Chapter 11:

Forgotten bribe

I Won't Kill Myself for the Second Time


“Spare me. I can’t, really can’t eat anymore....”

“No. There are four more slices left.”

“Let’s at least ignore the tea. Those two tables that the service got here, what do you see on them?”

“Sea… a sea of tea, but no! Don’t give up!”

“And it’s already cold!”

“Please don’t worry milord, we will immediately prepare a new batch to replace it.”

Said one of the butlers standing among the onlookers.

“”PLEASE DON’T!””

We stopped the over-zealous service from bringing us more shame.

“We got this far already. They are even willing to offer us a discount if we conquer everything. We can’t give up!”

“Vio, come on. This is a fight we cannot win…”

“When did you become so weak-willed, brother? Amato won’t run from a challenge! We’re fighting to save your wallet.”

Her motivational speech got us a round of applause, a third one.

Looks like she's having fun.

At first, I had an overwhelming advantage, but Vio had quickly turned the tables on me. ‘Did you forget why we came here in the first place?’ she had said. This one sentence had blown up all my defenses like a Panzerfaust.

To gain her forgiveness and proceed according to my plan, I couldn’t remain in spectator mode.

“There are only twenty-three cups of tea and four slices of cake left. Please take care of at least half of them before I am back brother.”

“Again?”

“I’m smaller than you, it can’t be helped.”

“But you went like five minutes ago.”

“Are you really counting the number of times your little sister went to the toilet? That’s gross.”

“Yes, I’m counting it. They gave us only three toilet breaks per person and you’ve already used yours. Whatever, go if you want to lose.”

“Ugh…”

“So, let’s give up?”

“No.”

When the service had started to bring plates and cups one after the other, the attention of the whole café had been gathered on us. Café staff had used this chance to turn the entire situation into a promotional event. By the time that even the grey-haired waiter had offered us a discount proposal, we had been surrounded by tens of curious onlookers.

“Brother, something’s wrong…”

“What do you mean?”

“I can only see seventeen plates. Didn’t you say that there are twenty different positions on the list?”

Hearing her question one of the maids making bets on the side hurried to explain.

“Please don’t worry milady, the last three cakes are already being baked.”

“Cakes?”

“Yes milord. The last three on the list, the most expensive ones, are whole cakes.”

“D-don’t c-cry brother. W-we c-can do i-it!”

“I’m not crying Vio. I’m just removing liquid sugar to make room for some more.”

“”...””

Vio cut off a piece of one of the angel cake slices and tried to force herself to eat it. She was about to bite when her gag reflex kicked in. Seeing her fighting against it I grabbed her arm and forced it down.

“We give up.”

“Milord is that your final decision?”

“Y-”

“Brother!”

One sharp word stopped me before I could agree. There was a hint of threat and disbelief in it. Vio looked at me with her emerald eyes, the will to fight was still burning deep within them.

“Yes, we surrender.”

I remained adamant in my decision. Vio lowered her head unhappy.

“Everyone please a round of applause for our brave challengers.”

The fourth round of applause, the biggest one. I wish they would stop already.

The grey-haired waiter took control of the situation and organized the aftermath. Some maids and butlers were dispersing the gathered people to their own tables, others were taking empty plates and cups.

“Milord shall we prepare the remaining orders for a take out?”

“No need. You can do anything you want with them.”

“As you wish milord.”

After obtaining my consent they took all that was left and removed the extra tables. When everything was cleaned there were only three people left - us at the table and the grey-haired butler standing nearby.

“Milord, please refrain from other activities like this in the future. If required I can provide milord with a list of establishments that are better at organizing such events. I’m convinced that they will be a reasonable alternative to our humble place. Please forgive me for my insolence, but as the milady looks tired I will bring the bill immediately.”

In other words, he was politely telling us to get lost and not to come here again.

I paid and led Vio outside. She kept her head down and stayed silent. At this rate, it would be impossible to advance my plan.

“Aaaaah~ this was fun and I can barely move. My belly turned into a cake storage.”

I was smiling at Vio while patting my stomach.

“Brother?”

She looks surprised, let’s try taking it a bit further.

“Why the gloomy look? Don’t worry about that old guy words, people with a stick in their arse tend to be irritable. As if this is the only café in the city. The challenge itself was impossible, they wanted to kill us with those last three cakes.”

I tried to tousle her hair lightly.

“Please stop.”

She rejected my hand and moved two steps away. There were no signs of improvements in her mood.

Damn it, I suck at this. It looks so easy in anime.

“Brother, let’s go to your place.”

“Alright.”




During the entire way to my flat, she didn’t say a word. I was thinking hard about how to start a conversation, but there were no openings in the thunderclouds surrounding her. The strangest part was that she looked more angry than sad. Was my attempt to improve her mood really that bad?

Back in my living room, we sat at the table, which I should probably rename to the confession table. This was at least the fourth time that an important conversation was going to take place here.

Where exactly did it go wrong? We were having fun at one moment and the next she starts producing A.T. Field. How am I going to say anything now.

“Brother you’ve changed.”

Vio took the initiative after a period of silence. She stopped looking at her feet and switched to a perfectly straight sitting position with her hands on the knees as if she was preparing for an official meeting. I followed her example and corrected my posture.

“Brother, please tell me what’s happening to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You cleaned your flat.”

“It was high time to do that, bathroom was close to declaring independence."

“You changed your image.”

“I just wore a clean set of clothes and combed my hair.”

“Just? Strangers on the streets are glancing at you as if you were a famous star, this change can’t be described as ‘just’.”

“Hmm? Were my improvements that effective? So that’s the reason behind all those looks.”
“You started joking and even… listened to my request.”

There was a small pause in her voice and for a second a smile had appeared on her face, but it was quickly erased.

“Vio listen I-”

“Let me finish first please. I’m really happy about those changes, but how could you change so much in such a short time?”

“Well, I-”

“I’m still talking. I know it was my fault that we got in today’s situation, but how could I predict that my miser of a brother won’t even squeak when I tried to spend all his money?”

“It was a necessary expense a-”

“Still talking! Touching your money isn’t that one of the worst things one can do to you?!”

“I don’t really care, becaus-”

“Stop bullshitting me!”

“I’m not, liste-”

“You would never agree to this! What’s worse you even accepted our defeat like a loser! You were a scum! A trash! An idiot! A miser! A worthless placeholder! But you never NEVER were a loser!”

“That’s bec-”

“The brother I know would vomit on the spot to make more space in his stomach and force me to do the same just so he could win!”

“I’m not yo-”

“And the worst of all, did you lie to me?! Just what the hell is happening with you?!”

“FOR GOD’S SAKE I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU SO SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT!”

There was silence. During our exchange, we both stood up without even noticing. Vio was breathing heavily with tears streaming down her cheeks, shocked by the sheer volume of my shout and she… started smiling.

Once again I allowed my anger to take control, but the feeling of remorse lasted only for a second. I couldn’t understand her reaction. Why was she smiling through the tears after I screamed at her?

“Finally.”

She said this one word, wiped out her tears with hands and sat down. I started to suspect that she was faking it, but her red eyes and the continued sniffling claimed otherwise.

“Vio listen, I’m sor-”

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“Please don’t apologize. I don’t want to hear it. Just explain.”

“Alright. It may sound stupid and you probably won’t believe me, but I’m not your brother. The body’s the same but the souls have changed.”

“Huh?”

Now that’s a reaction I can understand.

“I don’t have any way to prove it, but believe me it’s true.”

“Wait, wait, wait… let me think.”

“Think?”

I would love to know how this girl’s head works like. Shouldn’t she be more shocked and deny my words?

“From when?”

“When what?”

“From when you’re in my brother's body, you dimwit.”

“I know what you meant, I just didn’t expect it.”

“Just answer.”

“From Friday's morning.”

“That would explain it…”

“You believe me?”

“No, but… otherwise, it doesn’t make sense. People don’t change that much in a day or two, not my brother.”

With an elbow on the table, supporting her head, she was deep in thought. Vio even closed her eyes, which gave her an ethereal look that could be disturbed by the smallest of my gestures.
This was going in the exact opposite direction to my plan. In Victor memories, she was easier to understand. Was I making a fundamental mistake somewhere?

That’s it!

I was looking at everything through the prism of my assumptions, without even taking other factors into consideration. In Aura’s situation I had a more open mind, which helped me to grasp most of the feelings behind her tears, but here I was like a toddler with a square block, who tried to fit it into a triangle hole. Of course it wouldn’t match.

From Vio’s perspective her brother was a person who never paid her any attention, never lied to her and never gave up. On the other side, there was me, who tried to make her laugh, paid attention to her whims, occasionally said a white lie and surrendered easily. Everything was clearly highlighted by her words.

Earlier, was she trying to provoke me to turn back into the brother she knows?

I still couldn’t find the most important part, the true essence of her feelings, but I felt that now I at least could understand the surface of it.

“What about my b-brother? What happened to him.”

“His soul is gone. I’m afraid that it won’t ever be back.”

“I see. So he’s gone from this Friday?”

Is that a relief? Is she happy that her brother’s gone? Why is she so particular about the date?

No that’s not it.

“Yes. When we met at that time it was already me in his body.”

“I see, that’s good. Very good.”

“Good?”

It was hard to peek under her calm expression. However, I was suspecting that opposite feelings were mixing inside her, ready to blow up and Violet’s superficial tranquility was just a passing illusion.

“Did you expect me to cry and scream?”

“You just did.”

I answered on reflex, even though now I knew that the reason behind it was different.

“Every word you say convinces me that there’s really a different mind inside my brother’s body. You don’t understand anything.”

Tears started forming in the corners of her emerald eyes. She was close to her breaking point and just stayed calm through sheer willpower.

“I hope that at least some of your doubts and bewilderment are gone.”

“Were you… worried about me?”

“I just didn’t want to ruin Victor’s record of never lying to you.”

“How do you even know about that?”

I pointed at my head.

“Body’s the same and he left his memories inside. Still, I guess this is a goodbye.”

“Huh? Why?”

“What do you mean why? I’m not your brother, right? You don’t have to care or worry about me anymore, I can buy my own food as well.”

We looked at each other and I was sure that this confused look on her face was a close relative of the one I had.

“Wait, did you thought that after telling me this I would run out from here, never to see you again?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

Did I again make a mistake due to my own assumptions?

She sighed deeply and started massaging her temples.

“Are you stupid? Oh, my bad, you already proved that one.”

“It’s good that you’re feeling better.”

“Hah! Don’t compare me to yourself, I’m not that weak.”

She hit her chest to prove the point...

“Wipe out all the tears first before saying that.”

… and hurriedly moved to clean her face with the hem of her dress.

“Hey! Don’t do that, you’re a girl after all. Aren’t you ashamed?”

I turned my head to the side to avoid looking at her underwear that matched the dark blue dress.

“A-ashamed of what? You’re my brother after all.”

In opposition to own words, she immediately corrected the clothes and a shade of red appeared on her cheeks.

“I already told you, I’m not. Well, I guess believing in it from the start was asking for too much.”

“And that’s why you’re an idiot. Define for me the meaning of word 'siblings'.”

“Two or more people with the same parents?”

“In other words, it’s all about the blood in your veins and whose body is in your possession now?”

“That can’t be that easy? Can it? Just because we share the same blood? But it’s not exactly my blood and those aren’t my parents. We didn’t even know each other few days ago!”

“Do you know your siblings before they are born? I will just have to treat you as my new brother.”

“But what about your feeling? Are you really willing to accept a new person in your brother’s body? Won’t this face remind you of him every time you see it?”

“So you’re not a total dimwit after all…”

She stopped in the middle of her sentence. The situation was changing faster than the prices of oil. Was it really alright to allow it to follow this route?

“...but you don’t understand me.”

“Trust me I would love to.”

Vio gave me a gentle smile, one that could melt an iceberg.

“You’re nothing like Victor, Vincent or Viktoria. They would never worry about something small and stupid like understanding me.”

I didn’t say anything and just listened to her attentively.

“Did you know that when we were in the café earlier that was probably the most fun I ever had with a family member? Screw that old waiter, let’s go there again and make him go bald from stress. I will think of a proper plot this time. Yeah, you’re stupid and in comparison to Victor you lie and aren’t strong. My brother wasn’t such a loser, but you’re also funny and talking with you…”

In the middle of her sentence, she stopped. The chaotic mixture of feelings and internal turmoil forced her to make a tactical retreat.

“Please continue.”

“Screw you! Look, I can curse as much as I want and you won’t even bat an eye! You should know from my brother’s memories what happened when I did that at home. Fuck! Fucking fuck!”

Fuck and screw were probably the most severe words in this girl’s vocabulary. In my opinion, it was better for her to stick to brain meltdown and useless piece of society as they did more damage to their targets.

“Fuck…”

I stood up and gently placed my hand on top of her blond head.

“Hey, tell me.”

“Yes?”

“This is my brother’s hand?”

“Techn- Yes.”

“But he would never do something like that and yet why does it feel so warm?”

Was the bond between them one of kindness and care? No. Violet only one-sidedly observed Victor from afar, maybe he was her symbol of independence from their family and symbols tended to be cold and heartless.

“Aren’t we connected by blood? I’m your new brother.”

“So that’s it.”

She moved her head a little and I started stroking it, which was probably what she had wanted.

Can I really follow this route?

“Why… Victor whyyyyy.”

It was finally starting, a first serious crack in her outer layer of self-control. Each time I gently moved my hand it got bigger and deeper.

“Broootheeer!”

The dam in her heart burst. This time I didn’t hesitate and pulled her small body up to hug with all my might. She didn’t resist and clung tightly to my chest while bawling her eyes out.

Now I did it, I really did. I seriously made a mess out of this girl's heart. 

This Novel Contains Mature Content

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Saint._.Bernard
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