaps check the script... Huh? Antarctica?" 

It turned out this was Team Antarctica, with the two penguins being members of the men's team. 

"I mean, I don't think it says in the rules all players need to be human, just that they're all from the same nation, but when did Antarctica become a full-blown nation?" 

"Who knows, but since they're here, we can't do much to argue." 

Poland came in next with everyone singing and dancing to W moim ogródecku. 

"Here's a favorite on the women's side. Poland's always had strong women, and this line-up is nothing to scoff at," Nancy smiled. 

"Strong in mind and body. I can see one of the girl's muscly thighs from here," Danny noted as he zoomed in the camera on a girl with short green hair. 

Slap! 

"Focus on your job," Nancy glared. 

"I am. The viewers want thighs," Danny mumbled as he rubbed his sore face. 

The Armenian team came in next and performed Nino. 

"Armenia's always been a strong chess powerhouse, more so on the men's side than the women's side," Danny noted. 

"Yes, but the women's team is seeded in the top 20. They have a chance at a medal," Nancy argued.  

"Speaking of medals, Azerbaijan could snag some in both sections given their talent pool," Danny nodded as Team Azerbaijan entered and sang Nazende Sevgilim. 

"True. Though if I'm being honest, I feel the only teams capable of winning in both sections are the US, India, and maybe Prussia." 

Next up was The Netherlands singing a song about the VOC. 

"The nationalism is strong in The Netherlands thanks to the DESPERs. That girl leading the charge is Henrika van Pelt, the crown princess of the nation. Thanks to her, the VOC has revived and is at it again in the East Indies and beyond. Indonesia's barely hanging on, with all its grandmasters and prodigies struggling to keep Dutch forces at bay," Danny stated.

"A shame such a leader has taken hold of such a wonderful country," Nancy frowned. 

"Well, sad reality is that 99% of world leaders can be classified as either an asshole and or war criminal." 

"What about France's?" Nancy asked as the French team entered. 

"Hmm, I hear he lost an eye and an arm in a war, but he had long since been discharged before becoming France's leader," Danny noted as the French women began dancing the can-can. "That being said, I'm sure all combat veterans have seen and done some stuff they never want others to know about. That being said, Fifi says he's a good guy, and he's well-liked by the French populace."

"And?"

"And what?" 

"It says he's a maestro." 

Danny did a double take. "You serious!? Guess that's why the guy never competes in tournaments despite Fifi claiming he's really good at chess."

Next up was America. Despite the protests of her sister, Agatha performed magic before all as the American team walked out,and square danced to Cotton Eye Joe.The sole exception was Peter who grumpily lounged in the back of a tractor trailer that was also part of the act.

"Well damn! Never thought I'd see square dancing grand witches. But I hear the Broadstone family's got some huge influence over chess in America. Agatha and Elenora are both grandmasters, with Elenora being America's rep at the WWCF," Danny stated.

"She certainly is a showboat. Though perhaps not the biggest one here," Nancy sighed as a tank came rolling in.

Riding atop it was the Croatian men's and women's teams, with the nation's leader and tournament participant, Vlatka Jurkovič, standing at the front as she sang and danced to Naranča. The other women danced gracefully like Vlatka, while the men danced sporadically, and while holding machine guns, or at the very least, replicas of them.

"Talk about a cancellation boomerang. I hear Vlatka was always an asshole, but when they cancelled her, she became a Desperado, got a DESPER, and took over the country. Now she's pretty much a dictator, with folks now lining up to kiss her ass, which is a shame considering how democratic Croatia was following the Yugoslav wars," Danny frowned.

The next team up was the Bosnian team, who rode in on mobile artillery while singing Bosanska Artiljerija.

"Well that's certainly a performance. Surprised they all agreed to do this," Danny noted.

"Why do you say that?"

"Don't you know? Bosnia has 3 co-presidents. In order to get anything passed, all three gotta agree to it."

"Danny, I think that only applies to politics, not something as minor as this."

"Hey, many nations are taking this opening ceremony seriously. I mean, are you keeping count of all the military displays we've seen?"

"I'm not, and don't think I want to. Now let's see, Montenegro's up next. Three Balkan nations in a row."

Yet when everyone directed their attention to the stage, they were met with Mirjana struggling to drag her 4 teammates along with her as Crnogorgi played.

"Ah, poor Mirjana. She really does run everything in Montenegro. She should kick that lazy bum president out of office," Nancy huffed.

"Montenegro's president is a Desperado, heck, all Balkan leaders are. That's why there haven't been any major territorial seizures in the area, which trust me, does not make Serbia happy campers," Danny stated as the Serbian team entered singing Oj, ružice rumena. "Circling back to Bosnia, all three of its presidents became Desperados at the same time. That essentially put potential Republika Srpska secession in stalemate much to the fury of Serbian nationalists."

"I can see why," Nancy nodded as the Georgian team entered singing Gilvelo.

"But do you want to know what really ticked Serbia off? I'll give you a hint, it's the team coming in next after Georgia."

Once the Georgians had cleared the stage, there was a pause before Team Kosovo marched out singing Marshi I UÇK.

"Just like in Bosnia, Kosovo's leader became a Desperado, meaning no DESPER matches could be fought for land seizures as Desperados can't subject each other to DESPER matches. And since Serbia's leader is also a Desperado and the only way for a nation to seize territory legally is to win a DESPER match..."

"The Serbs were checkmated, rather than stalemated in a sense."

"Correct. And considering there are quite a few notable ones in power that dream of a Yugoslavia revival, this one was a slap in the face."

The next team to enter was North Macedonia, with all but one of its members proudly singing Biser Balkanski.

"Who's the sourpuss?" Nancy asked.

"Ofelio Kanjo, the daughter of the country's president, Nevena Zograf. She's become enamored with Esperanto and attempted to try and turn North Macedonia into an Esperanto nation, but failed. She might be a prodigy, but her mom's a grandmaster and head of the country. Also a Desperado now, much like the rest of the Balkan leaders," Danny declared.

"Speaking of Esperanto, isn't there an Esperanto cult now?"

"Yeah, think it's on a man-made island somewhere in the ocean near Europe. Not sure where, but the team is competing, so maybe someone can ask them."