Dr. Markert

I hit enter and stare at my screen, ignoring the beep that can’t decide if it’s supposed to be a bird or a mouse as I wait for the barrage to begin again. It wasn’t long.

Dr. Markert hummed and sighed like an overworked heater as he read for about a minute before tapping his desk with a freshly-sharpened number 2 pencil.

“Rei?”

I look up, meeting his gaze briefly before looking at the bookcase behind him. Dr. Markert noticed immediately. “Rei, you know better than that. We made a deal, young lady. ‘Manners above all.’ You’re going to be sixteen soon. You need to learn how to interact with people.”

I stare back at him, not because of the guilt I knew he was trying to make me feel. But because I was too tired to do anything else. I quickly typed. -I had the nightmare again. The one where the shadows come alive and try to drown me.-

His expression changed immediately. Dr. Markert wasn’t angry with me; he just didn’t want me to start developing bad habits like the ones I had before my parents met him.

These meetings were for my benefit. That’s why I kept coming. But that didn’t stop me from going completely still when he patted my shoulder. “I see. Thank you for sharing that, Rei. I thought you looked tired when you came in. Would you like a cup of tea?”

-My mom says I need to stop drinking caffeine. She thinks it’s one of the reasons I keep having bizarre dreams.-

“And she’s right to think that, but having a cup every now and then won’t hurt. All things are good in moderation.” Dr. Markert rose and opened the door behind me. “Sue? Would you be a dear, and bring some tea?”

Sue must have nodded, because she didn’t say anything as he shut the door and returned to his seat. I was still facing him, waiting for the next question.

Dr. Markert looked at his computer again, as if to see if I’d made any changes, before grinning at me. “Let’s talk about what happened on your eighth birthday now. I understand that was quite a shock.”

-A man broke into our house. My brother tried to set him on fire.- That part wasn’t a dream. It took weeks of professional cleaners to get the smell out of the house.

“Yes, that’s why I said it must have been a shock. And I’m sorry to ask you to relieve it, but…” He spread his hands and shrugged.

I shrugged back. -It’s fine. I’m fine. What do you want to know?

“Where were you when the man entered your house?”

-Living room. Doing homework.-

Dr. Markert scowled slightly, but I was already typing again.

-I was doing homework in the living room. My brother was in the kitchen making a snack, and my parents were out.-

“Tell me more about the man, Rei. Describe him for me.”

-He looked like a bush.-

Dr. Markert raised an eyebrow, silently asking me to continue. But I kept my hands folded in my lap. There was nothing new to tell.

As if sensing this, Dr. Markert changed the subject. “Let’s fast forward to your twelfth birthday.”

-We were taking a flight to Greece, and I got really sick. Everyone said it was because of the food.-

“Was it?”

-What else could it have been? I’ve flown before.-

“Can you describe your symptoms?”

-Fever and nausea. My ears wouldn’t stop ringing, and I kept passing out.-

“And how are you feeling now, Rei?”

-Fine.-

“Except for the dreams?”

I nodded. There was no point in lying to Dr. Markert. He knew me too well.

I tried to resist yawning, but his amused grin only further drove his point home. I wasn’t fine. The dreams were getting worse, and I didn’t know what to do about them.

And I doubted that Dr. Markert, with his salt-and-pepper beard and deep voice, knew either. But I still found myself sitting across from him once a week since we moved here.

I would sigh if I could, but that would have earned me another well-meaning lecture. A soft knock on the door announced Sue’s arrival as she carried two paper cups with steam rising from them. “Here you are. Sorry about the wait. Mr. Libas said he’d be late in picking up Rei.”

She smiled apologetically at me, but I kept my eyes trained on the cup she placed in front of me. Dr. Merkert shook his head and gave me another pat on the shoulder.

“That’s no problem, Sue. We all know what our Rei is going to do next.”

I took a sip to avoid typing. Sue wasn’t as used to me as Dr. Merkert pretended to be. Her smile became a frown as she looked at me. “You know you can always wait in the office, Rei. We just got in some new magazines. I’m sure you can find something of interest in them.”

The ‘tea’ tasted more like warm flavored water with the appearance of green food coloring. I placed the cup down and shook my head, still not reaching for my screen.

I knew she was just trying to be nice, and the atmosphere inside the office wasn’t that bad. The music was mostly from this decade, and most patients knew how to behave.

But it’s not where I want to spend time. Dr. Markert chuckled. “Don’t let her fool you, Sue. Our Rei is a smart girl. She knows what’s best…”

I rolled my eyes and tried to avoid staring at the clock. I’ve sat in the same seat five times. I’ve told the same things five times, except for some slight differences in pleasantries, and Sue bringing me something to drink.

Nothing has changed. And time keeps creeping forward at a snail's pace. Dr. Markert bade Sue goodbye with a wave and waited until the door shut before looking at me.

“So, you’re really not going to wait for your brother here?”

I shook my head.

“Would you mind telling me why?”

-I’d rather wait for him outside.-

“Is that his preference as well? Do your parents know you like to go to the park by yourself?”

-I’m not a child. I can walk around town just fine. The park isn’t even that far from here.-

Dr. Markert raised his hands soothingly, trying to keep the grandfather act going. “Now, Rei, that’s not fair. I never once implied that you couldn’t take care of yourself. I’m just worried about your safety. The world isn’t kind to those who make targets of themselves.”

I couldn’t hold back my disgust as I started typing. -Then that’s the world’s fault. Not mine. I didn’t ask to be born mute or to have weird dreams. And if you and my parents really wanted me to feel comfortable. You’d all learn sign language, and leave me alone when I’m just trying to take a walk!-

“But that would inconvenience everyone else, wouldn’t it? There aren’t any other people who… well, you know. And since you still needed to learn how to read and write. Your parents thought that the screen was the best solution.”

-They still do. When is someone going to ask me what I think, and actually care?-

“I ask you what you think all the time. And I know your parents do too. Is this because of’-

I didn’t want to hear anymore. I might do better next week. Or maybe I’d do worse just because I felt like it. I’d be turning sixteen on Saturday—a full five days from now.

And my parents had promised to tell me what we’re doing for my birthday later today. So, after finishing my tea. I crushed the cup and threw it into the trash.

I walked out of the room. Dr. Markert followed me to the doorway, but neither he nor Sue said anything as I went outside and squinted into a bright, sun-filled lot covered with concrete and countless layers of spray paint and chalk.

The only hints of green came from the graffiti at my feet until I reached the fence that never seemed to be closed, yet had barbed wire along the top.

I didn’t know if it was electrified when no one was inside. My sneakers slapped against the ground as dead leaves flew by on a breeze that pushed me toward my goal.

It made me smile. It wasn’t a hot day, but the breeze still felt good as I strode forward. There was no one else in sight, but that mattered little in a place that was crawling with cameras.

One can never be too careful, especially with the luck my family has had. The park existed as an island—the only place of green grass instead of concrete.

A lone table was placed beneath the lone tree, which would have been beautiful if it had been healthy. But now it just looked like a child’s drawing of a dying tree right before winter.

The leaves that had scuttled past me didn’t come from it. The branches were bare, skeletal things that couldn’t have been mistaken for anything else in the dead of night.

A pale sap seeped through the cracks in the bark, resembling cooked clay. And several roots pushed through the dirt like the tree wanted to run away.

I didn’t blame it. The tree was the only reason this place was called a park. I never saw anyone tend to it beyond checking the trash can a few feet away.

The tree’s fate was left to nature to decide, which only made me want to stay with it even more. Another smile tugged at my lips as I gently petted the trunk and sat down.

There was still no one else around as I tilted my face up and closed my eyes.

Shadows aren’t supposed to exist when there’s nothing to cast them. That’s what’s known as a void. But even with the tree at my back and the grass beneath me.

I could feel the shadows stretch into being and surround me. I kept my eyes closed and waited. Leaves rustled, twigs snapped, and three of them sat around me, keeping me in place as their eyes locked onto mine.

They didn’t seem to mind that I wasn’t looking at them. I knew what they looked like. I’ve seen them so many times, it would be strange if they looked different now.

But I still wasn’t ready when a hand that felt more like vines tangled together into thick knots covered mine. “Rei.”

I nodded and placed my other hand over the vines. My screen shifted on my lap, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t need it in the dream. More vines lightly encircling my shoulders and ankles joined.

They could have dragged me away. I was scared that they would when I first had this dream. But they were only touching. They didn’t have fingers, and I didn’t have vines, so this was the best we could do.

“Rei, how long can you stay here?”

I shrugged. There was no telling when Zack would arrive, and I didn’t want to think about him right now. I just wanted to relax.

The shadows pressed closer. One practically leaned on me now as it plucked my screen away and placed it near my feet. They knew why I had it and what would happen if it broke.

We couldn’t afford to let that happen again. “Rei, we need you to go to sleep early tonight. Can you do that?”

I wasn’t sure. Most parents wouldn’t mind their kids going to bed at around ten. But mine rarely let me fall asleep before midnight. It was one more bizarre detail that made up my life.

Luckily, I didn’t need to do much in my dreams. The vines around me tightened slightly, making me lean forward to hear them better-