The last act of the Chess Olympics' opening ceremony

"Welcome back. It's time for the final phase of the opening ceremony. Some teams did come out while we were away, but the cameras were rolling, so feel free to scroll back and watch everything at your leisure," Nancy smiled as the Romanian team entered singing Drum Bun. 

"Yeah, we can't commentate on everything, but at least everyone gets filmed," Danny nodded. 

Next in was Brazil, performing acrobatics while singing and dancing to Baianá.

"Ah shit, we're going to Brazil, or more like Brazil's already here," Danny laughed. 

"Is it your mission to invoke every dank meme these teams are associated with?" Nancy glared. 

"Um... I guess?" 

Ukraine entered next, dancing and singing to Ty zh mene pidmanula. 

"Here comes another medal vying team, at least in the women's section. No disrespect to the old greats on the men's side, but well, they're on the older side. Except for my homie, Dmytro," Danny smiled. 

"True, the men has some greats in their midst like Vsevolod Yanchuk, but yeah, they're dark horses for the gold."

Next up was Team Canada, with all their members looking a little sad as they walked by silently in lumberjack attire.

"Why's Canada frowning?" Nancy asked.

"Didn't you hear? They lost a good chunk of their grandmasters, and only have a few left," Danny stated.

"That's horrible. My thoughts-"

"Ah, I meant they lost most of their grandmasters to Quebec."

As if on cue, in stomped Team Quebec, singing and dancing to M'en revenant de Sainte-Hélène.

"Given most of Canada's grandmasters hailed from Quebec, the province felt it could finally get away with the secession they've long sought. A DESPER match later, Quebec's its own country. And they're not the only such case of a nation splitting into two or more over political disagreements."

Five women and five men then entered, singing and dancing to Zum Gali Gali. 

"Here we have the Republic of Israel, also dubbed, West Israel. See that woman with the long white hair that covers her left eye? That's Irit Inbar, the country's prime minister," Danny stated as he pointed towards one of the women dancing. "Following an attack on Israel almost a year ago, the government's planned retaliation was to acquire a DESPER and go on a campaign to conquer nations in the area, both hostile and friendly, as in chess, those nations had no way of beating them. The twist, however, was that Irit, one of the country's top grandmasters, was against the plan and decided to lead a secession movement in order to split Israel's more liberal locales from the hardline ones like Jerusalem. Thus, under the condition that she'd become a soulless lapdog if she lost, Israel's then prime minister agreed to challenge her to a DESPER match. Given her rating of 2730 at the time, Irit had no issue humiliating the prime minister at the chessboard, resulting in the prime minister being killed and the Republic of Israel being formed with its borders nearly identical to Israel's with the exception of the Jerusalem District, Ashdod, Ashkelon, and a few other locales. Then Irit made the smart play of joining the Desperado League, negating the threat of Jerusalem ever trying to reabsorb the Israeli Republic into its territory."

"If she disposed of the prime minister, why the need to secede and form a new nation?" Nancy frowned.

"Well... the answer to that is the very next team coming in."

Five women and four men dressed in black along with a towering man in regal attire then marched in singing Hava Nagila.

"That's the Empire of Judea. After then-Israel's prime minister was beaten and disposed of by Irit, the remaining Israeli territories that didn't become part of the Republic of Israel formed the Empire of Judea. Since they had a fair share of grandmasters under their wing, such as their own King David I, the big guy down there, the empire quickly began conquering territories via DESPER matches, many of which were one-sided due to the gap in chess prowess, making territorial expansion a breeze. King David himself has a staggering rating of 2813, making it easy to see how he was able to pull off all the feats he did. In fact, Irit's the next highest rated leader in the area at 2748, and the only one along with Egypt's pharaoh to be rated above 2100, making it easy for David to expand Judea's boundaries. Perhaps Irit foresaw she'd be powerless to stop the plan she opposed, and thus, tried to spare like-minded locales from the effects of Judea's actions. And she wasn't the only one to catch on. Apparently Jordan's only grandmaster helped some of the locales in the West Bank and Jordan to the southern Red Sea, leading to the territories forming the nation of The Tihamah Isles."

"Land can move?"

"With DESPERs? You bet. And it can also copy land layout and buildings, even ones thousands of years old, but no living organisms like fauna and flora. It can create replicas of flora and robotic fauna though."

"It's hard to believe we live in a world where nations now determine control of land via a high-stakes chess match, but that's our reality. Now instead of military might, it's a nation's chess prowess that determines its strength, hence why many nations are now headed by grandmasters. Though a notable exception is India, who just so happens to be in next."

Garbed in traditional wear, the Indians quickly took center stage before breaking out in dance.

"Saloni and Indira really got the moves, on and off the board," Danny grinned.

"And why are you zooming in the camera on their feet?" Nancy glared.

"Uh... footwork's key to the dance. Ahem, getting back to what we were saying before, India's prime minister isn't a grandmaster, nor the strongest chess player in his nation. However, when it comes to territorial disputes, leaders are allowed to have one of their citizens fill in for them if they're not a strong enough player, hence why India now controls all of Kashmir as in the field of chess, Pakistan didn't stand a chance against their army of 85 grandmasters strong and counting."

Next up appeared to be a team of 3 young women, an effeminate man with short white hair and a goatee, and a middle-aged bearded guy singing Ne orji, ne sejaj.

"Wow, didn't think we'd see a mixed team here, but technically speaking, it is allowed as it's the "open" section the men all-" 

"Danny, they're all men."

Danny stopped and blinked for a few seconds. "NO WAY! Look at them! They all look- Oh, I don't see any boobs... Still, how the heck do they pull it off?"

"Just one of the natural wonders of Slovenia. Fem-boys are kind of their thing." 

Next up was an army of big beefy hairless men, clad in nothing but gag balls, thongs, and chains around their necks pulling a large carriage full of 5 women. 

"MUSH! MUSH! HAHAHAHAHA! BOW BEFORE THE QUEEN OF THE NILE, DOGS!" a bald woman garbed in would could only be described as a fusion between ancient Egypt and cyberpunk laughed as she whipped the men. 

"That's Egypt's pharaoh... Tausret II. Woman lives like she's in 4000 BC with the exception of her sci-fi fusion drip. She's quickly become the biggest menace in Africa, especially due to the fact that she has a thing for raiding nations and kidnapping men to force them into slavery." 

"Hmm? What's wrong with enslaving men?" Nancy scoffed. 

"Um... Nancy? It's slavery, like SLAVERY slavery. No rights, bondage, forced labor, dehumanization?" 

"Like, the kind that was abolished in America?" 

"YES!" 

Nancy nervously blinked as she did a quick search on her phone. "Oh boy... Um, my apologies, viewers, I thought that was just a whole BDSM thing. Tausret II... That woman's insane." 

Next up was Team Argentina, who decided to do tricks with soccer balls, save for one member. 

"Isn't that Inez? If I recall correctly, she really hates soccer," Nancy noted as she glanced down at the one girl fumbling all the passes. 

"Hey, not everyone likes the national sport. Just sucks for her she's gotta play along for the ceremony. Girl's just humiliating herself," Danny frowned. 

"Ironically, she is the best player on the team, so maybe it wasn't wise of them to force her to do something she doesn't like."

Türkiye was next to enter, and was notable for a single standout member, who instead of wearing traditional wear like her compatriots, was rocking a freshly shaved and oiled head in a white bathrobe and sneakers.

"Muazzez... I can't believe she actually shaved her head," Nancy groaned.

"Her whole body looks shiny, or at least all the exposed skin. But why's she not dressed like the others and just kinda... doing her own thing?" Danny frowned.

The answer came as Muazzez held up a mic before singing and dancing in VERY erotic fashion, much to the disgust of some of her own teammates. The crowd was completely into though, as was Danny.

"STROKE THAT HEAD AND SHAKE THOSE TITS N' ASS!" a bald girl from the next team up shouted as her cheeks went flush red.

Silence consumed the stadium as Muazzez slowly turned back to face the girl. Smiling, she ushered her over with her finger, resuming the singing as she approached her. The girl slowly got into the groove and danced up to Muazzez, receiving a voracious French kiss the moment she reached her.

The act didn't seem to be perceived well by the Turkish team as one female member rushed over and slapped Muazzez hard across the face before dragging her away by the scruff of her robe. As for the bald girl, her female and male compatriots quickly stepped out and began performing Oi šermukšnio.

"Lithuania. Their men's side has some good talent, but I don't think either team is in title contention," Nancy noted.

"Maybe in the tournament, but the song they're playing is bopping," Danny grinned.

Once the Lithuanians had cleared the stage, everyone waited for the next team to enter, yet no one came.

"Huh, it says the next team is-"

Rumble!

Everyone darted their heads around in confusion as the ground began to shake, then, out of the entrance came an army of undead Mongols, all atop skeletal horses. Throat singing echoed throughout the stadium as the warriors sang In Praise of Genghis Khan.

Danny shook his head. "Mongolia, or more accurately, the New Empire of Mongolia. If there's any nation out there that's reaped the most land from winning DESPER battles, it's these guys. Their borders look closer and closer to how the Mongol Empire's looked back in the 1200s by the day. So many countries have lost some or all their land to them, heck, China even lost its western half to them, while Persia lost a good chunk of territory too."

"How? China and Persia got some top players."

"Mongolia's leader, Genghis Jad, the guy with the horse skull covering his face," Danny frowned as he pointed down at a man in Mongol armor with a horse skull covering his face. "His rating is 2804, but what made his attack on China so successful was that he attacked them first. China was caught off guard and wasn't able to field their top player to stand in for the president, who was just a normal guy, meaning they got walloped. At least China was smart enough not to ante up the whole country in the wager, but it still caused them to fall from their throne of economic power. Worse, it gave Jad a pathway for further conquest, as when up against nations that had the chess prowess to put up a fight, he instead opted for a strategy of going after the land bit by bit, avoiding the capitol cities and major population centers. This is how they got the jump on Persia as they went after the unguarded smaller cities rather than the big ones with formidable grandmasters. They seem to be in an alliance with Russia, and as a result, haven't attacked them, but they most certainly have gone for former Soviet states like Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, and Azerbaijan, but they've been able to hold their ground for now."

Once the Mongols had cleared the area, Russia entered.

"You wanna talk about tension, Russia and Ukraine nearly got in a huge war two years ago. But due to the power of the DESPER, Tsar Grigori was able to seize power from Russia's then president, and end the war the next day. Of course, it came at a heavy price to Ukraine as all its disputed territories fell under Russian control following the tsar's victory in the match. He spared the whole country from becoming a vassal state, but it's said he sends his son, Rasputin, out to slowly chip away at the lands, which has quickly become the meta for other Desperados hungry for territory."

"Rasputin?"

"Yeah, that huge guy walking with them with the creepy blue eyes. I hear he's not someone you want to mess with. I feel bad for Ian. He hates the tsar more than anyone, yet since he's Russia's maestro, he's gotta be on the team. Some of his SPCMs are also good folks, but sadly, they're ultimately at the tsar's mercy."

Tsar Grigori gleefully smirked and relished in the glares he was receiving. "Do try to smile, Ian. You're representing Mother Russia on the world stage," he sneered as he wrapped his arm around Ian Kimovich's shoulder.

"I'm not here of free will, in fact, I'm disgusted to be a part of this," Ian glared as he freed himself from Grigori's grasp.

"How so? I'm much better than my predecessor, yes?"

"And in many ways far worse," Ian glared as he directed his gaze up towards Raymond in the stands. "I'll never forgive you for allowing this. When this is over, I'll begin the procedure to change federations and nations," he thought as his teammates began dancing to Korobeiniki.

China was next, and performed acrobatics in traditional attire to the tune of I love Beijing Tienanmen, with the exception of Xiao Lin who furiously limped along.

"Ah, there's the maestro who apparently pissed off the WWCF president. No clue what she did, but I guess it got her kneecapped by him," Danny shrugged.

"Those are just rumors, but what isn't a rumor is Xiu Mei-mo's talent. She's the current Women's World Chess Champion, and a favorite to win an individual gold here," Nancy stated.

Then at long last, it was time for the final team to enter, hosts, Hungary.

Led by the nation's prime minister himself, Ákos Országh, the Hungarians danced to Nosza Hajdú with one of their members, an old man named, Nándor Nyisztor, blasting lightning out of his hands and shouting, "WIZARD!" over and over until he was dragged off stage.

With all teams present, the cauldron was then lit, signifying the start of the Chess Olympics.