Everyday Life

The Kitchen Sponge squeaked against the porcelain, a harsh, rhythmic sound that filled my small apartment. I scrubbed the same spot on the dinner plate for the tenth time, even though the grease had vanished minutes ago

-Work hard enough and you'll find it-

That was a lie I told myself every morning. My name is Mitsura Sato. My parent's gave me a name that meant " to be full " or " to find " yet they was the ones who left me with a hollow chest at 8 years old. They walked out, and in the silence of that empty house, I learned a bitter truth love is a ghost that disappears when you try and touch it.

But I was stubborn. if love wouldn't come to me, I would earn it. I would be the hardest worker, the most diligent student, the most invisablle -- yet reliable - person in the room. I thought if I Polished my life until it shown " missing piece " would appear.

I rinsed the plate and set it perfectly in the drying rack. My hands were red from the hot water, but I didn't mind. pain was just another form of feedback.

I checked the clock. 7:45 AM.

Time to head to campus. Time to step into the world where people laughed, held hand's and navigated the invisable threads of connection that I could never seem to see. To everyone else, I was just the quiet guy in the back row the tidy notes and the awkward stutter.

They didn't know I was a scavenger, hunting though every crowded hallway for a single soul who wouldn't disappear when the lights go out.

I grabbed my bag, checked the lock on my door three times -- old habits die hard -- and stepped into the morning air. it was a beautiful day.

I hated it.

Beautiful days always made the emptiness fell a little more crowded.

I wear a jacket to hide my insecurity so way no one sees my flaws, jackets make me feel- comforted like getting a hug - I like wearing jackets on beautiful days.

I may think I have it all but I don't thats the hard truth always checking if what I did was  right, if I set my alarm, always overthinking, over guessing my life.

I hate myself but I can't give up that's not who I am.

sometime's I wanna give up but something inside stops me.