Chapter 20: The Autumn I Love

Chapter 20: The Autumn I Love

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“I’d rather love autumn than spring, with its uncertain beginning...”

My heart was still consumed by worry. Kazuaki hadn't come home yet and wasn't answering his phone. I knew this wasn't like him; he always made an effort to check in, even if it was just a short text. A growing sense of unease took hold of me, and in my womb, our baby seemed to sense that restlessness as well.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

Without a second thought, I ran to the door, pulled it open quickly, and stood frozen at the sight before me. Kazuaki stood there, but he was in a condition that was far from good. His face was covered in wounds, his cheek was bruised, and there was blood on his lip—but what shocked me more was his smile, which looked incredibly calm.

“Kazu...” my voice was hoarse, a mixture of panic and anger. I immediately grabbed his arm, helping him inside. However, the next surprise followed. Standing right behind Kazuaki was Miharu.

The person I never wanted to see again. This jerk... what was he doing here?

Before I could even process Miharu’s presence, Yorishiro quickly apologized. “Forgive us for coming in a crowd like this, Chinatsu-san. We just wanted to make sure Kazu was alright,” he said, glancing at Mitsuki and Konoha who were also behind him, holding Kazuaki’s arms so he wouldn't fall.

I wasn't really listening. My focus was entirely on the badly injured Kazuaki, and Miharu who, somehow, had come along with them.

I don’t care about Miharu or his wounds. Maybe they fought or whatever, I thought to myself, slightly angry but mostly worried about Kazuaki’s condition.

“Just come in first,” I told them all, helping Kazuaki inside. But as I went to close the door, I saw Miharu still standing outside. He was hesitant to enter.

“Just come in,” I said finally, though my heart was reluctant.

Miharu only shook his head slowly. “It’s fine. I can wait outside,” he said, but his eyes momentarily flickered toward my stomach, which was starting to grow. His face shifted, looking guilty, and he quickly looked away.

“Fine, stay outside if you want,” I said cynically, but I still felt uneasy, even toward this jerk. I took a long breath and repeated myself. “Come in.”

He finally obeyed, though with heavy steps. We all gathered in the awkward living room. Momiji and Kiriha, who seemed to sense the uncomfortable atmosphere as well, helped me prepare tea for everyone.

I sat near Kazuaki, who was still smiling despite clearly being in pain. The atmosphere grew even more uncomfortable as Miharu sat in the corner of the room, silent, occasionally glancing at me and Kazuaki. We hadn't spoken in a long time. And now he was here, in the apartment that was supposed to be my place of freedom with Kazuaki.

I remembered again the feeling Kazuaki brought into my life. He was the catalyst for change I needed, like his name ‘Autumn’ which always brings transformation. But honestly, he felt more like spring to me than that jerk, Miharu.

And Kazuaki? With him, I felt freedom, joy, and even hope, much like the essence of ‘Summer.’

I narrowed my eyes, looking at Miharu sitting silently at the end of the sofa. Awkward? Of course. But more than that, a feeling of being imprisoned resurfaced. It was as if his presence awakened memories that should have been long forgotten.

Kazuaki sat on the sofa, groaning softly as I cleaned his wounds. Every time I touched his face, he just smiled. A smile that should have given me peace, but instead made my heart race even more. The atmosphere in the room began to feel warm, even though Miharu sat in the corner, merely watching us with a vacant stare.

“Kazuaki, you surely don't want to look ugly with all these wounds. Come, I’ll take care of you until you’re healed,” I said with a smile, trying to mask my discomfort.

He replied with a soft chuckle, “You’ll take care of me forever, right?” Of course, I didn't want to talk further about that. However, Miharu’s sharp gaze made me wonder what was going through his head. Did he not feel jealous seeing us like this?

While we were talking, Yorishiro and the others entered the apartment. They brought the latest video game console and some snacks. “Come on, Kazu, let’s play together!” Yorishiro exclaimed, making Kazuaki seemingly forget his injuries.

“Right, it’s been a while since we played... it’s a shame Jiro isn't here... ” Konoha added.

From the back, Mitsuki also smirked and said mysteriously, “It’s not just Jiro; the North Star is missing too, isn't he?”

“Hahaha! What do you mean, you old Raven... here you go again, talking about something that doesn't exist,” Konoha replied awkwardly.

Beside Konoha... it seems like none of them, including Kazuaki, understood Mitsuki’s insinuation, so they just stayed silent without asking further. 

With a bit of pain, Kazuaki joined them. In an instant, the atmosphere turned cheerful again. The sounds of laughter and happy shouts filled the apartment, masking the underlying tension. I could only smile watching them play. However, in a corner of my heart, suspicion toward Miharu remained. He just sat quietly, observing Kazuaki and our friends.

I felt the need to talk to Miharu; I didn't want to feel this discomfort anymore. After a while, I summoned the courage to approach him. “Hey, Miharu,” I said, trying to sound casual even though a cynical tone slipped out unintentionally. “Can we talk for a moment on the balcony?”

He looked at me for a moment, then nodded. We stepped outside, closing the door behind us. The balcony air felt cool, and I could hear the laughter from inside.

“Miharu,” I began, trying to restrain my emotions. “I don’t want to see you again. Especially since you hit Kazuaki.”

He bowed his head, not answering immediately. “I know. I apologize for that,” he said softly. “We were just releasing our emotions, Chinatsu. I didn't mean to harm anyone.”

“But what about everything that happened? You shouldn't be like this,” I exclaimed, my voice starting to tremble. Anger and confusion clashed within me.

“Don’t worry, we didn't fight because I still want you. I’ve thrown all those feelings away,” he answered firmly, yet his smile remained, like the sunlight in spring. “I won't interfere with your relationship with Kazuaki. I promise. I only intend to maintain my good relationship with him.”

Seeing his sincere smile, my heart softened slightly. However, that resentment was still there. “You shouldn't really be here...” I said again, this time more gently. “I just want him to be okay.”

Miharu nodded, as if accepting it all. “I understand, and I’ll be leaving with Yorishiro and the others anyway.”

In an instant, I felt something touching between us—an understanding forged through wounds. I didn't know if I could ever fully forgive him, but one thing was certain: I wanted to protect Kazuaki, and for that, I had to keep fighting.

We stood there on the balcony, listening to the laughter from inside. A sound that should have been able to calm me. Yet, between these two conflicting seasons, I wasn't sure what would happen next.

30 minutes later.

Yorishiro and the others began packing up their things. The atmosphere in the apartment grew quieter as they prepared to head home. I stood at the threshold, saying goodbye with a smile that probably looked awkward. Miharu also prepared to leave, speaking softly as usual, but there was a change in the way he spoke. It was as if he truly understood his position now.

“See you, Chinatsu. Take good care of Kazu,” he said with a thin smile. There was no longer an attitude that made me feel threatened, but still, his presence here made me restless.

I only nodded without saying much. “Safe travels,” I said briefly. There was nothing more I wanted to discuss with him. I watched them all leave, their cars driving away from the apartment. The laughter and banter that had filled the room slowly vanished, replaced by a piercing silence.

Afterward, Kazuaki and I walked toward the bedroom to sleep. Our steps were slow as we moved through the quiet corridor of the apartment. The peaceful night air made everything feel more tranquil, but there was something in my heart that wasn't entirely settled.

I glanced at Kazuaki walking beside me. He still looked exhausted and in a bit of pain. His body must have hurt terribly after everything that happened today, especially after the fight with Miharu. Yet, for some reason, I felt angry again. Not because of Miharu—but because Kazuaki had brought that jerk here.

Once we reached the room, I threw myself onto the bed with a pout. “Why did you bring him here?” I asked, sulking, even though deep down I knew Kazuaki didn't mean any harm.

Kazuaki only gave a small smile, enduring the pain in his body as he sat on the edge of the bed. “It wasn't intentional. He only came along because of the situation, and I still respect him as a brother figure. I’m sorry, okay?” he said softly.

I continued to sulk, crossing my arms and turning my face away. But not for long. It was hard to stay truly angry with him. And seeing his tired, regretful expression, my heart began to soften. I moved closer and, without a word, hugged him from behind. I felt his warm body, even though his frame was still stiff from his injuries.

Kazuaki groaned softly. “Ouch... my body still hurts,” he complained with a small laugh.

I pressed my face against his back, savoring the familiar scent that always made me feel comfortable. “You’re okay, right?” I whispered. Even though I was sulking earlier, the most important thing to me now was making sure Kazuaki was alright.

“As long as you’re here, I’ll definitely be okay,” he answered, turning slightly toward me, his gentle smile still visible despite the pain he was suppressing.

I tightened the hug, feeling his steady heartbeat. Tonight, despite everything that had happened, I just wanted us to rest together. Without distractions, without the past intruding. Just the two of us, in a warm embrace.

“Kazuaki...” I whispered softly. “Don’t bring him here again, okay? I don’t want anyone to ruin what we have now.”

Kazuaki nodded slowly. “I promise. It’s just you and me. No one else.”

Hearing that promise, my heart felt more at ease. I knew he was serious, and that was enough for me to get through the night with a sense of peace. I lay down beside him, letting the comfort fill our small room. We held each other, with no more words needing to be said.