...And Became; The Girl I Saw That Day

Hiroshi’s POV

​[Present Day, August 13. 2023]

​They say tragedy refers to an extremely sad, somewhat dreadful, and sometimes fatal event or situation, often involving significant pain or loss of life. Basically, experiencing real-life suffering.

​Tragedy in media, however—be it movies, novels, comics, or webtoons—traditionally features a downfall from high status to misery, often caused by a fatal flaw (hamartia) or destiny, evoking pity and fear in the audience to achieve a purification of emotions known as catharsis. ​Maybe that's what I was feeling. Catharsis. Catharsis at its finest. 

I couldn't believe it, even though all the signs were right in front of me. Why would I believe it? I was happy, and when you're happy, you keep on wishing the joy would continue forever. You never want it to end, because that would mean going back… back to the miserable, fleeting life you once lived. As such, I still wanted to stay in denial.

​I pressed my head harder against the cemetery's pavement. “Chiyoko, please… don't leave me… you can't leave… you just can't… not until... you've said goodbye...”

​“That is both wonderful and painful to hear, Hiro-chan…”

​That warm voice, the manner of speech, that little nickname—it could only be one person. My eyes snapped open as I raised my head and stood up, still facing the grave. Chiyoko whispered, her tone poignant, while my head swiveled in her direction slowly, as if I were peering at her.

​“Hello there, are you lost…?” she said, her smile wavering.

​Our eyes met as I finally understood just why her eyes gave me a chill that was weirdly comforting before. But now, it was just what I needed, more than anything.

​The corners of my eyes reddened as they glazed, then brimmed, and finally, after holding back for several hours, both my eyes let the salty liquid track pathways down my contours.

​“My lady… is that really… you?”

​“Yes, my lord… it's me.”

​I studied her entire appearance as I deliberately changed pace. At first I limped, then walked, then ran. She was as pale as ever, like a corpse that had lost its soul, her ruby-red eyes shining with weary passion and longing. Even now, she was wearing that pink yukata.

​She stood there waiting for me as I tried to hug her, but in my desperate effort—I passed right through her. Immediately after this happened, my hands shook as I clenched them tightly, my teeth pressed together as my tears simply overflowed.

​“So it's really true… You are a ghost, no matter how much I want to deny it… it's the truth… isn't it?”

​She faced me, her eyes glassy. “Indeed, I am a ghost… I died 30 years ago…”

​I looked down at her feet, not yet able to look her in the eye as this might decrease my man factor, and yet seeing as I was weeping, it might have already decreased. “Why didn't you… tell me the truth?”

​“As you once told me, the truth hurts. That is why I couldn't bring myself to tell you…” Chiyoko gazed at me as a shadow hid my face. “I was afraid… afraid that if I told you the truth, you would fear me or despise me. I couldn't bear to take the risk… because I… I love you so very much, Hiro-chan… the thought of losing you, it… it terrified me.”

​She held her yukata tightly over her heart. “I was being selfish… I only thought of myself and didn't think about your feelings… and I'm sorry… I really am… I never meant to cause you any harm. But I ended up doing exactly that… I'm a failure… I don't deserve anything… I ruin lives just by existing…”

​“... Don't you remember what I told you before, you dummy? Never tell yourself you don't deserve something… you're a person too and your life matters… at least, it does to me anyway." I wiped my tears with my hands, trying my best to stay strong. "There's no need to be sorry, I kinda understand where you're coming from. I was selfish, too, since I only offered to help you in hopes that we might end up being more than friends. In a way, I guess we're both selfish.”

​Chiyoko's tears strayed as she got closer to me. She placed her forehead on my chest. “That easily?”

​“Were you expecting me to be melodramatic?”

​“Well… yes. I expected you to be angry or scared or disgusted…”

​“I couldn't get angry at you. Even though my brain was telling me to, my heart wouldn't allow it. You had your reasons for everything you did. I'm not saying all the choices you made were right, but they were all coming from the heart, right?”

​“Mhm.”

​“Then I won't be angry at you for doing what you thought was right. Your partner in crime once told me that the heart should be in everything you do. Yet that same heart sometimes leads us to do some really crazy things, but almost 90% of the time, it's coming from the right place. That stuck with me. And it's the reason that I chose to look at things from your point of view. You've been alone all this time, without anyone by your side… I know what it's like to be isolated… because I've been there. That is, until I met you.”

​I hugged her as I murmured with a melancholic tone:

​“I'm not gonna lie… when I first saw the tombstone, I felt angry that you lied to me… but when I thought about your side of the story, well… I decided to forgive you… because I'm hopelessly in love with you, Chiyoko Watanabe…”

​“I'm sorry…”

​“I forgive you…”

​“... I'm sorry…”

​“I still forgive you…” I said, a sad, yet happy smile curving my lips. “And I'll keep on forgiving you until you finally forgive yourself.”

​“I don't know what to say.”

​“You can start by telling me how you died. And everything that followed after that.”

​“Do I have to?” she questioned with a whiny look on her face.

​“Are you kidding me? Of course you have to. In case you haven't noticed, I have blood on my face. I need an explanation now.”

​“Okay, okay, I'm sorry.”

​“You're forgiven. Now please explain. First, why did you and Miyu knock me out and mess with my memories?”

​“I wanted you to forget me because I only had a few days left… until it was time for me to ascend. Today is my last day on earth. When the afternoon begins, I'll disappear. I wanted to spare you the pain of my departure, but I failed. Simply because I underestimated your feelings for me.”

​So this means Miyu already knew she was a ghost.

​“Now tell me the rest.”

​Chiyoko told me everything that happened to her—all the pain, suffering, and loneliness she went through. She told me about the two girls I saw in my dream.

​Apparently, they are both goddesses, and their names are Kitsune and Dalmatrix. This part really intrigued me and kind of terrified me at the same time. Since I had been told everything, I no longer needed to be in denial.

​I needed to stay in reality because this was supposedly the last time I'd get to see her. Deep down, I wanted to cry. God, I wanted to cry, but I couldn't because I had to be strong—strong for her.

​So that we'd be able to enjoy our last moment together. Without any more sadness clouding our young hearts. We'd been through enough. And it was time for us to feel joy, one last time.

​“So deities really do exist. I guess I was right, and so were you.”

​“I already knew, remember?”

​“Right, you were playing dumb before…” A short silence passed as we stayed in that same position, embracing each other passionately. “So all this time, I was the soulmate you were waiting for?”

​“Yes. You are the destined partner whom I've been waiting for… for three decades. And I would wait even longer if it meant I'd get to be with you. When I ascend, we will be apart for a long time. But even so, Hiroshi, I beg you—please don't ever forget me.”

​“I won't. I promise you on my family name, I won't forget you. I'll find a way for us to see each other again. I don't care what it takes. I'll even force my way to the heavens if I have to… so wait for me, I promise I won't take long.”

​“Okay, I'll wait. I've been waiting for 30 years after all; what's 20 more?" She sniffed cutely. "Hiroshi, can I be selfish one last time?”

​“How so?”

​Chiyoko lifted her hands to my face as she held my cheeks softly with her cool, soft hands that held a strange warmth I couldn't explain. If I had to guess, it was the warmth of her love and her ability.

​The warmth erased the blood on my face as the wound on my forehead healed instantaneously. My entire body felt lighter as the warmth spread throughout my entire body. I was being healed by her power, but at what cost?

​Her body slowly became see-through as the physicality of her palms began to disappear. The cost was her time in this world. She was giving it all to me.

​“Chiyoko, what are you—?”

​“I'm sharing my life force with you. It's my way of atoning for the great pain I caused you.”

​“I already told you, there's no reason for you to—”

​“There is a reason. Lady Kitsune once told me that you can't gain something without losing another. In this case, I gained your forgiveness, your love, and your kindness. So in return, I give you all of me…”

​“But this will kill you, dammit!”

​“Hiroshi, you forget, I'm already dead.” She smiled weakly as dark circles appeared under her eyes. Her skin became even paler than before.

​“You know what I meant!”

​“I'm only giving up my time.”

​My wounds, stress, pain—all of it disappeared as she poured almost all of her life energy into me. She only left enough energy to keep her in this world for a few more minutes. Just then, she faltered, her smile still there, trying its best to reassure me.

​Just then, she reached in as her face got so unbelievably close. It seemed like she was going to do that. She closed her eyes as she pulled me in with her fading hands. Our lips connected tenderly.

​She held my upper lip while I held her lower. Her warmth, her feelings, her desire, her pain, her longing, her love. I felt it all in one passionate kiss as her tears came back again—this time, they turned into sparkling glitter.

​The taste of her lips was like grapes, or even apricots. It was sweet, so sweet that I wanted it to last forever, but it was also bittersweet. Not because of her or me, but because of the situation. This was our first and possibly our last kiss. No matter how amazing it was, it still tasted bittersweet to me.

​Because of this fact, my own single tear streamed freely. We both let go of each other's lips simultaneously as we inhaled softly. We then rested our foreheads together.

​“How was that?”

​“How am I supposed to answer that question? It was amazing, alright. I wish it wouldn't end, but things don't work like that. So yeah, it is what it is.”

​My tears just wouldn't go away, and neither did hers. Just then, I saw Mom heading straight towards us, looking as exhausted as ever. She stopped right in front of us with Miyu sleeping on her back. We let go of each other as Mom's eyes widened in stunned silence.

​“Onee-chan… it's really you.”

​“Naoki-chan, you are so grown up. I'm so happy to see you again.”

​Mom sat Miyu down as she turned to Chiyoko. Without warning, she gave her a hug. “It's been so long. I've… I've missed you so much.” Mom's eyes shone as they seemed to appear wet, reddening a bit.

​“Forgive me, little sister. I forgot you in the past decades. I—”

​“It doesn't matter. I'm just glad you are here. I'm glad you chose my son, because there's no one who'd be more suitable than the woman I looked up to in the early years of my childhood. Thank you, Onee-chan. For being in my life. Because even though it was brief, those memories we shared are more precious to me than anything—well, aside from my children, of course.”

​“You're still my little Naoki after all these years. I'm so glad. And thank you, Naoki-chan, for everything.”

​Chiyoko used her remaining energy to heal Mom, too. Then she let go of her as she placed her hand on Miyu's forehead, healing her too. Then she bowed to Mom. “Sayonara, little sister… take good care of yourself… okay?”

​“I will… I will… I promise you... Onee-chan…” Mom broke down as she placed her hands on her face.

​“Please listen to these words: You and I are siblings through and through, I promise that I'll love you… forever...” Chiyoko affirmed, her legs glittering away.

She floated to me as she wrapped her arms around my neck as our foreheads touched yet again. This time, I could actually feel her slipping away, quite literally.

​“This is goodbye, my lord…”

​“No… it’s… see you soon... my lady…”

​I held her desperately as the memories came in like a flood. My lips curled up simultaneously with hers. “For the millionth time… I love you, Chiyoko.”

​“And for the billionth time… I love you, Hiroshi.”

​She completely turned into beautiful glitter as she vanished just like that. I simply stood there, processing everything. Mom came up to me and pulled me in tightly. Finally, I wailed without so much as holding back. Mom tightened her grip as she finally let her own tears and sniffles be seen and heard.

​Even though Miyu was supposed to be asleep, her eyes watered alongside ours as if she were aware of what was happening. And as it turns out, she was. She simply acted like she was asleep—when Mom placed her down the minute they got here, she woke up, but decided to act. 

We all cried together… as a family.

​Chiyoko was on her way to the other world while I stood in this world, sad but glad that she finally found peace. We both mused, our words coming from deep within our hearts:

​Chiyoko Dilara Watanabe,

​Hiroshi Sato,

​May we meet again in the near future.