Bao

I didn’t know if I should feel surprised or not. The chair still felt like the chair I’ve sat in several times since we moved here. Except now it feels like it's been woven from vines.

My screen was, my only source of light. But then, I found myself wondering if I really needed it. I didn’t need lights when I used my roots, and I could still feel them growing beneath me… along with the other one.

The one I could only assume was the one I’d been taken from. I didn’t know how to feel about anything anymore, and since Dr. Markert hadn’t said anything since the lights went off, I doubted he ever would again.

Maybe that was a good thing. I stood up, wincing as the sudden shift forced several young trendals to cry out in pain. They hadn’t expected me to move.

But I wasn’t going to sit here and wait to be rescued like a damsel in distress. I had to find Bao. It had been his voice I heard a moment ago, but I didn’t see him anywhere.

Just more vines crawling along the floor and surrounding Dr. Markert’s desk. The large wooden structure wouldn’t be a desk for long. The vines would see to that.

The hallway was deserted, making me feel relieved and surprised that I could feel relief. I didn’t want to find Zack’s body and feel nothing. I didn’t want to feel nothing at all.

I didn’t feel like a plant as I kept walking down the once-familiar route I could have taken in my sleep. I still felt like me. A girl trained to cling to a screen because this was the easiest solution for everyone.

“Everyone here adores you, Rei.”

I shook my head in a lame attempt to drown out Dr. Markert’s last words. And, one way or another, I was determined that those would be the last words I’d hear him say ever again.

I didn’t feel adored. I had been happy living with my family and would have continued to be happy if the not-dreams and plants hadn’t kept interfering.

But I couldn’t blame them for that. They were just trying to survive, and by the time I reached the tree. And Bao. There was only one thing I wanted to know.

My fingers moved without thinking as I stared up at the poor thing and the life it represented.

-Why didn’t you kill me when you had the chance?-

The tree, Bao, I could see him now, legs merged with the trunk as he tilted his weary limbs against an unfelt wind.

“Because killing you is also what they want. You’re the source of our magic, Rei. We’re still confused about how they were able to extract you, but killing you means everyone loses. Do you believe me?”

-I’m not sure. It hurts knowing that they were spying on me my entire life. But you said I shouldn’t have existed in the first place. What am I supposed to do? What happens if I just run away?-

“You already know the answer to that.”

I did, but I wasn’t ready to accept it yet. -Shouldn’t I have felt something? Magic always makes some kind of impact on the one using it, and if I’m a tree, then shouldn't I feel more connected to what’s going on? I’m not doing anything, but I can feel the roots moving. How does that make any sense?-

“It sounds like you’re fishing for excuses that no longer apply to you.”

I flinched, but couldn’t deny it. I’ve been doing things like this since I was a child, or a baby, according to Zack.

-Is my family safe?-

A branch slowly stretched toward me until it could lightly tap my arm. “Yes, Rei. The ones you love are safe. We haven’t harmed anyone, even the two who started this have been spared as a gift for you.”

-What do you want me to do?- If my death meant nothing, and I didn’t see how combing my roots with Bao, or the one below, would change anything.

I have power, but no idea how to use it. My time beneath the library didn’t seem useful compared to this.

Bao understood. “Your nature has allowed you to take into your body that which was always meant to exist inside it. Think of it like a glue. It wants to bring you home. Will you let it?”

-Are you saying I have a choice?-

“For now.”

A sudden wind, wicked and sharp, nearly knocked me over and snapped several of Bao’s branches off.

He didn’t scream. He was already close to death. Pain meant nothing. But he was still trying to hold on. I didn’t know if I’d ever heard of anything that brave.

-Give me a straight answer. How do I heal you?-

“You’ll need to come home, Rei. If that’s what you wish. The only thing we can do is keep trying until the end. You’re the only one who can choose. It’s your right.”

-What happens after I choose? What happens to me?-

“Again, you already know. We’re not trying to scare you, Rei. I know you’ve gotten used to this life, and I’m sorry to place this burden on you. But the choice will always be yours.”

Until the end, I hugged myself, nearly breaking my screen as I shook my head. Bao sent more branches around me, shielding me from another gust of wind that seemed determined to rip him to shreds.

I didn’t want to move. My roots and the one beneath us understood. I knew what both sides wanted to happen. There was no third option. None that I could see.

None where I could go on living a normal life. I hated it. Bao’s branches were still shielding me, and I knew he’d stay like that regardless of what I chose.

I could try to find my family and flee, or go by myself. But I couldn’t see myself doing that. And Bao knew that too. It wasn’t fair.

-Where am I supposed to go? I don’t even know if the gate is unlocked.-

“You don’t need to go through the gate.” Bao sounded tired and relieved. I wished I could share those feelings. But I didn’t have long to dwell on it as the ground split open like a zipper amongst Bao’s roots, revealing a tunnel that would put the cave I’d entered as a child to shame.

It yawned widely, revealing only darkness and well-packed earth. Stones formed natural steps, but I could tell I’d need my hands to climb, which meant leaving my screen behind.

My main source of communication. I hugged it close and shook my head.

Bao’s branches tightened around me in a hug. “You won’t need that where you’re going. Our roots will convey everything. I’ll leave the entrance open so you won’t get scared. But you need to hurry, Rei.”

-Everyone will come looking for me.- I wasn’t sure about Zack. He’d left me there without a second glance. But I wanted him to search for me, to try to make things work for our family’s sake.

And Bao didn’t disagree. “They’ll search, but if they find you. You’ll only be placed under their cameras again. They’ll let you live until they think of a new experiment. And there’s no telling how far they’re willing to go.”

-My family would protect me.-

“Did they ever?”

I had no response to that. Another gust of wind whipped my hair around as it tried to chill me to the bone.

I’d freeze if I didn’t get inside soon. Bao’s branches moved closer still, interlacing together to form a screen behind me. I could still duck down and run.

There was just enough room for me to get away. And Bao did say the choice was mine. But once I started moving, I headed towards the tunnel.

My screen slipped almost unnoticed to the ground. I had no idea why I was doing this—not really. Everything I thought I knew was a lie. And even if I chose my family, nothing would be the same again.

And the world would suffer for it. A traitorous thought caused me to pause at the mouth of the tunnel. ‘Why do I have to suffer when I didn’t do anything wrong?’

I was tempted to grab my screen and make a proper demand, but Bao, our roots, and the one below us had already heard.

“You won’t suffer. You’re going home. Your true home. There’ll be no pain where you're going.”

It was almost enough to make me smile. Almost. But I had one more question.

‘Why was I born mute?’

“Because all magic comes with a price. I’m sure they didn’t mean to, but the ones who took you from us are after the magic that keeps us—and the world—alive. They didn’t have enough to sever you cleanly, so a part of you was left behind.”

‘Will I get it back?’

“You wish to speak?”

‘I want to know what I sound like.’ It felt foolish as soon as I thought about it, but I didn’t care.

The world would die if I didn’t go back. Maybe not right away, but it would eventually. So hearing my own voice for once felt like a small thing to ask for.

Bao didn’t disagree. Our roots didn’t disagree. The one beneath us also didn’t disagree. But I still had to climb down.

“Don’t be afraid. You’ll be able to see just fine. I’ll help you, Rei. My roots will make sure you don’t fall.”

I nodded, took a deep breath, knowing that I wouldn’t be breathing fresh air again, and began climbing. Bao was true to his word. The ground didn’t seal up the moment I was too far down to jump back out.

And my eyes quickly adjusted to the dimming light until the earth may as well have covered me. The roots guided my hands and feet to safety. It would have been impossible for me to climb down while still holding my screen.

The indents were just the right size for my hands and feet, but they weren’t deep enough to get me to stay still for long. I didn’t think Bao would drop me, but if I were in his position, I’d be doing everything I could to stay alive, which was odd to think about since I’m sure I was marching to my death.

And this would somehow help the world’s magic continue to exist. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking, ‘What happens if they try again? They’ve had me for almost sixteen years. Surely they’ve found a way to get me back.’

Or make a new one. I shuddered, nearly choking on a sob as some of the roots gently patted my shoulders. The voice that answered wasn’t Bao’s, but it was familiar.

“We’ve also had time to prepare. Fear not, Rei. They’ll never separate us again, or cause another child to suffer like they did with you.”

I wanted to argue. I hadn’t been suffering. I was confused and sometimes angry, but I definitely wasn’t suffering. But the voice didn’t try to correct me. I had to focus on climbing.

And they were getting what they wanted. I wasn’t sure if I was. I wanted to live. I wanted to be with my family. And yet—I was at last.