Chapter 24: EZPZ

The sleek, anti-gravity elevator doors smoothly slide open with a soft, melodic chime.

We carefully step out into the grand Hall of Elferium, completely ready for a massive scolding or a terrifying digital execution.

However, the scene stretching out before our eyes is entirely unexpected and overwhelmingly majestic.

The massive hall is absolutely breathtaking, featuring towering crystal pillars that glow with a soft, pulsing blue light.

Thousands of floating holographic screens display complex magical equations, advanced city blueprints, and beautiful cybernetic forest landscapes.

Upon reaching the Hall of Elferium, we immediately notice that all the Elf Elders are gathering in a massive circle and whispering intensely among themselves.

They wear elegant, high-tech robes that shimmer like liquid silver under the bright, artificial neon lights.

As we walk nervously down the long, glowing glass carpet, the quiet whispering suddenly stops completely.

The entire grand room falls into a deep, respectful silence that makes my skin crawl with pure anxiety.

Suddenly, loud cheers and thunderous applause erupt from every single corner of the massive hall.

Ishida and the team are proudly and highly greeted by the Chief of Elder, Nova, who stands at the very center of a massive circular holographic podium.

Ishida and the rest are completely clueless and wondering what is going on, while at the same time feeling incredibly nervous about the sudden praise.

"Welcome, our supreme saviors", Elder Nova announces with a bright, enthusiastic smile on her stylish face.

She bows deeply, and the rest of the elegant elders immediately follow her respectful lead.

We are completely surrounded by all the elves, elders, and more cybernetic guards who gently lower their futuristic energy spears to the floor.

I nervously adjust my beautiful pink dress and look around the massive cheering crowd.

"Did they not find out about your stolen digital magazines?" I whisper quietly to Ishida.

"I do not think so", Ishida whispers back, sweating heavily from his forehead. "They look like they want to worship us, not throw us into a cybernetic prison".

Elder Nova steps down gracefully from her glowing podium and walks directly toward our highly confused group.

"You achieve the ultimate impossible feat for our hidden nation", the Chief of Elder declares proudly, pushing her designer sunglasses up her nose.

She simply snaps her slender fingers, and a massive 3D hologram materializes right in the middle of the hall.

The glowing projection shows a highly detailed replay of Ishida slicing the three heads off the giant terrifying dragon in the dense jungle.

The brutal, heroic footage is recorded perfectly from multiple angles by invisible flying digital drones.

"In our sacred Elf tradition, any race that kills the triple head dragon will permanently become the supreme King of Elferium", Elder Nova explains to us with absolute, unwavering seriousness.

My jaw completely drops to the shiny glass floor, and my brain entirely stops working for several long seconds.

"There is an ancient, highly guarded prophecy that states one group of heroic outsiders will lead Elferium after they successfully killed the terrifying dragon", another very old elf elder adds, pointing a trembling, metallic finger directly at Ishida.

I look up at Ishida, and his dark eyes are incredibly wide with pure, unfiltered shock.

We just accidentally stumble right into absolute, supreme political power without doing any complicated hacking or sneaky manipulation!

"We will gladly hand over the entire cybernetic city, our massive technological wealth, and our futuristic military forces to your command", Elder Nova continues smoothly.

"However, there is one single, highly important condition to seal this ancient pact", she says, her cheeks suddenly blushing a bright, glowing neon pink color.

I narrow my eyes, instantly feeling highly suspicious of this incredibly generous offer.

"What is the condition?" I ask carefully, preparing my tactical brain for a massive political catch.

The Chief of Elder takes a very deep breath, nervously straightens her tailored white business suit, and looks directly into my eyes.

"I propose I want to study kamasutra and making love with Lisa", Elder Nova says with a completely straight, professional face.

The entire grand hall instantly falls back into absolute, dead silence once again.

Ishida and the rest are completely in shock at the sudden, bizarre request.

Ishida drops his legendary sword onto the glass floor with a loud, ringing crash.

Diana instantly covers her innocent ears, while Meiyi completely chokes on her own saliva and drops her glowing staff.

"What did you just say?!" I scream loudly, my face instantly turning the color of a boiling red lobster.

"We are asking for the exact reason behind this highly inappropriate request", Ishida stammers, stepping forward defensively to protect his favorite tsundere tactician.

"It is strictly for highly advanced scientific and cultural research", Chief of Elder Nova explains, her blush growing even brighter than the neon signs outside. "We elves live for thousands of years, but our population is slowly declining. I desperately want to learn how to make love with a human to fully understand your rapid reproductive passion".

She steps much closer to me, her eyes sparkling with intense, weird curiosity.

"In return for your biological teachings, you and your team will absolutely lead Elferium forever".

I take several massive steps backward, holding my small hands up in pure, panicked defense.

"I proudly decline instantly!" I shout at the top of my lungs. "I am a pure maiden! I do not even know how to hold hands romantically, let alone teach an ancient elf about adult kamasutra!"

Ishida quickly grabs my shoulder and forcefully pulls me close to his ear.

"Lisa, you absolute idiot", Ishida whispers frantically. "You should completely accept the offer! This is the entire kingdom handed to us on a glowing silver platter! Just fake the romantic lessons or something!"

"I am not sacrificing my pure innocence for a neon city", I hiss angrily, stomping heavily on his expensive boot.

I desperately look around my completely useless team, trying to find a rapid tactical solution to this bizarre political crisis before we lose the city.

My eyes quickly land on the tall, muscular knight standing near the back of our group.

I smirk evilly and point my small finger directly at Amiya.

"Instead of me, I offer Amiya as your supreme adult teacher", I declare loudly, throwing my own teammate directly under the metaphorical cybernetic bus.

Elder Nova looks at Amiya, blinking her eyes rapidly behind her stylish sunglasses.

Amiya steps forward, her face completely flushed with massive, intense excitement and pure joy.

"Oh yes!" Amiya breathes heavily, her masochistic aura exploding across the elegant room. "Please tie me up with your glowing neon cables and force me to read inappropriate books for hours! Punish my stupid human brain with your advanced cybernetic kamasutra!"

Amiya masochistically accepts the offer without a single second of hesitation, falling to her knees and begging the elegant Chief to treat her terribly.

I cover my face with both hands, feeling incredibly embarrassed for my entire species, expecting the elegant Elf Elders to be completely disgusted by her degenerate behavior.

However, Chief of Elder Nova suddenly breathes heavily and drops to her own knees right in front of Amiya.

"You want me to punish you with glowing cables?" Elder Nova gasps, her cool professional demeanor completely shattering into a million pieces. "Oh my digital stars, that sounds absolutely terrifying! Please, you must tie me up first and insult my poor leadership skills!"

The stylish, highly advanced Chief of Elder masochistically acknowledges the proposal!

It turns out that beneath her cool, cybernetic exterior, the supreme leader of Elferium is just as much of a hopeless masochist as our resident idiot knight.

They instantly connect on a deeply spiritual, incredibly degenerate level right on the glass floor.

"I will step on you while teaching you human anatomy", Amiya promises happily, tears of pure joy streaming down her face.

"Yes, please degrade my ancient wisdom", Elder Nova cries happily, holding Amiya's hands tightly.

The rest of the elegant elf elders in the room do not even look confused or disturbed.

Instead, they all happily raise their glowing energy staffs high into the air.

All elves are celebrating wildly, cheering loudly for the successful union between the human heroes and their supreme leader.

Bright digital fireworks explode beautifully across the holographic ceiling, spelling out messages of absolute joy and peace.

I stand completely frozen in the middle of the chaotic, celebrating crowd.

Lisa is absolutely mindblown by the sheer stupidity of this entire situation.

I spend hours stressing out, drawing complex cybernetic blueprints, and trying to formulate the ultimate strategic master plan to conquer this futuristic city.

I completely thought it would take months of sneaky manipulation and intense political warfare to take over this advanced society.

Instead, that is the most easy conquer and takeover in the entire history of the universe.

We literally get handed the keys to the most advanced empire in the world because an ancient elf wants to read dirty magazines and get stepped on by our muscular knight.

Ishida falls backward onto the smooth glass floor, clutching his stomach tightly.

Ishida laughs so incredibly hard that tears stream endlessly down his face.

"EZPZ", Ishida howls with uncontrollable laughter, rolling around on the floor. "We just conquered a cyberpunk elf city with pure, unfiltered degeneracy!"

I deeply sigh, my tsundere rage completely replaced by absolute, soul-crushing exhaustion.

Conquering this world is definitely the easiest, yet most annoying job ever created.