Awareness 1

We’re at the yearly festival.

All of us, that is.

Girls in yukata and kids with masks running around surround us in an explosion of color, heat, and noise.

I stare at Kazama and… I don’t really know what to say. He’s here, with his usual half-lidded eyes as he stares at me in annoyance.

“Hey, monkey. Stop that.” His tone is inflexible. He thinks I’m messing around even though I can’t imagine how freezing in place all of a sudden could be a joke or a prank.

This guy just doesn’t get people at all.

“Right…” I’ve known that since the beginning. When his attitude is pointed at other people, it’s funny. When it’s pointed at you, however… “That’s just the kind of person that you are, Kazama.”

“The hell are ya talking about?” Kazama growls and gives me his back. “Don’t try to pull a prank now of all times.”

Does he not know that people would not care about his absence, that some would even celebrate it? Or does he know and that’s what makes him so bitter?

Does it matter?

“Man, I’m freaking out here and that’s your reaction?” My chuckle comes out weak, breathless. I can only keep some semblance of sanity because I know that this guy can make a scene here of all places regardless of our feelings. “Talk about cold.”

“What is there to freak out about in a festival of all places?” He retorts but has already closed this conversation in his mind. So he starts walking away while some of the guys give me curious looks. One even looks kind of worried, but he just asks if I’m good before following suit.

I feel so alone right now… But maybe it’s not such a bad thing, given that current company looks like this.

“I think I forgot something at home and the old folks will not take that in stride.” I wink at the dude that actually cared to ask. “I should check before it’s too late.”

The awkward laugh that I get in response is to be expected, but my excuse is accepted all the same. I bid the dude farewell and see him hurry up to go with the group. They’ll probably try to hit on some girls and play around the stands. I vaguely recall doing that last year. Though, considering what just happened, it might be a memory of a more recent ‘time’.

I check my phone after rushing closer to the tree line, where there are fewer people moving around and more space for me to breathe. The date dictates that I’ve bounced forward in time. This thing didn’t even let me enjoy summer break! And now it’s impossible given the time of the year that this festival happens, and the clothes I’m wearing.

I rub my face and take a deep breath.

Kazama’s here and everyone seems to be acting normal. But that could be because of the group’s bad attitude. I have no proof that Kazama’s disappearance didn’t happen and, if I ask, he’ll 100% be annoyed by the intrusion. Whether it happened or not does not matter. But there is proof of the events that have happened thus far, I have it between my hands.

I scroll through my conversations and the countless gravure idol pictures I’ve sent and been sent. Most conversations are inane, pointless. And although I should’ve gone through Kazama’s first, the truth is that I kind of wanted to see the pics and kind of didn’t want to face this Kazama.

Something in my chest felt wrong, I know that something changed. So I used the roundabout route first.

I went through Kazama’s chat last. It has always been short, with me doing most of the ‘conversation’. Which is to say, I sometimes asked him stuff or commented, or sent a picture while Kazama replied with one or two words and that was it. Unless we had plans. So the rummaging was quick.

Nothing about his disappearance or anything to do with someone going missing. None of that. He did seem to have had problems with Akamine at some point, given his comments about the student council. But I’m pretty sure that the first ‘round’ was similar.

Not that I went that far ahead the first time… Or perhaps I did, I’m not sure. This place is way too familiar for this to be the first time I’ve been here. But that can’t be, can it?

Then again, this time slipping thing isn’t normal either. So maybe I don’t go back, but jump forward too? The proof in my hands says that this is not the case. Although I’ve apparently moved forward, this is not the same ‘round’ as the previous one. Where Akamine tolerated my presence.

Kazama didn’t disappear in this round, just like no popular girls did in the previous one. I’ve jumped to a different ‘round’ altogether. The third ‘round’, as far as I can tell.

But is this a good or a bad thing? If my gut is right, and I am starting to seriously think that it always is, there is one way to find out here. In this event. So I walk into the thick of the people, looking around to check what’s going on right now. To see where I should look.

A normal person would automatically think that this is the better ‘round’. No one has mysteriously disappeared, even if my relationships are not the best. The normalcy of life has been preserved. For months at this point, compared to the previous ‘rounds’.

However, that doesn’t mean that this status quo will remain forever. Or that other bad things haven’t happened behind everyone’s backs.

For one, I’m pretty sure that Akamine is still out there. And second…

“Touya-kun! Hurry, hurry!” A girl catches my attention as I stand on one of the rocks lying around the grass, followed by the dumb expression of a guy being dragged around without knowing what to do.

That’s right. My second concern is this very guy, the one that Akamine likes so much.

Kamishiro is still here and, if my read of him is right, Akamine will still be bottling her feelings up because he’s a pushover that can’t see the ticking time bomb on his lap.

The fact that I just found him with the sports club girl is all the proof I need. But what does this mean? I can’t be sure how close they are in this ‘round’. So if I—

“Did you lose something?”

“GAH!” Damn it! Speaking of the devil! “Jeez, Akamine! You scared me!”

“Don’t talk to me so casually, please.” The girl scoffs with barely held back scorn. “And what are you doing here? Spying on some girls, I presume.”

Damn it! How did she know?! Err… What… How is she here already?

“Don’t be like that! We’re not even at school, so what’s the issue with my shenanigans~?”

“I know you and the people you hang out with. It’s not a matter of school but of decency in general.” Damn, I miss the previous Akamine already!

But, uh… Isn’t this kind of self-reporting?

“Why did you climb this rock too? Is Akamine trying to spy someone too?”

Instead of getting flustered, Akamine’s ire increased.

“Don’t rope me in with the likes of you!” So rude! Not even a ‘Senpai’ in sight! Ugh, at least she’s not showing that creepy coldness from other times! “I won’t let you ruin people’s day and that’s the end of it!”

“Akamine should be concerned with having a good day instead of whatever I’m doing.” I retort with a click of the tongue, willing her to go away. “Come on, your ‘Touya-kun’ is probably being snatched by another girl. Shoo, shoo.”

“How do you know—?” Akamine’s stare becomes blank for a moment before mentally retreating and putting up a defensively serious tone. “Know what? I don’t care. Just don’t go around bothering girls.”

I climb off the rock while she speaks. Having seen her confirmed some of my suspicions, but now I have other questions to answer.

I hesitantly offer her a hand to get off.

Akamine, despite the yukata she’s wearing, opts to jump off entirely and lands perfectly on her feet.

Okay… She’s scarily fit and has amazing coordination. This does not inspire peace in my heart.

“So rude…”

“Just don’t get in the way.” Akamine’s warning isn’t as scary as other times. But she still has nothing but scorn for me. “I am warning you out of the goodness of my heart.”

But Akamine… I’m sure there is no good in your heart. Not in this round or in any I’ve met you before. I just need proof to confirm it.