Realization 5

I’ve found a way to pressure Akamine.

I’m… Not sure if it’s a good way. But it feels like I’m making progress all the same.

“Good morning, Akamine-san! How was yesterday’s date?”

“E-Eh?! Oh, it’s Senpai… Wait. What are you talking about?”

“Oh, I overheard ‘Touya-kun’ trying to humble brag to his friends that he totally wasn’t going on a date. So I assumed…”

It’s petty, it’s not very helpful. But I’ve been looking for that spark of hatred that I saw in both timelines. And after wrecking my brain over it, this is the best way to break her perfect student appearance.

Her interest in Kamishiro is far stronger than she lets on. Maybe even stronger than I am giving it credit for. And seeing her stunned expression slowly compress and become awkward has been very… Uncomfortable to watch.

“Haha…! N-No, I didn’t go out… I didn’t do any extracurricular activities with Kamishiro-kun!” This feels very forced. Her voice and expression… Hitting this girl from this side gives surprising results.

Again, she’s way more fragile if approached from this angle than I’d have expected. And that’s without pressing the obvious attempt to distance herself from Kamishiro in the eyes of other people.

It must be a complicated act to balance. Because she doesn’t seem to mind talking about Kamishiro’s so-called ‘good points’ with others. Meaning that she doesn’t see it as a bad thing to be attracted to him specifically.

Which she should, to be honest. I think most people would be pissed off by her taste in men rather than her having a crush at all. But that’s beside the point.

In this timeline, she doesn’t mind my presence. And although we’re not close, I’ve gotten less dirty looks from the students around us when I greet her casually compared to my previous ‘round’. So this approach should get me somewhere. If not regarding Kazama, at least in understanding Akamine.

She gives me the creeps, and although my suspicions lead me to believe that she has something to do with Kazama's disappearance... The truth is that she's here, and Kazama isn't.

Perhaps the ‘going back in time’ thing made me bolder. I have no reason to assume that it’s a one-off thing. So I’ll follow my gut feeling as I have been doing thus far. As I am obviously wiser than the first time, better prepared from previous experiences. Right?

“Referentially, did Senpai actually see Tou—Kamishiro-kun go out?” Ah, Akamine! Don’t you know? We don’t actually need to see anything! Kamishiro will do the heavy lifting by himself.

“There’s no way I could have, Akamine-san! But, come to think of it, I did see ‘Touya-kun’ sneak into the library during lunch. I’ve only ever seen him do that to talk to a curvy girl with short hair and glasses, so maybe they went out?” I caress my chin in a pensive way. After all, throwing dirt at someone must be done properly or it’ll be obvious that it comes from an ill-willed place. “Not that she looks like the kind to hang out very often. Then again, Touya-kun doesn’t look like the kind to talk to girls either!”

“No… Kamishiro-kun looks very innocent and dependable. So kind, so humble…” Oh, Akamine! You’re like an open book nowadays! It’s almost too obvious that you have a crush on him. Which… Ugh. Just thinking about what topics they could talk about makes me want to yawn.

“He’s a dude in the end.” Not that saying that adds a lot to the conversation but, you know, driving the point home feels right. Normally, guys trying to argue would be rendered speechless or embarrassed.

That’s simply what happens when someone smarter and more charismatic takes the stage!

“I…” Akamine still hasn’t said anything about Kazama or anything relevant. But seeing her this lost for words… Something deep in my heart feels like it’s healing. “Senpai?”

“Hmmm?” That’s strange. I’ve never heard this tone from her either. It doesn't feel bad or out of place. I simply would’ve never guessed that Akamine would sound this frail with me.

“You wouldn’t… Lie to me, right?”

I stare at Akamine and she stares back at me. Those are not the eyes of someone frail.

It feels like I’ve reached the point where she’s no longer willing to tolerate me… Not that I had many relationship points with her to begin with. I only got this far because she thinks that I tried to defend Kamishiro from Kazama, so…

“What would I get from lying to you?” My reply comes with annoyance. Since, for all intents and purposes, I don’t think that I need to lie to her here. My hangups with Kamishiro are all valid, all verifiable and open for anyone to see. This is just Akamine having too much faith in a no-good man. “Haven’t you found him playing around with some girls recently?”

The wording might be scummy. But… If I can’t deal with my problems, at least someone should pay for it in full.

I don’t like feeling powerless. I don’t think anyone does but, as school progresses and cliques form, it’s very obvious that people aren’t that different from my group. We use Kazama as a shield between us and consequences, and other people use popular guys and girls as entry points for their own shittiness. Most people just pretend to be meek, or sneer behind our backs while they have less of a backbone than us.

I didn’t choose to be this way because I like bothering people, but people in serious need of some reality check helped a lot in choosing my path.

If we all need someone bigger and meaner to have our back, then might as well clown on as many people as possible, right?

“I wouldn’t call it ‘playing around’…” Akamine sounded less sure of herself, more heartfelt than the sudden burst of coldness from her questioning of my credibility. “But Touya-kun is usually surrounded by girls, yes…”

“I’ve even seen him getting all buddy-buddy with the school nurse.” Honestly, there are only so many ‘accidents’ that I can spy on that I am willing to overlook.

Like, the nurse is hot! But why does it have to be Kamishiro? How is that allowed? I don’t get it! I really, really don’t understand how things started going so south…!

“What.” Akamine’s voice is cold. Stunned by lacking any inflection. It startles me enough to snap me out of my mental moaning.

“I, uh, have needed to go to the infirmary for band aids and stuff recently.” I show her my fist. Not the smartest thing in the world, since I had to punch someone after school. But I… Don’t feel like Akamine is going to snitch on me here. “I’m not saying she has done anything! Please don’t tell the teachers. But…”

“No, I… Isn’t she an adult?” Akamine sounds so lost. But where I’d have thought that she’d cry, she just… Refused to show any emotion.

I shrug.

“Rumor says that she graduated in record time and hasn’t broken into her thirties.”

Akamine doesn’t react.

“I see…” She…

I avert my eyes. I don’t feel like seeing this creepy girl pat herself in disbelief.

It feels wrong.

She walks away slowly. I almost want to go after her, but I feel a sick sense of satisfaction. Serves her right for making me feel like a scared kid. Like before meeting Kazama.

I suppose that I’ll call this a win and go home early. No need to stick around for boring lessons that I already took in the previous ‘round’.

I go to a store and buy some stuff for dinner. No one’s coming home, so it’s all for me. I need to cheer myself up! School will continue to be shitty, so every ounce of internal power will—

“Hey, Saruya.”

“Eh…?”

Gah! That voice…!

I am startled beyond belief, and the poor lighting makes my eyes hurt a bit until I refocus.

“Hey, you bastard. Quit messing around. This shit’s bothersome already as-is.”

I stare straight ahead. Kazama’s talking to me, with some of the guys looking with curiosity.

We’re at a festival, dressed for the occasion.

The convenience store is gone. Kazama is here with us, and probably never left.

I have moved in time again.