VI — Sunset Beneath the Stormy Sky

...

Morning had gone like usual. 

Same habits, same activities. Same boredom.

Anna had just finished taking a bath, ready to face that perpetual, endless mundane.

Cleansing away the water with her towel, she then picked up her smartphone.

Ten minutes left.

Just to check what time it was, and that's it. Nothing else.

 She never got used to having an item for keeping up with time either.

No clock nor watch. Just a utility, multi-purpose item.

Eventually, she went for a quick breakfast. 

With an empty plate left, placed right beside her.

The one she noticed would always be there, no matter what.

And after that, still... nothing happened.

Instead, it went normally. Again, like usual.

Just her wearing that school uniform, picking up her backpack, then she was leaving.

"I'm leaving."

She said it, even though she knew it would be heard by no one but her.

She walked away, leaving the house after closing the door.

Locking the door. Somewhat a closing ceremony as a ritual before leaving.

A castle disguised as the nostalgic place, where emotional warmth lies.

...

She walked away from her house, slowly but surely taking steps ahead to school.

There was nothing emotional about the walk. In her mind, she just couldn't wait for that moment. Or the one where she would sit beneath a single blooming tree with low-hanging branches.

Her very own sanctuary. The place where she could spend her time like nothing passed by.

Her emotions were blooming beneath her indifferent, cold facade.

Building with every single passing second.

On her way to school, many students were chatting normally, naturally avoiding her presence.

Nope, rather as if she was unnoticed to begin with.

The atmosphere where she arrived at the gate was simply one out of that usual slice of life manga.

Some were laughing. Some others were talking to their friends, naturally forming a group.

And some were alone just like her, and there was nothing to say about it.

She arrived to the class, enduring the eternal boredom while waiting...

Waiting, and waiting.

And she was not even sure what she had to wait for as well.

The first lesson then started, and she was preparing materials like usual.

Then... hours and hours had gone by, as she ignored those static noises from the background.

Teachers explaining what she already studied, students talking during the break, or her trying to keep herself busy with exercises, or answering the teacher's questions.

Meanwhile, as she dared herself to look at where Riku Reita was well-seated, he simply followed them. Then, she was cautiously observing, started noticing his presence for the first time.

Despite having never done this before.

Many hours passed by, as if ignoring those students who were casually walking away from the school, leaving themselves their own joyful youth memory as an experience they could never forget.

Something that Anna never really resonated to as her own experience, to begin with.

And no, it's not like she didn't want to.

Rather, she found connecting with them as useless as pouring water into an empty vase.

All she did was instead walk carefully, sneaking around before reaching that very own sanctuary. 

A place where she perhaps could relive moments of lingering tension alone by herself.

After all, that place might not seem as much.

If others were Anna, they wouldn't see something as simple as an old, rusty bench beneath cherry blossoms as anything heartwarming. But for Anna, it really was more than that.

No, it was more like what exactly made Anna... Anna.

A little piece of sanctuary. 

Quartz of serenity left beneath the stormy sky.

The one made inside a heart of a fatalist.

At least better than that cold, lonely place.

She found this place herself by a sheer of coincidence, 

Then casually passing by before going back to school.

However, unable to face and relieve any of those boring moments, she simply sat there.

For the most parts, she would do absolutely nothing. 

Some other times, she would read some books, or just her notes from the lesson.

But for a few rare times, she would reflect on past moments, sometimes with a little chuckle.

And there she was, arriving at that place. She expected nothing but her moments there.

However... she realized something abnormal.

Something feels missing here...

Of course, she didn't understand the true nature of her own feelings.

And no one did. 

Yet it was as if she expected something to be there, or someone.

A moment. With a person. Together.

Never mind.

She just casually dropped her brown, briefcase-alike backpack, then took out a book.

Schoolgirl by Osamu Dazai. That lullaby she had never dared speak to anyone else.

Mornings are grey. Always the same. Absolutely empty.

To her, this phrase she had just muttered made enough sense.

But if she told this to anyone, would they get offended?

They definitely would.

But I didn’t know whether it was better or not…

to remain true to yourself always, even if they say bad things about you.

After all, they would never accept mornings that are grey...

Meaningless and hollow.

Mornings always associate themselves with a bright passion. A warm welcoming face.

A journey ahead. Or a school waited patiently for students to come and study.

But was it just merely an ideal disguising itself as something palatable if not joyful?

Oh, what was she thinking? People would naturally force their own happiness to others.

Even if it was unpleasant. Even if it was bitter. Even if it was nothing but emptiness.

Simply said, there were no happiness in it. Let alone joyfulness poured in it.

You wait and wait for happiness, and when finally you can't bear it any longer…

Sometimes happiness arrives one night too late.

However, instead of one night...

For her, maybe it was just a day too late instead.

Soon after those feelings were gone, she closed the book she read immediately.

And never looked back to it.