Health hazard

"And $7," I nodded as Sumire paid for her services. "Surprised Nono didn't come with you today. What's she up to?"

"Did she not come in earlier?" Sumire asked.

"Nope. And today's my short day, so I won't be open when she normally likes to come in."

"Perhaps she's unaware. I could inform her, but I despise messaging with her."

"Why?"

Sumire made a hair flicking motion with her hand. "A queen need not translate the needless ramblings of a madwoman."

Says the one flicking her "hair" after it's been shaved off for weeks now!

"I thought you two were close."

"I'd describe our relationship as queen and palace invader, nay, perhaps queen and foreign emissary, with the precise title for her being that of court fool."

"I don't quite understand your haughty lingo. Could I get an example of her texts?"

"Your queen grants you permission to text with Nono."

"I meant show me your phone, I don't have her number."

Sumire nodded and held up her phone.

"Uh, what's this?" I glared.

"Nono's number. Now you have it and now you may text with her," Sumire confidently smiled.

"I meant show me the messages she sent you."

"... Must I?"

"Just do it so I get where you're coming from."

Sumire reluctantly held up her phone once more.

"'Hey Sum, Sum good? I like Sumi, but just the Sum be soundin' mighty fine so could I call you Sum?' ... Doesn't seem that bad."

Sumire blushed and averted her gaze away from me.

"Sum Sum," I called out.

"N- Never call me that... I swear, as queen of Tyrantia, that if you proceed to call me that from now on, I'll conquer your shave tomorrow and have you publicly shaved for uttering such blasphemy."

Normally, I'd press on with the teasing, but now I'm barely struggling to get her cheeks to go red during a shave. There is a chance she gets so ticked off by the teasing that she unlocks ultimate will power, then I'm bald all because I couldn't resist a little teasing. I hate that's it's gotten to this point, but I gotta start thinking rationally if I don't wanna lose my hair.

"Fine, fine. Sumire sounds better anyway."

Sumire smiled as she began tapping away on her phone. "Then I'll reject the nickname outright."

"Uh, OK?"

Once Sumire was gone, I was left on my own for a bit until a hurricane decided to hit.

"Ey, da Gooch is ready to goop a leg," Beckett grinned.

"Blooarf!"

Oh great, he brought his undead dog, and it just... vomited.

"The dog stays outside," I glared.

"Ey, Becki's fam, sweetheart. Give er a goopin' too," Beckett grinned as he waddled over to a chair with his dog in his arms, stepping through the vomit puddle without a care.

Alright, fuck this, I'm calling the health department.

(;_;)(;_;)(;_;)

Ah, I feel like I'm being neglected. Sumi got two, TWO fucking dates with Mysti, but me? Nothing. Nothing throws me off more than neglect. That kiss... Why? Why was I so flustered!? That's the kind of shit I revel in, but seeing her kiss Sumi like that... Why? Why did it make me feel all trembly?

Maybe I just need some one-on-one to regain my mojo. Yeah, I usually go with Sumi, but if I go alone, I get her all to myself. I've done it a few times, but that was before I knew about the double date. Wonder how... it'll go...

Staring me right in the face was a notice on the door. "Closed! Due to a recent health inspection, this establishment has been shut down indefinitely."

... What the actual fuck?

I dialed up Sumire.

"You have called? Why doust-"

"Oi, Sumi, what's going on with the shop!? It says it's closed!"

"Oh, you need not worry. Today is Mysti's early day."

"'Early day'?" 

"Correct, she closes early today, so-"

"Then why the health notice?"

"'Health notice'? What are you speaking of?"

I took a picture of the notice and sent it to Sumi.

"Wha- WHAT IS THIS!? Who dares to shut down such an important establishment in my domain!?"

"Don't ask me. You have her number, right? Call her and ask."

"I showed her your number."

"And I don't know hers."

"Ah it's... Wait, she might not approve of me telling you. It would be most heinous, might even push her to upping the humiliation! I can't, I'm so close to winning, but if she introduces something new... I don't want to lose, I want to be her equal, not her sub-equal."

My lip slowly began to curl. "Sure are close... heh."

"But of course. She has bewitched me, and thus as queen, I wish to wed her."

"Yeah... Uh, gotta go..."

Blip!

Hearing all that, it's making me frustrated. Sumi sounds so happy. I wanna be that happy too.

"Huh? Nono?"

I spun around to find Mysti, with... wet hair?

"Uh..."

"Oh, the notice? Yeah, stuff happened. The place is gonna need to be cleaned until it can reopen. Sorry about all that," Mysti sighed as she began walking away.

"Hey! Wanna... get lunch?" I called out.

"It's past 3."

"A meal?"

"Ugh, not sure I can eat... Ugh, if you're offering, then fine. The 50s-styled diner down the block."

Score! Now I get my own date!

But I am wondering about that notice. What the hell happened here?

"So uh, what happened at the salon?"

"I'll tell you later."

"I wanna know!"

"Ugh, don't blame me if you get sick..."

(;_;)(;_;)(;_;)

"Blugh... That's just fucking disgusting," I gagged.

"I warned you, but you insisted I tell you, so no complaining," Mysti grumbled.

"Fuck, to think some cavebeard actually got a place shut down for being too disgusting. So uh, what'll happen to him?"

"Considering the health department hauled him and his mutt away, hopefully they get thrown in a confinement cube and blasted into a black hole. So still up for eating? Last thing I want is a reenactment of what that undead mutt did."

"Don't want a cute girl puking on ya?" I grinned.

"No. That's disgusting. Guess eating's off."

"SORRY, SORRY, SORRY! I won't hurl, promise, so can we still have the date?"

Mysti glared me down. "... Fine, but first sign of hurling and I'm out."

As we arrived at the restaurant and got settled in, I zeroed in on some condiment bottles on the table.

"So care to explain what's been going on with you?" Mysti asked.

"Ah, yeah..."

Guess I might as well go for it.

"So... can you shave me, right now?"