Cough

A tall agent in a black suit squeezed through the tiny kitchen window. The balcony screen slid with a thump. Another agent pushed the curtains aside and aimed her gun. Three agents entered from the front doorway. The first fired a device that neutralized the gravitational defenses. Bits of door halted and fell; the other agents brushed them aside with their shoes. The third slung a still smoking semi-automatic submachine gun over his shoulder. The other two opened stun batons that slid with an electric hiss.

Zarp waved a mackerel at the empty door frame with a swordsman’s flourish, “How did you find us so quickly?”

Boots tapped behind the wall before an old man in a long camel hair coat stopped in front of the entrance. He turned to narrow his eyes at Yuki. A loud obnoxious cough ground from his throat, a grating sound like he smoked an entire cartoon of Blackjack cigarettes while eating fried chicken without bothering to chew. Agents waited for his coughing to cease.

Yuki peeked from behind Zarp, who threatened mackerel retaliation.

Asami dropped her jaw to the floor, but was polite enough to cover her mouth.

Zaap adjusted his long silver locks. They glistened with flair in the sunlight.

The old man in the long coat slowly recovered from his coughing fit. His voice creaked like dry hinges, “I’m fine… ahem, hrrruk, hrrruuuuk!”

A long series of violent rattling coughs followed. The building shook as the old man doubled over with a red face. Fist balled against his nose like a fat microphone while he coughed into it.

Yuki tilted her head in concern, “I’m not sure he’s okay. Can somebody help him?”

The old man’s hand raised with a dismissive wave. Black beret fell of his head. Mouth opened wide. Strings of spittle hit his fist and splattered across the tile. Coughing bellowed through the apartment.

Asami held her ears.

Coughing vibrations abated. More agents surrounded them with guns and stun batons at the ready. The cougher focused on Yuki, “Ahem, my apologies. Where were we?”

“We weren’t anywhere,” Zaap flicked his hair at the agents behind him, “You have no reason to pursue us. We come in peace, with no intentions of causing trouble for your world. We only require this singular former human who digested our Gribbeck stone. I think it’s fair. One missing human will not destroy the future of your race. But one missing Gribbeck stone ensures our destruction. There is no way to undo the cellular fusion without tearing her apart. She’s one of us.”

Veiny withered skin sagged at the base of each of his fingers. The cougher’s hand trembled in front of a discolored lower lip, “We have every reason to pursue you. Your technology can revolutionize space travel. We can finally pursue the stars. That’s not something humanity can afford to pass up.”

“Wrong!” Zaap shouted, “If your species is to become spacefaring, you must figure it out on your own. Breaking the shell will lead to your own demise. We know you have no intention of sharing your plunder. Your kind does not work in fandom.”

The old agent took a moment to hack up a lung through his laugh, “I’m sorry, but that’s not how this is going. The truck is waiting outside. I’d prefer if you put the fish down and come peacefully.”

Zarp glanced back, “How much time do you need?”

“We still need four glooptheths.”

Zarp stood his ground while facing the old human agent, “Our apologies. We will not comply with the orders of lesser species.”

Coughing continued, “The old looking vessel has the information we desire, don’t kill him. The other vessel is optional. Eliminate the humans, including the infected. We don’t need them.”

Yuki grabbed a bean bag and flung it at the agent in the kitchen. He swatted with the electrical baton. Polystyrene foam beads exploded across the kitchen. The bead blizzard burst against the coughing agent, obscuring his form. Rattling breath hissed behind foam bead swirls.

Silver hair whipped toward the agents by the back porch. It coiled around their weapons and pulled them into Zaap’s mouth. He crunched them into dissolved clumps of metal and plastic. The lump of material spit against Asami’s back, “The carbon-based polymer is unacceptable as an energy source. Tastes like corpses. Initiating construction sequence.”

The goop blended into Asami’s clothing. Her outfit tightened to a matching version of Yuki’s, except she had the number 69. Despite the chaos, she took time to look over the form fitting space suit, “This is the second time you ruined one of my outfits!”

“It’s also the second most popular number of human cultures,” Zaap explained, “So we have something in common. You’ll require it for the teleportation.”

He pressed her collar. A full helmet with a closed visor grew over her head. Gloves formed over her fingers like molten plastic cooling. Boots bloomed around stocking feet. A metallic voice registered from her helmet speaker, “Is this suit climate controlled? It’s way more breathable than I expected.”

A mackerel swung at swirling polystyrene swirling like lottery balls. A strong whooping cough burst from the bead tornado. The old man stood in the center of the maelstrom with his mouth gaping open, uncovered.

The agents at the back stepped to the side and took cover.

“How rude!” Yuki stomped, “Cover your mouth.”

Zarp batted away swirling foam with his fish.

Coughs shook the building. Their force blasted against the mackerels. Flesh stripped off the fish. The screen in the center of the left fish’s gut cracked. Shredded fish bits splattered against the back wall. The skeletons of both fish were stripped clean of meat as they absorbed the blast waves.

“How much longer?”

“Give us three pernsnackers!”

Mackerel skeletons disintegrated into a grainy powder filled with loose bones.

Zarp turned their empty hand, dropping the tail bone into the discarded pile. Three fingers were missing between his thumb and forefinger. The palm split down the middle revealing wires and internal tunnels. A tiny blob shaped being inside worked to seal the breach, “Activate it as soon as its ready, even if this vessel is not in range. Make sure the queen and her human stay safe. It has been an honor training you.”

Zarp clenched the wounded fist of their vessel before attacking.