MYSTERY II: Together forever?

They don't love me.

Every soul has their own horror. Every child has their own nightmare and every human has their own truth they want to run away from. This was Kaito's horror, his nightmare and the truth he wanted to run away from. A happy child is a dream of every mother, a happy child is a pride of every father. A laughing child is a joy for everyone watching. “My child is so bright, not even pain can dull his shine.” What Kaito heard when he smiled to please those around, it was his survival to not be treated like his sister. His sister was born wicked, blood didn't terrify her, supernatural was natural to her and the monster of his parents couldn't control her. She was a storm. She was strong. But Kaito wasn't, he has never been. Every baby step taken was to impress the adults, to have a home, to belong somewhere. They praised his obedience and brilliance. That was Kaito's survival.

“This child is better than the previous one. This child is going to be my pride and joy.” This out loud said favoritism was his victory. It never made him feel whole, it only filled his soul with several unmendable wounds- for he loved his wicked sister. Hiding in his own shell like a porcelain doll made only for decoration, he couldn't help but laugh at himself. How preposterous of him to acknowledge the reality, right? He had to tell himself the truth, “A wicked sister is better than parents that never tried to know his heart.” He played with the girl that his parents one day brought home, she liked colours, she was a genius in Kaito's eyes. Every stroke of her brush brought something to life, in ways that terrified his parents. He was delighted to know that there was something that his parents were scared of.

“You will no longer meet Hikari! She is strange, she will affect the development of the future heir of Kanzaki family!” They said as hatred left no room for their son's happiness. He didn't want to be the heir! He only wanted to be loved! He looked like his father, the same silver hair, the same crimson strokes on his hair but he was nothing like his father! Kaito loved his sister, Kaito loved playing in the mud and he loved playing with the strange girl with the paint brush!

A child that is not loved deteriorates. He ceases to smile and eventually snaps. Kaito thrashed the house, fought for the rights of his sister to be the heir instead, after all she was the older one. The misogyny shall not be carried out in this blood line. It took moments for the praises he received to turn into ridicule.

“You're good for nothing!”

“Having you was a mistake!”

“I'm ashamed to have you as a son!”

“The Kitsune wouldn't want a child like you in our lineage!”

Rome was built in a day but Kaito’s Rome sure did fall apart in a hitch of a breath.

“Give him to me if the Kitsune doesn't want him.”  The ningyo demanded. The head of the Kanzaki family- Kaito’s father turned green in envy, he threw the young boy across the room, begging the ningyo to rethink, to choose him instead of the naive child. “He can't protect you or the lake! He is not even the chosen vessel, why would you choose a useless child to share such delicate information!? He can't handle the curse or the responsibility of the lake!” Kaito cried, his chest heaved with pained heaving. No one wanted Kaito. Not his father, not his wicked sister, not the strange girl with the paint brush- nobody. “The only person I'll obey in this house is Kaito Kanzaki.” The ningyo's voice echoed in the house, emptied of warmth. Many cracks of the bones sounded, someone screamed and someone bled. Kaito didn't understand anything nor did he want to. He was too tired and.. hurt. But this strange yokai that always watched him play from afar- this ningyo said he wanted Kaito. Kaito was unwelcomed in a family of humans but an orphaned yokai accepted him because he was crying? Even as a child, he couldn't help but laugh! He was a child but he wasn't clueless, he shared the same blood as his monstrous parents but he wasn't the same. He understood the truth for what it was, without twisting it. The ningyo pitied.

In the lineage every human wanted to use this ningyo but he wouldn't do the same. Kaito would be this creature’s only friend and always protect him. “What is your name?” Kaito asked amidst sobs, his head resting in Saqib's lap. The ningyo caressed the child’s hair with affection, the kind of genuine affection that Kaito hadn't felt in years. “You can call me Saqib.” Kaito nodded in affirmation. He could feel himself nodding off to sleep, slow tears still sliding down the child’s cheeks. “Let's be friends forever…” Kaito proposed half asleep, it caused Saqib to smile, even a little. Saqib nodded in agreement.

“You can't ever leave, okay? We'll be together forever…”

Kaito never got to hear the answer to his question nor the screaming of humans because he drifted off to dreamland, his life passed in a ring of photographs as if he was swimming past an ocean of stars and when he came to, the sun was up, rising it's orange hue everywhere. Kaito blinked a few times to let consciousness wake him up. “Wake up, Saqib. We got work to do..” Kaito mumbled, grumbling with grogginess. He called out to his friend a few more times but there was no answer. “Saqib…?”

When Kaito got off his bed to check on Saqib who had decided to sleep on the floor, his friend wasn't there.

Saqib was gone.

______⚘______

Two days later

Is this how I die?

His back leaned against the tree trunk as he slowly bled out on the muddy ground. The beats of a certain music score played in his broken phone. The universe has a sick sense of humor, even his death was devoid of peace but it was a theatricals for the deities above to see.

“If I had known things would end this way…” Yukio paused when the stab wound on his abdomen twitched with ache, an involuntary groan left his chapped lips. He clutched his hold tighter on the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. He knew it was futile, there was going to be no help for him. There was no one out there aware of his whereabouts and honestly? Maybe this was not so bad. He didn't want this type of end for his life but it suited him. Alone and miserable. Devoid of all warmth as the perpetrators danced in delight, the jingles on his arms and foot sang a song of victory, joyous to see the young detective bleed out. “I should've at least said goodbye to him..”

Mustering up his strength Yukio looked up at the sky, ignoring the mockery of the giggling jester in front of him. The sky was clear, the moon was bright and the stars twinkled with unsaid messages. The silver was a good change of pace for his eyes, he had grown far too comfortable and used to seeing the golden ambers, it made Yukio appreciate the beauty of the night even more.

Just when Yukio was about to close his eyes to a sink in a forever siesta, a crude hit of foot collided with his bleeding stomach, in one stroke Yukio felt his soul being sucked out. "Ugh!" He fell to the muddy ground sideways and clutched onto his wound. “You can't die yet! You have to tell me what Layla thought about me before you kicked the bucket, my dear!”

The jester waited eagerly like a child, chanting with his lips. “Hm! Hm! Tell Arlecchino everything!” Yukio coughed, he was on the verge of losing consciousness, of course death wouldn't come easy to him. Yukio mumbled inaudibly. Annoyed at the injured man, Arlecchino kicked him again and stomped his foot on the ground like a toddler. “Speak louder! Now! Now!”

Yukio's lips curved in a mocking smile. “She said you look like an undercooked slimy quesadilla-” Yukio’s words were once again cut off mid-sentence. He endured the hits, unfortunately it only bled him out. Numb and cold, that's all he could feel. That's all he should ever have been. Perhaps that wouldn't make him feel so miserable and wretched now, so pathetic and hopeless too. Yukio's mother's murderer was right in front of him, it should've burned him with the fire of fury and yet, all his fading mind could think of was…

Kaname…

The way he didn't hesitate to envelop Yukio in his arms, how he had not hesitated to comfort him with small presses of warm kisses on his shoulders and consoling pats on his back. How on numerous occasions Kaname wished and offered to be Yukio's shield. Yukio will be damned, he missed Kaname in his dying moments.

I will disappear and no one will know, the world will move on and one day.. I will fade from their minds.

I wonder if you would forget me someday too..

Yukio wanted to laugh at himself. He was fearing something he had done his entire life. Trust was a luxury. Love was a miracle and Yukio? Has always been destined for doom. Countless nights of fighting nightmares and hyperventilation with no one to rub his back and lull him back to sleep.

It has always been like this and it will remain so.

Yukio was alone as a child and he will die alone as an adult. And no one will know how terrifying this empty void of loneliness was, like they never did when he was a kid.

I don't want to die…